This is ‘Part 2’ of my guide for Littles looking for a Mommy. See Part 1 (first guide) here.

The first guide was a standalone thing, focusing on initial communications, verification and meeting safely. But, u/TranscendModels suggested a “guide on how to attract a potential mommy”, which has been slowly cooking as an idea in my head for a little while.

So, here we are. How do we get a Mommy’s attention?

Age Regression (AR) vs MdLg

I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out, at this stage, we need to somewhat separate AR from MdlG.

Some of you aren’t looking for this ‘type of Mommy.’ This guide is written for those who want a caregiver or dom or partner who also usually has some sort of sex or kink dynamic with them, usually as part of a loving relationship or deep friendship.

Perhaps an oversimplification but for our purposes AR with a caregiver, is something standalone and separate to sex and relationships. Some have a caregiver who is not a partner. In other words, it’s the ‘SFW version of this’. Is this you? Head over to r / ageregression, who can help. And disregard most of the rest of this guide.

Spectrum of Mommy/Little

Not all Mommy’s and Littles are the same. It’s easy to be ‘biased’ towards our own desires and project them on to others.

Before really looking, have a fleshed out idea in your head of what you’re looking for. Be able to enunciate and communicate that idea, and recognise it when others are talking about what they are looking for.

Some are looking for daytime loving, fun playful, caregiving with night time vanilla sex, some are looking for a strong disciplinarian dynamics and TPE with a ton of rules, some want to have diapers and change/be changed, some want over the top bratting, some are/want good little angels who always behave. Some want all of this at different times, or something else entirely. Do you want Mommy in the bedroom only with a fairly vanilla day life? What do you want?

Tangentially related to this, you don’t have to decide your “little age” but good to appreciate and understand if you’re a ‘baby’, ‘little’ or ‘middle.’ Some can ‘switch’ between all three. A future Mommy may ask, we usually have a strong preference. I personally couldn’t be a Mommy to a baby, so I’d need to know that pretty quickly so as not to disappoint later.

Also good to know whether you want something monogamous, or do you both want to be polyamorous? Being poly is very common so make it clear if you are looking for monogamy.

And lastly; are you both looking for something long term?

Reddit: Writing a personal

So, because we’re here, on Reddit, and I met my Little here, I would always recommend a good solid personal. It does work sometimes. You can read and respond to others adverts, or ideally, write your own.

Remember to be clear about what you want, and what you’re willing to do for Mommy. That applies when you’re either writing a personal or who you’d like to message if you’re reading personals.

Don’t use AI to write personals (or messages). It’s not just obvious that it’s AI, you’re sabotaging any connection you make. Would you let someone else talk for you, represent you? Please, just be you.

Reddit: Where can I look?

There are a lot of subreddits, some more obvious than others.

r/mdlgpersonals - the gold standard 😊
r/BDSMpersonals
r/BDSMpersonalsUK - where I met my little
r/BDSMPersonalsEU
r/BDSMpersonalAustralia
r/cgandlittlematchgroup - very vanilla
r/cglpersonals
r/abdlpersonals
r/Mommydompersonals
r/femdompersonals
r/flrdating
r/femaledommepersonals
r/truemommydompersonals
r/gentlefemdomr4r - very vanilla
r/adultnursingpersonals - tangentially

With the exception of r/mdlgpersonals, most of these are subreddits with/for people of all genders. So don’t forget to be clear.

If you haven’t - read and apply ‘part 1’ of this guide for interactions you have with people in these subreddits.

Avoid these subreddits - not linked deliberately:

r / ageregression - not appropriate for most; see first point of this guide.
r / dirtyr4r - yes it’s the biggest personals subreddit but it’s all casual
r / Femdomlookingforsub - paid providers only

also pretty much avoid any other subreddit with any kind of casual or r4r vibe (with one or two exceptions).

Munches & Events

Probably the best, or second best way of meeting someone is by attending an event.

