u/InevitableSoft6017

So for context, I (18) posted a little bit ago about how I cheated on my boyfriend (19) with my ex (24) and how I didn't really feel guilty. The day after sure but after that? Nothing. I went on with my life like It was nothing. I guess the weirdest part was that I still felt this love for my boyfriend despite what I did. Well anyways I took some of the advice that y'all gave me and went for an STD checkup and found that I'm clean. I didn't have sex with my boyfriend in that time but still it was incredibly irresponsible of me to not do that so ty.

Anyways anyways, back to what happened. It’s been about a month now since that originally happened and well… it happened again. My ex texted me and after saying no he left it alone, but my dumbass urges just took over again and I texted him back. We met up again in his car and it basically played out the same as last time. We talked, we got frisky, then I rode tf outta him in his car. Then we met again a few days later, this time at his place. He wanted to do it raw but I said no and he was pushy about it. He tapped his dick on my stomach asking and asking but I finally got some self control and told him to rubber up. He was still whiny but when he saw that I was actually being serious he just went along with it. Even the comments he’d make about my boyfriend stopped, well except for his urge to constantly compare his dick size to my boyfriends but whatever.

And again, I would do all this but go home and act lovey dovey with my boyfriend after getting railed not even 12 hours earlier. I don’t know why I feel this way and some people said maybe I just miss the sex with my ex but still genuinely love my boyfriend. I gaslit myself into believing that too until just 2 days ago. I was with a longtime friend (19) in his room just smoking like usual when we started talking about sex. Me and this friend used to casually hook up on and off and it would stop when either one of us was in a relationship.

He talked abt how his single life hook ups were and I talked abt how my bf was in bed and eventually spilled that I cheated on him with my ex. He was pretty disappointed and told me a lot of the same stuff the people on reddit told me. He asked why and if it was really just an issue in the bed and I explained that I just missed the sex and the size of my ex. Also that my bf isn't really that small I'm just used to bigger, like my ex and him. I'm not good as measuring by eye so I think my ex is abt 8-9 inches, my friend is abt 7 inches, and my bf is 4 inches.

I guess that did something for him cuz he straight up just asked "I'm bigger than ur bf?" and I said yeah. We talked more and more and he wasn't "disappointed" in me anymore and said he "gets it" cuz sometimes "girls just need something bigger" and put a hand on my thigh. This is the part where I say I swatted his hand away but I didn't. I knew it was fcked up and I knew what I was doing to my bf was terrible but I'm a weak person and gave in. I took his dick out myself and stroked it slowly with both hands. He put a hand on my head and tried making me go down but I held back and just kept stroking. I spit on it but never put it in my mouth and kept going faster and faster until he started moving funny and came.

Every nerve in my body wanted me to be cute and sexy and lick the cum off my hand but I held firm and just wiped it on his bed sheet. He left to get condoms and "recharge" and we started immediately as soon as he got back. I was shocked but he wanted to go down on me even tho I didn't on him, but I still said no. I got on my hands and knees arched back with my head on his pillow and he pulled down my shorts and just went to fcking town on me. He isn't as big as my ex but god he was railing into me like crazy. We finished up and we went to eat and drove me home. Before I got out of the car he said it was a one time thing and that he was sorry.

Now I'm just left sitting here wondering wtf is going on with my emotions. Why does my friend feel more bad than I do? He's single I'm the one that's supposed to be responsible. And I know it's bad but the thought of losing my boyfriend breaks my fcking heart. I'm such a terrible person and I know I don't deserve him and I know I'm wrong but why do I feel this way? I always struggle with showing basic emotions or basic empathy but this whole thing is making me spiral. I can already feel myself getting worse cuz duh I just fcked a friend so idk. A therapist is gonna love unpacking all of this lmao

So for context, I (18) posted a little bit ago about how I cheated on my boyfriend (19) with my ex (24) and how I didn't really feel guilty. The day after sure but after that? Nothing. I went on with my life like It was nothing. I guess the weirdest part was that I still felt this love for my boyfriend despite what I did. Well anyways I took some of the advice that y'all gave me and went for an STD checkup and found that I'm clean. I didn't have sex with my boyfriend in that time but still it was incredibly irresponsible of me to not do that so ty.

Anyways anyways, back to what happened. It’s been about a month now since that originally happened and well… it happened again. My ex texted me and after saying no he left it alone, but my dumbass urges just took over again and I texted him back. We met up again in his car and it basically played out the same as last time. We talked, we got frisky, then I rode tf outta him in his car. Then we met again a few days later, this time at his place. He wanted to do it raw but I said no and he was pushy about it. He tapped his dick on my stomach asking and asking but I finally got some self control and told him to rubber up. He was still whiny but when he saw that I was actually being serious he just went along with it. Even the comments he’d make about my boyfriend stopped, well except for his urge to constantly compare his dick size to my boyfriends but whatever.

And again, I would do all this but go home and act lovey dovey with my boyfriend after getting railed not even 12 hours earlier. I don’t know why I feel this way and some people said maybe I just miss the sex with my ex but still genuinely love my boyfriend. I gaslit myself into believing that too until just 2 days ago. I was with a longtime friend (19) in his room just smoking like usual when we started talking about sex. Me and this friend used to casually hook up on and off and it would stop when either one of us was in a relationship.

He talked abt how his single life hook ups were and I talked abt how my bf was in bed and eventually spilled that I cheated on him with my ex. He was pretty disappointed and told me a lot of the same stuff the people on reddit told me. He asked why and if it was really just an issue in the bed and I explained that I just missed the sex and the size of my ex. Also that my bf isn't really that small I'm just used to bigger, like my ex and him. I'm not good as measuring by eye so I think my ex is abt 8-9 inches, my friend is abt 7 inches, and my bf is 4 inches.

I guess that did something for him cuz he straight up just asked "I'm bigger than ur bf?" and I said yeah. We talked more and more and he wasn't "disappointed" in me anymore and said he "gets it" cuz sometimes "girls just need something bigger" and put a hand on my thigh. This is the part where I say I swatted his hand away but I didn't. I knew it was fcked up and I knew what I was doing to my bf was terrible but I'm a weak person and gave in. I took his dick out myself and stroked it slowly with both hands. He put a hand on my head and tried making me go down but I held back and just kept stroking. I spit on it but never put it in my mouth and kept going faster and faster until he started moving funny and came.

Every nerve in my body wanted me to be cute and sexy and lick the cum off my hand but I held firm and just wiped it on his bed sheet. He left to get condoms and "recharge" and we started immediately as soon as he got back. I was shocked but he wanted to go down on me even tho I didn't on him, but I still said no. I got on my hands and knees arched back with my head on his pillow and he pulled down my shorts and just went to fcking town on me. He isn't as big as my ex but god he was railing into me like crazy. We finished up and we went to eat and drove me home. Before I got out of the car he said it was a one time thing and that he was sorry.

Now I'm just left sitting here wondering wtf is going on with my emotions. Why does my friend feel more bad than I do? He's single I'm the one that's supposed to be responsible. And I know it's bad but the thought of losing my boyfriend breaks my fcking heart. I'm such a terrible person and I know I don't deserve him and I know I'm wrong but why do I feel this way? I always struggle with showing basic emotions or basic empathy but this whole thing is making me spiral. I can already feel myself getting worse cuz duh I just fcked a friend so idk. A therapist is gonna love unpacking all of this lmao

So for context, I posted a little bit ago about how I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex and how I didn't really feel guilty. The day after sure but after that? Nothing. I went on with my life like It was nothing. I guess the weirdest part was that I still felt this love for my boyfriend despite what I did. Well anyways I took some of the advice that y'all gave me and went for an STD checkup and found that I'm clean. I didn't have sex with my boyfriend in that time but still it was incredibly irresponsible of me to not do that so ty.

Anyways anyways, back to what happened. It’s been about a month now since that originally happened and well… it happened again. My ex texted me and after saying no he left it alone, but my dumbass urges just took over again and I texted him back. We met up again in his car and it basically played out the same as last time. We talked, we got frisky, then I rode tf outta him in his car. Then we met again a few days later, this time at his place. He wanted to do it raw but I said no and he was pushy about it. He tapped his dick on my stomach asking and asking but I finally got some self control and told him to rubber up. He was still whiny but when he saw that I was actually being serious he just went along with it. Even the comments he’d make about my boyfriend stopped, well except for his urge to constantly compare his dick size to my boyfriends but whatever.

And again, I would do all this but go home and act lovey dovey with my boyfriend after getting railed not even 12 hours earlier. I don’t know why I feel this way and some people said maybe I just miss the sex with my ex but still genuinely love my boyfriend. I gaslit myself into believing that too until just 2 days ago. I was with a longtime friend in my room just smoking like usual when we started talking about sex. Me and this friend used to casually hook up on and off and it would stop when either one of us was in a relationship.

He talked abt how his single life hook ups were and I talked abt how my bf was in bed and eventually spilled that I cheated on him with my ex. He was pretty disappointed and told me a lot of the same stuff the people on reddit told me. He asked why and if it was really just an issue in the bed and I explained that I just missed the sex and the size of my ex. Also that my bf isn't really that small I'm just used to bigger, like my ex and him. I'm not good as measuring by eye so I think my ex is abt 8-9 inches, my friend is abt 7 inches, and my bf is 4 inches.

I guess that did something for him cuz he straight up just asked "I'm bigger than ur bf?" and I said yeah. We talked more and more and he wasn't "disappointed" in me anymore and said he "gets it" cuz sometimes "girls just need something bigger" and put a hand on my thigh. This is the part where I say I swatted his hand away but I didn't. I knew it was fcked up and I knew what I was doing to my bf was terrible but I'm a weak person and gave in. I took his dick out myself and stroked it slowly with both hands. He put a hand on my head and tried making me go down but I held back and just kept stroking. I spit on it but never put it in my mouth and kept going faster and faster until he started moving funny and came.

