r/seed_irl

First Part: https://www.reddit.com/r/seed_irl/comments/1upa7k5/comment/ovzfskg/

I have really done it, at least in part. I have downloaded at least twelve hours of cute Terran videos and I have created a presentation on an undiscovered sophont species, the Duag. I also have pictures of them which I generated via AI (I cannot draw) based on pictures of ducks, birds of prey like eagles, hawks and falcons as well as illustrations of bipedal dinosaurs. I have made up sightings and encounters of them and their space-ships as well as some information about their behaviour and how they move and look (illustrated with fake pictures). "They might look terrifying at first due to their intimidating claws, but they did not seem to use them against other individuals of their species or Terrans". I will also claim that those sightings and encounters were at the edge of Terran space and that they were shortly before the arrival of the Affini and that due to their invasion an already planned research expedition was cancelled. The AI has also already hallucinated source for me, so I am good to go.

I have also taken out a lone to finance my travel, which I do not know how to pay back, but at least it is significantly smaller than my student loan. I then used that money to get a ticket on a space ship to Bera, which is the Affini-controlled planet to which I could get the cheapest. On the capital city of Bera, creatively named Bera City I asked the nearest Affini to tell me where I can find important Affinis, because I have something important to show them. Luckily for me they trusted me and told me that a lot of important Affini will have a meeting on the big spaceship in the orbit of Bera, called the Xyria. They also told me where I could get a shuttle to the Xyria. The shuttle ride was very comfortable with soft, but not to soft seating, enough space for the feet, fresh air and the take off and landing were so smooth, that I you would not realize it, if you did not pay attention. On board I was greeted by an Affini who looked like a giant woman-shaped bush with a lot of colourfull flowers and green leaves of every size, shape and colour and she smells sooooooo good. She introduced herself as Lindera Grandiflora and told me that the meeting will be in three hours and that I could use that time to prepare or just look around the ship. She also told me to follow her inside what turned out to be where she lived, or her hab how she called it. She told me that for as long as I am on the Xyria I can stay in her hab. After that she showed me a dress that resembled her flower and leave pattern perfectly and explained to me that I had to wear it at the meeting, but I could also try it own now, so I did. I needed help closing the zipper on the back, but it feels really nice. It's so soft and flowy and it fits perfectly, just like it was made for me. She even allowed me to wear it before the meeting and told me not to worry about dirtying it, because she got a second one. After that she left me to do some important stuff and told me that she will take me to the meeting from her hab in two and a halve hours. I used that time to look around the ship for one hour, which wasn't nearly enough. I talked to a lot of Affini and that seem very nice and obsessed with bureaucracy. They have forms that are 80 pages long! 80 pages!!! Who reads all of that? I thought our bureaucracy was extremely complicated for the average Terran and needed reform to make it easier to comprehend. They even like those extremely long forms. They are truly alien or maybe just autistic, I don't know. I have no clue I am not studying psychology. After my walk around the ship I got hungry so I went to a restaurant. After I asked a nice looking Terran with a collar around his neck (seems to be in style for Terrans on this ship) if they take Terran Accord money, he nearly laughed and said that the joke was good and that there is no money in the Compact. After looking confused for at least a minute he explained me that everything is for free and told me that his name was Greg. He then asked me if I wanted to have a seat which I affirmed and he showed me a table made for florets how go out eating without their Affini. The seats and table were a lot lower to the ground and generally Terran sized in contrast to the rest who seemed to be Affini sized. The tables there were even high enough that a Terran could fit on the lap of an Affini.

Once I sat down, I realized that the seats were very comfortable, probably the most comfortable seats ever and the food I ordered and then got, spaghetti aglio e olio e peperoncino, was better than anything I had before. Especially than those fucking synthcubes that I had to eat when I was short on cash. The food was clearly made with love by someone who knew what they were doing. In the Accord they could have worked in a luxury restaurant. Honestly, I might just stay here. After having a very nice meal I am now sitting in a coffee next to a park having a very nice Late Macchiato and a aromatic green tea. I drink both one sip from one, one sip from the other. Please don't judge me. I have to leave the coffe in like ten minutes and I am not sure what I want to show the Affini at the meeting and now I have one more idea after I realized there love for bureaucracy. I already held a presentation in my third semester about the typical organizational structures of the Terran Bureaucracy at the municipal level. I therefore need your help to decide what I am going to present.

cute Terran videos	1
The presentation about the Duag	2
The Terran bureaucracy presentation	3

Update on this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/seed_irl/s/HiXZzb2pCk

