u/Squeedoodle

Human Domestication Guide, am I right? 😅

I learned about it from a post I think I saw on this subreddit. Someone talking about how it kinda destroyed them. I figured they were exaggerating. I looked into it, read a few stories, and yeah, it's definitely hot. Went about my days, no big deal.

But I kept coming back. AO3 has a LOT of stories in this universe. And there's something to it that's hard to get out of my head now. It's not just the fantasy of hot space plant mommies owning me and not taking no for an answer, "for my own good." It's not just the condescending, humiliating, visceral ways they sexually use their pets. It's not even the fantasy of aliens coming down and annihilating capitalism with their post-scarcity technology. It's all of it, together, that has me actually begging the universe to make this real.

I HATE how much this has gotten into my head. I hate how I know I would barely put up a fight if it really happened. Nobody would mistake me for an "Independent." It feels pathetic, how much I want it. It's just fantasy, like any porn I've read, so why can't I get it out of my head??

And I won't see her for another three weeks still! I miss her so muuuuuch! 😭

There's gonna be food, fireworks, water balloons, squirt guns, and... well, and some vanilla folks, but he promised they're not the judgemental kind. Won't really make a huge difference to me, since my style of dress is pretty vanilla friendly on the surface either way.

I think it's gonna be fun! Do y'all have any plans for the day?😊

I was edging, and for a moment got so caught up in the fantasy of the porn I was looking at that I forgot I was denying myself. Got just a hair away from accidentally cumming before remembering to stop myself. It was the kind of edge where I had to actively fight down my body's urge to release, even after removing all stimulation.

In the moment I thought it was going to tip over into a ruin, I got so sad. I thought I was about to wreck three months of progress. I have to be more careful! 😓

When I get into littlespace, I think I try to hold onto some semblance of being pure and innocent. I'm absolutely not, I'm a completely perverted little girl. But I like to TELL myself I'm innocent.

So when I think about Mommy, I like to think of our relationship being very cutesy and innocent. I wanna hold her hand, and cuddle while we watch movies, and go on picnics together. Stuff like that.

The most improper I dare to think is that I want her to kiss me on the mouth, which is probably not something Mommies and their little girls are supposed to do, but I can't help wanting it anyway. I do feel a little embarrassed about it, knowing it's kinda dirty, but as long as that's as far as we go, it's probably okay.

So Mommy kind of throws a wrench in my plans when, every time we kiss, she sticks her tongue in my mouth. I usually squeal and try to pull away, but she knows me well enough to already have her hand on the back of my head to stop me. If I struggle in earnest, she pushes me against the wall and puts her knee between my legs.

She knows it embarrasses me, and she does it anyway! And once I'm flustered and out of breath, she usually breaks off the kiss so she can lean down and bite my neck hard enough to bruise.

It's so dirty and I love it a lot! 😣😖

I've been edging all morning to celebrate. I'm coming up on matching my record, just one more month to go! Then I'll aim to make it six months, after which I'll double my record with eight months, and at that point a year will be no problem! :)

And once I've hit a year without orgasms, I'll be truly confident calling my denial permanent. 🥰

Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. But I'm just tired of repeatedly being set back by these stupid orgasms I shouldn't be having. I just wanna get to the part where I KNOW I'm safe from them. 🥺

I can't stop thinking about being bound and gagged, over Mommy's lap, getting groped and fingered while she ignores my moans and tells her friend on the phone she doesn't hear anything.

Blindfolds me and tells me to be quiet cause she's trying to watch her favorite show in peace.

Puts me between her legs and nearly suffocates me while she's having a drink with her pals.

It's not like toys need to be acknowledged nor asked their opinions. 🥵

I promise not to struggle too much, and I'll behave myself in your trunk.

The charging cord for my vibrator has been fraying for a while, to the point that the wand would only charge if I kept it propped up and very still with the wire at a specific angle.

Well, today the inevitable happened. I started playing with my wand, the battery died, and when I plugged it in, no amount of fiddling could get the little red light to turn on.

The wand technically works, but without a proper charging cable it is useless. That wand is the only thing I'm able to use to edge (never mind cum... god I miss orgasms). My fingers can feel kind of nice for a little tease, but that's all.

My Mommy has the same vibrator, but I'm never able to get to the edge unless I'm playing with it by myself. Some kinda mental block makes it almost impossible for me to edge/cum around other people.

I guess this means that in addition to never getting to cum again, I now don't get to edge anymore either. The closest I'll come to even that kind of pleasure is Mommy teasing me. 🥺

There's a joke in here somewhere about little girls not being allowed to do unsafe things like have unsupervised playtime. Part of me finds that hot, but it's still frustrating!