Every nerve in my body wanted me to be cute and sexy and lick the cum off my hand but I held firm and just wiped it on his bed sheet. He left to get condoms and "recharge" and we started immediately as soon as he got back. I was shocked but he wanted to go down on me even tho I didn't on him, but I still said no. I got on my hands and knees arched back with my head on his pillow and he pulled down my shorts and just went to fcking town on me. He isn't as big as my ex but god he was railing into me like crazy. We finished up and we went to eat and drove me home. Before I got out of the car he said it was a one time thing and that he was sorry.

Now I'm just left sitting here wondering wtf is going on with my emotions. Why does my friend feel more bad than I do? He's single I'm the one that's supposed to be responsible. And I know it's bad but the thought of losing my boyfriend breaks my fcking heart. I'm such a terrible person and I know I don't deserve him and I know I'm wrong but why do I feel this way? I always struggle with showing basic emotions or basic empathy but this whole thing is making me spiral. I can already feel myself getting worse cuz duh I just fcked a friend so idk. A therapist is gonna love unpacking all of this lmao

So for context, I posted a little bit ago about how I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex and how I didn't really feel guilty. The day after sure but after that? Nothing. I went on with my life like It was nothing. I guess the weirdest part was that I still felt this love for my boyfriend despite what I did. Well anyways I took some of the advice that y'all gave me and went for an STD checkup and found that I'm clean. I didn't have sex with my boyfriend in that time but still it was incredibly irresponsible of me to not do that so ty.

Anyways anyways, back to what happened. It’s been about a month now since that originally happened and well… it happened again. My ex texted me and after saying no he left it alone, but my dumbass urges just took over again and I texted him back. We met up again in his car and it basically played out the same as last time. We talked, we got frisky, then I rode tf outta him in his car. Then we met again a few days later, this time at his place. He wanted to do it raw but I said no and he was pushy about it. He tapped his dick on my stomach asking and asking but I finally got some self control and told him to rubber up. He was still whiny but when he saw that I was actually being serious he just went along with it. Even the comments he’d make about my boyfriend stopped, well except for his urge to constantly compare his dick size to my boyfriends but whatever.

And again, I would do all this but go home and act lovey dovey with my boyfriend after getting railed not even 12 hours earlier. I don’t know why I feel this way and some people said maybe I just miss the sex with my ex but still genuinely love my boyfriend. I gaslit myself into believing that too until just 2 days ago. I was with a longtime friend in my room just smoking like usual when we started talking about sex. Me and this friend used to casually hook up on and off and it would stop when either one of us was in a relationship.

He talked abt how his single life hook ups were and I talked abt how my bf was in bed and eventually spilled that I cheated on him with my ex. He was pretty disappointed and told me a lot of the same stuff the people on reddit told me. He asked why and if it was really just an issue in the bed and I explained that I just missed the sex and the size of my ex. Also that my bf isn't really that small I'm just used to bigger, like my ex and him.

I guess that did something for him cuz he straight up just asked "I'm bigger than ur bf?" and I said yeah. We talked more and more and he wasn't "disappointed" in me anymore and said he "gets it" cuz sometimes "girls just need something bigger" and put a hand on my thigh. This is the part where I say I swatted his hand away but I didn't. I knew it was fcked up and I knew what I was doing to my bf was terrible but I'm a weak person and gave in. I took his dick out myself and stroked it slowly with both hands. He put a hand on my head and tried making me go down but I held back and just kept stroking. I spit on it but never put it in my mouth and kept going faster and faster until he started moving funny and came.

Every nerve in my body wanted me to be cute and sexy and lick the cum off my hand but I held firm and just wiped it on his bed sheet. He left to get condoms and "recharge" and we started immediately as soon as he got back. I was shocked but he wanted to go down on me even tho I didn't on him, but I still said no. I got on my hands and knees arched back with my head on his pillow and he pulled down my shorts and just went to fcking town on me. He isn't as big as my ex but god he was railing into me like crazy. We finished up and we went to eat and drove me home. Before I got out of the car he said it was a one time thing and that he was sorry.

Now I'm just left sitting here wondering wtf is going on with my emotions. Why does my friend feel more bad than I do? He's single I'm the one that's supposed to be responsible. And I know it's bad but the thought of losing my boyfriend breaks my fcking heart. I'm such a terrible person and I know I don't deserve him and I know I'm wrong but why do I feel this way? I always struggle with showing basic emotions or basic empathy but this whole thing is making me spiral. I can already feel myself getting worse cuz duh I just fcked a friend so idk. A therapist is gonna love unpacking all of this lmao

So for context, I posted a little bit ago about how I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex and how I didn't really feel guilty. The day after sure but after that? Nothing. I went on with my life like It was nothing. I guess the weirdest part was that I still felt this love for my boyfriend despite what I did. Well anyways I took some of the advice that y'all gave me and went for an STD checkup and found that I'm clean. I didn't have sex with my boyfriend in that time but still it was incredibly irresponsible of me to not do that so ty.

Anyways anyways, back to what happened. It’s been about a month now since that originally happened and well… it happened again. My ex texted me and after saying no he left it alone, but my dumbass urges just took over again and I texted him back. We met up again in his car and it basically played out the same as last time. We talked, we got frisky, then I rode tf outta him in his car. Then we met again a few days later, this time at his place. He wanted to do it raw but I said no and he was pushy about it. He tapped his dick on my stomach asking and asking but I finally got some self control and told him to rubber up. He was still whiny but when he saw that I was actually being serious he just went along with it. Even the comments he’d make about my boyfriend stopped, well except for his urge to constantly compare his dick size to my boyfriends but whatever.

And again, I would do all this but go home and act lovey dovey with my boyfriend after getting railed not even 12 hours earlier. I don’t know why I feel this way and some people said maybe I just miss the sex with my ex but still genuinely love my boyfriend. I gaslit myself into believing that too until just 2 days ago. I was with a longtime friend in my room just smoking like usual when we started talking about sex. Me and this friend used to casually hook up on and off and it would stop when either one of us was in a relationship.

He talked abt how his single life hook ups were and I talked abt how my bf was in bed and eventually spilled that I cheated on him with my ex. He was pretty disappointed and told me a lot of the same stuff the people on reddit told me. He asked why and if it was really just an issue in the bed and I explained that I just missed the sex and the size of my ex. Also that my bf isn't really that small I'm just used to bigger, like my ex and him.

I guess that did something for him cuz he straight up just asked "I'm bigger than ur bf?" and I said yeah. We talked more and more and he wasn't "disappointed" in me anymore and said he "gets it" cuz sometimes "girls just need something bigger" and put a hand on my thigh. This is the part where I say I swatted his hand away but I didn't. I knew it was fcked up and I knew what I was doing to my bf was terrible but I'm a weak person and gave in. I took his dick out myself and stroked it slowly with both hands. He put a hand on my head and tried making me go down but I held back and just kept stroking. I spit on it but never put it in my mouth and kept going faster and faster until he started moving funny and came.

Every nerve in my body wanted me to be cute and sexy and lick the cum off my hand but I held firm and just wiped it on his bed sheet. He left to get condoms and "recharge" and we started immediately as soon as he got back. I was shocked but he wanted to go down on me even tho I didn't on him, but I still said no. I got on my hands and knees arched back with my head on his pillow and he pulled down my shorts and just went to fcking town on me. He isn't as big as my ex but god he was railing into me like crazy. We finished up and we went to eat and drove me home. Before I got out of the car he said it was a one time thing and that he was sorry.

Now I'm just left sitting here wondering wtf is going on with my emotions. Why does my friend feel more bad than I do? He's single I'm the one that's supposed to be responsible. And I know it's bad but the thought of losing my boyfriend breaks my fcking heart. I'm such a terrible person and I know I don't deserve him and I know I'm wrong but why do I feel this way? I always struggle with showing basic emotions or basic empathy but this whole thing is making me spiral. I can already feel myself getting worse cuz duh I just fcked a friend so idk. A therapist is gonna love unpacking all of this lmao

So for context, I posted a little bit ago about how I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex and how I didn't really feel guilty. The day after sure but after that? Nothing. I went on with my life like It was nothing. I guess the weirdest part was that I still felt this love for my boyfriend despite what I did. Well anyways I took some of the advice that y'all gave me and went for an STD checkup and found that I'm clean. I didn't have sex with my boyfriend in that time but still it was incredibly irresponsible of me to not do that so ty.

Anyways anyways, back to what happened. It’s been about a month now since that originally happened and well… it happened again. My ex texted me and after saying no he left it alone, but my dumbass urges just took over again and I texted him back. We met up again in his car and it basically played out the same as last time. We talked, we got frisky, then I rode tf outta him in his car. Then we met again a few days later, this time at his place. He wanted to do it raw but I said no and he was pushy about it. He tapped his dick on my stomach asking and asking but I finally got some self control and told him to rubber up. He was still whiny but when he saw that I was actually being serious he just went along with it. Even the comments he’d make about my boyfriend stopped, well except for his urge to constantly compare his dick size to my boyfriends but whatever.

And again, I would do all this but go home and act lovey dovey with my boyfriend after getting railed not even 12 hours earlier. I don’t know why I feel this way and some people said maybe I just miss the sex with my ex but still genuinely love my boyfriend. I gaslit myself into believing that too until just 2 days ago. I was with a longtime friend in my room just smoking like usual when we started talking about sex. Me and this friend used to casually hook up on and off and it would stop when either one of us was in a relationship.

He talked abt how his single life hook ups were and I talked abt how my bf was in bed and eventually spilled that I cheated on him with my ex. He was pretty disappointed and told me a lot of the same stuff the people on reddit told me. He asked why and if it was really just an issue in the bed and I explained that I just missed the sex and the size of my ex. Also that my bf isn't really that small I'm just used to bigger, like my ex and him.

I guess that did something for him cuz he straight up just asked "I'm bigger than ur bf?" and I said yeah. We talked more and more and he wasn't "disappointed" in me anymore and said he "gets it" cuz sometimes "girls just need something bigger" and put a hand on my thigh. This is the part where I say I swatted his hand away but I didn't. I knew it was fcked up and I knew what I was doing to my bf was terrible but I'm a weak person and gave in. I took his dick out myself and stroked it slowly with both hands. He put a hand on my head and tried making me go down but I held back and just kept stroking. I spit on it but never put it in my mouth and kept going faster and faster until he started moving funny and came.