A ‘munch’ (“a meeting over lunch”) is no longer literally a lunch meeting but is a general kink/bdsm/fetish event which usually has strict rules on contact and dress. They are social functions for meeting/hanging with others, not events where sexual activity is permitted. It’s not just for Littles and Mommy’s/Dd’s, but you will find those sorts of people there!

If you’re really lucky, you might be able to find specific MdLg/DdLg play parties in your area where caregivers and littles meet together; Littles play and Mommy’s/Dd’s watch and talk. Single Littles/caregivers are sometimes permitted, sometimes not.

Please don’t be scared of either of these types of event. On the caveat they are well organise and attended they are usually very safe. It was the ‘first time’ of everyone there once

If you want to attract attention as a Little, absolutely look your cutest. Whatever your style; pretty in pink or floral dresses, with all of the bows and colours and accessories. That will always be okay at a munch. Always worth wearing some sort of signifier you’re LGBT like a pin badge too. Give people visual cues.

You might want to consider wearing a day-collar (a collar which is appropriate to be worn in public), but, like a wedding ring, it might cause someone to think you are already taken.

You can find events like these advertised on adult social networks like FetLife and Collarspace. You may also find things linked on special forums like LittleSpaceOnline.

These sorts of events are sometimes free, but usually you have to pay a small amount of money for entry as the organiser has to hire a bar or hall or another ordinarily vanilla venue to host.

Adult Clubs

Similarly to Events/Munches, you could just turn up at an ‘adult club’. You’ll find them marketed as spa’s, swing clubs, sex clubs, fetish clubs.

This is.. not ideal, but I suggest it only as I’ve genuinely heard of Littles meeting DD’s and genuine romantic relationships blossoming from chance encounters in such places.

These places will sometimes have ‘female only’ days or events, which make them more attractive as a proposition.

Rules will vary, but sexual contact is usually permitted openly’ish and these places range from the upmarket pro-BDSM-dungeon types to slightly more sordid meat-markets (urgh). Aim for more of the first type, something with a bar and lounges too where you can actually meet and talk to people.

Sexual activity may be permitted. Maybe the place has a cool spanking bench you even fancy someone giving you a trial-spanking. But you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. My advice would be use these places to meet alternative people and network.

You will find these places indexed and reviewed on swingers websites like SDC and Fabs (UK). I’m a bit reticent to give full names/links but you can Google, if this is for you.

Honestly though, this is for strong, flirty, confident Middles only who can negotiate and navigate that environment; happy to say “no” to loads of guys. Anyone with a low little age, lacking confidence or with mental health problems should avoid, avoid, avoid these places.

Organically

Probably the hardest way to meet someone, but it could happen. The best way, if it does happen.

It’s probably only going to happen if you are just a ‘little’ overt about it. Integrate being Little into your style as much as possible within the confines of your vanilla life.

Sprinkle that you like colouring, baking or other SFW activities into conversations with people you flirt with. Confident, striking, power-women who make you melt. Helpful if you know they are into women too!

If you’re looking as cute as a button; wearing a rainbow pin badge, have bows in your hair and are fawning, it will be obvious to them if they’re into it!

Dating Apps

I almost want to say hard avoid but inevitably, people will turn to them.

Their ‘freemium’ nature and algorithms are designed to keep matches from you, making them generally bad.

Just avoid Tinder. Even Bumble has had its day, in my opinion.

On the better side of things there is:

Feeld - Specifically aimed at alternative lifestyles, kinks and fetishes. A couple people I know have said this was worth paying for. Big focus on non-monogamy though, if you’re looking for monogamy be super clear.

Hinge - another one of the ‘better’ ones, more LGBTQ friendly.

Other social networks

Look, you can try to meet people off X/Twitter, TikTok or Insta, but all of the above are better options. Frankly, I don’t think you should waste your time.

Focus on online and IRL spaces where you’re going to be likely to find the right kind of people who are also seriously looking.

