u/Infamous-Cod-5900

when i was in addiction taking 1mg bars a day i didnt even know that i was impaired all this time i thought everything was okay and this is just for my anxiety. i look back on old messages and .. it wasnt me at all. i acted so manipulatative and weird and edgy and embarassing. when me and my bf got into a fight i would literally come up with slurred paragraphs that meant nothing, or accusations of him doing all these things in the meanest way possible. and i said im gonna cut myself multiple times. why would i say that. i would never do any of this when i was sober?
but also how did he always go with it? how did he never notice lol notice that wasnt me and how odd i was acting for four months straight 😬

i cant beleive how much i put him through every message was a slur, every message made no sense or it was about 12-15 seperate texts about me obsessing over him telling the same things over and over but just in lots of different sentences while he was at work or couldnt answer me.

why does benzos do this? is it because you have no like barrier for things anymore? why did it make me into that? is that how i am deep down ? can someone explain this in scientific words please i really want to know

also idk if this is a sub to talk about this i just bet yall would have a good idea on why

when i was in addiction taking 1mg bars a day of clobromazolam i didnt even know that i was impaired all this time i thought everything was okay and this is just for my anxiety. i look back on old messages and .. it wasnt me at all. i acted so manipulatative and weird and edgy and embarassing. when me and my bf got into a fight i would literally come up with slurred paragraphs that meant nothing, or accusations of him doing all these things in the meanest way possible. and i said im gonna cut myself multiple times. why would i say that. i would never do any of this when i was sober?
but also how did he always go with it? how did he never notice lol notice that wasnt me and how odd i was acting for four months straight 😬

i cant beleive how much i put him through every message was a slur, every message made no sense or it was about 12-15 seperate texts about me obsessing over him telling the same things over and over but just in lots of different sentences while he was at work or couldnt answer me.

why does benzos do this? is it because you have no like barrier for things anymore? why did it make me into that? is that how i am deep down ? can someone explain this in scientific words please i really want to know

when i was in addiction taking 1mg bars a day of clobromazolam i didnt even know that i was impaired all this time i thought everything was okay and this is just for my anxiety. i look back on old messages and .. it wasnt me at all. i acted so manipulatative and weird and edgy and embarassing. when me and my bf got into a fight i would literally come up with slurred paragraphs that meant nothing, or accusations of him doing all these things in the meanest way possible. and i said im gonna cut myself multiple times. why would i say that. i would never do any of this when i was sober?
but also how did he always go with it? how did he never notice lol notice that wasnt me and how odd i was acting for four months straight 😬

i cant beleive how much i put him through every message was a slur, every message made no sense or it was about 12-15 seperate texts about me obsessing over him telling the same things over and over but just in lots of different sentences while he was at work or couldnt answer me.

why does benzos do this? is it because you have no like barrier for things anymore? why did it make me into that? is that how i am deep down ? can someone explain this in scientific words please i really want to know

i think back to my using times and i really dont know how nobody knew, or if they did but didnt care? i used daily maybe for 4-6weeks at school at work at my friends sleepover it was amazing i felt so good and i never thought anything was bad or i was doing anything weird.

but today i decided to check old messages i never looked at to my bf to see if i could like find anything. and oh my god it makes me feel so sick how he never knew. every paragraph was a slur of words all obbsesive talking i was so horny and care free i was saying thing i would never say before. i looked back at many arguements i had during and it was over the dumbest stuff and i wouldve been so mean so rude.

looking back at photos i used to send. obviously under the influence, my pupils dilated as heck and all droopy i would slur anything i texted. i feel so embarassed i have no memory of this, and if i do it would be little snippets.

at school, again how did no teachers notice how did NOBODY NOTICE???? heres some texts i sent tell me . would u think somebody like that was high off something. also i just said i woke up and was super tired as an excuse for this message
this was also after an arguement we had and i fell asleep before it was resolved, again i wouldnt never do that when sober and god i hate what i put him through and he still never knew this happened

"mJm sorry i was half asleeoy textinfbthat whay what j meant it tjag i miss you so much adn she finished her hair and i went tk sleep lol please have the best rime at work untillni come home i mjss my goooy besr"

also bruh bruh this drug sucks i embarassed myself so badly all i did was lie lie lie every voice note i sent was my voice so monotone and slow and he didnt notice im so glad im done with that it was crazy how i wasnt aware of what i was doing and thought everything was fine

please tell me yall embarassed yourselves like that? todays the day i realized how much damage that actually did god i heat up and i get so mad and guilty that i did this to him i hate myself so much

but i deriously miss them. i really miss feeling nothing but it did so much even tho it didnt effect anybody but me

would they ship to a kansas address… i know its dumbly illegal in all shapes in forms here just wondering if i can somehow go around that law and have this actually delivered here. next resort is js MO

would they ship to kansas or would it just be refused? do they got like a banned places they cant ship to, it says nothing in checkout so i am just making sure before i order

also would they leave it in my mailbox or on my door? would i gotta sign for it or whatever?