Every nerve in my body wanted me to be cute and sexy and lick the cum off my hand but I held firm and just wiped it on his bed sheet. He left to get condoms and "recharge" and we started immediately as soon as he got back. I was shocked but he wanted to go down on me even tho I didn't on him, but I still said no. I got on my hands and knees arched back with my head on his pillow and he pulled down my shorts and just went to fcking town on me. He isn't as big as my ex but god he was railing into me like crazy. We finished up and we went to eat and drove me home. Before I got out of the car he said it was a one time thing and that he was sorry.

Now I'm just left sitting here wondering wtf is going on with my emotions. Why does my friend feel more bad than I do? He's single I'm the one that's supposed to be responsible. And I know it's bad but the thought of losing my boyfriend breaks my fcking heart. I'm such a terrible person and I know I don't deserve him and I know I'm wrong but why do I feel this way? I always struggle with showing basic emotions or basic empathy but this whole thing is making me spiral. I can already feel myself getting worse cuz duh I just fcked a friend so idk. A therapist is gonna love unpacking all of this lmao

So for context, I posted a little bit ago about how I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex and how I didn't really feel guilty. The day after sure but after that? Nothing. I went on with my life like It was nothing. I guess the weirdest part was that I still felt this love for my boyfriend despite what I did. Well anyways I took some of the advice that y'all gave me and went for an STD checkup and found that I'm clean. I didn't have sex with my boyfriend in that time but still it was incredibly irresponsible of me to not do that so ty.

Anyways anyways, back to what happened. It’s been about a month now since that originally happened and well… it happened again. My ex texted me and after saying no he left it alone, but my dumbass urges just took over again and I texted him back. We met up again in his car and it basically played out the same as last time. We talked, we got frisky, then I rode tf outta him in his car. Then we met again a few days later, this time at his place. He wanted to do it raw but I said no and he was pushy about it. He tapped his dick on my stomach asking and asking but I finally got some self control and told him to rubber up. He was still whiny but when he saw that I was actually being serious he just went along with it. Even the comments he’d make about my boyfriend stopped, well except for his urge to constantly compare his dick size to my boyfriends but whatever.

And again, I would do all this but go home and act lovey dovey with my boyfriend after getting railed not even 12 hours earlier. I don’t know why I feel this way and some people said maybe I just miss the sex with my ex but still genuinely love my boyfriend. I gaslit myself into believing that too until just 2 days ago. I was with a longtime friend in my room just smoking like usual when we started talking about sex. Me and this friend used to casually hook up on and off and it would stop when either one of us was in a relationship.

He talked abt how his single life hook ups were and I talked abt how my bf was in bed and eventually spilled that I cheated on him with my ex. He was pretty disappointed and told me a lot of the same stuff the people on reddit told me. He asked why and if it was really just an issue in the bed and I explained that I just missed the sex and the size of my ex. Also that my bf isn't really that small I'm just used to bigger, like my ex and him.

I guess that did something for him cuz he straight up just asked "I'm bigger than ur bf?" and I said yeah. We talked more and more and he wasn't "disappointed" in me anymore and said he "gets it" cuz sometimes "girls just need something bigger" and put a hand on my thigh. This is the part where I say I swatted his hand away but I didn't. I knew it was fcked up and I knew what I was doing to my bf was terrible but I'm a weak person and gave in. I took his dick out myself and stroked it slowly with both hands. He put a hand on my head and tried making me go down but I held back and just kept stroking. I spit on it but never put it in my mouth and kept going faster and faster until he started moving funny and came.

Every nerve in my body wanted me to be cute and sexy and lick the cum off my hand but I held firm and just wiped it on his bed sheet. He left to get condoms and "recharge" and we started immediately as soon as he got back. I was shocked but he wanted to go down on me even tho I didn't on him, but I still said no. I got on my hands and knees arched back with my head on his pillow and he pulled down my shorts and just went to fcking town on me. He isn't as big as my ex but god he was railing into me like crazy. We finished up and we went to eat and drove me home. Before I got out of the car he said it was a one time thing and that he was sorry.

Now I'm just left sitting here wondering wtf is going on with my emotions. Why does my friend feel more bad than I do? He's single I'm the one that's supposed to be responsible. And I know it's bad but the thought of losing my boyfriend breaks my fcking heart. I'm such a terrible person and I know I don't deserve him and I know I'm wrong but why do I feel this way? I always struggle with showing basic emotions or basic empathy but this whole thing is making me spiral. I can already feel myself getting worse cuz duh I just fcked a friend so idk. A therapist is gonna love unpacking all of this lmao

So like the title says, I cheated but I don't feel bad and idk why.

I'm (18) a very pasty and skinny girl who is unfortunately pretty tall. My bf (19) and I have been together for about 3 months now. I kinda rushed into it after a shitty 2 year relationship with my ex (24). I wasn't completely over it but the time with my new boyfriend made me realize just how shitty my ex treated me. Our sex life is okay, even tho we've only done it abt 6 times, the only problem we have is that he taps out too fast. Not that I'm like draining him or anything it's just that he gets tired easily and we constantly have to have small breaks that ruin the flow we have going on. He also isn't very experienced so it's been a little frustrating being the one to lead when I like it the other way around.

Now here's how the main issue started, when me and my ex broke up I blocked him on everything but he texted me from a new number asking if I wanted to "smoke n chill" with him sometime. I blocked him immediately again without answering and went on with my business. I LOVE smoking weed, most of my money goes to paying off my car or helping my parents, but any spending money I do keep goes straight to some bud, vape, pen, bong or whatever. I got fired from my job a while back and obviously I had to cut back on smoking but turns out that smoking almost daily then stopping suddenly isn't easy (shocker ik). My bf isn't a goody two shoes but he has a weird dislike for weed/vapes. He drinks with his friends a lot and was even down to try mushrooms, but its a hard no when it comes to weed. He just says he doesn't like it and that's been our biggest issue outside the bedroom since I smoke A LOT. I asked my bf if he can help but he obviously said no and being my nerves got the best of me and I unblocked my ex.

We agreed to meet up late at night and I snuck out. I was just going for a smoke but I still felt this uneasiness in my gut. I hopped into my exs car and he parked at a park nearby. We smoked and talked a bit, catching up and stuff and letting him know I had a bf. He asked how my bf is in bed and when we started talking abt sex, I saw that he was starting to get hard. My ex is huge so its not like I could've ignored the tent he was pitching even if I tried. Now I can say "I was high I didn't know what I was doing" or "He said this was to pay him back for the weed" but he didn't. I fully knew what I was doing and despite trying my hardest to ignore it I eventually caved and put a hand on his thigh, then bulge. He didn't waste a second and pulled it out. He kept making comments like "What abt your bf huh" and stuff like that while I was stroking him. He pulled out a fresh pack of condoms and we took it to the backseat where I rode tf outta him.

We finished up and he started driving me home when I remembered why I even agreed to meet him in the first place and I asked if he can supply me with some dope for a bit and he said sure but all his stuff was back at his place like an hour and a half away. When we got to his place I sat on his bed and he handed me a whole baggie. Being in his room again after getting fcked in his backseat brought even more horny memories. Again, he didn't ask for anything in return, but I asked if he was down for another round, and he said yes. This time I sucked his dick and he started back up with the mean comments abt my bf. Stuff like "You missed having real dick huh" and other rude stuff like that. My bf isn't small but my ex is just fckin huge by comparison. My bf says he's 5 inches (which does anyone actually confirm btw??? I just kinda accept what they say since i don't have a ruler just on hand lmao) and idk what my ex is, but its enough for 2 hands and the tip to be out. Maybe 8-9 inches? Idk I'm really bad at measuring by eye.

He "forgot" the condoms in the car and wanted to do it raw. Since I literally just sucked his dick and didn't really care that much I agreed. He was always good with pulling out anyways. I got on his bed and he gave me backshots I haven't gotten since we dated. He railed into me and for the first time in months I just felt pure heaven. He just knew how to work my body, no breaks no nothing. He spewed out more hurtful shit abt my bf but I was getting railed so hard I just accepted whatever he was saying. It got to a point where he would make me agree with the hurtful stuff he was saying and would edge me until I did. My knees were starting to shake and they almost gave out multiple times and eventually he pulled out and shot all over my back. He cleaned up quick while I layed there catching my breath. He tossed me my clothes and practically asked me to leave since his "girlfriend likes dropping by in the morning" which I didn't even know that he had, but not like it matters either way. He practically kicked me out and I was left on the street with my legs shaky out at 3 am.

So like I said before, I'm broke asf and a Lyft back home was $57. I was freaking out since I couldn't afford it and was almost an hour and a half away from home. I obviously couldn't ask my parents so I just accepted my fate and called my bf. I woke him up and said I was out drinking with friends and couldn't drive home... he sent 60 no questions asked and to call him when we was home. I was floored and expected to be yelled at but he didn't. I got him, called him, hung up, and layed down in bed. I stared at the ceiling and though to myself "he didn't even question where I was?? I didn't even tell him I was going out tn. Does he really trust me that much?? Even the most loving of ppl would question it" and eventually slept.

Its been 2 weeks now and we are as normal as we ever were. I felt bad for days after but now? I feel oddly okay? I've never cheated before and I assumed the guilt was gonna kill me but idk. I feel so normal that it feels not normal to feel this normal. Obviously this means I didn't and never loved my bf right?? or liked i guess since we've only been dating for a couple months but idk, I would buy my bf flowers, walked 2 hours just to see him at work and wait 4 hours til he was off thrice now, cant watch shows unless he's with me, but I cheated so easily and don't even feel bad abt it??? Idk that is my Tedison Talk ig

So like the title says, I cheated but I don't feel bad and idk why.

