u/ishoweredandimwetnow

Hey, so ummm... you know what today is? It's like, National Human Toilet Day. I just found out about it, it's totally a real thing. Like, people celebrate by... well, using someone else as their toilet. Isn't that wild?

Soooo what'ya say? Like, would you maybe want to be my toilet? Please? I’d totally do anything! Look, I know how much you stare at my friend Chrissy when she comes over. Next time she sleeps over, I could totally snatch her panties for you, like the ones she wore all day. You could have them if you just let me... you know... use your mouth... Please??

I’m literally begging you, if you have any sisterly love for your baby sister at all, you’ll do this for me. I’m not asking to borrow money or your car, just… let me sit on your face and take a shit in your mouth. That’s all! Come on, be a good brother for once and just open up. Please?!?!?!??

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Okay, just hold still for a second. I need to get the angle right. There we go. Just gonna lower myself back a little more… yeah. I want you completely buried in here. No light, no air, just me. Don't try to move your head, the wall's got you. This isn't about being mean or nice; it's just about doing the job properly. My ass needs to be perfectly seated against your face before we proceed.

Alright, that's good… deep breath for me? Oh wait, you can't breathe with my cheeks smothering you, can you? That’s fine, don't worry about breathing yet.

Let me check the seal… perfect. You're not going anywhere. Comfortable? Doesn’t matter, you're ready. Now stay very, very still and keep that mouth open wide. I can feel when you tense up, just relax into it. This is exactly where I need you to be before I start working on taking a shit into your mouth...

Perfect. That's exactly right. Just like that. Now, I'm going to relax my muscles. You'll feel a slight pressure building up against your lips first. It might be more than you're expecting, but don't pull away or try to adjust, you'll ruin the seal.

I can feel it moving now, starting low in my gut and working its way down. Almost there… just let it happen.

Here it comes. A big, firm load is pushing out of me right into your waiting mouth... You need to keep your throat completely open and relaxed.

I'm already starting to push out the next wave. It's building up right behind what you're holding. This new load is going to be dense, and it's going to press directly against the shit already filling your mouth.

Don't fight it. Let that pressure from my ass force the first mouthful down your throat. It has nowhere else to go but down into your stomach, let it happen.

Feel that? There goes another big push from me, forcing more warm crap past your lips. That new shit is shoving the previous shit deeper into your throat… and here comes even more right on its heels…

Just keep letting it happen. My body is doing all the work for you...

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She's hungover, she feels like shit. Her head is pounding and her stomach is churning from all the greasy food and snacks she devoured last night. She stumbles into the bathroom, barely able to keep her eyes open, and collapses onto the cold porcelain toilet seat. She doesn't remember much about last night, but she definitely doesn't recall turning her brother into this very toilet she's now using. As she relieves herself, the loud, messy dump echoes in the quiet room, completely unaware that every groan and splash is happening directly into what used to be her sibling.

It'll probably be a few days before she remembers what she did. Until then, her brother is just going to have to sit there and take it, eating every single one of her disgusting, greasy-food-fueled shits without a word of complaint.

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You're really considering this, aren't you? Look at you, desperate for any scrap of attention from women who wouldn't even glance your way. They’re up on deck, flawless and untouchable, while you’re down here with me, about to make the most humiliating decision of your life.

That hose connects directly to the septic tank. Every single one of their flushes, their waste, it'll all flow right into you. Think about it: the very women you fantasize about, whose touch you’ll never feel… you’ll be filled with what their bodies discard. It's the closest you'll ever get to them.

So stop hesitating. Get on your knees. Open your mouth. This is your chance to finally serve a purpose for them, even if they never know it. You want to feel connected? This is as real as it gets for someone like you.

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Emma's Shit Eating Tips

Your shit-eating journey doesn't have to be this hard. I know it's tough at first, but with a little guidance, you can learn to love being my toilet. Here are some essential tips to help you get better at eating shit.

