u/ChefBigHaus

So I'd like some advice from the Dommes here on what would be the best way to go about with this problem. So I know that when I Domme posts a personal their inbox will get absolutely flooded with requests. And I know that a large portion of them will mostly be from fake subs and time wasters and people who just want to jerk off and get off. I usually try to make a good first messege. I'm not the best at writing introducing myself messeges but if they pose questions in their personal or anything like that I always try to include all that in the first messege. But I very rarely get replies back. Now I understand that this could be they read the intro and it didn't vibe with them and that's ok but I also feel like it might just completely lost in the flood of messeges.

So my question. Should I maybe like send a follow up messege as like a push notification to get my chat up to the top? Or should I just still stick to sending one messege.

I don't want to be annoying and if I do start sending another messenge it would t just be like "push" or something pedantic like that. It would be like a "I hope I'm not lost in the sea of messeges" or " just sending a second one just Incase mine was missed" or something like that.

Would appreciate some opinions from Dommes one what they would prefer to see in their inboxes 😊

Edit: Wanted to add this as a clarification of why I'm asking. I was just recently maybe a few weeks ago talking to a Domme on here. I managed to catch the post like 15 minutes after she posted it so ended up talking to her. And she told me an hour later that she was glad I reached out in the beginning cause I would of been absolutely lost in the messeges cause within an hour she got like 120 requests.

Hi so I'm not 100% sure how to categorize this advice so I chose the Other Advice Flair I hope that works. So I feel like I have a unique problem with cages mainly because I can never find someone with the same problem when I go looking for advice online. I'm sure I'm not that unique tho.

So I think my two biggest problems is my balls and the size of my penis when it's soft.

So to start off I believe I need a bigger ring size but I usually order the biggest ring size available for cages but they always end up feeling too tight or have a pinching feeling. Now the cages I am ordering are like nub sized usually. And that's because when I do order more normal sized cages although everything fits perfectly when I get soft I'm small enough to just slip out without any effort. I've slipped out completely in my sleep. I've bought like idk maybe 6 different cages at this point and it's usually been cause a Domme listens to what I have to say tells me this cage will work and then when I get it I have the exact same problem. Either the ring is too tight and it causes pinching and irritation but the cage size is perfect. Or the ring fits perfectly but the cage size is too large and I just slip out completely fine.

It seems like the smaller cages come with smaller rings and larger cages come with larger rings cause I guess penis size and ball size will go hand in hand. But I guess my balls and penis don't agree cause my balls are bigger and my penis when soft is just a small little nub.

So looking for advice not really sure what I can do. I'm not looking for "oh just buy this cage" cause that never works. Unless your Gona give some information or give me a reason why I should buy it or can assure me it's going to be different.

So I feel like more often than not lately every time I start to talk to a Domme I get ghosted. I want to blame myself however that just might be my own insecurities trying to stand out and I may not actually be the one in the wrong. I'm not too sure, which is why I wanna make this post and get others opinions. Below I'm going to share the last 3 text encounters I had with people as an example.

The most recent one I met a Domme online we talked for a good 6 hours on Sunday. And then yesterday we talked in the morning. Yesterday morning she tasked me with 3 tasks she wanted done. But I couldn't do them. Each one I had specific reasons for tho. The first task she wanted me to shave my chest I told her that I could do that but it would have to wait a bit cause I was at the beach Sunday and had a lot of sunburn on my arms and chest. And even provided a picture as proof. The second task is she wanted me to wear a chastity cage. So I told her I have issues with those. I have a few cages I own but I can never find a good fit. For this one I took a few videos showing proof. And she did agree that I was having issues. I did ask if she had any solutions I would be open to trying them and she told me she would have to think of some. (If you want to know more specifics I'll gladly explain in a comment if you'd like to help me with this problem I will happily take help). The last one was when she wanted me to go to a store and buy panties and film myself doing so. I told her I didn't feel comfortable doing that. Id be open to doing that with someone maybe but not by myself. Most kink related things I've only ever bought online. After these tasks were discussed we talked for another maybe 2 hours she then told me she had to take a call that would last a few hours but she would text me back later. I got distracted for the day and realized close to midnight I never got a text back so I sent her a message saying sorry the day got away from me goodnight and I'll talk to you tomorrow. I woke up this morning and everything was deleted and blocked.

I feel like I wasn't rude I don't think. And I was willing to try to complete the tasks and even provided proof when I couldn't. But maybe there's a different way I should have handled it.

About a week ago I was texting another Domme. Who after talking for a bit brought up the fact that she was married and her wife knew about things but wouldn't engage really in anything. I told her that I didn't realize she was poly and I had never done anything like that before so I was open but had no idea about anything in that regard. She accused me of not reading her personal she posted, so I went back and read it again slowly. When I saw that it wasn't mentioned I did send it to her and tell.her that. After she read it she apologized that she could have sworn she included it. I told her it was no problem. I then had to step away from the conversation a bit (was gone maybe an hour) when I came back I had sent her a message saying I was back and ready to continue whenever she was and that message and any after it have been sitting unread since then till now.