I'm (18) a very pasty and skinny girl who is unfortunately pretty tall. My bf (19) and I have been together for about 3 months now. I kinda rushed into it after a shitty 2 year relationship with my ex (24). I wasn't completely over it but the time with my new boyfriend made me realize just how shitty my ex treated me. Our sex life is okay, even tho we've only done it abt 6 times, the only problem we have is that he taps out too fast. Not that I'm like draining him or anything it's just that he gets tired easily and we constantly have to have small breaks that ruin the flow we have going on. He also isn't very experienced so it's been a little frustrating being the one to lead when I like it the other way around.

Now here's how the main issue started, when me and my ex broke up I blocked him on everything but he texted me from a new number asking if I wanted to "smoke n chill" with him sometime. I blocked him immediately again without answering and went on with my business. I LOVE smoking weed, most of my money goes to paying off my car or helping my parents, but any spending money I do keep goes straight to some bud, vape, pen, bong or whatever. I got fired from my job a while back and obviously I had to cut back on smoking but turns out that smoking almost daily then stopping suddenly isn't easy (shocker ik). My bf isn't a goody two shoes but he has a weird dislike for weed/vapes. He drinks with his friends a lot and was even down to try mushrooms, but its a hard no when it comes to weed. He just says he doesn't like it and that's been our biggest issue outside the bedroom since I smoke A LOT. I asked my bf if he can help but he obviously said no and being my nerves got the best of me and I unblocked my ex.

We agreed to meet up late at night and I snuck out. I was just going for a smoke but I still felt this uneasiness in my gut. I hopped into my exs car and he parked at a park nearby. We smoked and talked a bit, catching up and stuff and letting him know I had a bf. He asked how my bf is in bed and when we started talking abt sex, I saw that he was starting to get hard. My ex is huge so its not like I could've ignored the tent he was pitching even if I tried. Now I can say "I was high I didn't know what I was doing" or "He said this was to pay him back for the weed" but he didn't. I fully knew what I was doing and despite trying my hardest to ignore it I eventually caved and put a hand on his thigh, then bulge. He didn't waste a second and pulled it out. He kept making comments like "What abt your bf huh" and stuff like that while I was stroking him. He pulled out a fresh pack of condoms and we took it to the backseat where I rode tf outta him.

We finished up and he started driving me home when I remembered why I even agreed to meet him in the first place and I asked if he can supply me with some dope for a bit and he said sure but all his stuff was back at his place like an hour and a half away. When we got to his place I sat on his bed and he handed me a whole baggie. Being in his room again after getting fcked in his backseat brought even more horny memories. Again, he didn't ask for anything in return, but I asked if he was down for another round, and he said yes. This time I sucked his dick and he started back up with the mean comments abt my bf. Stuff like "You missed having real dick huh" and other rude stuff like that. My bf isn't small but my ex is just fckin huge by comparison. My bf says he's 5 inches (which does anyone actually confirm btw??? I just kinda accept what they say since i don't have a ruler just on hand lmao) and idk what my ex is, but its enough for 2 hands and the tip to be out. Maybe 8-9 inches? Idk I'm really bad at measuring by eye.

He "forgot" the condoms in the car and wanted to do it raw. Since I literally just sucked his dick and didn't really care that much I agreed. He was always good with pulling out anyways. I got on his bed and he gave me backshots I haven't gotten since we dated. He railed into me and for the first time in months I just felt pure heaven. He just knew how to work my body, no breaks no nothing. He spewed out more hurtful shit abt my bf but I was getting railed so hard I just accepted whatever he was saying. It got to a point where he would make me agree with the hurtful stuff he was saying and would edge me until I did. My knees were starting to shake and they almost gave out multiple times and eventually he pulled out and shot all over my back. He cleaned up quick while I layed there catching my breath. He tossed me my clothes and practically asked me to leave since his "girlfriend likes dropping by in the morning" which I didn't even know that he had, but not like it matters either way. He practically kicked me out and I was left on the street with my legs shaky out at 3 am.

So like I said before, I'm broke asf and a Lyft back home was $57. I was freaking out since I couldn't afford it and was almost an hour and a half away from home. I obviously couldn't ask my parents so I just accepted my fate and called my bf. I woke him up and said I was out drinking with friends and couldn't drive home... he sent 60 no questions asked and to call him when we was home. I was floored and expected to be yelled at but he didn't. I got him, called him, hung up, and layed down in bed. I stared at the ceiling and though to myself "he didn't even question where I was?? I didn't even tell him I was going out tn. Does he really trust me that much?? Even the most loving of ppl would question it" and eventually slept.

Its been 2 weeks now and we are as normal as we ever were. I felt bad for days after but now? I feel oddly okay? I've never cheated before and I assumed the guilt was gonna kill me but idk. I feel so normal that it feels not normal to feel this normal. Obviously this means I didn't and never loved my bf right?? or liked i guess since we've only been dating for a couple months but idk, I would buy my bf flowers, walked 2 hours just to see him at work and wait 4 hours til he was off thrice now, cant watch shows unless he's with me, but I cheated so easily and don't even feel bad abt it??? Idk that is my Tedison Talk ig

So like the title says, I cheated but I don't feel bad and idk why.

I'm (18) a very pasty and skinny girl who is unfortunately pretty tall. My bf (19) and I have been together for about 3 months now. I kinda rushed into it after a shitty 2 year relationship with my ex (24). I wasn't completely over it but the time with my new boyfriend made me realize just how shitty my ex treated me. Our sex life is okay, even tho we've only done it abt 6 times, the only problem we have is that he taps out too fast. Not that I'm like draining him or anything it's just that he gets tired easily and we constantly have to have small breaks that ruin the flow we have going on. He also isn't very experienced so it's been a little frustrating being the one to lead when I like it the other way around.

Now here's how the main issue started, when me and my ex broke up I blocked him on everything but he texted me from a new number asking if I wanted to "smoke n chill" with him sometime. I blocked him immediately again without answering and went on with my business. I LOVE smoking weed, most of my money goes to paying off my car or helping my parents, but any spending money I do keep goes straight to some bud, vape, pen, bong or whatever. I got fired from my job a while back and obviously I had to cut back on smoking but turns out that smoking almost daily then stopping suddenly isn't easy (shocker ik). My bf isn't a goody two shoes but he has a weird dislike for weed/vapes. He drinks with his friends a lot and was even down to try mushrooms, but its a hard no when it comes to weed. He just says he doesn't like it and that's been our biggest issue outside the bedroom since I smoke A LOT. I asked my bf if he can help but he obviously said no and being my nerves got the best of me and I unblocked my ex.

We agreed to meet up late at night and I snuck out. I was just going for a smoke but I still felt this uneasiness in my gut. I hopped into my exs car and he parked at a park nearby. We smoked and talked a bit, catching up and stuff and letting him know I had a bf. He asked how my bf is in bed and when we started talking abt sex, I saw that he was starting to get hard. My ex is huge so its not like I could've ignored the tent he was pitching even if I tried. Now I can say "I was high I didn't know what I was doing" or "He said this was to pay him back for the weed" but he didn't. I fully knew what I was doing and despite trying my hardest to ignore it I eventually caved and put a hand on his thigh, then bulge. He didn't waste a second and pulled it out. He kept making comments like "What abt your bf huh" and stuff like that while I was stroking him. He pulled out a fresh pack of condoms and we took it to the backseat where I rode tf outta him.

We finished up and he started driving me home when I remembered why I even agreed to meet him in the first place and I asked if he can supply me with some dope for a bit and he said sure but all his stuff was back at his place like an hour and a half away. When we got to his place I sat on his bed and he handed me a whole baggie. Being in his room again after getting fcked in his backseat brought even more horny memories. Again, he didn't ask for anything in return, but I asked if he was down for another round, and he said yes. This time I sucked his dick and he started back up with the mean comments abt my bf. Stuff like "You missed having real dick huh" and other rude stuff like that. My bf isn't small but my ex is just fckin huge by comparison. My bf says he's 5 inches (which does anyone actually confirm btw??? I just kinda accept what they say since i don't have a ruler just on hand lmao) and idk what my ex is, but its enough for 2 hands and the tip to be out. Maybe 8-9 inches? Idk I'm really bad at measuring by eye.

He "forgot" the condoms in the car and wanted to do it raw. Since I literally just sucked his dick and didn't really care that much I agreed. He was always good with pulling out anyways. I got on his bed and he gave me backshots I haven't gotten since we dated. He railed into me and for the first time in months I just felt pure heaven. He just knew how to work my body, no breaks no nothing. He spewed out more hurtful shit abt my bf but I was getting railed so hard I just accepted whatever he was saying. It got to a point where he would make me agree with the hurtful stuff he was saying and would edge me until I did. My knees were starting to shake and they almost gave out multiple times and eventually he pulled out and shot all over my back. He cleaned up quick while I layed there catching my breath. He tossed me my clothes and practically asked me to leave since his "girlfriend likes dropping by in the morning" which I didn't even know that he had, but not like it matters either way. He practically kicked me out and I was left on the street with my legs shaky out at 3 am.

So like I said before, I'm broke asf and a Lyft back home was $57. I was freaking out since I couldn't afford it and was almost an hour and a half away from home. I obviously couldn't ask my parents so I just accepted my fate and called my bf. I woke him up and said I was out drinking with friends and couldn't drive home... he sent 60 no questions asked and to call him when we was home. I was floored and expected to be yelled at but he didn't. I got him, called him, hung up, and layed down in bed. I stared at the ceiling and though to myself "he didn't even question where I was?? I didn't even tell him I was going out tn. Does he really trust me that much?? Even the most loving of ppl would question it" and eventually slept.

Its been 2 weeks now and we are as normal as we ever were. I felt bad for days after but now? I feel oddly okay? I've never cheated before and I assumed the guilt was gonna kill me but idk. I feel so normal that it feels not normal to feel this normal. Obviously this means I didn't and never loved my bf right?? or liked i guess since we've only been dating for a couple months but idk, I would buy my bf flowers, walked 2 hours just to see him at work and wait 4 hours til he was off thrice now, cant watch shows unless he's with me, but I cheated so easily and don't even feel bad abt it??? Idk that is my Tedison Talk ig

So like the title says, I cheated but I don't feel bad and idk why.