would they ship to kansas or would it just be refused? do they got like a banned places they cant ship to, it says nothing in checkout so i am just making sure before i order

also would they leave it in my mailbox or on my door? would i gotta sign for it or whatever?

hey i literally only took 100mgs for a nice body high that i love but everytime i get up to walk it gets really hard to breathe i mean i can but its super challenging

and when i lay or sit down its better but still pretty hard
this never has happened to me ive taken 400mgs and 500mgs one time 600mgs and thats never happened to me it was yesterday and i still feel a little off like forcing myself to breathe deep enough and stuff but its 100x better

ive used to take maybe 1mg-2mg everyday before school because i was dumb and hated life and i didnt really have expirience or a tolerance with benzos before ever and i knew how strong phenazolam was but i just loved the feeling it gave me.

ive been reading more posts of phenazolam and they say .25mgs made them easily barred out and im wondering how it looks to be like that because i used to take so much almost everyday and nobody seemed something was up. is it an appearence or certain actions you do? i mean i do remember having different actions i usually wouldnt do or just sleeping in the library half the day

the only reason i got caught was because i took it to far with 2mgs and constant weed intake and blacked out then when i got picked up was found out everything tooken away and whatever

but thats mostly just my question or how nobody ever seemed nothing was up or is it not that noticable?

why do i never feel the smoke go down my throat or that throaty sensation i feeel absolutely nothing but exhale lots of smoke, is this normal? im not a regular smoker but i noticed it feels like nothing when i inhale. i definitely do get high though. am i just not taking hard enough hits? does more smoke equal a hard hit? thank you reguards chihuahuas

also im this is really a dumb low quality question but im bored and just wanted to ask

why is it always during or after it when im tryna head to sleep i get the weirdest thoughts? i have no memory at all even tho it was just last night but i remember laying in bed looking admiring the afterglow when i wanted to sleep.

but my mind couldnt stop racing and i get the weirdest gorey idk dehumanizing thoughts? like thinking of a skinned arm on a kebab? like that type of stuff and its all things i wouldnt ever be able to think of sober. like right now i cant think of a single thing of what i was thinking of last night.

do you know why this happens? is it just me? does just dxm do this or is it many others that do this. i stayed up maybe about an hour of racing thoughts coming up with the weirdest things idk how i didnt freak myself out. it felt like a dream, thats the dissociative part right?

anyways please tell me if this happens to yall aswell on any drug i really want to know if one of you know why this happens or is it just a simple answer i cant think of.

dxm, why is it always during or after it when im tryna head to sleep i get the weirdest thoughts? i have no memory at all even tho it was just last night but i remember laying in bed looking admiring the afterglow when i wanted to sleep.

but my mind couldnt stop racing and i get the weirdest gorey idk dehumanizing thoughts? like thinking of a skinned arm on a kebab? like that type of stuff and its all things i wouldnt ever be able to think of sober. like right now i cant think of a single thing of what i was thinking of last night.

do you know why this happens? is it just me? does just dxm do this or is it many others that do this. i stayed up maybe about an hour of racing thoughts coming up with the weirdest things idk how i didnt freak myself out. it felt like a dream, thats the dissociative part right?

anyways please tell me if this happens to yall aswell on any drug i really want to know if one of you know why this happens or is it just a simple answer i cant think of.

hello guys, this is my fourth time trying dxm. and everytime it goes super well and everything, always low or mid 2nd plat, but whenveer i sleep i wake up with the most racing heart. ive learned how to calm myself down but is that just what dxm does? im a slow metabolizer so i think that the drug builds over while im asleep and gets too much for me to handle.

but get this... i took 60mgs for a reccomended dose because wow i actually had a cough and i got insanely high + racing heart after i woke up i mean full on tripping. im 97lbs and i absolutely live dxm i just want to know why its doing that, even with low doses? would i need to take like 40mg?? 😭

this might be a really dumb question but my trip was going fine it was going perfect, matter of fact, and i went out to make some food and there happens to be some people i call my family out there doing the same. were talking and stuff and blah blah i make food, i have mirrors in the living room which is connected to the kitchen i look in it, black VOIDS OF EYEBALLS black deep dark holes. idk how they didnt notice. but that made me instantly freak out i ran to my room my head got all cold and tingly, the only thing that was grounding me was drinking week old rootbeer from a wendys cup. i was like shaking immedietly and my heart was racing. this never happened before, i guess the time and place heavily matters wow look at me actually learning stuff
but it was like an off switch it was so fast how uncomfortable it got does anxiety really do that much??

