Note: This is open for everybody.

Day 1 (Only folks who haven't been to a munch) [Finished]

Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity/s/6dqSNtzQOx

Day 3 (Only folks who have gone to a couple of munches) [Finished]

Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity/s/wp6XCVwJUs

--> Day 5 (Open to all) [We are here]

This is the last post in the series, we finally made it 😊. For the experienced munch goers, what can you tell us?

It's a new space here, I know how hard it is to get a subreddit going. Wanted to ask if it's specifically meant for Nordic folk only.

Being in the hypno community, I've come across a couple of people that did BambiSleeps. I find that their minds are much easier to hypnotize and much more malleable.

But I've never tried any of the BambiSleeps hypnotic triggers, I just added my own. I've been reading about BambiSleeps a bit more and it seems like it's an alter ego that's hypnotically built up over time?

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Questions

I have a couple of questions regarding it:

Q1) What are the long term impacts that it had on you?

Q2) How much of this is reversible for you? Have you tried?

Q3) Do you regret starting BambiSleeps?

Q4) How exactly do you go into trance with BambiSleeps?

Q5) How many hours a week do you spend listening to the hypnosis scripts?

Q6) Have you tried any other hypnosis techniques?

Q7) What exactly is BambiSleeps doing?

Q8) Does it effect your relationships with family, friends and work?

Note: This is ONLY for people who have been to a couple munches

I've talked to many people privately on their opinions on their first couple munches and have gotten a wide diverse array of responses. Unfortunately, I rarely see them posting their opinions in public. I fear that they are too scared to be rebuked.

But at the same time, we do need advice from the experienced members of the community to guide too. I've thought of a way to get both done.

Day 1 (Only folks who haven't been to a munch) [Finished]

Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity/s/6dqSNtzQOx

This was the last post and was an immense success. It's at +330 comments so far and the vast majority of people had never been to a munch.

Got a very wide variety of honest opinions. If you haven't given your opinion AND you haven't been to a munch, feel free to follow the link and add it 😊

---> Day 3 (Only folks who have gone to a couple of munches) [WE ARE HERE]

This post is ONLY FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN TO A COUPLE OF MUNCHES. They are still newbies, think around a max of 4-5 munches or 1-2 years in IRL bdsm spaces.

Day 5 (Open to all)

This is the last post in the series. It will allow the experienced members of the community to address any of the concerns and opinions brought up before. And it will allow the day 1 and day 3 folks the opportunity to talk directly to the experienced members if they feel safe and choose to do so.

Questions:

A couple of questions to seed the discussion, but feel free to talk about whatever you wish:

• What did you feel before going to your first munch?

• What was the thing that convinced you to go?

• What was your first impression?

• Do you feel that there were unwritten rules that you were violating?

• Did you feel welcome?

• What are the good things that the munch did for newbies?

• What are the not so good things that the munch did?

Note: This is ONLY for people who haven't been to a munch

I've talked to many people privately on their opinions on why they haven't been to a munch and have gotten a wide diverse array of responses. Unfortunately, I rarely see them posting their opinions in public. I fear that they are too scared to be rebuked.

But at the same time, we do need advice from the experienced members of the community to guide too. I've thought of a way to get both done.

Day 1 (Only folks who haven't been to a munch)

This post is the first in a series of three posts. For this one, I ask that ONLY PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T BEEN TO MUNCHES TO COMMENT. I'll post my own comment too.

Day 3 (Only folks who have gone to a couple of munches)

This post will be only for people who have been to a couple of munches. They can respond to day 1 folks, they can give their opinions on what they found.

Day 5 (Open to all)

This post will allow the experienced members of the community to address any of the concerns and opinions brought up before. And it will allow the day 1 and day 3 folks the opportunity to talk directly to the experienced members if they feel safe and choose to do so.

ETA:

I really can't stop you if you're an experienced munch goer and decide to respond to people here. But I would ask you very politely to wait for day 5. The only reason this many people commented was because they assumed this post would "only have people who haven't been to munches" commenting.

