u/Local-Goose-9453

Just wanted to circle back and say a massive thank you to everyone who offered advice, hotel recs, and bar suggestions on my last post. This group is seriously a goldmine of wisdom, and I really appreciate you all taking the time to help a newcomer out.

Quick update: Room is booked, dress is ordered, and the extras are on their way—all thanks to your tips. She's going to feel like a million bucks.

We're both looking forward to this—it's a fun little baby step and a new adventure for us. The bet is set for a couple weeks from now. Truthfully? I'm hoping to win. I'd love for her to get hit on, feel seen, and enjoy being the sexy woman I already know she is. I've encouraged her to flirt back if she's comfortable—no pressure, just good vibes and whatever unfolds.

Wish us luck! We'll report back afterward. 🥂

Big thanks—and a countdown!

Just wanted to circle back and say a massive thank you to everyone who offered advice, hotel recs, and bar suggestions on my last post. This group is seriously a goldmine of wisdom, and I really appreciate you all taking the time to help a newcomer out.

Quick update: Room is booked, dress is ordered, and the extras are on their way—all thanks to your tips. She's going to feel like a million bucks.

We're both looking forward to this—it's a fun little baby step and a new adventure for us. The bet is set for a couple weeks from now. Truthfully? I'm hoping to win. I'd love for her to get hit on, feel seen, and enjoy being the sexy woman I already know she is. I've encouraged her to flirt back if she's comfortable—no pressure, just good vibes and whatever unfolds.

Wish us luck! We'll report back afterward. 🥂

Not really seeking anything. Just wanted to say thanks to so many of you. My wife agreed to go to a bar and allow herself to be hot on. It’s coming up. She selected a few dresses. I ordered them and all supporting accessories/clothing. We are gonna have a fun night. She’s not a hotwife, but knows my fantasy. She’s taking me up on the bet that she will get hit on. Just some simple fun.
I had asked for some advice here on good places/bars to go out, suggestion for websites for dresses and a lot of you came through. I appreciate all the suggestions, advice and insight. Especially since we never get to go out.
We are gonna have a good night here soon. Gonna check out the Lafayette Hotel and bar. Her dress is on the way.
Thanks all.

Not really seeking anything. Just wanted to say thanks to so many of you. My wife agreed to go to a bar and allow herself to be hot on. It’s coming up. She selected a few dresses. I ordered them and all supporting accessories/clothing. We are gonna have a fun night. She’s not a hotwife, but knows my fantasy. She’s taking me up on the bet that she will get hit on. Just some simple fun.
I had asked for some advice here on good places/bars to go out, suggestion for websites for dresses and a lot of you came through. I appreciate all the suggestions, advice and insight. Especially since we never get to go out.
We are gonna have a good night here soon. Gonna check out the Lafayette Hotel and bar. Her dress is on the way.
Thanks all.

So my wife is still a “No.” It’s fine. No hurry. We are roleplaying and having loads of fun. From my limited experience and knowledge it seems to me most women start that way. Perhaps I’m wrong. It’s all my idea of course.
Our first adventure is to going to a bar so she can be hit on in the wild and I’m just going to watch. Safety and I’d like to watch. Very excited, trying to be cool about it.
Here is an observation based on my lurking around subreddits. It appears that many of you started off as participants and watching them grew into her going on solo adventures. For the life of me, I cant imagine being okay with that. Then again, I never thought when I was younger I’d like to watch my wife get fucked. So perhaps this is an evolution of the relationship and growth.
What led you to become comfortable and created the desire for you as the husband to want for your wife to go solo? If you asked me right now, I’d say not interested. Then again, perhaps I will grow into that. These are all things we dirty talk and roleplay. Then casually mention in normal talk. So I am trying to be open and evolve as and when needed. Thanks for sharing your story

I came back into our room last night to find my wife (45) had set up our sleeve in the heating pad with lube and had her wand out. She was laying on the bed looking lean and trim with no bottoms and just one button done on her pj top.
She loves the sleeve! We got it in December and now she wants it nearly every time.
I of course started kissing from the bottom up getting that button on my way. By the time I got to kiss her. She was incredibly wet. I told her I love
That she loves to get fucked by a big dick. To which she replied, not all the time. Just most of the time. Once we warmed up a bit more the sleeve went on and I truly enjoy watching her face lust with hunger when it goes on. She just wants. It’s incredible.
Slid in, she was on top and enjoyed watching her eyes just roll back. I tease her a bit and she can’t take it. She leans forward and whispers in my ear. “You need to fuck me hard.”
Toss her in her back and pound her sweet pussy. She grabs her wand and cums with so much intensity.
Couldn’t do that without the sleeve.
This is too much fun at times.
Best sex toy investment!