I'm (18) a very pasty and skinny girl who is unfortunately pretty tall. My bf (19) and I have been together for about 3 months now. I kinda rushed into it after a shitty 2 year relationship with my ex (24). I wasn't completely over it but the time with my new boyfriend made me realize just how shitty my ex treated me. Our sex life is okay, even tho we've only done it abt 6 times, the only problem we have is that he taps out too fast. Not that I'm like draining him or anything it's just that he gets tired easily and we constantly have to have small breaks that ruin the flow we have going on. He also isn't very experienced so it's been a little frustrating being the one to lead when I like it the other way around.

Now here's how the main issue started, when me and my ex broke up I blocked him on everything but he texted me from a new number asking if I wanted to "smoke n chill" with him sometime. I blocked him immediately again without answering and went on with my business. I LOVE smoking weed, most of my money goes to paying off my car or helping my parents, but any spending money I do keep goes straight to some bud, vape, pen, bong or whatever. I got fired from my job a while back and obviously I had to cut back on smoking but turns out that smoking almost daily then stopping suddenly isn't easy (shocker ik). My bf isn't a goody two shoes but he has a weird dislike for weed/vapes. He drinks with his friends a lot and was even down to try mushrooms, but its a hard no when it comes to weed. He just says he doesn't like it and that's been our biggest issue outside the bedroom since I smoke A LOT. I asked my bf if he can help but he obviously said no and being my nerves got the best of me and I unblocked my ex.

We agreed to meet up late at night and I snuck out. I was just going for a smoke but I still felt this uneasiness in my gut. I hopped into my exs car and he parked at a park nearby. We smoked and talked a bit, catching up and stuff and letting him know I had a bf. He asked how my bf is in bed and when we started talking abt sex, I saw that he was starting to get hard. My ex is huge so its not like I could've ignored the tent he was pitching even if I tried. Now I can say "I was high I didn't know what I was doing" or "He said this was to pay him back for the weed" but he didn't. I fully knew what I was doing and despite trying my hardest to ignore it I eventually caved and put a hand on his thigh, then bulge. He didn't waste a second and pulled it out. He kept making comments like "What abt your bf huh" and stuff like that while I was stroking him. He pulled out a fresh pack of condoms and we took it to the backseat where I rode tf outta him.

We finished up and he started driving me home when I remembered why I even agreed to meet him in the first place and I asked if he can supply me with some dope for a bit and he said sure but all his stuff was back at his place like an hour and a half away. When we got to his place I sat on his bed and he handed me a whole baggie. Being in his room again after getting fcked in his backseat brought even more horny memories. Again, he didn't ask for anything in return, but I asked if he was down for another round, and he said yes. This time I sucked his dick and he started back up with the mean comments abt my bf. Stuff like "You missed having real dick huh" and other rude stuff like that. My bf isn't small but my ex is just fckin huge by comparison. My bf says he's 5 inches (which does anyone actually confirm btw??? I just kinda accept what they say since i don't have a ruler just on hand lmao) and idk what my ex is, but its enough for 2 hands and the tip to be out. Maybe 8-9 inches? Idk I'm really bad at measuring by eye.

He "forgot" the condoms in the car and wanted to do it raw. Since I literally just sucked his dick and didn't really care that much I agreed. He was always good with pulling out anyways. I got on his bed and he gave me backshots I haven't gotten since we dated. He railed into me and for the first time in months I just felt pure heaven. He just knew how to work my body, no breaks no nothing. He spewed out more hurtful shit abt my bf but I was getting railed so hard I just accepted whatever he was saying. It got to a point where he would make me agree with the hurtful stuff he was saying and would edge me until I did. My knees were starting to shake and they almost gave out multiple times and eventually he pulled out and shot all over my back. He cleaned up quick while I layed there catching my breath. He tossed me my clothes and practically asked me to leave since his "girlfriend likes dropping by in the morning" which I didn't even know that he had, but not like it matters either way. He practically kicked me out and I was left on the street with my legs shaky out at 3 am.

So like I said before, I'm broke asf and a Lyft back home was $57. I was freaking out since I couldn't afford it and was almost an hour and a half away from home. I obviously couldn't ask my parents so I just accepted my fate and called my bf. I woke him up and said I was out drinking with friends and couldn't drive home... he sent 60 no questions asked and to call him when we was home. I was floored and expected to be yelled at but he didn't. I got him, called him, hung up, and layed down in bed. I stared at the ceiling and though to myself "he didn't even question where I was?? I didn't even tell him I was going out tn. Does he really trust me that much?? Even the most loving of ppl would question it" and eventually slept.

Its been 2 weeks now and we are as normal as we ever were. I felt bad for days after but now? I feel oddly okay? I've never cheated before and I assumed the guilt was gonna kill me but idk. I feel so normal that it feels not normal to feel this normal. Obviously this means I didn't and never loved my bf right?? or liked i guess since we've only been dating for a couple months but idk, I would buy my bf flowers, walked 2 hours just to see him at work and wait 4 hours til he was off thrice now, cant watch shows unless he's with me, but I cheated so easily and don't even feel bad abt it??? Idk that is my Tedison Talk ig

So like the title says, I cheated but I don't feel bad and idk why.

I'm (18) a very pasty and skinny girl who is unfortunately pretty tall. My bf (19) and I have been together for about 3 months now. I kinda rushed into it after a shitty 2 year relationship with my ex (24). I wasn't completely over it but the time with my new boyfriend made me realize just how shitty my ex treated me. Our sex life is okay, even tho we've only done it abt 6 times, the only problem we have is that he taps out too fast. Not that I'm like draining him or anything it's just that he gets tired easily and we constantly have to have small breaks that ruin the flow we have going on. He also isn't very experienced so it's been a little frustrating being the one to lead when I like it the other way around.

Now here's how the main issue started, when me and my ex broke up I blocked him on everything but he texted me from a new number asking if I wanted to "smoke n chill" with him sometime. I blocked him immediately again without answering and went on with my business. I LOVE smoking weed, most of my money goes to paying off my car or helping my parents, but any spending money I do keep goes straight to some bud, vape, pen, bong or whatever. I got fired from my job a while back and obviously I had to cut back on smoking but turns out that smoking almost daily then stopping suddenly isn't easy (shocker ik). My bf isn't a goody two shoes but he has a weird dislike for weed/vapes. He drinks with his friends a lot and was even down to try mushrooms, but its a hard no when it comes to weed. He just says he doesn't like it and that's been our biggest issue outside the bedroom since I smoke A LOT. I asked my bf if he can help but he obviously said no and being my nerves got the best of me and I unblocked my ex.

We agreed to meet up late at night and I snuck out. I was just going for a smoke but I still felt this uneasiness in my gut. I hopped into my exs car and he parked at a park nearby. We smoked and talked a bit, catching up and stuff and letting him know I had a bf. He asked how my bf is in bed and when we started talking abt sex, I saw that he was starting to get hard. My ex is huge so its not like I could've ignored the tent he was pitching even if I tried. Now I can say "I was high I didn't know what I was doing" or "He said this was to pay him back for the weed" but he didn't. I fully knew what I was doing and despite trying my hardest to ignore it I eventually caved and put a hand on his thigh, then bulge. He didn't waste a second and pulled it out. He kept making comments like "What abt your bf huh" and stuff like that while I was stroking him. He pulled out a fresh pack of condoms and we took it to the backseat where I rode tf outta him.

We finished up and he started driving me home when I remembered why I even agreed to meet him in the first place and I asked if he can supply me with some dope for a bit and he said sure but all his stuff was back at his place like an hour and a half away. When we got to his place I sat on his bed and he handed me a whole baggie. Being in his room again after getting fcked in his backseat brought even more horny memories. Again, he didn't ask for anything in return, but I asked if he was down for another round, and he said yes. This time I sucked his dick and he started back up with the mean comments abt my bf. Stuff like "You missed having real dick huh" and other rude stuff like that. My bf isn't small but my ex is just fckin huge by comparison. My bf says he's 5 inches (which does anyone actually confirm btw??? I just kinda accept what they say since i don't have a ruler just on hand lmao) and idk what my ex is, but its enough for 2 hands and the tip to be out. Maybe 8-9 inches? Idk I'm really bad at measuring by eye.

He "forgot" the condoms in the car and wanted to do it raw. Since I literally just sucked his dick and didn't really care that much I agreed. He was always good with pulling out anyways. I got on his bed and he gave me backshots I haven't gotten since we dated. He railed into me and for the first time in months I just felt pure heaven. He just knew how to work my body, no breaks no nothing. He spewed out more hurtful shit abt my bf but I was getting railed so hard I just accepted whatever he was saying. It got to a point where he would make me agree with the hurtful stuff he was saying and would edge me until I did. My knees were starting to shake and they almost gave out multiple times and eventually he pulled out and shot all over my back. He cleaned up quick while I layed there catching my breath. He tossed me my clothes and practically asked me to leave since his "girlfriend likes dropping by in the morning" which I didn't even know that he had, but not like it matters either way. He practically kicked me out and I was left on the street with my legs shaky out at 3 am.

So like I said before, I'm broke asf and a Lyft back home was $57. I was freaking out since I couldn't afford it and was almost an hour and a half away from home. I obviously couldn't ask my parents so I just accepted my fate and called my bf. I woke him up and said I was out drinking with friends and couldn't drive home... he sent 60 no questions asked and to call him when we was home. I was floored and expected to be yelled at but he didn't. I got him, called him, hung up, and layed down in bed. I stared at the ceiling and though to myself "he didn't even question where I was?? I didn't even tell him I was going out tn. Does he really trust me that much?? Even the most loving of ppl would question it" and eventually slept.