In closing - a word on statistics

Based on this original research, the ratio of Mommy’s to Littles is.. not ideal for Littles.

This isn’t just confined to MdLg; submissives generally find that finding dominants is harder than the other way around. More people in this world would seem to want to submit or seek comfort than those who can dominate or are able to unconditionally give comfort.

Remember these ratios. You want to stand out - the pool of competition is sadly, high. Always put best foot forward. Be the model good girl. Take care of your physical and mental health, develop your social life, look after your home/space, be a complete person ready for a relationship, ready for Mommy when the time comes.

Just a final reminder; please do read part 1/the original guide for handling your initial communications and meeting.

I’m no expert, but I’ve had a fair bit of experience and used some of the sites/apps listed here at one time or another, and have been to events and venues for this. I am Mommy to an Lg and I am a part-time Lg for a male Dd. If anyone believes anything useful is missing, let me know and I can add it. I hope you find this helpful 🤗

Love,
A worried Mommy

Just for some context: daddy is quite far away; we don’t see each other often, we’re still getting to know each other in terms of real hard limits.

Anyways,

I called him old. He is 14 years older than me, to be fair. I do not think i was wrong.

Also I called his spanks ‘weak’. This was probably a mistake. They aren’t weak. Oops.

I like writing stuff, I’m good at it. So the task he set me was to write my own punishment scene as literotica. He said we’ll do it for real in three months!? Just ratchet up the suspense why don’t you Daddy!?

I said if I set it in Paris does that mean you have to take me to Paris? 😇 I’m not sure he liked that.

Because I’m such a sado sometimes it can be hard to punish me conventionally. The only way for me to not enjoy it is for maximum discomfort, I guess?

He said “show me what you’re looking for”.

And so, like an idiot I’ve written and submitted the most brutal scene where I’m gagged, blindfolded, zip-tied and fitted with a spreader-bar in a stress position. Then he plugs my ass, beats me until he breaks the skin, pours ice cold water on me, writes degrading shit all over my body in marker, carves his name into my back (knives woo) and then edges me a bunch of times. And of course, I don’t get to cum. Then he takes a load of humiliating photos of me all fucked up and shows people/internet.

I wrote 2,077 words in 3 hours with no AI! He’s still not read it yet, he’s reading it this evening. Oh goshhhh what’s he going to think.

Literally I’m an idiot and already regretting it but i hope he likes it so much he might go a bit easy on me?

(He’s very intelligent, resourceful, equipped and experienced. He can make all this happen. We’ve done some of this before, but not all.)

Am I stupid? 😅

I remembered I previously commented on this situation before in someone else’s thread so this is kinda an update to something I posted before.

My (new) Daddy. Still weird to say. Bizarre circumstances brought us together and made us closer, best friends. Both in the past and very recently.

A highly abridged version is that he was unavailable, despite being perfect and polyamorous. But one of his two relationships collapsed - it turns out she’d been kinda “controlling who he spoke to.” He wasn’t.. allowed to let others get too close. He’s still with his other, primary partner who is lovely and we’re friends with each other.

So, Daddy, now a free man, asked if he could come and spend a few days with me to rebuild our friendship, and see what happened. Obviously I jumped at the chance. I couldn’t believe it, I actually couldn’t believe it until I met him at the train station. He was here, in my home town. I’d only ever seen him in another part of the country before. So weird.

Took him to my flat. He was in my flat! Sometimes dreams come true. Despite countless hours of calls, we’d never spent any time truly alone before except for hours snatched here and there. When I’d stayed with him before or met him in public, both his partners were around. I was about to have two days and nights just us. Shit.

We had the most wonderful couple days and nights. He took me out for lunches and dinners, he took me to the cinema (Minions & Monsters), he took me to the arcade. He took me to a dessert parlour. Oh my gosh. All my Christmases at once.

