u/Far-Bluebird-6470

I’m very short and slim but despite that I’ve done well passing as a guy. I have a soft goth guy look with longer hair and jewelry and stuff. I used to be normal, in that I’ve had gfs and was a guy with them in every way. However, no one knows that secretly I’ve been losing myself. The dildo strap on that I used to fuck my gfs, now I use it exclusively to fuck myself. I make feminine moans as I cream and squirt and have satisfying clenchy orgasms on it. I need to cum like this now otherwise I feel pent up and achy/empty. I watch porn and hold a vibrator on my clit as the guy in the video says “good girl” and I just immediately have a shameful orgasm. It‘s like I’ve been rewired sexually at this point and I’m even considering the fact that if I was with a girl I think I wouldn’t feel sexually fulfilled anymore. It’s confusing to realize that I’ve slowly started feeling a girl sexually through masturbation when outside I still want to be the boy I described myself as.

I’m 5’2 and slim. There are small tells that I was born female. Smaller waist than your average guy. Despite that, I pass well as a softer looking alternative boy. I act masculine and normal in my day to day. I’ve even dated a few girls.

However, I have to admit that I've had curiosities. My body has been having urges and I feel so guilty when I watch porn. I focus on the penetration, the way the girl is pinned. I got my first dildo a while ago and the first time I came on it, I made a creamy mess and made these embarrassing noises that I didn’t even know I could make. It was so shameful to slide off of it with my shaking legs and see how it was completely white and just dripping with juices. After that, it’s like I need it now. I get so achy and empty and I just need to bounce on my dildo and have a strong clenchy orgasm on it. I need this often, otherwise I feel pent up and foggy mentally. I’m so scared of how good actual sex with a man would feel…

I’m 5’2 and slim. There are minor tells that I was born female. Smaller waist than your average guy. Despite that, I pass well as a softer looking alternative boy. I act masculine and normal in my day to day. I’ve even dated a few girls.

However, I have to admit that I've had curiosities. My body has been having urges and I feel so guilty when I watch porn. I focus on the penetration, the way the girl is pinned. I got my first dildo a while ago and the first time I came on it, I made a creamy mess and made these embarrassing noises that I didn’t even know I could make. It was so shameful to slide off of it with my shaking legs and see how it was completely white and just dripping with juices. After that, it’s like I need it now. I get so achy and empty and I just need to bounce on my dildo and have a strong clenchy orgasm on it. I need this often, otherwise I feel pent up and foggy mentally. I’m so scared of how good actual sex with a man would feel…

I’m 5’2 and slim. There are minor tells that I was born female. Smaller waist than your average guy. Despite that, I pass well as a softer looking alternative boy. I act masculine and normal in my day to day. I’ve even dated a few girls.

However, I have to admit that I've had curiosities. My body has been having urges and I feel so guilty when I watch porn. I focus on the penetration, the way the girl is pinned. I got my first dildo a while ago and the first time I came on it, I made a creamy mess and made these embarrassing noises that I didn’t even know I could make. It was so shameful to slide off of it with my shaking legs and see how it was completely white and just dripping with juices. After that, it’s like I need it now. I get so achy and empty and I just need to bounce on my dildo and have a strong clenchy orgasm on it. I need this often, otherwise I feel pent up and foggy mentally. I’m so scared of how good actual sex with a man would feel…

The truth is, my body is primed for this. I have so say in the matter. It is a bit scary to realize that if I slipped up, if I let those good feelings win and let a man do what he wants, I’d end up pregnant. It’s not only that my eggs are fragile, my mind itself is. When I ovulate I don’t think right. I’ve also heard that when you have sex sometimes the urge to have the man cum in you is so strong you just drop every caution and beg him to, lock your legs, etc. It’s a scary loss of control to realize that my body and primal brain are basically prepared and eager to get pregnant all the time.

I wonder if men have a similar kind of feeling? In my case it’s a nervousness and a bit of a feeling that I’m helpless. Biology isn’t fair. Nature is all about power struggles and such. In this case my body is weak, small, and receptive. Men are so much bigger and stronger than me and my body is designed to let them in, milk them, help them spurt their sperm inside me. As a man, how does it feel to have that power? To be designed by nature so be so much bigger and stronger and have the ability to impregnate women so easily? I wonder if there is a sense of pride or even a drunk on power feeling that’s analogous to my embarrassed one.

I’m 5’2 and slim. There are minor tells that I was born female. Smaller waist than your average guy. Despite that, I pass well as a softer looking alternative boy. I act masculine and normal in my day to day. I’ve even dated a few girls.

However, I have to admit that I've had curiosities. My body has been having urges and I feel so guilty when I watch porn. I focus on the penetration, the way the girl is pinned. Her overwhelmed moans and the audible wet noises building as her body opens for him. It makes a deep ache and heat build between my legs. My pussy gets so wet. I just can’t keep my masculine frame looking at it. My body wants me to let a man do that to me.

I’m 5’2 and slim. There are tells that I was born female. Smaller waist than your average guy. Despite that, I pass well as a soft looking alternative boy. I act masculine and normal in my day to day. I’ve even dated a few girls.

However, I have to admit that I've had curiosities. My body has been having urges and I feel so guilty when I watch porn. I focus on the penetration, the way the girl is pinned. Her overwhelmed moans and the audible wet noises building as her body opens for him. It makes a deep ache and heat build between my legs. My pussy gets so wet. I just can’t keep my masculine frame looking at it. My body wants me to let a man do that to me.