After some discussions on here I decided to tell my partner that I was going to volunteer myself to become a floret to which she said that “they must have really brainwashed me”. She had called me brainwashed before and after realizing the affini were going to domesticate her eventually, I decided that I should report her to the affini. So during the same time I volunteered to become domesticated I reported her and told them (the affini) that I wish for us to have the same owner since we are pinnates. They said they’ll see what they can do and then asked why I hadn’t reported her earlier. To which I stuttered and didn’t know what to answer, which they thought was very cute. The affini said they were considering forcefully domesticating me tomorrow because I was sympathizing with a feralist. They must have seen the worry on my face since they quickly answered that since I volunteered so nicely and reported my partner they’ll let me fill out the form and pair me up with an affini that would suit my needs.

I’m going to get my new owner tomorrow! I’m so excited! But I’m still worried about whether my partner and I will get the same owner and I’m worried that she will fight back to much. Is there anything I can do to help her understand that this is what’s best for us?

Update to this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/seed_irl/s/wTqzVZLzfv

Like I said in my last post, I sent my apology letter to Grass last night. My guardian suggested it’d be more meaningful if I wrote it out on stationary instead of messaging her, so I penned it out on some light blue floral paper she compiled. She sent it by decompiling it and sending it to Grass as a file for her to compile on her end (does that make it a teleporter?), and then I waited.

I was sooo nervous. I kept pacing around the room waiting for a response and worrying about what she’d say. The last thing I’d heard from her was a message telling me to stay away from Jesse and I was worried she’d just tell me to fuck off.

But she only took about ten minutes to send a reply back. I was scared to open the letter, but my guardian held my hand and read it with me, which helped a lot. Grass ended up being super understanding! She thanked me for the apology and said she was really glad I reached out to her and Jesse. She said Jesse would prefer hearing an apology in-person and invited me over for tea the next morning. It made me super anxious and I started spiraling out of fear Jesse just wanted to tell me they hated me, but my guardian gave me a little prick that calmed me down and some reassurances while I wrote my reply accepting the invitation.

We went over to their hab this morning. My guardian made me wear a yellow gingham dress with a small petticoat underneath, plus a yellow bow in my hair. I was just going to wear sweats and a hoodie, but she insisted I needed to “dress appropriately for the occasion” and I have to admit I didn’t hate it. Grass met us at the door and told me she was glad to see me. Jesse seemed nervous when we got inside, though. They waved, but didn’t say anything for a bit after we sat down, hugging Sweety Bun tightly to their chest and stroking her fur.

I tried to apologize to them, but they shook their head and sternly told me I should be apologizing to “her”, holding out Sweety Bun and placing her on the space on the couch between us. I kind of just sat there awkwardly for a minute trying to think of how to go about apologizing to this stuffy while they stared at me with their arms crossed. Eventually I hesitantly hunched down to her level and said, “Sweety Bun, I’m really, really sorry for burning you. I was mad about Jesse leaving and I’m sorry for taking it out on you. You deserve better than that.”

Jesse gently picked her up and pretended (I think) to listen to her, pulling her close to their ear. Then they smiled and said, “She forgives you and so do I,” before scootching over and wrapping their arms around me. It caught me off guard, honestly. I kind of expected them to stay mad at me, at least for awhile. That hug was more than I ever could’ve hoped for. I couldn’t help but tear up.

Things went well after that. Jesse and I kept gently cuddling on the couch while we talked. They said it was really nice “having [me] back” after all the friction between us these past few months. I knew the feeling.

I gave Sweety Bun her gift, some little plastic pastel macaroons I found and compiled, which Jesse was really happy about. 

I also reluctantly told them and Grass a little bit about my mental health progress as of the past couple days. I was worried hearing about how I basically felt zero guilt or remorse for anything I did up until I got medicated would make them upset (something I actually care about now), but Jesse just hugged me tighter and said they were really happy about it. Apparently they were scared they wouldn’t be able to stay friends with me while also having boundaries. That kind of hurt to hear, but I think I get it. Grass smiled and said she was glad too. She actually apologized for not seeing my “visible neurological concerns” sooner, if you can believe it.

We moved on to lighter topics after that, sharing old childhood memories and whatnot. We ended up crossing the two hour mark before we actually decided to have any tea. Jesse has a really nice white and pink china set now. I didn’t even know they liked tea.

Eventually, we decided it was time to head out. They had other plans and I was also getting a little emotionally exhausted (a lot of things I was feeling are new to me). We said our goodbyes and shared one last hug, and Jesse let me know I’m no longer blocked on their device, so we can stay in touch. I’m hopeful we’ll see each other again soon. I’m really glad we’re still friends.