We had deep chats, intellectual chats, laughing-out-loud chats, pillow talk, talking while vaping in the rain at 3am. We had emotional chats. His ex had kinda messed with my head too about some other stuff.

We were in dynamic the whole time. Free use rules applied. I was thoroughly used, groped, beaten, grabbed, pulled, exposed and treated as his toy for the whole time. I bratted like hell too. And was still indulged like a little princess.

Oh, and he turned my body into a little artwork with UV hot wax. Just.. wow. I’ve spent the last few days in a dreamlike sub space.

I find it almost impossible to fall asleep in bed with someone. Even if I do I turn away and want my own space. The second night we fell asleep together, facing each other, me curled up to him. Never felt that safe before. Like a tiger with a cub.

I’ve never had sex and had an orgasm while thinking about the person I’m fucking. I always have to create a little fantasy in my mind. Not with him. Urgh. I think of only him when I’m with him.

He told me he loved me on the last day. I.. didn’t ask clarifying questions. Let’s assume he means as a best friend. We have briefly touched on the future and he seems kinda open minded. He wants to do the same again soon, at least. He seems to want to do all this date and cute stuff too. He wants me to keep messaging or calling every day, and I may call him Daddy.

He collared me for these few days, on the carefully communicated proviso it was temporary. It was ceremoniously removed just before he left. He thanked me for my submission, I thanked him for his care and one of the most intense few days of my life.

You know how sometimes fantasy is better than reality? Grass is always greener? “Never meet your heroes?” Nah. Not this time friends 😁

Even if it never goes anywhere further, at least now I know it wasn’t just a silly fantasy. He’s amazing. He’ll always be my confidante and best friend.

That was heavenly and so hard to resist. But I did. I did a good and just edged. That felt so fucking heavenly and soft. Never had a sensation like that before. I wanted to cum on that pillow like the axe wants the turkey.

If you’ve never tried it, I recommend it.

AMA, or something. Fuck!

It’s become very apparent to me that far too many Little Ones are so sweet and innocent that they often fall short of being able to vet potential mommy’s and establish the authenticity and intentions of people who message them.

So, from a Mommy, to all of you tiny babies, cute littles and teeny bopper middles, this is how I’d like you to all take care of yourselves.

First messages

A potential Mommy should have introduced themselves properly. That means, a nice greeting and some cursory details about themselves. A name to call them (other than Mommy), gender (do confirm!), age, rough location, relationship status, and either why they messaged you in particular or what they’re looking for. If they haven’t said: ASK.

Are they clear about what they are messaging for? Are they just wanting sexting, filling idle time or experiencing transient loneliness?

Make it clear that’s not what you want. You want something real, something longer term.

If they don’t do any of this, and aren’t responsive or are evasive to questions or clarity on any of this, move on and let them fall at the first hurdle.

Happy so far?

Great. So you’ve got a nice message, sent a nice reply. Let’s scrutinise their Reddit account. How old is it? How much karma do they have? If it’s a new account, less than a month old, maximum scepticism.
Have a look at their Reddit account and if it’s hidden, you can somewhat scrutinise their recent history by typing their u/ and ‘Reddit’ into Google.

Pictures

Call me old fashioned, but both parties should be forthcoming about exchanging a picture. This should happen within a day or two of talking. If they don’t want to show you what they look like, let them fall at that hurdle.

If you’re sent a photo, run it through Google and Tineye to see if it’s ripped from somewhere. Save and zoom in on the photo yourself to find abnormalities or AI artefacts. There are tools that do this but they give more false positives. The human eye and a sceptical mind is still more reliable in my opinion.

Ask nicely for a second photo, but taken immediately, just for you, as an identity verifier. Ask them to write something on their hand and make a specific face. The more weird it is (‘write aardvark on your hand, hold that to the left of your face and raise one eyebrow’) will be harder for an AI to generate convincingly.

Compare the verification photo to their “nice photo”. Download, zoom, scrutinise.

Is it the same person in both photos? Are they both real?