Bought my wife a new dress. Going to take her out to a bar and let watch her at the bar.
Who has a good suggestion for a bar where she’s likely to get hit on? Need a nearby hotel to stay at. So nothing way out.
Appreciate the suggestions

Update: loads of DM’s, some very good suggestions came in. Some were the usual ones we’d expect. I was unaware of one or two all together. So that’s fun. Here’s the list of suggestions. Just FYI.
1-Lafayette Hotel North Park
2-Coyote Bar & Grill Carlsbad
3-Rumba Lounge Downtown (more of a night club)
4-Starlite Little Italy
5-Altitude Sky Lounge Downtown
6-Shore Club PB

I’m thinking Lafayette for us, something new, never been could be fun. These were the bars suggested most. Best to you all.

Wife’s getting dressed up and we are going out to a bar. Gonna watch and see what happens.
Can you suggest a good bar to take her to get hit on? Need a nearby hotel for us to stay at. Appreciate any suggestions

For Father’s Day. My wife agreed to go out a bar. She’s never noticed when guys flirt. Kinda oblivious. I bet if she allowed herself to, she would be hit on with in 30 minutes. She doesn’t think it’ll happen.
Here’s where I need help. I want to treat her to a nice new dress, get her hair done and of course nails. I just want her to feel great. Shopping for a dress is difficult. I would like to suggest something classy and still sexy. No over the top, but alluring. She’s a medium build all the way. Can any wives here suggest dresses or good places to look at for shopping online? Her typical wear would be jeans. So she’s doing the dress because I love to see her in them. Nothing too short, or neck line plunging. Please help! Suggestions are so welcome!!! Thank you all

Ordered our 1st and only sleeve back in December. She now loves it. My question for those of you with multiple sleeves. Has your wife wanted a color that’s not the same as your skin tone? Does it somehow keep the fantasy variety for her?
Appreciate your time. Thanks

Purchased our BC sleeve at the end of 2025. It arrived mid January due to holiday delays. It took about 2 months for her to get accustomed to since it’s much bigger than anything she’s ever had.
Fast forward to last night.
She asks for it every time we have sex now. I love watching her and all the pleasure. Taking it and slapping it on her clit drives her wild. By the time I actually enter her, she’s begging for it. My newest addition to our collection is a Wand. I have stretched her pussy, she likes all the different ways I can hit her insides and then adding the wand to her clit, especially when doing doggy makes her cum so hard she is ready to pass out. After she cums I pull off the sleeve and pound her as hard as I can. It sends her over the edge. Las night I fucked her from behind and when I finished, I could tell she was barely hanging on. So I pushed her forward and she collapsed into a state of bliss and passed out almost instantaneously.

I keep finding little tricks or nuances that are driving her over the top. Her dirty talk has leveled up, she asked to be fucked more and she loves the stretch.

What other tips or success have you had that I can try to continue to improve and get her to that place in new or different ways? Appreciate your experience. Thanks…

My wife is not open to being a hotwife. So okay, no pressure. We role play every now and then for me. Fair.
Last night, while just having flirty fun conversation we somehow got onto being hit on. I said it’s easy for a woman to go out and get hit on. My wife maintains that it doesn’t happen to her or ever really. I reminded her of a few times it happened when we went out and I went to the restroom or was getting drinks. She of course did not recall.
Then I bet her. We could go out and I could watch for her safety and she’d get hit on within half an hour or so. Mind you, I’m 49 she’s 45 and we just don’t ever get to go out. I said that if she got cleaned up, it would happen.
She looked at me to my shock and said she will take that bet. So around Father’s Day we will go out to have a mini adventure and play out this bet.

In my wisdom, I put all the info into Claude and came up with this. Perhaps you can use it.
If you have any suggestions to help me win the bet I’d appreciate it. I’d like to win this one mostly for “I told you so” rights. We are in San Diego and I already started looking around for the right atmosphere/age group/hotel(maybe) for us to stay at/looking to set myself up for the win. I appreciate your wisdom fellas/ladies.
This is all in good fun, no pressure for anything else to happen. We will work out a signal to come get her if needed.

