r/ChristianSexuality

Any other Christian women who are interested in women? Is it sinful? My husband knows my desires and is very supportive!

This is a hard thing to admit, but I’m hoping this is a safe place to be honest.

I’m a single guy trying to honor God, and I genuinely don’t want porn, hookups, or to use another person selfishly. But lately I’ve been struggling with how strong my desire for intimacy has become.

Sometimes I feel like I’m carrying all this tension and longing with nowhere for it to go. It’s not just physical either. I miss the idea of closeness, trust, affection, and having someone I can be completely open with. Someone who doesn’t respond with shame, but with understanding.

I’ve always heard messages about denying temptation and controlling desires, and I understand why. But sometimes I wonder if I’ve become afraid of my own body and feelings. I don’t want lust to control me, but I also don’t want to spend my life treating every sensation or desire as something evil.

I find myself wishing I had someone safe to talk through this with — someone who could help me process these feelings honestly and patiently instead of just telling me to suppress them.

For those who have wrestled with this, how did you find peace? Is there a healthy way to understand sexual desire and even self-pleasure without it becoming lustful or pulling you away from God?
I’d really appreciate kindness, wisdom, and honest experiences.

I saw a TikTok video yesterday of a young Christian woman who posts videos talking about sex from a Christian and Biblical perspective, meant to help educate young Christians before and leading up to marriage.

In the video she discussed the topic of anal sex in a Christian marriage.

Her position was essentially that there is no Biblical prohibition on the act of anal sex taking place between a consenting married couple, despite how many Christians have tries to hijack certain scriptures to suggest that it is sinful - which I agree with and applaud her for being objective and honest about, despite it being clear that she does not like or advocate for anal sex in Christian marriages.

Additionally, while she stated that while she thinks it is possible for a couple to engage in it, in a positive way that enhances their intimacy - she also strongly insinuated that this isn’t the norm and that very often it is the husband pressuring his wife into something she doesn’t want to do or finds uncomfortable/painful, because of his fixation on depictions of anal in porn.

I found this second part to be somewhat unfair, and unnecessarily critical of men who find anal sex appealing. While I fully agree that there are a lot of men who developed their fantasies and desires from watching porn, which is unhealthy, I don’t think it is fair to lump all men together by generalizing that their desires must always mean they are formed by perverse or unhealthy sexual habits.

I am a (single) male that has been very turned on by the idea of having anal sex with a future wife, for as long as i can remember. I will admit to having viewed it in porn, but i developed this fascination with the idea of anal sex many years before i even viewed porn for the first time. Porn did not shape my desire for it.

I think the topic of anal sex among Christians is extremely difficult to discuss openly because of the strong feelings associated with it. Even among non-radically fundamentalist Christians who have more open minded views, the topic is so taboo that they usually default to saying “theres nothing in the Bible about it - but we still think its always bad and that nobody should do it, and if you do want to do it, its probably because you’re a slave to your sexual sins”. Nobody ever wants to be the one to say “it can be good, it’s ok to want it and to do it as long as it’s done right and with love”.

TL;DR

Even today, most modern Christian perspectives on anal sex still air on the side of “it’s never good, even if the Bible doesn’t prohibit it. And men should feel shame for wanting it.”

What are your thoughts on anal sex within a Christian marriage?

Do you agree that it is something that is most commonly requested by men who want it solely because their desire was formed by their porn habit?

Jut wondering if you have any experiences iike that. I've had feelings for 2 women at church but haven't had conversations with them about it or acted about it, and don't know if I should

Do any other Christians battle with porn addiction and unwanted lustful thoughts/fantasies? I'd love to know what y'all do to cope

For the last few years, my wife does not want sex or any form of romance. She only desires to travel. We have talked about this. I have informed her that I still need that part of our relationship. She is just generally not interested. On rare occasions, I will perform orally on her and she seems to love it still, she still has orgasms when I do. As Christians, what can we do? I have no desire to cheat, but I still have needs.

I’m a 23 year old man been married a few short years and would love to discuss with other Christian couples who have been married longer the best ways to navigate sex and fantasies while also being Christian.

Its been 7 years sincewehad any sex at all. Masturbation is my only outlet, and she could not care less.

Please enjoy what you have while you have it!

I don't even know how to say this without sounding like a terrible person, but I need to be honest with myself. We've been married for 2 years, and even though I love my wife with all my heart, I still find myself craving attention from other people.

She hasn't done anything wrong. She's kind, loving, and she's honestly the best partner I could ask for. That's what makes me feel even worse. I know how much she loves me, and the thought of hurting her or losing her scares me more than anything.

I hate that I feel this way because it makes me question myself. I've tried to ignore it and convince myself it'll just go away, but it hasn't. I feel guilty, confused, and ashamed for even having these thoughts. I don't want to lose what we have, but I also don't know why I keep feeling like something inside me is still searching for validation from somewhere else.

Been a busy week. What can I say?

Mine has never. She thinks it’s disgusting. I grew up in a purity culture that never discussed this as a possibility. On here I see all sorts of it happening. Am I the odd one out? Am I missing out on something most others are enjoying? I’m 55 and guess that’s not happening for me at this stage of the game, but I am curious if it’s really that prevalent. And with what age groups.

I tried so hard to behave, but I couldn’t stop myself from being naughty.

And what is your experience overall in the church? Catholic priest here. Open to discussion about anything related to Christianity and Catholicism

Curious as to how we all ended up here? I'm in my 40's never married. I grew up in purity culture, so never considered I would be single at 40. I stopped attending church a few years ago but began to exploring my sexuality years before that. I love exploring my body and those of others. At the end of the day, I just didn't think it was reasonable for me to live a sex-free life because I was single. What about you?

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My wife is incredibly horny this week; she’s ovulating and acting just like a mare in heat. She throws herself at me, saying she’s ready to conceive—she wants me to be her stud, to bury my cock deep inside her pussy, thrusting hard and cumming like a stallion right inside her. She wants to be mounted by me just like a stallion mounts a mare in heat. She really does look like a mare in heat, with her little pussy slick and wet, fertile mucus running down her lips—that mucus capable of nourishing and carrying my sperm to their destination deep within her uterus to fertilize her egg and get her pregnant.

Does anyone else here think that when a wife is ovulating, she acts like a mare in heat—dying to be bred and get knocked up?

So my favorite stories in the Bible for sex is the song of Solomon second kings 14 Esther is a good one and Hoseah !

Hey guys, what are people thoughts on an unmarried couple doing mutual masturbation?

So many potential different contexts… would love to discuss :)

I didn’t grow up in the church but had a spiritual experience in college. By that time, I was no stranger to women. Now I’m 20+ years into ministry and marriage and I wrestle often with my desires. I’ve done some things. So, ask away. Preference to non-judgmental people.

Life is busy, sexually when moving through seasons of compounding professional and family responsibilities. But when an online faith-based marriage strengthening curriculum my wife and I were using suggested we schedule a specific, regular night to have sex, I was worried she’d think it was a chore or an obligation or just wouldn’t feel like it should move up the priority list. I was thrilled when precisely the opposite turned out to be true!

Scheduling our night to pleasure each other gives her time to build anticipation and excitement, and creates a runway for us to begin connecting emotionally before doing so sexually. Knowing she likes that time to prepare is a bit revelatory, honestly, but happily so.

We’ve had just a few nights of this scheduled sex so far, but it’s the best sex we’ve had in years. She even told me we set a new record for the number of times she came.

So for anyone apprehensive about scheduling out a set time to enjoy God’s gift of raucously orgasmic married sex, give it a try! It’s worth it, I can say now.