Expect to reciprocate. If anyone is funny about verifying, they’re a flake or fake.

Are they anywhere else? Can I get a number?

If they represent a real opportunity and want something real, after a short while you should be in a position to ask for more information to vet them. If a potential Mommy is not forthcoming about their socials, presence on kink/date sites, and won’t even give you a number to SMS/WhatsApp, can you see yourself trusting.. dating.. obeying this person?

It’s absolutely fine to vet and probe a potential mommy, caregiver or dominant. You want to be able to trust and submit to this person, and be utterly vulnerable with them.

Some people don’t use SMS or WhatsApp but if they will only give you an anonymous Telegram or Snap: fake/flake.

Find out who the hell they are!

I offered my Little my first name, last name, number, socials, even linked to public record information on me to reassure her of who I was before we met. Why wouldn’t someone give this if they expect a position of great trust? (if they want something IRL)

Even for online, you shouldn’t trust blind and should somehow be able to refer to elements of their real world life for verification purposes.

Give it time

Start chill. Be SO chill. Don’t give in to the lonely, don’t give in to the horny. Honorific’s are earned. No real Mommy should expect you to call her that from the start.

Don’t sext or send suggestive photos. If she does or asks for them; give a firm rebuttal that’s inappropriate. If she does it again, move on immediately.

I would go a far as to say make it abundantly clear: NO NSFW chat or activity until you’ve met or formally begun a dynamic.

Good ones will wait, horny li’l fake “mommy’s” will disappear.

Also, absolutely don’t trauma dump and disclose all your darkest secrets and vulnerabilities. It will only make you more vulnerable. I’ll say it again, be chill!

Live Calls

Great, you’ve been chatting a few weeks, moved on to SMS/WhatsApp.. thinking of meeting or at least being vulnerable online?

If you haven’t already it’s time to ask for voice notes, phone calls and video calls. These can be faked by AI but the longer they go on, the more you can usually notice abnormalities.

For video calls ask them to point the camera around and show you their place. If a video is ‘static’ and the camera position is fixed that’s highly suspicious. You can also ask them to wave their hand specifically in front of their face. Most AI face/change tools can’t cope with that.

Separately to this, if you’ve been chatting a few weeks I’d expect you to both have sent various photos to each other that aren’t of yourselves; places, meals, objects in the home. Do all of these photos and the details in the background verify their story?

Do you zoom in and discover the photo taken in the UK has a French sign in the background? Why do they have that photo of kids stuck on the refrigerator when they said they had no kids? Stuff like that. Be a little detective at all times. Try not to be paranoid but don’t miss obvious flaws in their story. It’s okay to ask innocent questions if something seems amiss. It’s up to you to judge their answer.

Meeting

Does their story make sense to you so far? It passes sanity-check? And they want to meet? Yaaay!

Meet in a public place. In my opinion a Mommy should travel and meet you in your city, the first time. Familiar ground makes you feel safer, and you can rush home if something upsets you. Also if you’re ghosted or catfished same thing applies.

Tell someone where you’re going.

Have a pre-set time you will check in with that person, and they know what to do if they don’t hear from you.

Ask questions and apply scrutiny. But listen to the answers carefully. It’s a first date, not your wedding day. You’re just getting to know each other. Be cute but don’t fawn too hard.

Don’t take anyone home on a first date or meet.

When you part ways, just be mindful of people following you. Be sure to watch them get on a bus, train or drive away in their car and walk the long way home.

A an addendum to meeting, let’s briefly cover if that goes wrong: if someone has to cancel once, with a little notice, fine. If someone serially plans to meet then aborts or gives excuses they don’t want to meet.

The future

People can show false fronts. You met once and it was great? Super! But always apply a healthy scrutiny to caregivers and partners in perpetuity. There are plenty of people out there who will deliberately harm you or accidentally harm you through negligence or neglect.