THE BET
Parties: Husband and Wife
Date: Friday or Saturday evening, [date TBD]
Location: [Bar TBD, mutually agreed upon]
PREMISE
Husband contends that it is easy for a woman to get hit on at a bar — that women have their pick and approaches happen routinely. Wife disputes this, maintaining that it does not happen to her and that she does not get hit on. To settle the disagreement, Wife will sit at a bar alone while Husband observes from a safe distance to ensure her wellbeing.
TIME FRAME
The evening window will be either 8:00–10:00pm or 9:00–11:00pm (chosen in advance). Wife will be seated at the bar and order a drink. The 30-minute clock starts the moment her drink is placed in front of her. If a man initiates and sustains a flirtatious interaction within those 30 minutes, Husband wins. If 30 minutes pass with no qualifying interaction, Wife wins.
PRE-GAME PREPARATION (no exceptions, no excuses)
Wife must be at her best so the bet is fair on both sides. In the week leading up to the bet, Wife will:
• Get her hair done
• Get a manicure
• Get a pedicure
Skipping any of these forfeits the bet to Husband.
ATTIRE
Wife will dress attractively. The outfit is chosen collaboratively. Each party gets three vetoes on clothing items. Final outfit must be agreed on before leaving the house.
CONDUCT REQUIREMENTS
Wife must sit upright with open, confident, warm, and inviting body language. No phone burial, no sulking, no closed-off posture, no headphones. She must appear approachable and available for conversation. Violating this voids the bet and Husband wins by default.
HUSBAND’S COACHING ALLOWANCE
During the 30-minute window, Husband is permitted up to three (3) coaching cues sent to Wife by text message. Each cue must be drawn from the pre-agreed list below, and cues must be spaced at least 5 minutes apart. Cues will be delivered warmly and supportively — never as criticism. Wife must make a genuine effort to follow each cue. Ignoring or deliberately undermining a cue voids the bet and Husband wins by default.
Positive reinforcement (e.g. “Perfect,” “That’s it,” “You’re killing it”) does NOT count against the three-cue limit and may be sent freely.
APPROVED COACHING CUES (delivered hype-man style)

1. Sit up / shoulders back — “You look stunning right now. Sit up so the whole room can see it.”
2. Hair touch or tuck — “Tuck your hair behind your ear for me. I love when you do that.”
3. Smile and scan the room — “Look up and give the room that smile of yours. The one that got me.”
4. Angle body outward from the bar — “Turn yourself a little toward the room. Let them see you the way I do.”
5. Put the phone away — “Put the phone down, beautiful. Nothing on there is worth missing this moment.”
6. Sip drink while looking up, not down — “Next sip, eyes up. Watch the room over your glass.”
7. Run a finger slowly along the rim of the glass — “Trace the rim of your glass slowly. I’m watching.”
8. Confidence reset (use when she’s in her head) — “Stop looking for me. Every guy in there is already looking at you.”
   OPENING TEXT (does not count against the three cues)
   When her drink lands and the clock starts, Husband will send one opening text to set the tone. Example: “You’re the best looking woman in here. Clock starts now.”
   WHAT COUNTS AS “GETTING HIT ON”
   Any of the following qualify:
   • Direct asks (number, dance, drink, name, where she’s from in a flirty tone)
   • A man initiating conversation AND orienting his body toward her to sustain it (turning his torso, leaning in, holding eye contact)
   • A man buying her a drink or sending one over
   • Compliments on her appearance
   • Lingering conversation past initial pleasantries with clear interest signals
   WHAT DOES NOT COUNT
   • Bartender doing their job
   • Someone asking to grab the seat next to her
   • A quick “excuse me” to pass by
   • A woman striking up conversation
   JUDGMENT CALLS
   Husband observes and calls it in real time, but Wife has the right to dispute. If disputed, they discuss after and agree. If they can’t agree, the bet is a draw and they plan the weekend together.
   SAFETY CLAUSE
   Wife can end the bet at any time by signaling Husband (agreed-upon signal: [TBD]). Safety overrides the bet with no penalty to either party.
   STAKES
   If Husband wins: Wife plans a weekend away built entirely around Husband’s preferences — activities, dining, and logistics.
   If Wife wins: Husband plans a weekend away built entirely around Wife’s preferences — activities, dining, and logistics.
   Budget cap: $[TBD]
   AGREED BY:
   Husband ______________________ Date _________
   Wife ______________________ Date _________

My wife is not open to being a hotwife. So okay, no pressure. We role play every now and then for me. Fair.
Last night, while just having flirty fun conversation we somehow got onto being hit on. I said it’s easy for a woman to go out and get hit on. My wife maintains that it doesn’t happen to her or ever really. I reminded her of a few times it happened when we went out and I went to the restroom or was getting drinks. She of course did not recall.
Then I bet her. We could go out and I could watch for her safety and she’d get hit on within half an hour or so. Mind you, I’m 49 she’s 45 and we just don’t ever get to go out. I said that if she got cleaned up, it would happen.
She looked at me to my shock and said she will take that bet. So around Father’s Day we will go out to have a mini adventure and play out this bet.