Its been 2 weeks now and we are as normal as we ever were. I felt bad for days after but now? I feel oddly okay? I've never cheated before and I assumed the guilt was gonna kill me but idk. I feel so normal that it feels not normal to feel this normal. Obviously this means I didn't and never loved my bf right?? or liked i guess since we've only been dating for a couple months but idk, I would buy my bf flowers, walked 2 hours just to see him at work and wait 4 hours til he was off thrice now, cant watch shows unless he's with me, but I cheated so easily and don't even feel bad abt it??? Idk that is my Tedison Talk ig

So like the title says, I cheated but I don't feel bad and idk why.

I'm (18) a very pasty and skinny girl who is unfortunately pretty tall. My bf (19) and I have been together for about 3 months now. I kinda rushed into it after a shitty 2 year relationship with my ex (24). I wasn't completely over it but the time with my new boyfriend made me realize just how shitty my ex treated me. Our sex life is okay, even tho we've only done it abt 6 times, the only problem we have is that he taps out too fast. Not that I'm like draining him or anything it's just that he gets tired easily and we constantly have to have small breaks that ruin the flow we have going on. He also isn't very experienced so it's been a little frustrating being the one to lead when I like it the other way around.

Now here's how the main issue started, when me and my ex broke up I blocked him on everything but he texted me from a new number asking if I wanted to "smoke n chill" with him sometime. I blocked him immediately again without answering and went on with my business. I LOVE smoking weed, most of my money goes to paying off my car or helping my parents, but any spending money I do keep goes straight to some bud, vape, pen, bong or whatever. I got fired from my job a while back and obviously I had to cut back on smoking but turns out that smoking almost daily then stopping suddenly isn't easy (shocker ik). My bf isn't a goody two shoes but he has a weird dislike for weed/vapes. He drinks with his friends a lot and was even down to try mushrooms, but its a hard no when it comes to weed. He just says he doesn't like it and that's been our biggest issue outside the bedroom since I smoke A LOT. I asked my bf if he can help but he obviously said no and being my nerves got the best of me and I unblocked my ex.

We agreed to meet up late at night and I snuck out. I was just going for a smoke but I still felt this uneasiness in my gut. I hopped into my exs car and he parked at a park nearby. We smoked and talked a bit, catching up and stuff and letting him know I had a bf. He asked how my bf is in bed and when we started talking abt sex, I saw that he was starting to get hard. My ex is huge so its not like I could've ignored the tent he was pitching even if I tried. Now I can say "I was high I didn't know what I was doing" or "He said this was to pay him back for the weed" but he didn't. I fully knew what I was doing and despite trying my hardest to ignore it I eventually caved and put a hand on his thigh, then bulge. He didn't waste a second and pulled it out. He kept making comments like "What abt your bf huh" and stuff like that while I was stroking him. He pulled out a fresh pack of condoms and we took it to the backseat where I rode tf outta him.

We finished up and he started driving me home when I remembered why I even agreed to meet him in the first place and I asked if he can supply me with some dope for a bit and he said sure but all his stuff was back at his place like an hour and a half away. When we got to his place I sat on his bed and he handed me a whole baggie. Being in his room again after getting fcked in his backseat brought even more horny memories. Again, he didn't ask for anything in return, but I asked if he was down for another round, and he said yes. This time I sucked his dick and he started back up with the mean comments abt my bf. Stuff like "You missed having real dick huh" and other rude stuff like that. My bf isn't small but my ex is just fckin huge by comparison. My bf says he's 5 inches (which does anyone actually confirm btw??? I just kinda accept what they say since i don't have a ruler just on hand lmao) and idk what my ex is, but its enough for 2 hands and the tip to be out. Maybe 8-9 inches? Idk I'm really bad at measuring by eye.

He "forgot" the condoms in the car and wanted to do it raw. Since I literally just sucked his dick and didn't really care that much I agreed. He was always good with pulling out anyways. I got on his bed and he gave me backshots I haven't gotten since we dated. He railed into me and for the first time in months I just felt pure heaven. He just knew how to work my body, no breaks no nothing. He spewed out more hurtful shit abt my bf but I was getting railed so hard I just accepted whatever he was saying. It got to a point where he would make me agree with the hurtful stuff he was saying and would edge me until I did. My knees were starting to shake and they almost gave out multiple times and eventually he pulled out and shot all over my back. He cleaned up quick while I layed there catching my breath. He tossed me my clothes and practically asked me to leave since his "girlfriend likes dropping by in the morning" which I didn't even know that he had, but not like it matters either way. He practically kicked me out and I was left on the street with my legs shaky out at 3 am.

So like I said before, I'm broke asf and a Lyft back home was $57. I was freaking out since I couldn't afford it and was almost an hour and a half away from home. I obviously couldn't ask my parents so I just accepted my fate and called my bf. I woke him up and said I was out drinking with friends and couldn't drive home... he sent 60 no questions asked and to call him when we was home. I was floored and expected to be yelled at but he didn't. I got him, called him, hung up, and layed down in bed. I stared at the ceiling and though to myself "he didn't even question where I was?? I didn't even tell him I was going out tn. Does he really trust me that much?? Even the most loving of ppl would question it" and eventually slept.

Its been 2 weeks now and we are as normal as we ever were. I felt bad for days after but now? I feel oddly okay? I've never cheated before and I assumed the guilt was gonna kill me but idk. I feel so normal that it feels not normal to feel this normal. Obviously this means I didn't and never loved my bf right?? or liked i guess since we've only been dating for a couple months but idk, I would buy my bf flowers, walked 2 hours just to see him at work and wait 4 hours til he was off thrice now, cant watch shows unless he's with me, but I cheated so easily and don't even feel bad abt it??? Idk that is my Tedison Talk ig

So like the title says, I cheated but I don't feel bad and idk why.

I'm (18) a very pasty and skinny white girl who is unfortunately pretty tall. My bf (19) and I have been together for about 3 months now. I kinda rushed into it after a shitty 2 year relationship with my ex (24). I wasn't completely over it but the time with my new boyfriend made me realize just how shitty my ex treated me. Our sex life is okay, even tho we've only done it abt 6 times, the only problem we have is that he taps out too fast. Not that I'm like draining him or anything it's just that he gets tired easily and we constantly have to have small breaks that ruin the flow we have going on. He also isn't very experienced so it's been a little frustrating being the one to lead when usually I just like getting my brains fcked outta me.

Now here's how the main issue started, when me and my ex broke up I blocked him on everything but he texted me from a new number asking if I wanted to "smoke n chill" with him sometime. I blocked him immediately again without answering and went on with my business. I'm a huge pot head, most of my money goes to paying off my car or helping my parents, but any spending money I do keep goes straight to some bud, vape, pen, bong or whatever. I got fired from my job a while back and obviously I had to cut back on smoking but turns out that smoking almost daily then stopping suddenly isn't easy (shocker ik). My bf isn't a goody two shoes but he has a weird dislike for weed/vapes. He drinks with his friends a lot and was even down to try mushrooms, but its a hard no when it comes to weed. He just says he doesn't like it and that's been our biggest issue outside the bedroom since I smoke A LOT. I asked my bf if he can help but he obviously said no and being a dumb addict got the best of me and I unblocked my ex.

We agreed to meet up late at night and I snuck out. I was just going for a smoke but I still felt this uneasiness in my gut. I hopped into my exs car and he parked at a park nearby. We smoked and talked a bit, catching up and stuff and letting him know I had a bf. He asked how my bf is in bed and when we started talking abt sex, I saw that he was starting to get hard. My ex is huge so its not like I could've ignored the tent he was pitching even if I tried. Now I can say "I was high I didn't know what I was doing" or "He said this was to pay him back for the weed" but he didn't. I fully knew what I was doing and despite trying my hardest to ignore it I eventually caved and put a hand on his thigh, then bulge. He didn't waste a second and pulled it out. He kept making comments like "What abt your bf huh" and stuff like that while I was stroking him. He pulled out a fresh pack of condoms and we took it to the backseat where I rode tf outta him.

We finished up and he started driving me home when I remembered why I even agreed to meet him in the first place and I asked if he can supply me with some dope for a bit and he said sure but all his stuff was back at his place like an hour and a half away. When we got to his place I sat on his bed and he handed me a whole baggie. Being in his room again after getting fcked in his backseat brought even more horny memories. Again, he didn't ask for anything in return, but I asked if he was down for another round, and he said yes. This time I sucked his dick and he started back up with the mean comments abt my bf. Stuff like "You missed having real dick huh" and other rude stuff like that. My bf isn't small but my ex is just fckin huge by comparison. My bf says he's 5 inches (which does anyone actually confirm btw??? I just kinda accept what they say since i don't have a ruler just on hand lmao) and idk what my ex is, but its enough for 2 hands and the tip to be out. Maybe 8-9 inches? Idk I'm really bad at measuring by eye.

He "forgot" the condoms in the car and wanted to do it raw. Since I literally just sucked his dick and didn't really care that much I agreed. He was always good with pulling out anyways. I got on his bed and he gave me backshots I haven't gotten since we dated. He railed into me and for the first time in months I just felt pure heaven. He just knew how to work my body, no breaks no nothing. He spewed out more hateful shit abt my bf but I was getting railed so hard I just accepted whatever he was saying. It got to a point where he would make me agree with hateful stuff he was saying and would edge me until I did. My knees were starting to shake and I almost just fell flopped multiple times and eventually he pulled out and shot all over my back and he cleaned up quick while I layed there catching my breath. He tossed me my clothes and practically asked me to leave since his "girlfriend likes dropping by in the morning" which I didnt even know that he had, but not like it matters either way. He practically kicked me out and I was left on the street with my legs shaky out at 3 am.

So like I said before, I'm broke asf and a Lyft back home was $57. I was freaking out since I couldn't afford it and was almost an hour and a half away from home. I obviously couldn't ask my parents so I just accepted my fate and called my bf. I woke him up and said I was out drinking with friends and couldn't drive home... he sent 60 no questions asked and to call him when we was home. I was floored and expected to be yelled at but he didn't. I got him, called him, hung up, and layed down in bed. I stared at the ceiling and though to myself "he didn't even question where I was?? I didn't even tell him I was going out tn. Does he really trust me that much?? Even the most loving of ppl would question it" and eventually slept.

