u/favoritethings33

This is the part of the ad where I try to grab your attention with all the best parts of me. Successful, ambitious, driven. Witty, adorable, charming. (Basically everyone’s favorite everything).

This is the part where I make you laugh. My most regrettable Reddit experience was meeting a pastor. (Lord, forgive me my sins. Thank you baby Jesus that I wasn’t a Netflix documentary).

This is the part where I tell you all the worst parts about me. (I just invented this part because, hey, you should know what you’re getting in for). My career is probably my identity, I swear like a sailor, I love to cook but am terrible baker (no gods, no kings, no recipes), I’m petty af, I have to have subtitles on when I watch TV or I can’t pay attention, I am like a human anti-compass, someone once told me when I sing I sound like a fire siren without the sweet promise of death, and I go to bed most nights before 10 pm EST.

Please have at least one rodeo on your resume, not use the terms dead bedroom or dad bod in the first three messages, and be able to articulate what you want and who you are.

And away we go…

This is the part of the ad where I try to grab your attention with all the best parts of me. Successful, ambitious, driven. Witty, adorable, charming. (Basically everyone’s favorite everything).

This is the part where I make you laugh. My most regrettable Reddit experience was meeting a pastor. (Lord, forgive me my sins. Thank you baby Jesus that I wasn’t a Netflix documentary).

This is the part where I tell you all the worst parts about me. (I just invented this part because, hey, you should know what you’re getting in for). My career is probably my identity, I swear like a sailor, I love to cook but am terrible baker (no gods, no kings, no recipes), I’m petty af, I have to have subtitles on when I watch TV or I can’t pay attention, I am like a human anti-compass, someone once told me when I sing I sound like a fire siren without the sweet promise of death, and I go to bed most nights before 10 pm EST.

Please have at least one rodeo on your resume, not use the terms dead bedroom or dad bod in the first three messages, and be able to articulate what you want and who you are.

And away we go…

This is the part of the ad where I try to grab your attention with all the best parts of me. Successful, ambitious, driven. Witty, adorable, charming. (Basically everyone’s favorite everything).

This is the part where I make you laugh. My most regrettable Reddit experience was meeting a pastor. (Lord, forgive me my sins. Thank you baby Jesus that I wasn’t a Netflix documentary).

This is the part where I tell you all the worst parts about me. (I just invented this part because, hey, you should know what you’re getting in for). My career is probably my identity, I swear like a sailor, I love to cook but am terrible baker (no gods, no kings, no recipes), I’m petty af, I have to have subtitles on when I watch TV or I can’t pay attention, I am like a human anti-compass, someone once told me when I sing I sound like a fire siren without the sweet promise of death, and I go to bed most nights before 10 pm EST.

Please have at least one rodeo on your resume, not use the terms dead bedroom or dad bod in the first three messages, and be able to articulate what you want and who you are.

And away we go…