In my wisdom, I put all the info into Claude and came up with this. Perhaps you can use it.
If you have any suggestions to help me win the bet I’d appreciate it. I’d like to win this one mostly for “I told you so” rights. We are in San Diego and I already started looking around for the right atmosphere/age group/hotel(maybe) for us to stay at/looking to set myself up for the win. I appreciate your wisdom fellas/ladies.
This is all in good fun, no pressure for anything else to happen. We will work out a signal to come get her if needed.

THE BET
Parties: Husband and Wife
Date: Friday or Saturday evening, [date TBD]
Location: [Bar TBD, mutually agreed upon]
PREMISE
Husband contends that it is easy for a woman to get hit on at a bar — that women have their pick and approaches happen routinely. Wife disputes this, maintaining that it does not happen to her and that she does not get hit on. To settle the disagreement, Wife will sit at a bar alone while Husband observes from a safe distance to ensure her wellbeing.
TIME FRAME
The evening window will be either 8:00–10:00pm or 9:00–11:00pm (chosen in advance). Wife will be seated at the bar and order a drink. The 30-minute clock starts the moment her drink is placed in front of her. If a man initiates and sustains a flirtatious interaction within those 30 minutes, Husband wins. If 30 minutes pass with no qualifying interaction, Wife wins.
PRE-GAME PREPARATION (no exceptions, no excuses)
Wife must be at her best so the bet is fair on both sides. In the week leading up to the bet, Wife will:
• Get her hair done
• Get a manicure
• Get a pedicure
Skipping any of these forfeits the bet to Husband.
ATTIRE
Wife will dress attractively. The outfit is chosen collaboratively. Each party gets three vetoes on clothing items. Final outfit must be agreed on before leaving the house.
CONDUCT REQUIREMENTS
Wife must sit upright with open, confident, warm, and inviting body language. No phone burial, no sulking, no closed-off posture, no headphones. She must appear approachable and available for conversation. Violating this voids the bet and Husband wins by default.
HUSBAND’S COACHING ALLOWANCE
During the 30-minute window, Husband is permitted up to three (3) coaching cues sent to Wife by text message. Each cue must be drawn from the pre-agreed list below, and cues must be spaced at least 5 minutes apart. Cues will be delivered warmly and supportively — never as criticism. Wife must make a genuine effort to follow each cue. Ignoring or deliberately undermining a cue voids the bet and Husband wins by default.
Positive reinforcement (e.g. “Perfect,” “That’s it,” “You’re killing it”) does NOT count against the three-cue limit and may be sent freely.
APPROVED COACHING CUES (delivered hype-man style)
1. Sit up / shoulders back — “You look stunning right now. Sit up so the whole room can see it.”
2. Hair touch or tuck — “Tuck your hair behind your ear for me. I love when you do that.”
3. Smile and scan the room — “Look up and give the room that smile of yours. The one that got me.”
4. Angle body outward from the bar — “Turn yourself a little toward the room. Let them see you the way I do.”
5. Put the phone away — “Put the phone down, beautiful. Nothing on there is worth missing this moment.”
6. Sip drink while looking up, not down — “Next sip, eyes up. Watch the room over your glass.”
7. Run a finger slowly along the rim of the glass — “Trace the rim of your glass slowly. I’m watching.”
8. Confidence reset (use when she’s in her head) — “Stop looking for me. Every guy in there is already looking at you.”
OPENING TEXT (does not count against the three cues)
When her drink lands and the clock starts, Husband will send one opening text to set the tone. Example: “You’re the best looking woman in here. Clock starts now.”
WHAT COUNTS AS “GETTING HIT ON”
Any of the following qualify:
• Direct asks (number, dance, drink, name, where she’s from in a flirty tone)
• A man initiating conversation AND orienting his body toward her to sustain it (turning his torso, leaning in, holding eye contact)
• A man buying her a drink or sending one over
• Compliments on her appearance
• Lingering conversation past initial pleasantries with clear interest signals
WHAT DOES NOT COUNT
• Bartender doing their job
• Someone asking to grab the seat next to her
• A quick “excuse me” to pass by
• A woman striking up conversation
JUDGMENT CALLS
Husband observes and calls it in real time, but Wife has the right to dispute. If disputed, they discuss after and agree. If they can’t agree, the bet is a draw and they plan the weekend together.
SAFETY CLAUSE
Wife can end the bet at any time by signaling Husband (agreed-upon signal: [TBD]). Safety overrides the bet with no penalty to either party.
STAKES
If Husband wins: Wife plans a weekend away built entirely around Husband’s preferences — activities, dining, and logistics.
If Wife wins: Husband plans a weekend away built entirely around Wife’s preferences — activities, dining, and logistics.
Budget cap: $[TBD]
AGREED BY:
Husband ______________________ Date _________
Wife ______________________ Date _________