pls tell me they go down. i have slowed metabolism so im pretty sure itll take 4+ days for the drug to clear, or thats how long it did last time. this trip was NOT planned. i look crazy. my eyes. look crazy. i took 60mgs. 60. and now i am crazy. whyd nobody tell me 60mgs would hit as strong as it is right now. i live and i learn. people. tell me. the eyes return to normal size SOON. i cant look at myself. i look like some type of creature.
thank you.

hello this is a follow up of a post i made kinda earlier but ive learned i had a enzyme slow metabolism thingy which causes me for 60mg to feel like MID 1ST PLAT which right now its 100% feeling more than that but i doubt it actually is. my eyes r scary they are huge even in light i might scoop them out if they do not look normal, i dont want my mother riding me up inside of my BUTT because i do have a history of certain substances but this trip was meant for tripping i cant lie but i wasnt expecting anything bc i was taking a reccommended dose.

i took 180mgs before, went to sleep, woke up with a really fast heart rate and dizzyness and im pooped straight and stayed up the entire day until this wears off. i also LEARNED THAT with this slowed metabolism thhhheeeeee dxm stays inside of MY BODY for around 4 days (as it did with the 180mgs.) pls js tell me my eyes go down sooner they r feeaking me out plus with the axiety i have right now i rather DIE than anyone see me looking like this okay sorry im such a little scaredy cat little tiny puss n boots ok i need sleep but i cant someone answer sorry about rambling ... also im 96lbs did i mention that idk
this is making me seem asnif i have a humiliation kink bruh im so tired why am i like this

my eyes arent that crazy like as if im on mdma or whatever but it kinda takes up my whole eye even in light and i do not wanna look like some creature right now
i swear everytime i look at it i feel dread and want to die i look so scary pls help someone

also ik dxm is not a psychedelic but dxm wants to get rid of my post freaking drugs wants to dissoctiative sub wants to everything wants to and you guys are knowledgeable please accept my offering and tell me if my eyes go down soon

hello this is a follow up of a post i made kinda earlier but ive learned i had a enzyme slow metabolism thingy which causes me for 60mg to feel like MID 1ST PLAT which right now its 100% feeling more than that but i doubt it actually is. my eyes r scary they are huge even in light i might scoop them out if they do not look normal, i dont want my mother riding me up inside of my BUTT because i do have a history of certain substances but this trip was meant for tripping i cant lie but i wasnt expecting anything bc i was taking a reccommended dose.

i took 180mgs before, went to sleep, woke up with a really fast heart rate and dizzyness and im pooped straight and stayed up the entire day until this wears off. i also LEARNED THAT with this slowed metabolism thhhheeeeee dxm stays inside of MY BODY for around 4 days (as it did with the 180mgs.) pls js tell me my eyes go down sooner they r feeaking me out plus with the axiety i have right now i rather DIE than anyone see me looking like this okay sorry im such a little scaredy cat little tiny puss n boots ok i need sleep but i cant someone answer sorry about rambling ... also im 96lbs did i mention that idk
this is making me seem asnif i have a humiliation kink bruh im so tired why am i like this

my eyes arent that crazy like as if im on mdma or whatever but it kinda takes up my whole eye even in light and i do not wanna look like some creature right now
i swear everytime i look at it i feel dread and want to die i look so scary pls help someone

hello guys. i did 60mgs. 60. the reccommended dose for ages 12 and up. tell me why i am high out of my mind, my perception is changing everything is wavy. i did 180mgs before and its really similar to this. i dont think im even in first plateu?? why is this happening my eyes r huge im shaky visuals r kinda crazy. is there a scientific reason for this? im 96lbs
its really crazy to look off into the dark it gets so confusing so quickly my eyes r pinned open

hello guys. i did 60mgs. 60. the reccommended dose for ages 12 and up. tell me why i am high out of my mind, my perception is changing everything is wavy. i did 180mgs before and its really similar to this. i dont think im even in first plateu?? why is this happening my eyes r huge im shaky visuals r kinda crazy. is there a scientific reason for this? im 96lbs
its really crazy to look off into the dark it gets so confusing so quickly my eyes r pinned open