I guess the silver lining is that in the past, my progress with going orgasm free was always ruined by edging too much and accidentally going too far. Maybe this is fate's way of telling me it's time to get serious about my denial. 😆

We had a blast! It was a little overstimulating at times cause there were around 100 people in what was essentially a barn converted into a dungeon. It was loud and crowded. We spent a lot of time cuddling on a couch up in the loft, or walking around outside by the pool. We also chatted with some folks we saw at the munch the other night.

But as the wild energy kinda simmered down a bit, we found our own energy to get into it. She had me laid against a Saint Andrew's cross, and beat my ass with various implements. The highlights were the threaded rebar, and her fists. She had these pretty black leather fingerless gloves, and she treated my ass like a punching bag. It was so good, like a really heavy massage. With pain. Delicious, delicious pain. 🤤

And now my ass is is turning such pretty colors. 🥰

Oof. The anxiety of going to a new place. Doesn't matter that I know I'll have a good time once I get there, surrounded by friends I know.

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Brain is just like, "But what if finding parking is hard? What if I'm early? Late? Can't find the group? What if there are too many people? Too few? Better make mountains out of all these molehills, just in case."

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Me: "Relax, brain. All of these things have been addressed by the event post, and your friends. None of these things are issues. You don't have to freak out about them."

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Brain: "Oh, okay. I'm gonna freak out about them."

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😡☠😤🤡👹😫😵😑

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https://www.etsy.com/listing/177758939/valentines-leather-collar-black-with-red

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This... this is my first collar! The one I got 12 years ago, and wore almost every day for like like two years! I wore it so much it started falling apart! Omigod omigod omigod I need to get this! This is making me feel feelings! 🥺🥺🥺

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[Doing my inhaler before bedtime]

Mommy: "Is it fucked up my immediate thought was, 'aww, how cute. She has asthma.'"

Me: "Haha! Aww, she's vulnerable!"

Mommy: "Aww, I can separate her from the herd~"

Me: *laughing harder*

[a day later, at work]

.... fuck. That's one of the hottest things anyone has ever said to me. 0_o

I spent Saturday night and most of Sunday with her. It was so good.

She made me wear double diapers to sleep in and then tied me to the bed.

She teased and edged me near constantly while we cuddled and she gently reassured me that babies don't cum so I just needed to relax and enjoy the feeling of being almost there.

She beat and punched my butt until I was a panting, trembling mess. She scratched my back and thighs with her nails til I squealed.

She bottle fed me and forced me to eat baby food for breakfast. Yucky pureed peas and carrots, which got all over my face and bib! 😣

She watched one of my favorite porn videos with me and teased me about wanting to be the cute little girl getting played with in it.

She napped with me when we were both too exhausted to do anything else.

My work is giving its employees free tickets to Six Flags in August, and I asked if she wanted to come with me. She agreed, though laughed and asked what we would tell my coworkers. I said I'd probably just say she's my girlfriend. She agreed that made sense to keep it simple (polyamory can be awkward around normies). I said I'd say it whether it's true or not, but I'd like it to be true.

We're taking it slow for now, but... we're exploring... dating? Each other??

Mommy 🥰

I had a dream my roommate came into my room (something she never does) at 6am. She stood over my bed and threw a single washcloth onto my face, and announced "I need this washed, now."

My reaction was to grumble "can you maybe wait to ask me after I've gotten out of bed?"

After waking up and considering it, I think my reaction would have been very different if it had been my Domme doing it. 😅

On Saturday I'm gonna sleep over at my friend's place. The friend I've lately been calling Mommy. I'm not yet ready to call her *my* Mommy. But the way things have been going, we might soon have that conversation. 👀

Needless to say I'm excited. 😁

I used to date an older woman who would regularly discipline me with her paddle. One of the many things that would get me in trouble and back over her knee was saying "no." She would constantly remind me I wasn't allowed to say that to her (safewords not withstanding). She would often corner me with embarrassing or scary questions with only one right answer, so I would blurt out an embarrassed, "NO!" immediately followed by a defeated, "I mean, yes.."

It gets me so wet thinking about that kind of coercive behavior modification. I like to imagine all kinds of substitutions, and it gets me especially desperate thinking about being conditioned into instinctively saying the substitution instead.

No --> Yes please!

Stop --> More please!

It hurts --> It feels so good!

I don't like that --> I love it!

That's too embarassing --> That's so fun!

What are some other good ones?

I like vegetables 😋

Broccoli? Brussels sprouts? Asparagus? Delicious!!

Peas can go to hell, though.