It's happened to me a couple of times and I've just now been able to pinpoint what was going on.

1. You meet a new sub and they excitedly become your platonic friend

2. You start building a deep emotional connection. They nurture you and try to protect you as well

3. Then they find out that you are incompatible with being their dom. It could be something like they learn you have a limit for a kink they desire or that your sexuality doesn't match up.

4. They then immediately stop being your friend. And you are sat back hurt and surprised, wondering what you did wrong.

What is dom-zoning: It's when a submissive pretends to befriend you, but they actually are courting your dom side. If you turn out to be incompatible BDSM wise, they will immediately drop you as a friend.

There is the crass form of BDSM that is famous. Oh you forgot to drink water, here is 15 hard canings. Did you just wink playfully, go write 500 lines while kneeling on rice.

And then there is the subtler, more elegant, more refined form of BDSM. Where all you have to do is gently caress your partner's thigh with a finger. Then lean in and moan into her ear slowly "I. Want. You." Caress her face, softly and gently. Kiss her, lightly and teasingly.

Tell her that she's been a good girl today and she is being rewarded. Most pleasantly. That you are sooo proud of her. Tease her body AND mind. Tell her what you are going to do her.

"Babygirl, I know you love to be spanked. You've earned it sweetheart. You're going to love it. How about getting that cute tuchus of yours over here and laying across my lap. That's a goood girl. Beg Daddy to spank your sexy ass and he will. Tell him you will do a good job taking it. Please tell Daddy"

And when you spank her, you can be light as a feather. Using only your hands, gently and slowly. Her ass barely turning pink. You don't need any more than that, her brain and body are so primed it amplifys it 50 times.

Across your lap, she completely surrenders. Letting go of everything. Listening to your voice. Obeying your orders. Living in utter bliss.

​

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You see, with the brutish and uncouth side of BDSM, the dom is forced to use loud bangs and smoke to dominate. Screeching like a bat, dumb rigid protocols, and extreme punishments. His swear jar so full, that he can actually afford therapy with it. But he won't go.

Contrast that with the softer side of BDSM. If you master it, you don't need any of that to dominate. She trusts you so much that she begs you to dominate her. She wants it, she craves it, she needs it. Your dominance is felt throughout, but never needs to be asserted.

You can be walking out in public and all you have to do is lightly squeeze her hand and then wink at her. She knows that's a signal that she is getting a funishment tonight. Her body immediately starts to flush. Her mind racing, her heart beating. "Oh my, what is he planning on doing to me tonight!"

​

So tell me there my dear reader: which dom do you think is the more powerful one?

> The one with the branding iron and anger-management issues or the one whose mere wink throws a submissive deep into subspace?

​

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Disclaimer: I had fun describing the non-soft kind lol. The swear jar part had me giggle all throughout lol. I'm just teasing the non-soft BDSM folk. I believe all forms of BDSM are valid as long as it's safe or consensual. I'm just a big softy who doesn't like the harder stuff.

These brats be on here helping each other and coming up with devious tips and tricks. We doms need to fight back! We can't be letting these brats think of us as weak and easy.

​

Doms, share freely with the rest of the domhood. What did you to get your brat to begrudgingly admit that you are cleverer than them?

On another subreddit I made this comment:

> Non-brats give off golden retriever energy. Fiercely loyal and submissive. Brats give off husky energy, fiercely loyal and submissive too but playful and intelligent.

> You also need to engage their mind. Do that, and it's a walk in the park.

And guess what happened?! Instead of accepting the generic metaphor I got an avalanche of brats replying with "nu-uh I'm actually a corgi -- cheerful, a little stubborn, with a wiggly butt". And another memorable one "I'm more of a boxer - high energy requiring alot of play time, strong-willed at times, orally sloppy, and always need to be touching my person. Also, the big brown puppy eyes and desire for butt scratches and spooning!"

So I thought of asking formally. As a brat, what dog breed fits you best?

