u/StarshipSocial

There's so much information out there about anal but it's not always helpful.

I know the basics: use lube (so so so much lube), start small, go slow, communicate, all of it. But what about all the other things people don't talk about?

If you've tried anal, what is something you wish someone told you before you started? More prep, best technique, changing your mindset? I'd love to hear from real experiences!

I have been thinking about introducing a rabbit vibrator into the bedroom with my partner. The dual stimulation seems like it could be a good addition for foreplay.

How did you bring it up with your partner? Was it something you discussed outside the bedroom or did you introduce it in the moment? Did your partner seem interested or were they hesitant at first?

For the practical side, what positions worked best? Have you used one during penetration? Did the toy get in the way or did it stay in place?

The first time I heard of a vaginal dilator it sounded like something I'd see at the gyno. I did some digging and here's what I found out:

Vaginal dilators are typically smooth, medical-grade silicone tubes that come in different sizes. They aren't used as a sex toy but instead as a stretching tool.

I was super curious who they can benefit and the results were interesting!

1. People who experience pain during penetration
2. Post-op trans women to help maintain depth
3. People recovering from pelvic radiation or vaginal atrophy
4. Anyone with tightness, scar tissue, or pain from childbirth or trauma

They stretch the vaginal tissue over time to help improve elasticity and reduce the risk of tearing. It's like physical therapy for your pelvic floor.

After trying out a set here's a few things I wish I knew beforehand:

1. USE LUBE. More than you think. This isn't supposed to be painful so reduce friction.
2. Any kind of pain is a sign to stop and dial it back until you're ready for that girth.
3. They bring up a lot of emotions. It was a good time to reflect and be kind to my body as I worked myself back up to what I was used to before.

What helped you get through your first few weeks of vaginal dialtors? Do you feel like they've helped so far?

I'm curious to hear from other people to see what their experiences were like. Here's my list:

1. Lube isn't optional.
2. This is one I myself didn't take too seriously at the start of using toys by myself. But, it makes everything safer and feel way better. I prefer water-based lubes since they'll go with any toy. One thing I DEFINITELY wish someone would have told me is silicone lubes should NOT be used with a silicone toy. It messes with the material and destroys the toy.
3. Buy the toy you actually want, not what people keep telling you. Nerves are normal and okay!
4. My first toy was a bullet vibrator because that seemed the easiest to buy and keep hidden, but it wasn't what I actually wanted. I hardly used it and ended up going back for a wand vibrator and dildo (what I had wanted originally). It's a little awkward and can be intimidating to pick out a new toy, but that's normal and okay.
5. Buy and use toy cleaner!
6. This one for sure I did not do when I first got into toys. But it's sooo much better for you to clean the toys before and after using them. Especially if they're stuffed away in a drawer full of other random items. This also helps your toys last longer.

Those are my 3 things I wish someone had told me before I bought my first toy, so what do you wish someone had told you?