I love my mommy so much she has brought so much happiness into my life. Being with her makes me feel so safe comfortable and loved. She fully accepts me and that means so much to me. I love spending time with her, she’s the bestest mommy ever and she even remembers my stuffies names and we even rp with them too. Just typing this is making me cry happy tears I don’t know what I’d do without her, I wanna show and tell her how much I love and appreciate her everyday.

Every time she texts me my heart flutters and I feel all happy and warm inside. These feelings are very new to me but I’m so glad it’s with her. She’s my mommy, my queen, my heart, my soul, she’s my everything and I love her with my whole mind, heart, body and soul. Mommy if you’re reading this I want you to know that I love you so much and you mean the world to me, you’ve taught me so much including how to love myself and I’m forever grateful that I have you. MY BESTEST MOMMY EVER🥹🥰

This is ‘Part 2’ of my guide for Littles looking for a Mommy. See Part 1 (first guide) here.

The first guide was a standalone thing, focusing on initial communications, verification and meeting safely. But, u/TranscendModels suggested a “guide on how to attract a potential mommy”, which has been slowly cooking as an idea in my head for a little while.

So, here we are. How do we get a Mommy’s attention?

Age Regression (AR) vs MdLg

I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out, at this stage, we need to somewhat separate AR from MdlG.

Some of you aren’t looking for this ‘type of Mommy.’ This guide is written for those who want a caregiver or dom or partner who also usually has some sort of sex or kink dynamic with them, usually as part of a loving relationship or deep friendship.

Perhaps an oversimplification but for our purposes AR with a caregiver, is something standalone and separate to sex and relationships. Some have a caregiver who is not a partner. In other words, it’s the ‘SFW version of this’. Is this you? Head over to r / ageregression, who can help. And disregard most of the rest of this guide.

Spectrum of Mommy/Little

Not all Mommy’s and Littles are the same. It’s easy to be ‘biased’ towards our own desires and project them on to others.

Before really looking, have a fleshed out idea in your head of what you’re looking for. Be able to enunciate and communicate that idea, and recognise it when others are talking about what they are looking for.

Some are looking for daytime loving, fun playful, caregiving with night time vanilla sex, some are looking for a strong disciplinarian dynamics and TPE with a ton of rules, some want to have diapers and change/be changed, some want over the top bratting, some are/want good little angels who always behave. Some want all of this at different times, or something else entirely. Do you want Mommy in the bedroom only with a fairly vanilla day life? What do you want?

Tangentially related to this, you don’t have to decide your “little age” but good to appreciate and understand if you’re a ‘baby’, ‘little’ or ‘middle.’ Some can ‘switch’ between all three. A future Mommy may ask, we usually have a strong preference. I personally couldn’t be a Mommy to a baby, so I’d need to know that pretty quickly so as not to disappoint later.

Also good to know whether you want something monogamous, or do you both want to be polyamorous? Being poly is very common so make it clear if you are looking for monogamy.

And lastly; are you both looking for something long term?

Reddit: Writing a personal

So, because we’re here, on Reddit, and I met my Little here, I would always recommend a good solid personal. It does work sometimes. You can read and respond to others adverts, or ideally, write your own.

Remember to be clear about what you want, and what you’re willing to do for Mommy. That applies when you’re either writing a personal or who you’d like to message if you’re reading personals.

Don’t use AI to write personals (or messages). It’s not just obvious that it’s AI, you’re sabotaging any connection you make. Would you let someone else talk for you, represent you? Please, just be you.

Reddit: Where can I look?

There are a lot of subreddits, some more obvious than others.

r/mdlgpersonals - the gold standard 😊
r/BDSMpersonals
r/BDSMpersonalsUK - where I met my little
r/BDSMPersonalsEU
r/BDSMpersonalAustralia
r/cgandlittlematchgroup - very vanilla
r/cglpersonals
r/abdlpersonals
r/Mommydompersonals
r/femdompersonals
r/flrdating
r/femaledommepersonals
r/truemommydompersonals
r/gentlefemdomr4r - very vanilla
r/adultnursingpersonals - tangentially

With the exception of r/mdlgpersonals, most of these are subreddits with/for people of all genders. So don’t forget to be clear.

If you haven’t - read and apply ‘part 1’ of this guide for interactions you have with people in these subreddits.

Avoid these subreddits - not linked deliberately:

r / ageregression - not appropriate for most; see first point of this guide.
r / dirtyr4r - yes it’s the biggest personals subreddit but it’s all casual
r / Femdomlookingforsub - paid providers only

also pretty much avoid any other subreddit with any kind of casual or r4r vibe (with one or two exceptions).

Munches & Events

Probably the best, or second best way of meeting someone is by attending an event.

A ‘munch’ (“a meeting over lunch”) is no longer literally a lunch meeting but is a general kink/bdsm/fetish event which usually has strict rules on contact and dress. They are social functions for meeting/hanging with others, not events where sexual activity is permitted. It’s not just for Littles and Mommy’s/Dd’s, but you will find those sorts of people there!

