u/upsidedowninsideout1

It’s a phenomenon where time is measured differently based on relational velocity or gravity. It was posited by assorted scientists in the late 19th/early 20th century, but it was truly brought to the public consciousness by Albert Einstein in his theory of relativity.

For relative velocity, the faster you move, the slower time goes. The closer you get to the speed of light, time starts to stand still. Once you stop moving super fast, you’re in **the future.**

For relative gravity, if you’re in an environment where the density or gravity increases exponentially, time also starts to stand still.

Either way, you’ve traveled in time! Lorentz, HG Wells, Einstein, and Doc Brown would be so proud.

It’s theoretically how a time machine would work, at least to go forward...going back in time is waaaaay more complicated, involving wormholes and somehow not getting spaghettified in a naked singularity (naked people = good, naked singularities = bad).

So what does that have to do with an M4F post in a ‘scumbaggy’ subreddit?

It means everything.

Regardless of whether it’s an increase of the velocity (where we start feeling the speed and momentum of our mutual fondness) or the gravity (where it’s the depth and density of our conversations and experiences ), let’s make a time machine together. At least one that pushes us ahead to an idyllic future where the world (and seemingly most people living in it) isn’t so awful.

Since it matters, I’m well educated (with an advanced degree from a damn fancy and overpriced institute of higher learning), and handsome (5’10, 170 lbs, shaved head). I keep physically fit and look pretty damn good shirtless. People have called me a “hipster” in the past, though that’s not really a thing anymore.

I’m also goofy as hell and do comedy in front of (what could be generously called) crowds on a weekly basis. That’s definitely more in a “muppet of a man” instead of a “very manly muppet” kind of way. (The muppets are awesome and a profoundly accurate parallel to the world, but that’s a conversation for another day.)

I’m also pretty self aware, and most importantly, decent and genuine. I know there’s a deep irony in stating that in an ad looking for an affair, but that’s something that is very important to me. Those are concepts that often seem forgotten by some people. I’m proudly a throwback to a time when things and people mattered, and the default outlook wasn’t callous avoidant nihilism.

I want someone who shares those traits. \\\*All of them\\\*. I want someone who inspires me to inspire them. Excites me physically, aesthetically, intellectually, and emotionally. I want something based on mutual respect, attraction, challenge, and joy.

Yeah, how dare I have such high expectations for the type of person I want to risk this stuff with? Haha. For the right person, I’m not afraid of expressing all sides of me, and I expect nothing less in return.

It’s a lot to read, I know. I want an affair that’s like a porno directed by Wes Anderson or erotica written by Kurt Vonnegut.

So that’s me. Is that also you?

If you respond, start out by telling me about you, and what it was that I wrote that really resonated. :)

It’s a phenomenon where time is measured differently based on relational velocity or gravity. It was posited by assorted scientists in the late 19th/early 20th century, but it was truly brought to the public consciousness by Albert Einstein in his theory of relativity.

For relative velocity, the faster you move, the slower time goes. The closer you get to the speed of light, time starts to stand still. Once you stop moving super fast, you’re in the future.

For relative gravity, if you’re in an environment where the density or gravity increases exponentially, time also starts to stand still.

Either way, you’ve traveled in time! Lorentz, HG Wells, Einstein, and Doc Brown would be so proud.

It’s theoretically how a time machine would work, at least to go forward...going back in time is waaaaay more complicated, involving wormholes and somehow not getting spaghettified in a naked singularity (naked people = good, naked singularities = bad).

So what does that have to do with an M4F post in a ‘scumbaggy’ subreddit?

It means everything.

Regardless of whether it’s an increase of the velocity (where we start feeling the speed and momentum of our mutual fondness) or the gravity (where it’s the depth and density of our conversations and experiences ), let’s make a time machine together. At least one that pushes us ahead to an idyllic future where the world (and seemingly most people living in it) isn’t so awful.

