u/Playful_Talk458

5'3 size 10 brunette size queen. Under 40s to the front 😉

45 [M4A] UK My wife [43 F] recently told be some details about past encounters and I really want to talk about them with someone

Last weekend was the 14th anniversary of my wife and I getting together. We always celebrate with a couple of days dedicated to how that first weekend together went - a long lazy weekend in bed together, with kiddo packed off to grandparents, and the time and the space to really indulge the strong physical attraction and sexual chemistry we have always had.

This particular anniversary was off the charts good. We went out Friday night for a dance. Got home around 1am. And then fucked until 8am! When we both then surfaced early Saturday afternoon, we went at it again, her still dressed in the naughty lingerie she'd put on the night before. We didn't just fuck with that insatiable lust we had for each other when we first met. We talked with openness and honesty about our relationship, our sex life, what we would both like/need to make it better, fantasies, favourite past memories, everything. It put me on a high that I rode happily through the following days. I felt so close to her, so in love with her, so in awe of her beauty, so lucky and grateful to have her.

I wanted to make sure that she knew how I was feeling, without having to be overly soppy or too touchy-feely (I'm very much like that naturally, so I feel like I have to keep it in check sometimes). She has always told me that her love language is acts of service, that the more I do for her unbidden, the more loved she feels. So I've been really stepping up taking on extra turns with school runs, dog walks, kids clubs etc, making sure chores at home get done. Because I want her to know how much I appreciate and love her.

Then yesterday we were talking about various day-to-day logistics, and I said I'll do x, y and z. She looked at me with her big beautiful eyes and said, "Thank you, you're being so sweet - what's brought this on? Oh hang on, I know why..." She was smiling and it was good natured, and we had a bit of banter about how a night of sex turned me into the perfect husband. And then she said: "It's pretty shallow really, isn't it?"

I didn't think anything of it at the time and laughed it off. But ever since, it has been gnawing away at me. Is that what she thinks - that I'm shallow because I want to show my appreciation for a great time together? That good sex makes me feel close to her and reminds me of how much I love her?

Now I know what some of the responses should be - you shouldn't need sex to love and appreciate your wife, you should be doing all you can for her all the time etc etc. But let's live in the real world a minute. We both work full time, have a child, a house to keep in a reasonable state of order, meals to cook, bills to manage, and we try to live a full and fulfilling life on top of that. In the midst of all that, at the core of it all, there's a relationship that was founded on a strong mutual attraction and fantastic sex on a daily basis (literally), but we just aren't in a position to live like there's nothing else in the world but each other these days. Sex is less frequent than I think either of us would like, we spread out attention thin around lots of different things and as a result, we can easily drift along like room mates for weeks at a time, taking each other for granted that it's fine, the other will still be there when we need them, before we find the time and mental space to come together again.

Am I really shallow because, in the afterglow of one of those said times, I really want to make a conscious effort to continue to show my love and appreciation?? I'm surprised how much it has stung me to be honest, although I do have a very high sex drive and I've always been conscious of being a 'pest' to her. Now she seems to think that if I'm trying to be a 'good husband' it's because I want something in return... last night I was really horny in bed but I didn't dare make a move on her in case she was thinking 'oh yeah, of course, this is why he did all those things.'

I don't really know what to do, I've been avoiding her all day.

I (45 m) have a very longstanding fantasy for my wife (43 f) to have sex with other guys. I first told her about this fantasy over 10 years ago. She has never said, no, that's not something I could ever do. In fact, she admits that the idea turns her on, and her stock response if you asked her if it was something she'd ever consider doing for real would be along the lines of 'maybe one day'.

Over the years, the extent to which it has featured as a discussion point or as a shared fantasy in our sex life has ebbed and flowed. There was a time when, looking back, I realise I pushed too hard - I'd try to bring it up most times we had sex, I pushed for us to talk to guys online etc. She ended up telling me it was too much so I backed off. We became parents, life changed, it disappeared on the back burner for several years. It was actually her that brought it up again, telling me a scenario where she 'could see herself trying something like that', a music festival she wanted to go to where we'd stay in a hotel rather than camping in a crowded field. Nothing happened, but it was back to being a topic of conversation again, although I'm wary these days (perhaps too wary) to bring it up too often, so months often go by without any mention at all.

This weekend, we had one of our most open and frank discussions about it in a long time. And she did something I don't think she's ever done before - instead of asking me what I wanted / what I imagined happening, she asked me how I would FEEL if she fucked another guy. She got quite specific - "so you say I have a free pass, what if I met someone and fucked him then told you about it later, would you be ok with that?" "How do you know you wouldn't feel hurt and blame me if I did do something?" "Are you sure this is something you can handle?"

I don't think for a minute this is her considering actually doing something and testing the waters. It feels to me like her finally admitting what the main barrier for her is - she's worried that I won't like the reality and it will blow things up between us. I 100% understand it's a valid concern, and I know I have no way of knowing how I'd feel about it for real. So what I said to her was, I've fantasised about this for so long, it's something I'd genuinely like to try. If I didn't like it, I absolutely wouldn't blame you - it's on me for telling you I want this. And that I think I'd be able to compartmentalise it and move on.

I'd be interested in hearing from anyone with more experience what your thoughts are on this. Did you or your SO have similar misgivings? How did you handle them? Is there anything I can do to reassure her?

My wife and I are long time drug sex lovers, MDMA has been a go-to since we met and she absolutely loves bumping coke throughout a horny session, it really unlocks her wild side. A few months ago, we decided to try a 'CK' (coke / ket) mix late in a session, I'm usually careful about coke if sex is on the cards as I can really struggle to get hard on it, but on this occasion as I'd already cum a couple of times I didn't really care too much, I was happy to pleasure her. So we did the CK lines, it had been a long time since I'd done it and I'd forgotten how good it was - the buzz of the coke and the wobbliness of the ket just really work together, but I also felt a very obvious physical stimulation and arousal from it. With my gorgeous wife lay there in her lingerie, I couldn't resist, I dove down between her legs and started eating her out like a man possessed. Her wetness, taste, scent, the way she writhed and moaned as my tongue eagerly explored her clit, labia and pussy hole - it was all like the amp had been turned up to 11, and to my surprise I soon found myself sporting an achingly hard erection. We fucked for what must have been the fifth or sixth time that night and it was absolutely feral, we were completely lost in the moment and we went at it until we'd both cum and collapsed into each other's arms sweating, exhausted and with wtf jut happened grinned on our faces. We both agreed afterwards that in terms of intensity it had been up there with acid sex!

This past weekend we rolled on MDMA, but my wife was keen to replicate the CK experience again so she started on bumps of those two mixed. I'm never quite sure MDMA and coke mix all that well so I decided I'd blend up some ket and MDMA and match her bumps. The same thing again - the euphoric, loved up sexiness of mandy was layered with this goofy in-body horniness that from the previous experience I can only conclude was from the ket. We were up until 8am fucking lol. She worked her way through every dildo and vibrator we own, we talked with beautiful honesty and openness about our fantasies, likes, past experiences we'd like to live again, new things we'd like to try... I feel like we've found a cheat code, as 14 years in the last couple of sexy nights have been right up with the best we've ever had. Anyone else had any similar experiences on ket-stim combinations?

She is 43 from the UK and very cute