Just adding to the constant insecurities, I guess. Lately on top of everything else I have noticed how little I produce when I ejaculate. I've seen so many women with stories about how they like to be filled up and men being seen as pathetic or weak for not providing the feeling. It's honestly ruining even my alone time because seeing the end result is just depressing me.
Me: 40ish male, 5'8"/173cm and ~150lbs/70kg
Her: 40ish female, 5'4"/163cm and ~175lbs/79kg
This will be our first time with 4MMC, though we are experienced with other drugs, including MDMA (last rolled 2 months ago). We have access to 10 pressed pills containing 200mg each, but I do have a crusher and milligram scale for more precise measurements. She is 100% against boofing or snorting, so it has to be oral ROI. We plan on an early date night, with maybe *a* glass of wine with dinner, and then getting a hotel room with all of our favorite toys and accessories for afterward. I'll likely be taking 10-20mg Cialis as well (she usually takes 10mg with MDMA, but I'm concerned whether it's worth the additional risk for her with this new stuff).
Appreciate advice from anyone who has experience taking it, especially taking it with SOs for intimacy.
No, not that kind! Get your mind out of the gutter, you perverts!
Or don't, I suppose, because I'm not going to preclude that from being part of the journey.
One of the things MDMA is most known for, of course, is being the "love drug." In addition to the empathy and love for your fellow human beings and the world, something I've heard come up a lot is how healing it can be, especially for people with CPTSD.
In full disclosure, I've probably got some form of body dysmorphia, which I know isn't the same but still. I don't need to get into the weeds and talking about the specifics probably won't be good for my mental health, anyway. I'm intending to use my next roll as a solo experience to practice some self-love and healing over my deep-seated dislike of my body. (I am in traditional talk therapy as well, to be clear - I know MDMA alone is not a solution.)
But since I'm in the middle of a tolerance break, I won't get the opportunity to do so for another month-ish. I was hoping that I could find some positivity here in the meantime.
I'll likely post something similar in the psychedelics subreddit for shrooms, since that's a "lighter" option I've been considering, but I'm open to any non-MDMA or flip experiences here as well.
So, anyone here have some stories of rolls/trips - solo or otherwise - where you found some healing and managed to foster love inward as well as outward?
My fiancée introduced me to MDMA about two years ago now, and we've done it a handful of times since then. The very first time, though I knew little about it and hadn't realized it would make an erection impossible for me (too high of a dose), we did pretty much every other sexual thing under the sun and, as you could probably imagine if you are the type to enjoy sex on molly, it was pure ✨️magic✨️.
The issue now is I would like to experience other things on molly, but because we can't do it that often, not having sex feels like a wasted opportunity. I tell myself we will try some other things this roll, but once it hits, it's literally all either of us can think about. (Well, at least she says it's the same for her.)
Especially because I can't finish - not complaining since the entire session feels like the finish line - and she's multiorgasmic, there is kind of never a stopping point. We pause to hydrate but we are then right back to it.
For those of you who do have sex on molly, do you ever manage to incorporate other things into the roll? I've read so many stories of people having MDMA help them overcome traumas or learn something about themselves or emotionally bond with their SO or friends in nonphysical ways. I'd like to experience that but, especially since my inhibitions are down, I can't seem to shut off the libidinous part of my brain long enough to go anywhere else.
I'm not sure the best flair since there isn't one for 4MMC or research chemicals, so I hope this is close since I've heard it compared to MDMA.
My fiancée and I are experienced with chemsex, most often LSD but we also used to incorporate shrooms - before they stopped working for her for whatever reason - and we'll occasionally take MDMA or candyflip, though we do it less often for obvious reasons. I suppose technically weed as well but she's a daily smoker for her anxiety so she no longer really gets "high" from it - although I personally find marijuana edibles to be a totally underrated chemsex drug, since they're one of the few that don't inhibit orgasm. And hoo boy, do those orgasms last. I'm usually not a super vocal person when it comes to climaxing but damn I feel like I can't help it when it's on top of an Indica body buzz.
After much discussion, she has opened to the possibility of trying 4MMC. (I'm personally also intrigued by Moxy, but she is a bit more hesitant with new substances and likely that will never come to fruition.) Since we are trying a new substance, I really want to make this a novel experience!
First question is, for the men, how much slidanefil/tadalafil did it take to overcome the ED for you? I have access to plenty of both thanks to refilling two Rxs I only truthfully need for these evenings.