Since it matters, I’m well educated (with an advanced degree from a damn fancy and overpriced institute of higher learning), and handsome (5’10, 170 lbs, shaved head). I keep physically fit and look pretty damn good shirtless. People have called me a “hipster” in the past, though that’s not really a thing anymore.

I’m also goofy as hell and do comedy in front of (what could be generously called) crowds on a weekly basis. That’s definitely more in a “muppet of a man” instead of a “very manly muppet” kind of way. (The muppets are awesome and a profoundly accurate parallel to the world, but that’s a conversation for another day.)

I’m also pretty self aware, and most importantly, decent and genuine. I know there’s a deep irony in stating that in an ad looking for an affair, but that’s something that is very important to me. Those are concepts that often seem forgotten by some people. I’m proudly a throwback to a time when things and people mattered, and the default outlook wasn’t callous avoidant nihilism.

I want someone who shares those traits. All of them. I want someone who inspires me to inspire them. Excites me physically, aesthetically, intellectually, and emotionally. I want something based on mutual respect, attraction, challenge, and joy.

Yeah, how dare I have such high expectations for the type of person I want to risk this stuff with? Haha. For the right person, I’m not afraid of expressing all sides of me, and I expect nothing less in return.

It’s a lot to read, I know. I want an affair that’s like a porno directed by Wes Anderson or erotica written by Kurt Vonnegut.

So that’s me. Is that also you?

If you respond, start out by telling me about you, and what it was that I wrote that really resonated. :)

It’s a phenomenon where time is measured differently based on relational velocity or gravity. It was posited by assorted scientists in the late 19th/early 20th century, but it was truly brought to the public consciousness by Albert Einstein in his theory of relativity.

For relative velocity, the faster you move, the slower time goes. The closer you get to the speed of light, time starts to stand still. Once you stop moving super fast, you’re in the future.

For relative gravity, if you’re in an environment where the density or gravity increases exponentially, time also starts to stand still.

Either way, you’ve traveled in time! Lorentz, HG Wells, Einstein, and Doc Brown would be so proud.

It’s theoretically how a time machine would work, at least to go forward...going back in time is waaaaay more complicated, involving wormholes and somehow not getting spaghettified in a naked singularity (naked people = good, naked singularities = bad).

So what does that have to do with an M4F post in a ‘scumbaggy’ subreddit?

It means everything.

Regardless of whether it’s an increase of the velocity (where we start feeling the speed and momentum of our mutual fondness) or the gravity (where it’s the depth and density of our conversations and experiences ), let’s make a time machine together. At least one that pushes us ahead to an idyllic future where the world (and seemingly most people living in it) isn’t so awful.

Since it matters, I’m well educated (with an advanced degree from a damn fancy and overpriced institute of higher learning), and handsome (5’10, 170 lbs, shaved head). I keep physically fit and look pretty damn good shirtless. People have called me a “hipster” in the past, though that’s not really a thing anymore.

I’m also goofy as hell and do comedy in front of (what could be generously called) crowds on a weekly basis. That’s definitely more in a “muppet of a man” instead of a “very manly muppet” kind of way. (The muppets are awesome and a profoundly accurate parallel to the world, but that’s a conversation for another day.)

I’m also pretty self aware, and most importantly, decent and genuine. I know there’s a deep irony in stating that in an ad looking for an affair, but that’s something that is very important to me. Those are concepts that often seem forgotten by some people. I’m proudly a throwback to a time when things and people mattered, and the default outlook wasn’t callous avoidant nihilism.

I want someone who shares those traits. All of them. I want someone who inspires me to inspire them. Excites me physically, aesthetically, intellectually, and emotionally. I want something based on mutual respect, attraction, challenge, and joy.

Yeah, how dare I have such high expectations for the type of person I want to risk this stuff with? Haha. For the right person, I’m not afraid of expressing all sides of me, and I expect nothing less in return.

It’s a lot to read, I know. I want an affair that’s like a porno directed by Wes Anderson or erotica written by Kurt Vonnegut.

So that’s me. Is that also you?

If you respond, start out by telling me about you, and what it was that I wrote that really resonated. :)