u/soulpoker

I've been struggling with my sexuality for years, and I'm ready to start being with guys. At 54 I also realize this is unusually late to start this kind of thing, but you got to start sometime! And it's better late than never. And being Pride Month I've decided to put an extra effort into being more conscious of the gay side of my sexuality.

One of the ways I would like to explore homosexuality is through the framework of BDSM. Submitting myself completely sexually to a member of the same sex would be an interesting exercise for me, from two perspectives. It could be a framework whereby I can explore my homosexuality consistently and safely. It could also help me get rid of any hangups about guys I might have, or even other hangups, by forcing me to confront my limits.

Of course it would take awhile before I could build the right relationship and trust level with the right older man.

I'm a 54 year old single guy. Pretty open minded, open to anything that's safe, sane and discreet. Kind of an introvert. Looking for a man old enough to be my father who knows how to take control of me but also cares. And is good in the sack lmao!

Pretty open to any BDSM things, though not too keen on puppy, feet or adult baby stuff. I'll do the first two but adult baby is just not my thing at all. Really wanna try bondage. I'm more for tying me up for positions for sex though tying me up for its own sake would be nice. Also love the idea of CMNM. I'm a bit self conscious about being naked like a lot of people are so that makes it all the more humiliating for me, and kinky. Also love the idea of humiliation. You can invite your friends to watch, or even join in.

Like the title implies I'm also open to sharing myself with a male couple if each guy is agreeable.

Please don't reply if your married or involved unless your spouse/bf/gf/whatever knows about it and is 100% OK with it. Not trying to judge, just don't wanna get involved.

Not looking to commit for too long a period of time or be exclusive, but wanna develop some kind of relationship. I realize this kind of relationship is intense by nature so it can't help be some kind of relationship.

I've been struggling with my sexuality for years, and I'm ready to start being with guys. At 54 I also realize this is unusually late to start this kind of thing, but you got to start sometime! And it's better late than never. And being Pride Month I've decided to put an extra effort into being more conscious of the gay side of my sexuality.

One of the ways I would like to explore homosexuality is through the framework of BDSM. Submitting myself completely sexually to a member of the same sex would be an interesting exercise for me, from two perspectives. It could be a framework whereby I can explore my homosexuality consistently and safely. It could also help me get rid of any hangups about guys I might have, or even other hangups, by forcing me to confront my limits.

Of course it would take awhile before I could build the right relationship and trust level with the right older man.

I'm a 54 year old single guy. Pretty open minded, open to anything that's safe, sane and discreet. Kind of an introvert. Looking for a man old enough to be my father who knows how to take control of me but also cares. And is good in the sack lmao!

Pretty open to any BDSM things, though not too keen on puppy, feet or adult baby stuff. I'll do the first two but adult baby is just not my thing at all. Really wanna try bondage. I'm more for tying me up for positions for sex though tying me up for its own sake would be nice. Also love the idea of CMNM. I'm a bit self conscious about being naked like a lot of people are so that makes it all the more humiliating for me, and kinky. Also love the idea of humiliation. You can invite your friends to watch, or even join in.

Like the title implies I'm also open to sharing myself with a male couple if each guy is agreeable.

Please don't reply if your married or involved unless your spouse/bf/gf/whatever knows about it and is 100% OK with it. Not trying to judge, just don't wanna get involved.

Not looking to commit for too long a period of time or be exclusive, but wanna develop some kind of relationship. I realize this kind of relationship is intense by nature so it can't help be some kind of relationship.

Today before I mowed the lawn I decided to put one of my buttplugs in me. It's been awhile and I've never left the house with a buttplug in me. I felt so dirty. I loved it!

I didn't really feel it after awhile, but just knowing it was there made me feel hot, and anyone walking by wouldn't have a clue.

Good thing I put it in too. Found out I'm really tight. It took several minutes to get it inside me. Looks like I better start getting ready for my first male lover and start loosening up!