Its been 2 weeks now and we are as normal as we ever were. I felt bad for days after but now? I feel oddly okay? I've never cheated before and I assumed the guilt was gonna kill me but idk. I feel so normal that it feels not normal to feel this normal. Obviously this means I didn't and never loved my bf right?? or liked i guess since we've only been dating for a couple months but idk, I would buy my bf flowers, walked 2 hours just to see him at work and wait 4 hours til he was off thrice now, cant watch shows unless he's with me, but I cheated so easily and don't even feel bad abt it??? Idk that is my Tedison Talk ig

So like the title says, I cheated but I don't feel bad and idk why.

I'm (18) a very pasty and skinny white girl who is unfortunately pretty tall. My bf (19) and I have been together for about 3 months now. I kinda rushed into it after a shitty 2 year relationship with my ex (24). I wasn't completely over it but the time with my new boyfriend made me realize just how shitty my ex treated me. Our sex life is okay, even tho we've only done it abt 6 times, the only problem we have is that he taps out too fast. Not that I'm like draining him or anything it's just that he gets tired easily and we constantly have to have small breaks that ruin the flow we have going on. He also isn't very experienced so it's been a little frustrating being the one to lead when usually I just like getting my brains fcked outta me.

Now here's how the main issue started, when me and my ex broke up I blocked him on everything but he texted me from a new number asking if I wanted to "smoke n chill" with him sometime. I blocked him immediately again without answering and went on with my business. I'm a huge pot head, most of my money goes to paying off my car or helping my parents, but any spending money I do keep goes straight to some bud, vape, pen, bong or whatever. I got fired from my job a while back and obviously I had to cut back on smoking but turns out that smoking almost daily then stopping suddenly isn't easy (shocker ik). My bf isn't a goody two shoes but he has a weird dislike for weed/vapes. He drinks with his friends a lot and was even down to try mushrooms, but its a hard no when it comes to weed. He just says he doesn't like it and that's been our biggest issue outside the bedroom since I smoke A LOT. I asked my bf if he can help but he obviously said no and being a dumb addict got the best of me and I unblocked my ex.

We agreed to meet up late at night and I snuck out. I was just going for a smoke but I still felt this uneasiness in my gut. I hopped into my exs car and he parked at a park nearby. We smoked and talked a bit, catching up and stuff and letting him know I had a bf. He asked how my bf is in bed and when we started talking abt sex, I saw that he was starting to get hard. My ex is huge so its not like I could've ignored the tent he was pitching even if I tried. Now I can say "I was high I didn't know what I was doing" or "He said this was to pay him back for the weed" but he didn't. I fully knew what I was doing and despite trying my hardest to ignore it I eventually caved and put a hand on his thigh, then bulge. He didn't waste a second and pulled it out. He kept making comments like "What abt your bf huh" and stuff like that while I was stroking him. He pulled out a fresh pack of condoms and we took it to the backseat where I rode tf outta him.

We finished up and he started driving me home when I remembered why I even agreed to meet him in the first place and I asked if he can supply me with some dope for a bit and he said sure but all his stuff was back at his place like an hour and a half away. When we got to his place I sat on his bed and he handed me a whole baggie. Being in his room again after getting fcked in his backseat brought even more horny memories. Again, he didn't ask for anything in return, but I asked if he was down for another round, and he said yes. This time I sucked his dick and he started back up with the mean comments abt my bf. Stuff like "You missed having real dick huh" and other rude stuff like that. My bf isn't small but my ex is just fckin huge by comparison. My bf says he's 5 inches (which does anyone actually confirm btw??? I just kinda accept what they say since i don't have a ruler just on hand lmao) and idk what my ex is, but its enough for 2 hands and the tip to be out. Maybe 8-9 inches? Idk I'm really bad at measuring by eye.

He "forgot" the condoms in the car and wanted to do it raw. Since I literally just sucked his dick and didn't really care that much I agreed. He was always good with pulling out anyways. I got on his bed and he gave me backshots I haven't gotten since we dated. He railed into me and for the first time in months I just felt pure heaven. He just knew how to work my body, no breaks no nothing. He spewed out more hateful shit abt my bf but I was getting railed so hard I just accepted whatever he was saying. It got to a point where he would make me agree with hateful stuff he was saying and would edge me until I did. My knees were starting to shake and I almost just fell flopped multiple times and eventually he pulled out and shot all over my back and he cleaned up quick while I layed there catching my breath. He tossed me my clothes and practically asked me to leave since his "girlfriend likes dropping by in the morning" which I didnt even know that he had, but not like it matters either way. He practically kicked me out and I was left on the street with my legs shaky out at 3 am.

So like I said before, I'm broke asf and a Lyft back home was $57. I was freaking out since I couldn't afford it and was almost an hour and a half away from home. I obviously couldn't ask my parents so I just accepted my fate and called my bf. I woke him up and said I was out drinking with friends and couldn't drive home... he sent 60 no questions asked and to call him when we was home. I was floored and expected to be yelled at but he didn't. I got him, called him, hung up, and layed down in bed. I stared at the ceiling and though to myself "he didn't even question where I was?? I didn't even tell him I was going out tn. Does he really trust me that much?? Even the most loving of ppl would question it" and eventually slept.

Its been 2 weeks now and we are as normal as we ever were. I felt bad for days after but now? I feel oddly okay? I've never cheated before and I assumed the guilt was gonna kill me but idk. I feel so normal that it feels not normal to feel this normal. Obviously this means I didn't and never loved my bf right?? or liked i guess since we've only been dating for a couple months but idk, I would buy my bf flowers, walked 2 hours just to see him at work and wait 4 hours til he was off thrice now, cant watch shows unless he's with me, but I cheated so easily and don't even feel bad abt it??? Idk that is my Tedison Talk ig

So like the title says, I cheated but I don't feel bad and idk why.

I'm (18) a very pasty and skinny white girl who is unfortunately pretty tall. My bf (19) and I have been together for about 3 months now. I kinda rushed into it after a shitty 2 year relationship with my ex (24). I wasn't completely over it but the time with my new boyfriend made me realize just how shitty my ex treated me. Our sex life is okay, even tho we've only done it abt 6 times, the only problem we have is that he taps out too fast. Not that I'm like draining him or anything it's just that he gets tired easily and we constantly have to have small breaks that ruin the flow we have going on. He also isn't very experienced so it's been a little frustrating being the one to lead when usually I just like getting my brains fcked outta me.

Now here's how the main issue started, when me and my ex broke up I blocked him on everything but he texted me from a new number asking if I wanted to "smoke n chill" with him sometime. I blocked him immediately again without answering and went on with my business. I'm a huge pot head, most of my money goes to paying off my car or helping my parents, but any spending money I do keep goes straight to some bud, vape, pen, bong or whatever. I got fired from my job a while back and obviously I had to cut back on smoking but turns out that smoking almost daily then stopping suddenly isn't easy (shocker ik). My bf isn't a goody two shoes but he has a weird dislike for weed/vapes. He drinks with his friends a lot and was even down to try mushrooms, but its a hard no when it comes to weed. He just says he doesn't like it and that's been our biggest issue outside the bedroom since I smoke A LOT. I asked my bf if he can help but he obviously said no and being a dumb addict got the best of me and I unblocked my ex.

We agreed to meet up late at night and I snuck out. I was just going for a smoke but I still felt this uneasiness in my gut. I hopped into my exs car and he parked at a park nearby. We smoked and talked a bit, catching up and stuff and letting him know I had a bf. He asked how my bf is in bed and when we started talking abt sex, I saw that he was starting to get hard. My ex is huge so its not like I could've ignored the tent he was pitching even if I tried. Now I can say "I was high I didn't know what I was doing" or "He said this was to pay him back for the weed" but he didn't. I fully knew what I was doing and despite trying my hardest to ignore it I eventually caved and put a hand on his thigh, then bulge. He didn't waste a second and pulled it out. He kept making comments like "What abt your bf huh" and stuff like that while I was stroking him. He pulled out a fresh pack of condoms and we took it to the backseat where I rode tf outta him.

We finished up and he started driving me home when I remembered why I even agreed to meet him in the first place and I asked if he can supply me with some dope for a bit and he said sure but all his stuff was back at his place like an hour and a half away. When we got to his place I sat on his bed and he handed me a whole baggie. Being in his room again after getting fcked in his backseat brought even more horny memories. Again, he didn't ask for anything in return, but I asked if he was down for another round, and he said yes. This time I sucked his dick and he started back up with the mean comments abt my bf. Stuff like "You missed having real dick huh" and other rude stuff like that. My bf isn't small but my ex is just fckin huge by comparison. My bf says he's 5 inches (which does anyone actually confirm btw??? I just kinda accept what they say since i don't have a ruler just on hand lmao) and idk what my ex is, but its enough for 2 hands and the tip to be out. Maybe 8-9 inches? Idk I'm really bad at measuring by eye.

He "forgot" the condoms in the car and wanted to do it raw. Since I literally just sucked his dick and didn't really care that much I agreed. He was always good with pulling out anyways. I got on his bed and he gave me backshots I haven't gotten since we dated. He railed into me and for the first time in months I just felt pure heaven. He just knew how to work my body, no breaks no nothing. He spewed out more hateful shit abt my bf but I was getting railed so hard I just accepted whatever he was saying. It got to a point where he would make me agree with hateful stuff he was saying and would edge me until I did. My knees were starting to shake and I almost just fell flopped multiple times and eventually he pulled out and shot all over my back and he cleaned up quick while I layed there catching my breath. He tossed me my clothes and practically asked me to leave since his "girlfriend likes dropping by in the morning" which I didnt even know that he had, but not like it matters either way. He practically kicked me out and I was left on the street with my legs shaky out at 3 am.