If you’re really lucky, you might be able to find specific MdLg/DdLg play parties in your area where caregivers and littles meet together; Littles play and Mommy’s/Dd’s watch and talk. Single Littles/caregivers are sometimes permitted, sometimes not.

Please don’t be scared of either of these types of event. On the caveat they are well organise and attended they are usually very safe. It was the ‘first time’ of everyone there once

If you want to attract attention as a Little, absolutely look your cutest. Whatever your style; pretty in pink or floral dresses, with all of the bows and colours and accessories. That will always be okay at a munch. Always worth wearing some sort of signifier you’re LGBT like a pin badge too. Give people visual cues.

You might want to consider wearing a day-collar (a collar which is appropriate to be worn in public), but, like a wedding ring, it might cause someone to think you are already taken.

You can find events like these advertised on adult social networks like FetLife and Collarspace. You may also find things linked on special forums like LittleSpaceOnline.

These sorts of events are sometimes free, but usually you have to pay a small amount of money for entry as the organiser has to hire a bar or hall or another ordinarily vanilla venue to host.

Adult Clubs

Similarly to Events/Munches, you could just turn up at an ‘adult club’. You’ll find them marketed as spa’s, swing clubs, sex clubs, fetish clubs.

This is.. not ideal, but I suggest it only as I’ve genuinely heard of Littles meeting DD’s and genuine romantic relationships blossoming from chance encounters in such places.

These places will sometimes have ‘female only’ days or events, which make them more attractive as a proposition.

Rules will vary, but sexual contact is usually permitted openly’ish and these places range from the upmarket pro-BDSM-dungeon types to slightly more sordid meat-markets (urgh). Aim for more of the first type, something with a bar and lounges too where you can actually meet and talk to people.

Sexual activity may be permitted. Maybe the place has a cool spanking bench you even fancy someone giving you a trial-spanking. But you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. My advice would be use these places to meet alternative people and network.

You will find these places indexed and reviewed on swingers websites like SDC and Fabs (UK). I’m a bit reticent to give full names/links but you can Google, if this is for you.

Honestly though, this is for strong, flirty, confident Middles only who can negotiate and navigate that environment; happy to say “no” to loads of guys. Anyone with a low little age, lacking confidence or with mental health problems should avoid, avoid, avoid these places.

Organically

Probably the hardest way to meet someone, but it could happen. The best way, if it does happen.

It’s probably only going to happen if you are just a ‘little’ overt about it. Integrate being Little into your style as much as possible within the confines of your vanilla life.

Sprinkle that you like colouring, baking or other SFW activities into conversations with people you flirt with. Confident, striking, power-women who make you melt. Helpful if you know they are into women too!

If you’re looking as cute as a button; wearing a rainbow pin badge, have bows in your hair and are fawning, it will be obvious to them if they’re into it!

Dating Apps

I almost want to say hard avoid but inevitably, people will turn to them.

Their ‘freemium’ nature and algorithms are designed to keep matches from you, making them generally bad.

Just avoid Tinder. Even Bumble has had its day, in my opinion.

On the better side of things there is:

Feeld - Specifically aimed at alternative lifestyles, kinks and fetishes. A couple people I know have said this was worth paying for. Big focus on non-monogamy though, if you’re looking for monogamy be super clear.

Hinge - another one of the ‘better’ ones, more LGBTQ friendly.

Other social networks

Look, you can try to meet people off X/Twitter, TikTok or Insta, but all of the above are better options. Frankly, I don’t think you should waste your time.

Focus on online and IRL spaces where you’re going to be likely to find the right kind of people who are also seriously looking.

In closing - a word on statistics

Based on this original research, the ratio of Mommy’s to Littles is.. not ideal for Littles.

This isn’t just confined to MdLg; submissives generally find that finding dominants is harder than the other way around. More people in this world would seem to want to submit or seek comfort than those who can dominate or are able to unconditionally give comfort.

Remember these ratios. You want to stand out - the pool of competition is sadly, high. Always put best foot forward. Be the model good girl. Take care of your physical and mental health, develop your social life, look after your home/space, be a complete person ready for a relationship, ready for Mommy when the time comes.

Just a final reminder; please do read part 1/the original guide for handling your initial communications and meeting.

I’m no expert, but I’ve had a fair bit of experience and used some of the sites/apps listed here at one time or another, and have been to events and venues for this. I am Mommy to an Lg and I am a part-time Lg for a male Dd. If anyone believes anything useful is missing, let me know and I can add it. I hope you find this helpful 🤗

Love,
A worried Mommy

My mommy works in an office while I do part time work. But that doesnt mean we cant text our dynamic. She loves it when I tell her things about my day, like nibbling on my fingers and asking her for big cuddles with my favorite stuffie when she gets home, or about cute puppies I see when I travel around town.

And she makes sure I am behaving myself and taking care of myself, but I ✨️always✨️ am.

