u/hairymanwithcats2

So each time I think I am coming to terms with being one of several/many I get another knock. It's not that I am anti it, and I'm fact I'm very happy for my Goddess that She has reignited Her popularity, and it's probably just going to take time to get used to my place in the scheme of things, but shit it's a struggle at times.

In the past 6 weeks my Goddess has gone from having me as Her full time sub and occasional repeat admirers attending for sessions to having a new account (no I'm not going to share it!😂) with over 2000 followers, discord server with 400 members and having 15 new subs and more interested. That's been a massive change in the demands on Her time and attention, but I am getting used to it. It's hard, and I miss Her at times and get jealous at others. I want this for Her, I even try my hardest to make it happen and grow, but sometimes I'm needing to pull back.

Last night there was an unintentional gut punch. As She was falling asleep She sent me something, content, to ask my opinion on it, and as is almost always the case it was excellent. The problem was it was content we've not done for over a year despite the fact She knew I missed it, and this new stuff looked like it was clearly made with other subs in mind. Ouch.

I am not leaving Her at all, I have absolutely no intention there. She's still gives me the lion's share of Her attention, and although She gets a little frustrated with me She's understanding of my struggle. But I was wondering, does anyone have any suggestions as to how best to cope with the ache that a newly developing poly dynamic creates?

(Note: when I first started serving my Goddess She had several subs too. Her main sub at the time left Her in a dramatic and toxic because of jealousy about a month after I became Her property. I am better than that)

So I tend to only do small sends myself, but that's not what this is about. My Goddess has a new admirer and he's confessed in DMs to me that he's never really been into Findom before. However in the last 2 and a bit days with just a bit of public encouragement from Her he is showing a keenness to become another new finsub. Small steps, $5 only sends, but he's already made it to $75. That's pretty good considering what he's getting is some attention and encouragement from Goddess and myself along with the content She posts on X and discord. I'm impressed by his drip drop enthusiasm.

Today marks one year since my Goddess decided it was going to be (near) permanent chastity for me. In that time it has been off only really for cleaning purposes, myself and the cage. Other than that twice I've had a short lasting burning sensation from the ring beneath my balls that was not relieved by the usual liberal application of moisturizer*. On those occasions there appeared to be no particular reason for the pain, I hadn't been more aroused or exercising more energetically. But both episodes were cured by having the device off for a few hours only.

The device I've been wearing for that year is a Hera Hexlock from House of Denial (u/HouseofDenial). I wear an extra small cage which prevents a full erection though perhaps because of it's small size means that when I try I do end up getting growth in the shaft forcing the cage forward until the ring allows no further movement. This is actually pretty effective as it means that my Goddess can cause not an insignificant amount of pain when She chooses, without me having the opportunity to be simulated for pleasure. So it works really well for our purposes.

This has been a very pleasant device to wear. Prior to this I'd trialled chastity with a silicone device from the same company. But the Hera was a great step up, and the Hexlock made it even lighter and less bulky. I worked, slept, trained for and ran a marathon in it without any problems except those two occasions mentioned earlier. It is easy to put on and take off when needed for cleaning (don't take it off in the shower or you'll end up losing your screws). It is discreet and really I think it actually shows less beneath my clothes than I did before I was caged, so that was good too. I would highly recommend for lightness, comfort and ease of use, it's been a big (well small actually) success!

*Moisturising multiple times a day is very helpful. In fact when I ran the marathon I took a tube of moisturizer in my pocket for regular use, but the only times I needed to were those I needed a pee break anyway.