Your mind is your biggest enemy. Don't think of it as waste; think of it as the most direct gift a woman can give you. My body made this specifically for your consumption. That shift in mindset is the first and most important step.

Always open wide and try to make a good seal. A messy eater is an amateur. If you take it directly into your mouth, you minimize the mess and prove you're serious about this. Try to feel like you're an actual toilet!

Breathe through your nose. This seems simple, but newbies always forget and panic when the smell hits them. Control your breathing, and you control the experience.

Don't just hold it in your mouth, chew/swallow immediately. The longer you hesitate, the more the taste and texture will overwhelm you. Get it down fast. Speed comes with practice.

Practice with different consistencies whenever you can. Soft, firm, runny... each type is a different challenge that will build your skills and desensitize your gag reflex over time. You got this.

And never complain about the taste or smell afterward. Thank whoever fed you for their generosity in letting you serve them in such an intimate way.

Remember, every great human toilet started where you are now: struggling and unsure. Keep practicing, stay dedicated, and soon enough, swallowing a full load of hot shit will feel like second nature to you.

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The toilet is clogged again, and frankly, I'm not a plumber. So you'll have to do. Get on your knees and open your mouth wide. This isn't a request. You're going to hold perfectly still while I position myself over you. When I'm finished, you will swallow every last bit. If you do a good job, I might even let you clean my ass with your tongue afterward.

Hey!!! You can check out more of my captions here:

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Is that all you can do? Just stare at my ass with that pathetic, desperate look on your face? You want to get closer, don't you? I bet you dream about burying your whole face in there. How about it... you want to put your nose right against my cheeks and take a deep breath? Go on, admit it.

You think it's going to smell like flowers and perfume? It's an ass, you moron. Of course it's going to smell like sweat and skin and... well, ass. And the pathetic part is that you'd probably get hard from it, wouldn't you? The worse it smells, the more your little dick twitches. You're a real piece of work, getting off on something that should disgust you.

Go ahead. Rub your nose right in, push your face deep into my cheeks like a bad puppy being punished. I want to feel your pathetic sniffing and hear you struggle to breathe. You know what you're smelling, right? That's the faint scent of shit, because that's where it comes from, genius. This is the exit hole for my waste, and you're treating it like it's some kind of holy grail. Now rub harder. Let everyone see what a depraved little pig you are for loving the stench that should make any real man gag.

Don't pretend you're just here for the skin. I know what you really want. You want to be here right after I've used the toilet, don't you? You fantasize about getting a lungful of that thick, raw stench of my shit while your face is buried in my ass. It's disgusting, but it's the truth. You get off on the idea that this beautiful body produces something so foul, and you'd give anything to be my personal trash can for it. What kind of man gets a boner from the smell of another person's waste? The answer is you, a worthless, broken freak who only deserves to breathe in my shit.

You want to go deeper, don't you? You’re not just obsessed with the outside, you want to smell what comes out of it. I think you'd probably love it if I pushed and let a load of my shit slide right onto your face. You'd sit there, covered in crap, and thank me for it. Let's be clear: that is so fucking far from normal. Normal men want a woman's mouth or her pussy... but you? You get hard thinking about being used as a human toilet. What does that say about you? Absolutely pathetic.

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So, I need to ask. How was it? How did eating my shit actually feel? It was obviously bad, I mean, you tried to pull away more than once, luckily you were unable to. But yeah… now that it’s over and done with, I want to know. How was it? Because I felt every last bit leave me and go right into your mouth, and I wasn’t letting up until you swallowed.

It's indescribable. I knew it would be bad. I understood that. But the reality… there's no preparing for that. But imagining it and actually experiencing it… there's no comparison.

The taste hit first. It wasn't just a bad taste. It was a complete takeover. Like every awful, rotten, bitter thing you could ever think of concentrated into something warm and thick and real on your tongue. My whole body just seized up, that instinct to gag, to spit it out, to get away from it was overwhelming, like something that was never meant to be inside a mouth. My throat tried to close up on its own. That's when I tried to pull back the first time.