This guide isn’t exhaustive and sometimes good Mommy’s might throw up a couple red flags (eg. Reddit account age or maybe they don’t use WhatsApp) but if everything else is equal, it’s about the sum total of your vetting. It’s her job to convince you that she’s worthy of your submission.

Be guided by facts and proof. Trust no one, until you find actual Mommy and put your trust in her when you are safe and ready.

I sincerely hope this helps at least one of you. Stay safe girlies!

Love,
A worried Mommy

A few edits have been made to add detail and fix errors

Edit as I’ve had a couple messages about financial abuse: nobody should ever ask you for money or anything adjacent like paying for fines or gift cards as well. Personally, I’m a big believer that me, Mommy pays for dates. But splitting a bill is cool too. If she expects you to pay for her or buy her things, that’s not nice.

Dear ex-Daddy,

You were my world. For 4 years you held my world together.
I was not perfect, but I was a brat, and a little. And you knew that.
You never put any rules in place. You never followed through on punishments. I was crying out to be put in my place.
Maybe I never really submitted fully because I didn’t respect your meagre authority. You never even thought to put a collar on me, but you thought about it for other people.
You had all the kit, but you stopped using it. Even getting you to have sex with me was difficult. When I was right there in front of you. I’d made an effort for you. Even the house was clean and tidy. Didn’t I deserve it? Wasn’t I a good little and submissive?

And you wondered why I was sad. You wondered why I felt lonely. In an empty house all day, for you to come home from work and sit on your phone. I just wanted you to claim me. To feel passion for me. To make me obey you, and submit to you. You act like there was nothing you could do.

You even stopped setting me tasks. Naughty or domestic. Apparently I should have just ‘known’ what you wanted doing around the house. How silly of me, being a little and a submissive, to expect direction.

I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about the nice things, the good times. The little treats you’d pick up for me, the times you rescued me, the care you gave me after my surgery. The things you taught me, the spiders you caught for me, the smile on your face when we were happy.

Every night you gave me goodnight kisses, I will treasure that forever. The thoughtfulness you showed myself and others; one of your strongest features.

So why did you kick me out? Why did you abandon me so quickly? One minute we were there, the next I was with my parents. You never checked on me once. You cancelled the car insurance and didn’t tell me. I nearly ended up living in the YMCA; you wouldn’t have done anything.

How dare you.
How fucking dare you!
After 4 years, this is how you treat me?
You abandon me, the way I know you wouldn’t even abandon an animal?

You even gave me goodnight kisses on that last night, after the fight, as if it was all going to be okay. You even said reassuring things. Why? Why?

I’ll never understand you. 4 years? 4 years Daddy? And after that night all we get is a 5 minute goodbye? With the world’s coldest hug?

No step-down, no onward contact, no check-ins. Complete and immediate separation. And you think I deserve this?

Fuck you ‘Daddy’!

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Interested in how this community is made up. What’s brought you here?

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Me and my little/sub are experimenting with restrictions on her contact with others, mainly when we are together in public at the moment.

She must not speak to strangers or service staff. If they speak to her, she looks at me and I nod to grant permission, or I answer on her behalf.

In eateries and shops I just order on her behalf. It’s certainly making me pay attention and learn her preferences!

This rule doesn’t apply to her friends, family or professionals helping her or others (eg. police, paramedics).

However, all of this is a new one, even for me. So I’m looking for feedback.

Could we be doing this any better?
Is there a better signal than a nod of the head?
How would you expand this?
Do you like the friend/family/professionals rule for safety? any criticism?

She’s very consenting to this level of control. She wants to be sheltered from the world and taken care of, to orientate you with her mindset.

Edit: we are both F, I’m a Mommy domme and is an MdLg dynamic. Didn’t think this was relevant before but a couple have people have mentioned the gender angle

(Previous post)

Our date is tomorrow. We’re on the eve of something which feels like it could be so incredibly special.