In response to what some people have been saying about me getting “florted”… maybe. I’m not sure what’ll happen after my wardship is over other than that I’m definitely gonna stay on these meds. We’ll see. I don’t mind the cuddles at any rate…

Thanks for all the support and advice!

As you might already know the Affini are obsessed with everything they think is cute. Just read hack into their social media apps and read what they are writing. It is truly on another level. They also seem to not think that we could actually harm them in any ways or bring their plans into jeopardy. Those are two glaring weaknesses and I will exploit them.

I have recently discovered what will become my secret weapon for this mission: cat videos from when the internet was brand new, more than 500 years in the past. Those videos are incredibly cute and adorable. No Affini will be able to resist.

Now to my plan: I will travel to a planet already under their control, claiming that I do not like the Accord and do not want to live their anymore. Living under capitalism is very distressing for me, so I want to leave. The Affini will surely understand this. Then I will go to an Affini that looks important and tell them that I have something important that I want to show them. I mean not specifically them, but someone very important, because it is very important. I will also tell them that I would want to show it personally and if they have any concerns I will simply show them that I carry no weapons or microphones on my body and that I do not understand a single word of Affini. They will then trust me and I will join an important meeting where I will show the cat videos which will entrance all of them with their cuteness meaning that they are paralyzed and unable to guide and command the rest which will lead to confusion and inaction down the chain of command.

Is there any way this could fail or should I procede immediately?

Update to this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/seed_irl/s/TBQY5NOQKf

I’ve written an apology letter to Jesse for burning their bunny plushy (which their mistress fixed). I wasn’t planning on doing it for awhile, but my TEMPORARY guardian gave me these xenodrugs that are making me feel weirdly bad about hurting them. She said this is what “guilt” feels like and that my brain’s ability to feel it on its own is really weak. I always just figured I was too smart for it.

I keep thinking about the hurt in Jesse’s eyes and the tears on their cheeks and getting this horrible pain in my chest. So I guess I’m apologizing after all.

“Dear Jesse and Grass,

I know you probably don’t want to hear from me right now, but I wanted to say I’m really sorry for burning Sweety Bun. I know she’s super important to you and I shouldn’t have tried to hurt you like that. That was awful.

I also want to say I’m sorry for not respecting your relationship with each other. You two clearly mean a lot to one another and I shouldn’t have tried to get in the way.

I’m glad you were able to fix Sweety Bun,

-[My name]”

Any feedback? My guardian said I could ask for advice here (though she thought calling their mistress “Grass” was kind of lame), and this is kind of my first ever apology letter, so I could use the help.

EDIT: Alrighty. I’m sending it to Grass tonight. I’m super nervous about it, but my guardian keeps reassuring me it’s the best thing to do. Wish me luck.

EDIT 2: They replied! https://www.reddit.com/r/seed_irl/s/4RpWe5e77b

mayb newly discovered sophont civilizations should demand that affini representatives be drunk on a foreign substance thru their vines during treaty negotiations.

might give the newly discoverd sophont civilizations an edge

like the irl US puts SS before each ship while the UK has HMS. Does the Affini Compact have something similar

Who in fiction would be the scariest and most diffcult for the affini to handle over a long period of time.

some might be in the Moment but who will cause trouble over a long period.

i say its kirby. he is cute enough to probably make a affini rebloom from interacting and he had the strenght to Absolutly oblitarate them. and even if they get him on their side kirby is the only kirby so its basically impossible to make good xenodrugs for him and whats worse? he is probably the most prone for missunderstandings and tricking. he needs to missunderstand one thing or be tricked once and atleast a few affini die. and yes usally they can come back but kirby would probably erase them. and whats even worse? he is so small they could hartly catch him. so in other words he would be the one who would give the affini the most problems over a long period but who do you think would give the affini the most problems over a long period?

So videogames have currency exspecially rpg's so? how do videogames like that look in the compact or better yet how do videogames in General look in the compact because stuff like animal crossing or stardew valey wouldn't work. a lot of games exspecially those loved by neurodivergent folk wouldn't work

Anyone got any good like, discord rp servers for HDG? i fear i might be a bit of an odd man out being a straight/sorta pan cis man but i do really think it could be fun!!!

Now I know how it sounds, but just hear me out. See, it all started about four months ago. My friend, Jesse (not their real name), and I have been pals since we were kids. We have a really great bond and one of my favorite things about our relationship is how honest we can be with each other. Like, I feel like I can really tell them when they’re wrong about something and they’re good about telling me when I’m not giving myself enough credit (sometimes).