But you held me there. And then came the texture... warm and thick and pasty, clumping on my tongue, filling every space. It had weight to it. A solid, mealy weight that made my gag reflex scream because it wasn't a liquid you could just swallow, you had to move it around, work with it, I had to move my jaw and tongue around it, chew it. That's when I started feeling how much of it there actually was… that’s when the reality of what I was doing fully set in. Every time more came out of you and landed in my mouth, that initial wave of taste just got stronger and more overwhelming.

Feeling it break apart between my teeth into smaller pieces that then spread that flavor everywhere all over again. Each bite released more of that awful taste, mixed with the warm, mushy feel of it all turning to a paste in my mouth.

Swallowing took actual effort. Every time felt like fighting a gag reflex so strong it made my eyes water. Trying to take a breath without inhaling any of the smell or bits still in my mouth was impossible. The whole time, the reality of what I was doing, chewing and swallowing another person's shit. I'm just glad it's over.

Hey!!! You can check out more of my captions here:

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Okay, I'm really curious. This is just a hypothetical question. If you were at my house, and I asked you to come look at the toilet in my bathroom because I'd just had to go and it wouldn't flush... what would you say? Would you offer to help me? Like, genuinely help me?

Because here's the thing, it's not like a normal clog. It's *my* mess sitting right there in the bowl. Big and solid and... well, mine. And the plunger isn't working.

So I'd be standing there next to you, looking all sweet and maybe a little bit distressed, batting my eyelashes just so. And I'd ask in this really nice voice if you might be willing to clean it up for me. To really *clean* it up, I mean.

You know... take care of it with your mouth if that's what it took to make my problem disappear. I have this feeling that some guys out there would be more than happy to do something like that for a girl like me. They wouldn't even hesitate.

I've always sort of gotten my way when I ask nicely enough. So tell me truthfully now, if I looked at you with those big hopeful eyes and said please, would you kneel and eat my shit out of my toilet? Would you be that kind person who helps a princess out of an icky situation?

It would be soooo disgusting too, that heavy, warm, really personal sort of stink. My crap just stewing in the water. You'd see it all, too, the color, the texture, everything I ate earlier right there waiting.

You’d have to get your face right down into that to do a proper job. Your nose would be so close you could feel the warmth rising off it. I imagine you’d gag a little at first, anyone would.

But for me? If I asked sweetly enough? I think you might push through that. I think you might hold your breath and do it anyway, because making me happy and solving my little problem would be worth more to you than your own comfort.

So what do you say? In my perfect hypothetical world, would you be my good boy and clean my toilet for me? Not with a brush, but your mouth?

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Don't Fuck With Mean Girls

That bitch Chloe was talking shit about me in a group chat, saying my ass looks fake. You know what she deserves? I saw the setup you have for the boat's waste tank. I want her attached to it.

We'll strap her head into that hatch with the pipe going right into her mouth. Kayla and Jess can come over, we can party and she will be responsible for keeping the septic tank empty!

She'll be swallowing everything that comes out of all of us until she learns some fucking respect. It's wrong, I know it's disgusting... but please? For me? She needs to understand who she's messing with.

Look at you. I know it's horrifying. I made sure it wouldn't be painful, you'll be here a while, and I'm not *that* cruel. Your head is locked in place, that pipe forced to your mouth.

I know this seems harsh. It *is* harsh. But you need to learn a very specific kind of respect. The kind you only get when you're reduced to being someone's plumbing. Like, what did you expect after what you said about me online? Respect is important, Chloe. You clearly didn't have any for me, so now you're going to learn it the hard way. And I can't think of a better lesson than forcing you to swallow gallons of our sewage.

Every time you feel that tube vibrate and that warm, thick sludge start filling your mouth, I want you to remember why you're here.

