u/favoritethings33

I hate it here. (You probably do, too). It’s like a dive bar that you leave smelling of stale smoke and regret. But the potential of meeting a mysterious stranger who makes you wonder how you didn’t know they existed before this moment keeps us both coming back for more.

This isn’t my first rodeo. (I’m fairly certain I’m legally required to say that along with NOT A BOT and ~ YES I AM MARRIED to post in this sub). I’ve had long, torrid affairs, and I’ve posted here before (with varying degrees of sucess. Ask me about the pastor.)

Successful, ambitious, driven. Witty, charming, adorable. Everyone’s favorite everything.

I don’t want to be your whole life. Just your favorite part.

I hate it here. (You probably do, too). It’s like a dive bar that you leave smelling of stale smoke and regret. But the potential of meeting a mysterious stranger who makes you wonder how you didn’t know they existed before this moment keeps us both coming back for more.

This isn’t my first rodeo. (I’m fairly certain I’m legally required to say that along with NOT A BOT and YES I AM MARRIED to post in this sub). I’ve had long, torrid affairs, and I’ve posted here before (with varying degrees of sucess. Ask me about the pastor.)

Successful, ambitious, driven. Witty, charming, adorable. Everyone’s favorite everything.

I don’t want to be your whole life. Just your favorite part.

In fact, this is not my first rodeo. I’ve been here before, done this before. (This being the dive bar of subreddits. The one you leave feeling of stale smoke and regret).

I’ll be honest, I barely have time for this. I am driven, ambitious, and successful. Sometimes I worry that my career is my identity. But I find when it’s the right person, you can make time for anything (anyone).

I like wine, coffee in the silence of the morning, winning, hauntingly beautiful lyrics, laughing until my sides hurt, Christmas, wine (so nice I’ll say it twice), aviator sunglasses, a great book you mourn when you finish, water sports (like actual water sports), witty repartee, the way my skin feels after a day in the sun.

I don’t want to be your whole life. Just your favorite part.

*NOTABOT (I said it louder for the people in the back).

This is the part of the ad where I try to grab your attention with all the best parts of me. Successful, ambitious, driven. Witty, adorable, charming. (Basically everyone’s favorite everything).

This is the part where I make you laugh. My most regrettable Reddit experience was meeting a pastor. (Lord, forgive me my sins. Thank you baby Jesus that I wasn’t a Netflix documentary).

This is the part where I tell you all the worst parts about me. (I just invented this part because, hey, you should know what you’re getting in for). My career is probably my identity, I swear like a sailor, I love to cook but am terrible baker (no gods, no kings, no recipes), I’m petty af, I have to have subtitles on when I watch TV or I can’t pay attention, I am like a human anti-compass, someone once told me when I sing I sound like a fire siren without the sweet promise of death, and I go to bed most nights before 10 pm EST.

Please have at least one rodeo on your resume, not use the terms dead bedroom or dad bod in the first three messages, and be able to articulate what you want and who you are.

And away we go…

This is the part of the ad where I try to grab your attention with all the best parts of me. Successful, ambitious, driven. Witty, adorable, charming. (Basically everyone’s favorite everything).

This is the part where I make you laugh. My most regrettable Reddit experience was meeting a pastor. (Lord, forgive me my sins. Thank you baby Jesus that I wasn’t a Netflix documentary).

This is the part where I tell you all the worst parts about me. (I just invented this part because, hey, you should know what you’re getting in for). My career is probably my identity, I swear like a sailor, I love to cook but am terrible baker (no gods, no kings, no recipes), I’m petty af, I have to have subtitles on when I watch TV or I can’t pay attention, I am like a human anti-compass, someone once told me when I sing I sound like a fire siren without the sweet promise of death, and I go to bed most nights before 10 pm EST.

Please have at least one rodeo on your resume, not use the terms dead bedroom or dad bod in the first three messages, and be able to articulate what you want and who you are.

And away we go…

This is the part of the ad where I try to grab your attention with all the best parts of me. Successful, ambitious, driven. Witty, adorable, charming. (Basically everyone’s favorite everything).

This is the part where I make you laugh. My most regrettable Reddit experience was meeting a pastor. (Lord, forgive me my sins. Thank you baby Jesus that I wasn’t a Netflix documentary).

This is the part where I tell you all the worst parts about me. (I just invented this part because, hey, you should know what you’re getting in for). My career is probably my identity, I swear like a sailor, I love to cook but am terrible baker (no gods, no kings, no recipes), I’m petty af, I have to have subtitles on when I watch TV or I can’t pay attention, I am like a human anti-compass, someone once told me when I sing I sound like a fire siren without the sweet promise of death, and I go to bed most nights before 10 pm EST.

Please have at least one rodeo on your resume, not use the terms dead bedroom or dad bod in the first three messages, and be able to articulate what you want and who you are.

And away we go…

This is the part of the ad where I try to grab your attention with all the best parts of me. Successful, ambitious, driven. Witty, adorable, charming. (Basically everyone’s favorite everything).

This is the part where I make you laugh. My most regrettable Reddit experience was meeting a pastor. (Lord, forgive me my sins. Thank you baby Jesus that I wasn’t a Netflix documentary).

This is the part where I tell you all the worst parts about me. (I just invented this part because, hey, you should know what you’re getting in for). My career is probably my identity, I swear like a sailor, I love to cook but am terrible baker (no gods, no kings, no recipes), I’m petty af, I have to have subtitles on when I watch TV or I can’t pay attention, I am like a human anti-compass, someone once told me when I sing I sound like a fire siren without the sweet promise of death, and I go to bed most nights before 10 pm EST.

Please have at least one rodeo on your resume, not use the terms dead bedroom or dad bod in the first three messages, and be able to articulate what you want and who you are.

And away we go…