So like I said before, I'm broke asf and a Lyft back home was $57. I was freaking out since I couldn't afford it and was almost an hour and a half away from home. I obviously couldn't ask my parents so I just accepted my fate and called my bf. I woke him up and said I was out drinking with friends and couldn't drive home... he sent 60 no questions asked and to call him when we was home. I was floored and expected to be yelled at but he didn't. I got him, called him, hung up, and layed down in bed. I stared at the ceiling and though to myself "he didn't even question where I was?? I didn't even tell him I was going out tn. Does he really trust me that much?? Even the most loving of ppl would question it" and eventually slept.

Its been 2 weeks now and we are as normal as we ever were. I felt bad for days after but now? I feel oddly okay? I've never cheated before and I assumed the guilt was gonna kill me but idk. I feel so normal that it feels not normal to feel this normal. Obviously this means I didn't and never loved my bf right?? or liked i guess since we've only been dating for a couple months but idk, I would buy my bf flowers, walked 2 hours just to see him at work and wait 4 hours til he was off thrice now, cant watch shows unless he's with me, but I cheated so easily and don't even feel bad abt it??? Idk that is my Tedison Talk ig

So like the title says, I cheated but I don't feel bad and idk why.

I'm (18) a very pasty and skinny white girl who is unfortunately pretty tall. My bf (19) and I have been together for about 3 months now. I kinda rushed into it after a shitty 2 year relationship with my ex (24). I wasn't completely over it but the time with my new boyfriend made me realize just how shitty my ex treated me. Our sex life is okay, even tho we've only done it abt 6 times, the only problem we have is that he taps out too fast. Not that I'm like draining him or anything it's just that he gets tired easily and we constantly have to have small breaks that ruin the flow we have going on. He also isn't very experienced so it's been a little frustrating being the one to lead when usually I just like getting my brains fcked outta me.

Now here's how the main issue started, when me and my ex broke up I blocked him on everything but he texted me from a new number asking if I wanted to "smoke n chill" with him sometime. I blocked him immediately again without answering and went on with my business. I'm a huge pot head, most of my money goes to paying off my car or helping my parents, but any spending money I do keep goes straight to some bud, vape, pen, bong or whatever. I got fired from my job a while back and obviously I had to cut back on smoking but turns out that smoking almost daily then stopping suddenly isn't easy (shocker ik). My bf isn't a goody two shoes but he has a weird dislike for weed/vapes. He drinks with his friends a lot and was even down to try mushrooms, but its a hard no when it comes to weed. He just says he doesn't like it and that's been our biggest issue outside the bedroom since I smoke A LOT. I asked my bf if he can help but he obviously said no and being a dumb addict got the best of me and I unblocked my ex.

We agreed to meet up late at night and I snuck out. I was just going for a smoke but I still felt this uneasiness in my gut. I hopped into my exs car and he parked at a park nearby. We smoked and talked a bit, catching up and stuff and letting him know I had a bf. He asked how my bf is in bed and when we started talking abt sex, I saw that he was starting to get hard. My ex is huge so its not like I could've ignored the tent he was pitching even if I tried. Now I can say "I was high I didn't know what I was doing" or "He said this was to pay him back for the weed" but he didn't. I fully knew what I was doing and despite trying my hardest to ignore it I eventually caved and put a hand on his thigh, then bulge. He didn't waste a second and pulled it out. He kept making comments like "What abt your bf huh" and stuff like that while I was stroking him. He pulled out a fresh pack of condoms and we took it to the backseat where I rode tf outta him.

We finished up and he started driving me home when I remembered why I even agreed to meet him in the first place and I asked if he can supply me with some dope for a bit and he said sure but all his stuff was back at his place like an hour and a half away. When we got to his place I sat on his bed and he handed me a whole baggie. Being in his room again after getting fcked in his backseat brought even more horny memories. Again, he didn't ask for anything in return, but I asked if he was down for another round, and he said yes. This time I sucked his dick and he started back up with the mean comments abt my bf. Stuff like "You missed having real dick huh" and other rude stuff like that. My bf isn't small but my ex is just fckin huge by comparison. My bf says he's 5 inches (which does anyone actually confirm btw??? I just kinda accept what they say since i don't have a ruler just on hand lmao) and idk what my ex is, but its enough for 2 hands and the tip to be out. Maybe 8-9 inches? Idk I'm really bad at measuring by eye.

He "forgot" the condoms in the car and wanted to do it raw. Since I literally just sucked his dick and didn't really care that much I agreed. He was always good with pulling out anyways. I got on his bed and he gave me backshots I haven't gotten since we dated. He railed into me and for the first time in months I just felt pure heaven. He just knew how to work my body, no breaks no nothing. He spewed out more hateful shit abt my bf but I was getting railed so hard I just accepted whatever he was saying. It got to a point where he would make me agree with hateful stuff he was saying and would edge me until I did. My knees were starting to shake and I almost just fell flopped multiple times and eventually he pulled out and shot all over my back and he cleaned up quick while I layed there catching my breath. He tossed me my clothes and practically asked me to leave since his "girlfriend likes dropping by in the morning" which I didnt even know that he had, but not like it matters either way. He practically kicked me out and I was left on the street with my legs shaky out at 3 am.

So like I said before, I'm broke asf and a Lyft back home was $57. I was freaking out since I couldn't afford it and was almost an hour and a half away from home. I obviously couldn't ask my parents so I just accepted my fate and called my bf. I woke him up and said I was out drinking with friends and couldn't drive home... he sent 60 no questions asked and to call him when we was home. I was floored and expected to be yelled at but he didn't. I got him, called him, hung up, and layed down in bed. I stared at the ceiling and though to myself "he didn't even question where I was?? I didn't even tell him I was going out tn. Does he really trust me that much?? Even the most loving of ppl would question it" and eventually slept.

Its been 2 weeks now and we are as normal as we ever were. I felt bad for days after but now? I feel oddly okay? I've never cheated before and I assumed the guilt was gonna kill me but idk. I feel so normal that it feels not normal to feel this normal. Obviously this means I didn't and never loved my bf right?? or liked i guess since we've only been dating for a couple months but idk, I would buy my bf flowers, walked 2 hours just to see him at work and wait 4 hours til he was off thrice now, cant watch shows unless he's with me, but I cheated so easily and don't even feel bad abt it??? Idk that is my Tedison Talk ig

So like the title says, I cheated but I don't feel bad and idk why.

My bf (19) and I (18) have been together for about 3 months now. I kinda rushed into it after a shitty 2 year relationship with my ex (24). I wasn't completely over it but my bf was helping me learn what dating is suppose to feel like. Our sex life is good, even tho we've only done it abt 3 times, the only problem we have is that he taps out too fast. Not that I'm like draining him or anything it's just that he gets tired easily and we constantly have to have small breaks that ruin the flow we have going on.

Now here's how the issue started, my ex texted me from a new number asking if I wanted to "smoke n chill" with him sometime. I blocked him immediately without answering. My bf isn't a goody two shoes but he has a weird hate for weed/vapes. He drinks with his friends a lot was even down to try mushrooms when offered by our friend, but its a hard no when it comes to weed. He just says he doesn't like it and thats been our biggest issue outside the bedroom since I smoke a lot. I got fired from my job a while back and obviously I cut back on smoking but turns out that smoking almost daily then stopping suddenly isnt easy (shocker ik). I asked my bf if he can help but obviously said no and my jittery nerves got the best of me and I unblocked my ex.

We agreed to meet up late at night and I snuck out. I was just going for a smoke but I still knew what I was doing was wrong regardless since I hid what I was doing to my bf. I hopped into my exs car and we drove and parked at a park nearby. We smoked and talked I saw that he started getting hard. My ex is huge so its not like I couldve ignored the tent he was pitching either way. Now I can say "I was high I didnt know what I was doing" or "He said this was to pay him back for the weed" but he didnt. I fully knew what I was doing and put a hand on his bulge. We wasted no time and as soon as he rubbered up, I rode tf outta him in the backseat of his car.

We finished up and I asked if he can supply me for a bit and he said sure but all his stuff was back at his place like an hour and a half away. During the drive there we talked more and more and idk he seemed so chill compared to when we dated, but I knew he was still an asshole since while we fcked he kept making comments abt my bf to me. When we go to his place I sat on his bed and he handed me a whole baggie. Again, he didnt ask for anything in return, but I asked if he was down for another round, and he said yes. This time I sucked his dick and idk, my bf isnt small like at all but my ex is fckin huge. My bf says hes 6 inches (which does anyone actually confirm btw??? I just kinda accept what they say since i dont have a ruler lmao) and idk what my ex is, but its enough for 2 hands and the tip to be out.

Since I just sucked his dick and he was always good with pulling out, we decided to fck raw. I got on his bed and he gave me backshots I havent gotten since we dated. He spewed out more hateful shit abt my bf but I was getting railed so hard I just accepted whatever he was saying. He pulled out and shot all over my back and he cleaned up quick while I layed there catching my breathe. He tossed me my clothes and practically asked me to leave since his "girlfriend likes dropping by in the morning" which I didnt even know that he had, but not like it matters either way. He practically kicked me out and I was left on the street with my legs shaky out at 3 am.

So like I said before, Im broke asf and a Lyft back home was $57. I was freaking out since I couldnt afford it and was almost an hour and a half away from home. I obviously couldnt ask my parents so I just accepted my fate and called my bf. I woke him up and said I was out drinking with friends and couldnt drive home... he sent 60 no questions asked and to call him when we was home. I was floored and expected to be yelled at but he didnt. I got him, called him, hung up, and layed down in bed. I stared at the ceiling and though to myself "he didnt even question where I was?? I didnt even tell him I was going out tn. Does he really trust me that much?? Even the most loving of ppl would question it" and eventually slept.

Its been 2 weeks now and we are as normal as we ever were. I felt bad for days after but now? I feel oddly okay? Ive never cheated before and I assumed the guilt was gonna kill me but idk. I feel so normal that it feels not normal to feel this normal. Obviously this means I didnt and never loved my bf right?? or liked i guess since weve only been dating for a couple months but idk, I would buy my bf flowers, walked 2 hours just to see him at work and wait 4 hours til he was off thrice now, cant watch shows unless hes with me, but I cheated so easily and dont even feel bad abt it??? Idk thats my Tedison Talk ig