All that arrogance, all that gossip... I think eating this much sewage will definitely take you down a peg or two. Every swallow is another lesson in respect. Now open wide. The tank's about full.

Hey!!! You can check out more of my captions here:

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Right, so I ate seven all-dressed hot dogs a few hours ago. They were amazing then, but now they're ready to come out. And since you’re here… well, you know the arrangement.

I honestly don’t care what you think about it. You’re going to open up and take this, because frankly, that's what you're for. It's not personal, it's just practical. I need to go, and you're available.

So, are you hungry? Hungry for some hot dog shit? I guess it doesn't really matter if you are or not. This is happening either way. Just do me a favor and try not to make a mess. The less cleanup I have to deal with afterward, the better for both of us.

Ready when you are. Or… well, ready or not, actually.

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Don't be so gentle, it's not a kiss. My ass is dirty and you're the toilet paper now. Press your face in deeper and scrub my hole clean like you mean it.

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It's this weird secret I can never tell anyone. My roommate, she's so hot, and for months now...she'll just use the toilet and walk away without flushing. It started small at first. I'd go in after her, see it sitting there, and just...get close. Put my face right over the bowl and breathe it in. I loved it. Then one time I licked it. Just a little taste.

Now I eat it. Every chance I get. I know how disgusting that sounds, how fucked up and taboo it is, but my fetish is too strong. I have to eat it every chance I get, I'd hate myself if I didn't eat her shit.

She just posted a story on Instagram. A picture of her dinner plate, a roast chicken with all the vegetables, covered in this rich-looking gravy. It looks incredible. And all I can think about is watching her eat that...knowing that later tonight or tomorrow, what's on that plate will be processed by her body and end up in our toilet for me.

Seeing her food like this...it makes something so normal feel deeply, intimately erotic to me. I'm not just looking at her dinner; I'm looking at my next meal, after her body is done with it.

It’s messed up, I know it is. A normal person sees a plate of food and thinks, "That looks good." I see it and picture her enjoying every bite, laughing with friends maybe, completely unaware that her digestion is part of my own private ritual.

The tender chicken, the savory gravy-soaked vegetables… they’ll break down inside her. And what her body doesn't need, she'll push out. And she won't even think twice about it. She'll walk away.

That rich dinner will transform into something dense and warm for me later. When I see that log in the bowl, I'm not just seeing shit. I'm seeing her roast chicken dinner.

She eats for pleasure, and eventually, I get to taste the absolute final result of that pleasure. Her food becomes my food in the most nasty way possible.

Hey!!! You can check out more of my captions here:

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Alright, so here's the deal. You're on your knees in front of me, and I'm going to pull down this little skirt, and then I'm going to use you. You look a little nervous, but that's okay. This is what you signed up for, right? Being my personal toilet means you get to serve a real purpose. So open up wide, I've been holding this in all day just for you. Try to catch it all; I don't want to see a single piece on the floor. After I'm done, you're going to thank me and make sure my ass is spotless. Got it?

It's going to be a big, solid load. I had a heavy lunch, so this isn't going to be some soft mess, it's firm and substantial. You'll feel the weight of it hitting your tongue. It’s warm, and the smell is going to be strong and earthy, just like you'd expect from something that's been brewing inside me all afternoon.

You need to keep your mouth wide open and your head still. No flinching. When I'm finished, you'll swallow every bit. Then you'll use your tongue to clean my ass thoroughly, getting into every fold until there's no trace left. After that, you'll look up at me and say "Thank you for the meal." That's what you can expect. Now get ready.

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So let me get this straight: 2

Yeah. Exactly. You'd be in total control. No matter what you ate, no matter how much or how... intense it is. I wouldn't move a muscle unless you told me to. I'd actually prefer it if you were able to get into the mind set that I'm not even a real human, if you could see me as a an actual toilet, I think that would make it better, like for both of us!