This one I have no idea. Was it cause I proved her wrong? She seemed like she took it fine and even apologized for it. But should I have just said sorry and not said anything?

Idk when this next one happened exactly but it was in the last month. It was a very short conversation. We had very similar interests and she was the one who reached out to me first. We had talked a little bit and usually in the beginning of conversations I usually do ask if there is a name or title you'd like me to address you as going forward. She told me she wanted to be called Mommy. I told her that I feel like Mommy and Mistress are both titles I like to use after I know a person more since I feel like they carry a little more weight to them. And if I could instead call her maybe Miss or Ma'am or something similar instead. She told me she liked Ma'am so I did that. We talked for about a half an hour after that point and she asked me a question and while I was answering her question I ended up getting blocked. I sent the answer and it told me I couldn't send the message that's when I realized I got blocked.

Was it cause I didn't use her preferred title? Should I readjust my own mind frame for those titles?

So yea I want to believe that I did the right thing for all of these. But I also have feelings that I didn't. If you have questions or want further explanation about something I don't mind going into further details but just didn't want to over explain everything and make this post tremendously long. So please I'll take whatever advice you can offer me. And also would love some help with chastity too.

So I feel like more often than not lately every time I start to talk to a Domme I get ghosted. I want to blame myself however that just might be my own insecurities trying to stand out and I may not actually be the one in the wrong. I'm not too sure, which is why I wanna make this post and get others opinions. Below I'm going to share the last 3 text encounters I had with people as an example.

The most recent one I met a Domme online we talked for a good 6 hours on Sunday. And then yesterday we talked in the morning. Yesterday morning she tasked me with 3 tasks she wanted done. But I couldn't do them. Each one I had specific reasons for tho. The first task she wanted me to shave my chest I told her that I could do that but it would have to wait a bit cause I was at the beach Sunday and had a lot of sunburn on my arms and chest. And even provided a picture as proof. The second task is she wanted me to wear a chastity cage. So I told her I have issues with those. I have a few cages I own but I can never find a good fit. For this one I took a few videos showing proof. And she did agree that I was having issues. I did ask if she had any solutions I would be open to trying them and she told me she would have to think of some. (If you want to know more specifics I'll gladly explain in a comment if you'd like to help me with this problem I will happily take help). The last one was when she wanted me to go to a store and buy panties and film myself doing so. I told her I didn't feel comfortable doing that. Id be open to doing that with someone maybe but not by myself. Most kink related things I've only ever bought online. After these tasks were discussed we talked for another maybe 2 hours she then told me she had to take a call that would last a few hours but she would text me back later. I got distracted for the day and realized close to midnight I never got a text back so I sent her a message saying sorry the day got away from me goodnight and I'll talk to you tomorrow. I woke up this morning and everything was deleted and blocked.

I feel like I wasn't rude I don't think. And I was willing to try to complete the tasks and even provided proof when I couldn't. But maybe there's a different way I should have handled it.

About a week ago I was texting another Domme. Who after talking for a bit brought up the fact that she was married and her wife knew about things but wouldn't engage really in anything. I told her that I didn't realize she was poly and I had never done anything like that before so I was open but had no idea about anything in that regard. She accused me of not reading her personal she posted, so I went back and read it again slowly. When I saw that it wasn't mentioned I did send it to her and tell.her that. After she read it she apologized that she could have sworn she included it. I told her it was no problem. I then had to step away from the conversation a bit (was gone maybe an hour) when I came back I had sent her a message saying I was back and ready to continue whenever she was and that message and any after it have been sitting unread since then till now.

This one I have no idea. Was it cause I proved her wrong? She seemed like she took it fine and even apologized for it. But should I have just said sorry and not said anything?

Idk when this next one happened exactly but it was in the last month. It was a very short conversation. We had very similar interests and she was the one who reached out to me first. We had talked a little bit and usually in the beginning of conversations I usually do ask if there is a name or title you'd like me to address you as going forward. She told me she wanted to be called Mommy. I told her that I feel like Mommy and Mistress are both titles I like to use after I know a person more since I feel like they carry a little more weight to them. And if I could instead call her maybe Miss or Ma'am or something similar instead. She told me she liked Ma'am so I did that. We talked for about a half an hour after that point and she asked me a question and while I was answering her question I ended up getting blocked. I sent the answer and it told me I couldn't send the message that's when I realized I got blocked.

Was it cause I didn't use her preferred title? Should I readjust my own mind frame for those titles?

So yea I want to believe that I did the right thing for all of these. But I also have feelings that I didn't. If you have questions or want further explanation about something I don't mind going into further details but just didn't want to over explain everything and make this post tremendously long. So please I'll take whatever advice you can offer me. And also would love some help with chastity too.

So I wasn't sure how to title this. So when people get really horny usually people want to fuck. I feel like when I get really horny I don't want sex per say but I just want to submit to someone. Like I want to eat someone out or suck someone off or get a spanking or anything really. Like submitting to someone just drives me wild. Like I just want to desperately give someone else pleasure and knowing I'm giving someone else pleasure will be enough to satisfy me. So I'm curious if anyone else is like that, that thinks of submitting themselves and not just pure sex.