u/_oatm1lk_

Or how should I train to be a better slut? I’m very far from deep throating

I have dildos, plugs, and nipple clamps.

My limits are bathroom play, and actual exhibitionism.

I can take a normal dildo in my ass and 2 toys at once. I want to do tasks that are humiliating or slutty.

Hi, I’m looking for advice on how to best approach this.

After some online experiences I’m hoping to explore submission/kinks in person and gathering courage to start attending munches. There was a recent post that went into detail on how best to vet potential doms that I found helpful, so I’m specifically looking for input on how to find what I’m looking for (and if it’s reasonable).

Previously attempts to meet someone who posted looking for apparently casual D/s dynamics on local personals boards have been unsuccessful. Although i continually communicated how I was feeling, what I wanted to explore, and where my boundaries were, inevitably over time the apparent demands on me became much greater, before we had the chance to meet in person. This may have been emotional availability, exclusivity, collaring, saying I was “owned,” pet play, continually trying to shorten the first meeting (in person) to being at their apartment rather than in public, degradation, pushing their kinks that were in my soft limits, wanting me to fully confirm we would do XYZ when we met, etc. if i was briefly unavailable or less responsive on some days (all of these have been short term, days to weeks), some would act out in various ways. I guess my personal feeling is that a day or two without communication is normal without commitment. I had expressed I was inexperienced and looking for a bedroom only dynamic + to take things slow and suggested ways to do that off the bat.

I am slow to trust in this sphere and cannot get into close emotional relationships quickly—I can get there, but I need time to know if I like someone first. I believe trust must be earned. In some online-only dynamics, I’ve known casual doms who did a great job of progressing over multiple “sessions” or maintaining my interest and submission in a single session.

I am interested in experiences like that. But it seems like many people here are looking for a level of devotion from me immediately, and reassurance if not. To me I think we should just be flirting.

Is it reasonable to expect a casual (friends, low-pressure) dynamic? Can there be a dynamic where I have equal voice & power outside of it, but submit in specific circumstances? Or, as a dom, is a high level commitment from the sub, or feeling of ownership of the sub, off the bat, a must to proceed? If not a must, how can I best (safely) find people aligned with me in person?

I’m average looking 20’s F in a city with a large kink population looking for people near my age.

Thank you.

Anal is a big kink of mine and I’ve gotten to the point where I can accommodate a dildo, but I find just a few minutes of gentle strokes makes me sore or distracted. Would love some idea to help me focus more on making my hole ready for use and in a submissive mindset. I prefer anal to vaginal at times and enjoy feeling slutty and embarrassed about being slutty.

I have nipple clamps, plug training set, lovense plug (size S), and a few dildos from average girth and length to a bit above. I’ve let myself be anal free use a few times with the lovense control link setting…pretty fun but hard to schedule.

Hard limits: bathroom stuff, unhygienic tasks, anything actually unsafe, face pics.

Soft limit: public play. I don’t want to do anything to someone who isn’t consenting and I’m not up to approaching strangers about this. But being a secret slut is exciting to me.

Although i like impact I don’t live alone and I may not be able to follow through.

Thanks for your help in turning me into an anal slut ;)