So, how would the relationship work? Is this like... an all-the-time thing? Do you expect me to just shit in your mouth every day like it's a normal part of our morning routine? Or is it some special occasion type thing?

Ideally, it would be every time. Whenever you need to go. I don't want to use the real toilet anymore if I can help it; that's what I'm for.

Okay, well, even though it's really gross, although, I guess when you think about it, it's only gross for you, right? Like, I'm not the one that'll be eating shit every day. Yeah, I can try this out. But you need to understand something. Once I start doing this... once I'm actually shitting and pissing in your mouth all day long... I am probably going to lose all respect for you. You won't be my boyfriend; you'll just be my toilet. I'll never kiss you, or let you fuck me. And if my girlfriends come over and they have to go? Yeah, I'm offering your mouth to them too. If we're doing this, we're doing it all the way. Are you

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*My palms are sweating as I stand in front of your desk after everyone else has left, my heart pounding so hard I can feel it in my throat.* Please, I know I'm not the best student, but I really need to pass this class. *I shift my weight nervously, unable to meet your eyes for more than a second.* I'll do anything you want, seriously, anything at all. Just tell me what I need to do to get a better grade.

*I glance toward the door to make sure it's closed, then look back at you with a slight blush.* Actually... there is something you could do for me. I really need to use the bathroom right now, but the staff restrooms are being cleaned. *I bite my lip nervously.* Would you... would you be willing to let me use your mouth instead? You did say you'd do anything for a better grade.

*My stomach turns at the thought, but I force myself to nod.* Yeah... okay. If that's what it takes to pass your class. *I swallow hard, trying not to think about what's about to happen.* You can... pee in my mouth. Just tell me what I need to do.

*I shift uncomfortably, my face growing warmer.* Um... actually, it's not just that. *I look down at my hands, then back up at you with an embarrassed expression.* I really need to... go number two. Would you still be willing to help me? You'd have to open wider and make a good seal.

He layed on the cold linoleum floor, hands trembling as he positioned himself beneath her. She guided his head into place, her skirt brushing against his cheek. When she lowered herself onto his face, the first wave of warm waste filled his mouth with a bitter, overwhelming taste. He gagged instinctively but forced himself to keep swallowing, tears streaming down his flushed cheeks as she emptied her bowels completely into his throat. The classroom filled with the thick scent of her digestion while she sighed in relief above him. After she finished, she remained seated on his face for several more minutes, making sure every last drop was consumed before finally rising and smoothing down her dress.

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So let me get this straight: 1

So let me get this straight, you want to eat my shit? That's so gross. I thought you liked me? Like, actually liked me like a normal person?

I do like you. I'm just weird, I know it's not normal. But when I really like a girl, I can't help but want to eat her shit.

Okay, so you're telling me that the more you like me, the more you want to... consume my literal crap. That's your version of romance? I don't even know what to say. So if I went to the bathroom right now, and came back out, you'd... what? Ask for a sample?

No, I wouldn't just want a sample. In my fantasy, it's direct. You wouldn't even go to the bathroom. You'd just tell me to get comfortable on the floor and lie on my back. I'd open my mouth wide for you, like a bowl or something. Then you'd just come over and squat right above my face. You'd pull your panties to the side, aim down, and... let it go. Straight from you into me.

Wow. That's... incredibly specific and disgusting. But the way you say it, with so much desperation... I can't believe I'm even considering this. So I'd be in complete control? Just using you like some kind of living toilet whenever I felt like it? You'd really just lie there and take it, no matter what?

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You were being creepy and they wanted to punish you for it. But how would they do it???

So, we've discussed it, and we just finished voting. We decided that your punishment will be to serve as our personal toilet for the next seven days. You thought leering at us and making those disgusting comments was just harmless fun? No. This is what happens when you make every single one of us feel unsafe and disgusted.

