u/needed_throwaway_nvs

I’ve always been on the premature side but have been able to manage it effectively or find ways to hide it when having sex (thankfully I really love giving oral). I’ve been able to feel myself getting close when having sex and put out to cool down a bit, then go back at it like the timer has restarted. Rinse and repeat until my wife is good to go and then I just go until I cum, which doesn’t take much at all.

Premature aside (for now), I had my first ruined orgasm a couple of months ago when wearing a cock ring for the first time. I went through my normal process of trying to cool down, but a couple of cycles in it didn’t work like usual. I assumed it was because I was really excited wearing the ring and I was ridiculously hard. It was truly a ruined orgasm (no spasm or contractions, just cum pouring out). I finished cumming and had no idea what just happened. I was still hard and my wife asked if I could keep going so I got cleaned up quick and went back to it. I chalked it up to wearing a ring.

But the last 2 were without a ring, my first cycle of cool down didn’t work at all, and my wife laughed at me (new kink unlocked lol). I want to be clear, I wasn’t trying to cum quickly or have a ruined orgasm, it just happened. But I wanted to share the things I’ve noted during those last two experiences for anyone that it might help you get there as well:

- My wife and I were flirting all day both times. Sending dirty texts and pics back and forth for hours while we were away from each other. A big build up there. And when we were finally together at the end of the day we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
- I watched sooo much porn both times. Found some new subs and tg channels and dove in. Was edging on and off all day. Gave myself the actual medical blue balls problem by noon the one time.
- The last one I went to put her vibrator on the charger and found lidocaine spray that I bought a while back and forgot I had it. Decided to give it a try. Gave myself 2 squirts (less than it recommends) just to test drive it. I was rubbing myself through my shorts on and off for the next hour just to see what the effects were. I’ll say it was noticeable, nothing crazy.
- She changed up the routine unexpectedly, she’s a bit of a pillow princess (a side effect of me being premature) but did a few things out of the ordinary that really turned me on.

All of that stuff lined up perfectly and I didn’t stand a chance. Typically once I cum, I’m done mentally and physically and my wife can tell when I’m getting too close and begs me not to cum (jokes on her, it makes me cum even quicker). But all 3 of these times I was able to go for round two and she said she doesn’t feel like she needs to hold back laughing at me being premature anymore because now I figured out how to go again. So good luck out there fellas, hopefully what I figured out to be the holy grail for me pays off for you too!

Don't know if this is on topic, but I found this subreddit recently and had an epiphany on a few experiences that my wife and I (WF/WM) had with a friend of mine and his girlfriend at the time (AM/AF). Sorry for the long post, but all of this is coming back to me like it happened yesterday thanks to this sub haha.

My buddy kept talking about how good his girlfriend was at sucking dick any chance he could work it into a conversation and how much I would love it. I mentioned it to my wife and she said "he literally wants her to suck your dick", which I didn't believe for a second and honestly thought it was kind of weird for him to keep bringing up. My wife and her have hung out a couple of times and hit it off so it's not like his girlfriend is some unknown person he's talking about.

Two months after that, the four of us are hanging out at our house in the hot tub and having a great time. I 100% jokingly tell my wife to "take her top off" and she just goes "ok" and does it without a second thought. I was like "oh shit" because she's never done anything like this before and I was seriously just being funny. Then he goes "titty time" and his girlfriend takes hers off too and throws it as far as she can. So it goes from jokingly telling my wife to take hers off to two topless women in my hot tub, one of them clearly wants to remain topless.

I make another joke about turning the bubbles on to hide my boner and my buddies gf goes "then I know what time it is next" and slides over between my wife and I and its the 3 of us sitting next to each other and him by himself on the other side. My wife and I learn forward, look at each other real quick and give a "sure, why not" look and she goes across over to him. This is literally a first for us on all fronts, never talked about stuff like this before.

At this point she climbs on my lap facing me and I cannot see my wife or him. I have no idea what they're up to over there, what is "allowed", or even what is happening right now! His girlfriend whispers in my ear "I knew it was going to be thick" and she starts rubbing my dick under water. We kiss a bit a bit and I'm rubbing her tiny tits just and realized my buddy probably has my wife's big tits in his face...and good for him lol. She and I are rubbing on each other for another 2 minutes or so and she's narrating everything to her boyfriend. I can hear him saying stuff back to her and next thing I know my wife slides back next to me on our side of the hot tub. My wife asks if we can get out of the hot tub to go have sex and I say "with who" dead serious because I am confused as fuck at this point. She laughs and says "you" and I'm like "ohhhh" because I'm like a lost puppy. Buddies gf says "you're so lucky" to my wife as we're all getting out of the tub at the same time. Nothing too crazy after that, we headed to different rooms and I had sex with my wife and he got a blowjob from her. Then just hung out again like nothing happened.

But the more we hung out with them (and now finding this sub), it was clear they both were way more into me than anything. My wife have since dabbled in lifestyle activities and since then I thought it was just a cuckold thing, but I'm totally convinced it was the AM/AF/WM dynamic.

Wife and I have a mix of real life experience and role playing. We started off in the lifestyle swinging and pretty quickly shifted to more of a hotwife / cuckold situation (mutual decision, there is more to it). We haven’t had the time in recent years to really get back out and meet people so we’ve been watching a lot of porn and role playing together. What we noticed is the stuff we’ve been watching and bookmarking isn’t necessarily what our real-life preferences are or even fantasy so much, but we found ourselves connecting with the content better. A lot of it leans in on the cuckolding tropes so it scratches the itch quicker than it just being like “standard porn” or whatever. Has anyone else found themselves in this scenario?