We both seem so nervous. We’ve exchanged thousands of messages on Reddit and WhatsApp. It’s definitely ramped up and not down in any way.

Thank you for some advice given in the previous post. We will be following that advice to the letter (on smol bean’s insistence!) and using the physical gestures for when little is happy to progress things.

She still isn’t sure quite where we’re going to go, she might need help deciding tomorrow. But we have an area! And I’ve booked parking. And bought her a little gift. She knows, but what it is, is a surprise. Everything is ready. It feels like Christmas Eve, and tomorrow I might unwrap my present, my little-to-be, my girlfriend and my sub-in-training.

Please help me keep my cool. I’m so nervous. I just want it to be perfect for her. As anyone who read the previous post will know, she’s this innocent blank canvas with virtually no experience and I have to tip-toe this in a way I haven’t done before.

I’m so excited though. Okay, enough waffle from me! Thank you x

I really wanted to share this ‘little’ story as I’m so very happy. But also read until the end, as advice would also be nice.

I posted a personal ad in r/BDSMPersonalsUK last week, and I had a few responses. But one really stood out.

She’s a wonderful person. It’s still so early but I can’t help but think this could go somewhere good, somewhere long-term. She’s so sweet, so adorable, so submissive. Everything I could have hoped for and she seems to like me too. One day she wants to be collared, wants to be cared for all of the time. Honestly she presents as the person I’ve always secretly wanted but didn’t think she was out there, until I put the ad up. But dynamic aside I feel like she’s someone where we will just endlessly enjoy each other’s company watching box sets or playing board games. All the ingredients seem to be there.

This is all relatively new to me. I knew I wanted to be a Mommy Domme. I have some experience as a sub formerly, as a Daddy when I was younger and male (I’m a trans woman) and with MdLg as a temporary play dynamic, but I knew I wanted MdLg as a lifestyle, LTR dynamic, for reals and for my life. The time felt right to start looking for my next relationship. And so soon, I’m messaging this little bean every day, throughout the day. We’ve exchanged numbers, we’ve seen each other’s photos. We have our first IRL date in public, in London next week.
She hasn’t decided where she’d like me to take her but I’ve told her our first date can be wherever and whatever type of venue she chooses.

I’m not her mommy yet, obviously, but we’ve been experimenting with a few basic rules. A few basic bits of structure to test the waters. She’s really enjoying assigned bed times right now, and she loves being told she’s a “good girl” when she looks after herself well 🥹

She’s going away to see her friends this weekend and getting on a plane, so I wrote her a packing list as the task was making her anxious. It made my heart so happy to help her like this.

This is as much a celebratory and update post on the ad, as well as a request for any advice, any guidance any experienced Md’s, or even Lg’s can advise?

I’m trying to be so cautious about this, but also trying to make sure it’s fun for her, and for me, in the run up to meeting for real and establishing that chemistry face to face. I don’t want to be too forward, or too much, but we are both clearly after the same level of interdependency and intimacy.

How do you manage this, manage your own and a littles expectations in the early day to keep you both safe?

She’s obviously on Reddit, so she might read this. If you’re here, Hi smol bean!! 👋😊

I really wanted to share this ‘little’ story as I’m so very happy. But also read until the end, as advice would also be nice.

I posted a personal ad in r/BDSMPersonalsUK last week, and I had a few responses. But one really stood out.

She’s a wonderful person. It’s still so early but I can’t help but think this could go somewhere good, somewhere long-term. She’s so sweet, so adorable, so submissive. Everything I could have hoped for and she seems to like me too. One day she wants to be collared, wants to be cared for all of the time. Honestly she presents as the person I’ve always secretly wanted but didn’t think she was out there, until I put the ad up. But dynamic aside I feel like she’s someone where we will just endlessly enjoy each other’s company watching box sets or playing board games. All the ingredients seem to be there.