In our patriarchy, being a man is tough. It means being a leader. It means taking responsibility for the well being of others. Studying and educating themselves to succeed in this world.

Being a woman is sooo much easier. All you have to do is find a man and surrender to them completely. Just turn off your brain and serve them. Your only concern is making your man happy and pleased with you.

And let's admit, it isn't hard to make a man happy. A cuddle and a kiss go a long way.

You gals are so lucky.

Your lovely brat is restless. They need attention so they've acted out. Your habitual line stepper has predictably line stepped again. But unfortunately, this time brat-icarus has bratted to close to the sun. And they need to be punished. Most severely 🤭.

The way you truly punish brats is by out bratting them. Let's illustrate this with an example.

Imagine your brat has a spanking kink so you say: "tomorrow you are going to be badly punished. 50 spanks, and you will need to call out each and everyone of them and thank me".

And just tease and build up the anticipation until then. Lightly caress their ass. Remark on what's going to happen to it. Tell the brat that they will get an extra 10 spanks if they guess the correct spanking element, but that you won't let them know if they guess correctly until tomorrow.

Drive them crazy fantasizing.

At the agreed upon time of the spanking, tie up your brat and blindfold them. Whisper in their ear that they didn't guess the correct spanking element.

And then spank the brat with a useless tool like a pool noodle. Something that makes a sound but does not at all cause any pain. Your brat will be confused.

This is when you pull their blindfold off and smirk and show them the pool noodle. Tell them that's how they are being punished today and that they better enthusiastically thank you for each "hard spank with the pool noodle" and count it out (feel free to use air quotes here).

If they try to say no or aren't enthusiastic enough in their thanks, then warn them smirkingly. You will spank them with a pool noodle for a week straight.

Question

Doms, what ways do you out-brat your brat?

We exist too 😤

ETA:

Oops, there is a way to set custom flairs. How embarrassing. Any who, any other bratty doms out there?

Howdy-littledo to you kind folks here!

When setting up play with a submissive, they have expectations based on how their previous experiences with doms went. I want to know if the kind of aftercare I need after a scene is something that is commonly asked for or not.

Domming puts me in a weird mental space after a scene is over. In essence, I just need reassurance that they still love me. That they don't see me as a monster.

I'm a male dom and our track record isn't stellar. If you've been in the bdsm space for anytime you've heard horror stories from other submissives of how they've been hurt and abused by male doms. I understand that. The following part is me just venting.

At the same time, it hurts me that in every bdsm space, I'm automatically assumed to be a predator. I'm the thing that attacks people, so I need to be thoroughly vetted to be protected against. New submissives, especially women subs, are protected, warned and nurtured. They are taken aside and quietly informed about all the harmful actors in the community. They are not vetted.

As a male dom, no one thinks to protect me. No one thinks to nurture me. Everyone is just waiting to catch me "slipping up" to confirm their pre-existing biases against me. I have to be constantly hyper-vigilant. With different people testing me continuously and then them comparing and contrasting their notes.

It's a bit lonely. And because of how society is structured, other men rarely know or even think about supporting you. Although outside of BDSM I do have genuine male friends I can be vulnerable with. Which I'm thankful, but they wouldn't understand BDSM.

I understand the need for protection, I really do. The power dynamic is definitely on my side as a male dom and I have much more capability of hurting people.

But I'm hurt about it being very hard for people to look past the whole "male dom" thing and seeing me as a person. I'm not a monster and recently it's hurting me deeply that in every BDSM space I'll ever be in, that's all I'll ever be seen as. Unless I spend months/years being thoroughly vetted, and even then, there will be an immense trepidation and hesitation by everyone.

I know there really isn't a solution to this. I'm just venting. It's the reality of what will happen anytime I join a new BDSM space.

I'm still a human and it's exhausting and hurtful to me. I think it's best if I take sometime off from BDSM and BDSM spaces and be in communities that treat me with love and acceptance.

It hurts me deeply to always be thought of as a monster.