u/realbees

For as long as I’ve been having sex, I’ve noticed that it’s extremely difficult for me to reach orgasm if another person is involved. I have some difficulty making myself cum as well, but most of the time I can get there after working myself up a bit.

I’m not sure if it’s a mental block or a physical one, but I’ve accepted this is just how I am. I’m fine with it, it doesn’t hinder my enjoyment of sex and it actually increases my stamina in most cases. But I’ve had partners in the past feel inadequate due to their inability to make me cum, even though it has nothing to do with them. For a while I would just lie and say I’d cum when I hadn’t, but I’ve stopped doing that cause it makes me feel shitty and it’s not fair to my partners either.

I would like for it to be easier for me to cum with other people, and I’m wondering if this is something that can be achieved through training. The 3 times I’ve cum by someone else’s hand, they were all people I loved and trusted very deeply, and I would like to be able to do that with my partners regularly. In recent years I’ve been moving away from hookup culture and more towards developing deep, intimate, long-term sexual dynamics. I don’t care much about the physical side of things - I’ll often reach a peak in my sensation that feels similar to an orgasm even if I don’t *actually* cum - but the psychological aspect of having an orgasm at the hands of someone I love and trust very much is appealing to me. I’m a one and done kind of guy so I’m not trying to have super powerful multi-orgasm chains or anything like that, I literally just want to cum once.

I’m a submissive (24/7 collared but sex isn’t a part of our dynamic, so my Sir wouldn’t be an option for this,) and I’m wondering if tapping into that side of myself could help. I wouldn’t want to feel pressured into cumming by my partner, or like they’re disappointed that I didn’t, because I’ve been there and that feeling sucks. I feel like more gentle guidance and encouragement combined with a lot of foreplay, teasing and working me up could be a recipe for success. Have any of you tried this type of training? Even if not, I’m curious to hear from those of you who also have this relationship to pleasure and orgasm.

Hi friends, I posted this on r/AutismAfterDark because I believe this issue is strongly linked to my autism, but I’m also curious about what y’all have to say.

For as long as I’ve been having sex, I’ve noticed that it’s extremely difficult for me to reach orgasm if another person is involved. I have some difficulty making myself cum as well, but most of the time I can get there after working myself up a bit.

I’m not sure if it’s a mental block or a physical one, but I’ve accepted this is just how I am. I’m fine with it, it doesn’t hinder my enjoyment of sex and it actually increases my stamina in most cases. But I’ve had partners in the past feel inadequate due to their inability to make me cum, even though it has nothing to do with them. For a while I would just lie and say I’d cum when I hadn’t, but I’ve stopped doing that cause it makes me feel shitty and it’s not fair to my partners either.

I would like for it to be easier for me to cum with other people, and I’m wondering if this is something that can be achieved through training. The 3 times I’ve cum by someone else’s hand, they were all people I loved and trusted very deeply, and I would like to be able to do that with my partners regularly. In recent years I’ve been moving away from hookup culture and more towards developing deep, intimate, long-term sexual dynamics. I don’t care much about the physical side of things - I’ll often reach a peak in my sensation that feels similar to an orgasm even if I don’t *actually* cum - but the psychological aspect of having an orgasm at the hands of someone I love and trust very much is appealing to me. I’m a one and done kind of guy so I’m not trying to have super powerful multi-orgasm chains or anything like that, I literally just want to cum once.

I’m a submissive (24/7 collared but sex isn’t a part of our dynamic, so my Sir wouldn’t be an option for this,) and I’m wondering if tapping into that side of myself could help. I wouldn’t want to feel pressured into cumming by my partner, or like they’re disappointed that I didn’t, because I’ve been there and that feeling sucks. I feel like more gentle guidance and encouragement combined with a lot of foreplay, teasing and working me up could be a recipe for success. Have any of you tried this type of training? Even if not, I’m curious to hear from those of you who also have this relationship to pleasure and orgasm.

Hi friends!

I want to get my Sir something for his birthday, coming up next month. I want something unique and personal. In the past I’ve bought him a paddle which he loves, but I’m steering clear of buying him toys or gear as we already have a lot and he hasn’t expressed wanting a specific toy, like he did with the paddle I got him. Last year for his birthday I got us matching bronze beetle figurines, so that he can have something to carry with him that reminds him of me. He really enjoyed that and thought it was sweet.

I was thinking of something he can wear, maybe matching with me. We have a handler/pup dynamic and I thought it would be cute to lean into that with something personalized. He’s also a pup himself. We are 24/7 and I’ve been collared by him for over a year. Our dynamic is very loving and he’s my caretaker, but he struggles to accept care sometimes so I am thinking of getting a gift that will encourage him to take care of himself, maybe a massage voucher or something.

What gifts have you all gotten your Dominants that aren’t directly BDSM related?

I’m just curious, since most of the posts I see here are from either female subs with male Doms or male subs with female Dommes. I’ll occasionally see posts by queer people but rarely ever see discussion of Leather culture or dynamics. I’m in a 24/7 Sir/boy dynamic, and while it has elements from other types of D/s relationships, Leather protocol is fundamental to the structure of our dynamic. If you’re a leather boy or even just enjoy leather as a kink I’d love to hear from you :)

Last night, Sir, myself and my poly family had our family dinner. There was lots of good food and conversation, and I helped with food prep and dishes which made me feel very fulfilled. Sir also hand-fed me some cake and gave me lots of scritches and praise for helping with dinner. But my favorite part of the night was as everyone was getting ready to go to bed.

Sir got home from work super late (around 7pm, and his shifts start before the sun comes up.) As such, he was really tired and briefly fell asleep on the couch. As his husband was trying to get him to go to bed, he asked me if I’d sit with him and pull his hair for a bit.

I sat with him for half an hour or so, tugging on his hair and reveling in the little noises of contentment he was making. He apologized for his acne, and greasy hair, and lowered ability to interact, but I couldn’t care less about any of that. I told him to just relax and enjoy, and to not worry about talking to me. It was so wonderful to be able to take care of him in that way, and provide reassurance that all he needed to be doing in that moment is enjoying my touch and presence. Sir really struggles to accept care from other people, and I felt so proud of him for allowing himself to be cared for by me when usually it’s the other way around.

Fighting off sleep, he mumbled to me how grateful he was to spend time in my presence and be touched by me. Eventually I heard him start to lightly snore, and couldn’t help but smile to myself at how cute he sounded. Normally snoring is a major ick for me, but when he does it I just fall further into admiration and submission to him. After he went to bed, his husband and I cuddled on the couch for several hours which was so wonderful and needed.

All this is to say, real Doms are out there and you can find them! I’ve known Sir for almost two years now and we’ve committed to staying in each others’ lives for the long haul. Every day i wake up and choose to submit to him, my devotion to him grows.