Secondly, we have 10 200mg pills - I'm approximately 70kg and she is 79kg. I'm a bit afraid of underdosing and not having a great time, though obviously overdosing is also a concern. I checked erowid and couldn't find recommended low/mid/high doses like I could for MDMA?
Finally, I want this to be special. We've got lube and toys - a 7" dildo, a bullet vibe, a rabbit g-spot/dual combo, cock rings, and I'm considering a pussy and penis pump for both of us respectively to help with the inorganic and potential ED in my case - massage oil, a laptop, an RGB light, Bluetooth speaker, and some games to play before we get down to business. Just wondering if anyone has any further suggestions for a het couple in a longterm relationship? (Please no piss or scat - not yucking anyone's yum, but it is not our thing.) I don't mind investing a little more if it requires additional accessories.
Also wouldn't mind a third but finding another woman (the only third she wants) would be kind of hard on such short notice lol.
Edit: formatting - what the hell happened to the Reddit app lately? Lol
Just curious for the husbands, how often do you go down? And is it as much as you'd like? And for the wives, how often does your partner go down? Is it as often as you'd like? And for either, is it mostly for your enjoyment or theirs?
My fiancée is about to hit her period so she's closing down the buffet for the next several days, and in full disclosure, I am living vicariously until then. I got my "last meal" yesterday, plus she gave me a special treat a few days ago by sitting on my face after years of feeling too self-conscious (she's on the thicc side, especially her ass and thighs, so she was worried it would be too much - I'm sure the other men here understand the irony of that fear) which has me feeling particularly obsessive.
Was recently reminded that only big dicks are good and if any woman says she likes yours for what it is, she is lying.
I think I'm done, everyone. I just am sick of living knowing I'm a disappointment and always will be. Happiness isn't possible, and I'm tired of chasing it.
Everything else in life has ceased to matter. Work or family or friends, it just brings me nothing. No joy or sense of accomplishment. I have been asking myself why I'm doing these things for so long. I never feel good enough, regardless, and I don't ever like anything else I'm doing.
My interest in anything else has slowly withered on the vine. I know to people who don't understand why this is so rough it probably seems like a silly thing to affect the rest of my life, but it's just too much to constantly live with the anxiety then the depression then rinse and repeat.
I appreciate this space having been here to let me scream into the void.
I'll be honest, I'm just looking for some hope here. I've heard all the, "it's not about your dick" and "learn to use toys/fingers/tongue" and "most women don't cum from PIV." I'm not looking for a debate whether size matters - obviously it does in ways, even if it isn't exactly how we all interpret the expression.
It's just that every time there's a comment or a post with a woman talking about her partner's pecker, the gushing usually includes some remark about how huge/enormous/thick/etc it is.
I'm not asking theoreticals, but actual women in actual relationships with actual men. Just trying to see if there's any legitimate hope for us average fellas (maybe even the smaller fellas too 😬), or if the most we have to look forward to is cucking, stagging, or indifference?
I recently posted elsewhere about how to talk to my partner about plans to start an enlargement routine. Am I aware it likely won't work? Yeah. But I need to try something.
I was clear - I'm not interested in toys or sleeves, and I know the surgeries don't really do what I want while costing quite a bit more. But most pertinently, I don't want to use big dildos or sleeves - I want a body and a dick that a woman would actually love; not tolerate. Not overlook. Love.
If you spend any amount of time in sexual spaces, no matter what the focus is, you encounter women gushing with love and adoration for their partners' big cocks. Lurid descriptions of its size and thickness and how good it makes her feel. There's almost a religious sort of reverence.
When I mentioned wanting that, the wrath was immediate and forceful. What a buffoon and an idiot I was. Most women don't cum from PIV, but I should use the sleeve anyway! Get over myself! How dare I ask for what those other men get? I'm a horrific evil piece of shit who only cares for himself and I need to set my ego aside and accept my dick is an ugly, pathetic, useless little thing that should be covered by toys or removed as much as possible to relegate myself to just foreplay and oral and be grateful when she resigns herself to boring ass PIV for my sake.
It's not just that life already sucks and you're denied this enormously validating, pleasurable experience other men are gifted as an accident of genetics. It's that everyone else wants you to know your place and never complain, never want anything else, and accept being a leftover man. An afterthought no woman will ever want as he is. And be thrilled with it while you pretend to fuck her with toys or just go full cuckold and learn to get off from being excluded in your own sex life.
This caste system and the hatred for ever wanting out of your station really has convinced me more than anything about the importance of size. It's not only your worth as a lover or sexual partner, but your worth and what you deserve as a man period.
I'm just so fucking done, guys. Seriously.