Sometimes I rlly do feel out of place especially when looking for a mommy or even just other little fwends. Most mommy’s/ littles r either into abdl or not as into the whole ageplay thing at all so much as the power exchange aspect. This is a bit complicated for mi (a am a perma kid) as I’m never rlly big. (Mostly to do wif mi age regression not fetish stuff) Also mi little age is 6 so I’m not into diapers or pacis ect ect like a lot of other littles. Obvi a lot of mommy’s aren’t into the whole 24/7 thing or mi little age cus it’s either too young or too old for them. As for making other little fwends it just feels hard to connect cus either they’re a lot littler or just don’t rlly understand mi mindset I guessy.  Does anyone else ever rlly feel like this? 

Could it be that a preference for BDSM or MDLG has some kind of connection to being neurodivergent? In my case, I'm AUDHD (autism + ADHD), and in my personal experience, the idea of having a mommy in my life (which I don’t have yet), is very comforting to me, because there are times when I get overstimulated or constantly lose my composure due to academic pressure, and letting my “little” space run free really helps me relax and feeling happy :))

I met a switch who is one of the most insanely clever, sweet and overall stunning people ever.

On a video call today I showed off for her and I didn’t think I’ve stopped blushing from her reactions.

She makes me wanna be the goodest girl ever 🥰

my gf has been gone on a trip since thursday, and perhaps it’s the distance or bc im ovulating but i need her BAD. i tried meeting my needs myself NOT THE SAME. im horny and desperate and in need of her quickly or i fear im going to die

We've only been talking for a week or two so I know I shouldn't care much or at the least it's not healthy to attach to people so fast but I'm very sad still. For context I haven't wanted to date for the last 2 years so I had time to work on myself and to avoid rejection as I don't deal with it well.

Recently I've been feeling more and more like I want to try dating again and decided to respond to a personal. She sounded sweet, we got off to an amazing start, and I really thought she might be someone who could indulge my little side, but something changed soon after and she became distant.

I cried for a while on my way home today --- ugly tears --- and i couldn't stop the stream. It's silly but I feel like I chronically put a lot into people and don't get much out. When I'm interested in someone I put in my all. I text each morning and night. I check in throughout the day. I ask about their life. I make their birthday the most special day theyve ever had spending all night baking and taking them on extravagant trips. Yet I still never get questions about me... or people taking time to learn what I enjoy in life as I do with them... Or even to be told happy birthday like when I was with my ex.

My friend thinks that's because I attract the wrong people. My brain tells me it's because I'm undeserving. Maybe there's some middle ground or triangular point wholly removed from those two ideas that's more true, who knows. I wonder sometimes if searching for a partner in person is wiser. I just don't know what I would do if it got out that I use a pacifier sometimes considering the high profile career I look to lead.

I know I shouldn't have cared but I did. It reopened a wound Ive patched and sewn over years and it's festering. I don't want any of this to come off as begging for pity as it really is ok this happened. Its an inevitable part of dating and frankly she did the right thing when the time arrived yet it doesn't make me any less sad that I wasn't the one chosen. I only hope next time I will fare better in life's dealings.

So almost 3 weeks ago I posted this: https://www.reddit.com/r/MDLGcommunity/s/jf7NLtJXqf (it was how I was ghosted by my mommy)

After giving myself some time to heal (a week, I know it’s bad). I reached out to a mommy I had previously had a relationship with, it didn’t end badly at all she just had some situations change and couldn’t be as attentive as she wanted to be.

We started talking again and had planned to reenter a relationship, just it would look a bit different, all the kinks (lol) weren’t quite worked out. Well she ghosted me as well. It’s been over a week and I’ve texted her a few times and I’ve heard nothing.

I know I said this previously but I really think it’s a sign to take a break looking for a mommy, and I wonder why my mental health isn’t doing well.

Any virtual hugs would be much appreciated:)

I dunno, I feel like it would make my day easier if I could give the little guy a cuddle now and then. I often end up missing him after only a couple hours apart, and it would help me cope with the monotony.

The strange part is I didn't used to sleep with a stuffie. I've had plenty of them for years, and would sometimes put a couple in my bed, only to later stop when they just kinda felt in the way. Only since moving into a new place last February have I started keeping one (my bunny Jeremy) in bed with me. We stay cuddled together all night. He also comes to parties with me to help me stay calm in the crowds.

Sadly, he has to stay home when I work. Not only do I not particularly want to be known to my coworkers as the "adult" who carries a stuffed animal around, but also I work in a Controlled Environment Room where I wouldn't be allowed to bring him in.

But when I'm there I just miss my bunny! 😭

Just need someone to tell me I am doing s good job.

Tell me I'm good for going to work, for making myself breakfast and taking my meds.

Gently push me to do my laundry and rub my stomach to ease the menstrual cramps I am feeling.

Tell me i did good by visiting family instead of isolating yesterday.

I am trying. I am trying so hard. Just give me credit for not allowing myself to spiral.