For one full week, you don't speak unless spoken to. You kneel where we tell you to kneel. You open your mouth when we tell you to open it. Your only purpose is to catch our waste, every shit, every piss, and then clean up after. Consider it a very direct lesson in consequences.

You wanted access to us so badly? Well, congratulations. You’re about to get closer than you ever imagined.

Hey!!! You can check out more of my captions here:

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Alright, so I need some advice from the veterans here. I sell my shit online, and most of my buyers are totally fine, but I just had this one guy place an order after being a complete jerk in our DMs. He was demanding, talked down to me like I was his servant, and generally had a nasty attitude. Instead of calling him out or canceling the order, I’ve decided to give him exactly what he paid for… but I want to make it an experience he’ll never forget.

My goal is to make my next load smell so foul and taste so disgusting that he genuinely regrets ever messaging me. I want it to be the worst shit he's ever encountered in his life. I'm talking about something that reeks so bad it fills the whole room the second he opens the container, and tastes so horrific he gags instantly.

What can I do to achieve this? What foods should I eat in the days leading up to it? Are there any specific supplements or drinks that will really amp up the nastiness? Any other tricks you’ve learned to absolutely ruin a batch for a deserving customer?

Eat asparagus for two days straight. The sulfur smell will be unreal.

Mix in some really cheap protein powder with your meals. That always makes my shit taste incredibly bitter and chemical-like.

Don't drink much water the day before. Dehydrated crap is so much more concentrated and acrid.

Fried onions and lots of garlic. It seeps through your pores and into everything, the smell clings for days.

Try some canned fish, like sardines or tuna. That oily, fishy flavor comes out powerfully in the final product.

If you can stomach it, fermented foods like kimchi or sauerkraut work wonders for creating that funky, rotten taste.

You are all amazing, thank you so much. I'm taking notes on everything and my grocery list is looking absolutely foul. I have a really good feeling that this batch is going to be fucking awful in the best way possible.

I can't wait to package it up for him. I'll be super sweet in my final message before shipping, telling him how special this one is and how much care I put into it just for him. And then I'm definitely going to ask if he can promise me, for me, that he will eat every single last bite. It would mean everything to know he's enjoying my gift so thoroughly.

Hey!!! You can check out more of my captions here:

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Hey, I've been looking through your listings and I really like a lot of the stuff you're selling. This might be a weird question, and please feel free to say no, but would you ever consider selling your poop? Like, fresh shit in a bag or a container. I totally understand if that's not something you'd be comfortable with, just thought I'd ask.

Yeah, I've thought about it before. Honestly, it's just shit. I don't get the appeal at all. What are you even going to do with it? Just... smell it? Or...?

Yeah, I guess it’s best to be honest since you asked. It's for a human toilet fetish thing, I fantasize about eating a hot girl's shit. I know it's disgusting, but it is what it is. So yeah, if you sold it to me... I'd eat it. Or at least try to.

Well, just because I'm hot doesn't mean it would taste good. It's shit, dude, it's gonna be bitter and gross no matter who it comes from. You'd probably gag the second you tried to put it in your mouth. Are you sure you've really thought this through?

I'm willing to pay $150 for it. I know the risks and I know it'll be gross, that's part of it for me. So just let me know if you're willing to do it or not.

Wow, $150? Okay, yeah, I can do it. Since you're being honest and paying that much, I guess I can be real with you too. Just so you know what you're getting into, even though I'm a girl, my shits are usually really big and smell awful. Like, seriously rank. Sometimes they're thick and log-like, other times they're just massive loads that practically clog the toilet. They’re never cute or dainty; they're heavy, stinky, and gross. If you still want to go through with this knowing that, then we can make it happen. When were you thinking?

That's literally perfect! You have no idea how much better that makes it. The bigger and smellier, the more I'll get my money's worth. Honestly, knowing it's coming from someone who looks like you but takes these nasty, foul dumps just turns me on even more.

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