This is all relatively new to me. I knew I wanted to be a Mommy Domme. I have some experience as a sub formerly, as a Dd (eek!) when I was younger and male (I’m a trans woman) and with MdLg as a temporary play dynamic, but I knew I wanted MdLg as a lifestyle, LTR dynamic, for reals and for my life.

The time felt right to start looking for my next relationship. And so soon, I’m messaging this little bean every day, throughout the day. We’ve exchanged numbers, we’ve seen each other’s photos. We have our first IRL date in public, in London next week.
She hasn’t decided where she’d like me to take her but I’ve told her our first date can be wherever and whatever type of venue she chooses.

I’m not her mommy yet, obviously, but we’ve been experimenting with a few basic rules. A few basic bits of structure to test the waters. She’s really enjoying assigned bed times right now, and she loves being told she’s a “good girl” when she looks after herself well 🥹

She’s going away to see her friends this weekend and getting on a plane, so I wrote her a packing list as the task was making her anxious. It made my heart so happy to help her like this.

This is as much a celebratory and update post on the ad, as well as a request for any advice, any guidance any experienced Md’s, or even Lg’s can advise?

I’m trying to be so cautious about this, but also trying to make sure it’s fun for her, and for me, in the run up to meeting for real and establishing that chemistry face to face. I don’t want to be too forward, or too much, but we are both clearly after the same level of interdependency and intimacy.

How do you manage this, manage your own and a littles expectations in the early day to keep you both safe?

She’s obviously on Reddit, so she might read this. If you’re here, Hi smol bean!! 👋😊

Hey, you 😊 yes, you!

Do you long for someone to look after you?
Perhaps, your place is with me. By my side..

I’m a natural caregiver, who is first and foremost concerned with your safety, health and comfort.

It starts with me taking you for ice-cream, or a coffee, or wherever you’d like to go!

If we find we’re compatible, you’d be welcome to come back to my place to watch Disney and colour, as we get to know each other.

When we feel ready, we can explore other things. I’m looking to care for you, but I’m also looking to collar you, to own you.

I’d like to think and hope I’m intelligent, creative, adaptable and have a strong attention to detail. I can create scenarios and take you places perhaps you haven’t been before. This is too soon to talk heavy kink in detail, but edging/orgasm control, impact, sensory play and body writing are just a few favourites!

You will always be wrapped in blankets, be called a “good girl” and have copious head-pets and comfort afterward.

I’m familiar with everything you may want from all sides of a strong, genuine and enduring MdLg / MdMg dynamic. I would like to set you a bedtime, have you wear a day collar, have tasks and requirement; rewards and punishments for you.. but always respecting the trust you put in me. The level of structure I can design and create for you is only ever as good as your consent.

This is my love language. It would make me so happy to find someone I could indulge and care for, whilst they let me guide them and be a leading, strong parter as well as their Dom. I can be “Miss”, instead of “Mommy”, it’s negotiable for the right person but my position is very much of someone who gives care and reminds you to drink water, take your medication, eat healthily and not smoke.

In a relationship you would find me to be loyal, loving, communicative, practical and honest. My strongest features.

To trust another human being that much, means the world

If I may, let me hold your hand and we can explore together?

~~~~

A few housekeeping things, as I’m a practical person. You must be somewhere this side of the country. I drive and can travel to you, but I also have my own flat and live alone so hosting you is no problem. This is very much a serious and authentic personal ad. I’m looking for something in real life, not online. On that note please be prepared to exchange numbers, verify and arrange a date. A dynamic can easily evolve into an LTR. If we had a good time, and I didn’t hear from you after, I’d definitely feel sad, and I hope you would feel the same. I don’t ghost, I don’t let people down.

I’m only looking for women or trans women (pre or post, on HRT), not CD’s or similar. You must be younger than me (35 or under).

I’m unable to do ABDL/*very* little play. Paci’s are fine though :) Middles would be a preference based on my prior experience but I’m honestly very open-minded.

I would love to hear from you if this touches on something for you. Please message me directly or post a comment below.

H x