u/Turbulent-Chance3975

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Me and mom have extremely at odds with each other for a long time and it gets worse everyday. Not to long ago my mom stole money from me. This the second time she has done this because she struggles with drug addiction and warns me she might. I was so mad at her but I tried to let it go. Recently we received a unusually high light bill for waste water. Now I didn't understand why that was but she blamed me for it. Told it was because I took unnecessary long showers, so I decided to cut down on showers. But then she accused me of taking two shower even tho I didn't. She yelled at me and I left the house. Unfortunately when I came back I slammed my bedroom door and this started a whole argument. Apparently she wasn't accusing me of taking to showers she was upset because apparently I was wasting water when I would prepare for and clean up after I came home from hookups/meetups. During the argument she called me a "f\*ggot" and a "S\*ssy" and told she hated me and wish I was never born. In response I called her a "crackheaded bitch" because she stole money from me to buy drugs and threw a basket at her. It's been a day and the atmosphere has been tense. She's done my laundry and cooked food for me, but hasn't said a word to me. Honestly I don't know what to do with myself. Weird thing is I'm actually happy. Because thing is I've tried so hard to hide my sexuality from her and keep it a secret, but the fact that she knows fills my with so much relief. It's like I've spent my whole entire life trying to hide from and now I'm free. It's like a curse has been lifted. But unfortunately now I'm really depressed. I love my mom so much but now it's gotten so complicated and now I feel like she doesn't love me anymore. It's like I feel terrible for what I did, but then again all those years of constant yelling, shame, anger and having to deal with her drug problem has taken a toll on me and I just snapped. I wish things could go back to the way they were but I that's not feasible right now.