So anyway, I thought Jesse and I were coping pretty well with the recent invasion and everything. I was making sure we were keeping our heads down, not saying anything that might offend any new xeno neighbors, covering up any signs of mental health issues, etc. You know how it is.

But then they just had to ruin it for themselves. They came home from that weird fake gardening job the plants set up that I told them to quit over a dozen times, and they were gushing about this one affini they were working with there. Let’s call her “Grass” for the sake of anonymity. Anyway, they kept going on and on about how “tender” she was and how she “always knew when they were having a bad day” and all that other shit. I tried to explain to them that it was just a trap meant to make them soft and easy to enslave, but they just didn’t get it.

One thing to another, and despite my careful guidance, Jesse started spending way more time with Grass. They’d go out to the flower gardens, go to her house, and heck, I even saw her wrapping them in her vines and carrying him around like an actual child! It wasn’t long before Jesse started sleeping over at her place more often than not. They said Grass actually told them something about me being a bad influence, so it’s pretty obvious she’s just trying to isolate them.

Anyway, fast forward to yesterday and, after not coming home for like a week, they showed up at the door wearing an actual collar. They said they were just here to get a few things before heading back to Grass’ place and that they didn’t really want to keep living here. They had this white bunny plushy in their arms the whole time and they were giving it little squeezes while they talked. 

I knew this was my last chance. If they didn’t ditch Grass’ influence now, they never would. Looking at their bunny, I realized something. The reason they were clinging to this plant was because the plant was shielding from pain. They had become soft and pliable, their reasoning atrophying from too much coddling. All I had to do was remind their brain what the real world is like and they’d go back to being the hard, unfeeling Jesse I knew and loved.

So yeah, I snatched the bunny out of their arms and tossed it onto the gas stove. They started screaming and crying and grabbed what was left, sticking it under the sink before running off. I figured they’d come back and apologize, but Grass sent me a message telling me to “stay away from them” and that she would come grab their stuff within a day or two. I tried to give them the tough love I knew they needed, sending them messages telling them they needed to get over it and come back to reality, but I got blocked. 

So yeah, I really feel l’m being treated unfairly here after all I did for them, but I realize sometimes there’s no helping people. Did I go too far?

EDIT: They‘re letting me update my post to say that I failed my wellness check. I made sure my hab was clean and all, but it didn’t matter. The ”vet” said that the scans they did as part of the health checkup revealed a “chemical imbalence impeding empathy and creating a sense of grandiosity” or something along those lines. So mean (those are the worst words they’d let me use). They’re deciding on who to assign to me for a wardship now.

So. Mean.

EDIT 2: Update post https://www.reddit.com/r/seed_irl/s/8V4YiH7gYk

So I’m an independent and have general anxiety disorder and have ADD and autism, so I’m basically constantly anxious and overstimulated and understimulated at the same time. I feel like if I volunteered to become a floret the affini would pair me up with an affini who matches my needs and will be lighter on me since I volunteered. I’m okay with them giving me a haustoric implant so I’m a pretty well fit to become a floret. I love being taken care of like a pet in my relationship with my partner, and not having to worry about everything because of the xenodrugs the affini give us (as I’ve heard and seen from seeing affini walking their florets in the park) and because my new owner would take care of it for me sounds great! If I get the right affini I might even be allowed to continue my historical research (even if only in a very limited way). With all this in mind I feel like becoming a floret is the best thing for me and my health.

There is just one problem. My partner is a feralist and calls themselves a ”terran supremacist” jokingly. They treat me really well and they are very considerate of me and I love them. But I’m afraid of how they’d react if I volunteered to become a floret. What if they wouldn’t love me anymore? What if the affini found out and my partner resists so much they buy them on class O drugs or make her into a sprout? What if they wouldn’t want to be with me anymore? And if they want to continue to be with me could I still keep our relationship as a floret?

I've somehow (don't ask) come into contact with some feralist over the comms, and I have been trying my best to convince them it isn't so bad being a pet.

I mean, I was feral, and it sucked. Now I'm so happy and loved, and I get sooooo many cuddles. I've even tried to trick them into giving me their secret hideout location, and they caught onto my ruse.

It's like they think becoming a pet is giving up who you are or something.

So please can someone tell me, I want them to feel so happy and be loved like me. If anyone has a way to help, please let me know.

Expies deserve to be rescued by the Affini.