Eventually I plan on going out in public on a short trip with it in, like shopping, just for the rush of being among a crowd of people who have no idea. I wouldn't wanna have it in for a long period of time, for practical purposes, so going to work for example would be out of the question which is fine, though I'd be open to repeat this any number of times. Maybe some hot guy would catch on and offer to take it out and offer to replace it with something else.

Today before I mowed the lawn I decided to put one of my buttplugs in me. It's been awhile and I've never left the house with a buttplug in me. I felt so dirty. I loved it!

I didn't really feel it after awhile, but just knowing it was there made me feel hot, and anyone walking by wouldn't have a clue.

Good thing I put it in too. Found out I'm really tight. It took several minutes to get it inside me. Looks like I better start getting ready for my first male lover and start loosening up!

Eventually I plan on going out in public on a short trip with it in, like shopping, just for the rush of being among a crowd of people who have no idea. I wouldn't wanna have it in for a long period of time, for practical purposes, so going to work for example would be out of the question which is fine, though I'd be open to repeat this any number of times. Maybe some hot guy would catch on and offer to take it out and offer to replace it with something else.

Today before I mowed the lawn I decided to put one of my buttplugs in me. It's been awhile and I've never left the house with a buttplug in me. I felt so dirty. I loved it!

I didn't really feel it after awhile, but just knowing it was there made me feel hot, and anyone walking by wouldn't have a clue.

Good thing I put it in too. Found out I'm really tight. It took several minutes to get it inside me. Looks like I better start getting ready for my first male lover and start loosening up!

Eventually I plan on going out in public on a short trip with it in, like shopping, just for the rush of being among a crowd of people who have no idea. I wouldn't wanna have it in for a long period of time, for practical purposes, so going to work for example would be out of the question which is fine, though I'd be open to repeat this any number of times. Maybe some hot guy would catch on and offer to take it out and offer to replace it with something else.

I asked a similar question a couple of weeks ago about Grindr. Just curious about how these apps work on a college campus.

It looks like Grindr has limited use. Guys on only some campuses use it. Thought it would be more, but at least some guys have hooked up because of it so good for them!

Does anyone have any experience with how Sniffies is being used on college campuses? Any time my random location has been in range of any local college campuses, I see no more than two or three guys. I would expect many more. Wonder what it's like on other campuses, and if there's any reason in particular Sniffies wouldn't work on campuses.

I realize this personal might be more sexual in nature than the typical personal here, but the BDSM part of it is still important.

I've been struggling with my sexuality for years, and I'm ready to start being with guys. At 54 I also realize this is unusually late to start this kind of thing, but you got to start sometime! And it's better late than never. And being Pride Month I've decided to put an extra effort into being more conscious of the gay side of my sexuality.

One of the ways I would like to explore homosexuality is through the framework of BDSM. Submitting myself completely sexually to a member of the same sex would be an interesting exercise for me, from two perspectives. It could be a framework whereby I can explore my homosexuality consistently and safely. It could also help me get rid of any hangups about guys I might have, or even other hangups, by forcing me to confront my limits.

Of course it would take awhile before I could build the right relationship and trust level with the right older man.

I'm a 54 year old single guy. Pretty open minded, open to anything that's safe, sane and discreet. Kind of an introvert. Looking for a man old enough to be my father who knows how to take control of me but also cares. And is good in the sack lmao!

Pretty open to any BDSM things, though not too keen on puppy, feet or adult baby stuff. I'll do the first two but adult baby is just not my thing at all. Really wanna try bondage. I'm more for tying me up for positions for sex though tying me up for its own sake would be nice. Also love the idea of CMNM. I'm a bit self conscious about being naked like a lot of people are so that makes it all the more humiliating for me, and kinky. Also love the idea of humiliation. You can invite your friends to watch, or even join in.

Like the title implies I'm also open to sharing myself with a male couple if each guy is agreeable.

Please don't reply if your married or involved unless your spouse/bf/gf/whatever knows about it and is 100% OK with it. Not trying to judge, just don't wanna get involved.

Not looking to commit for too long a period of time or be exclusive, but wanna develop some kind of relationship. I realize this kind of relationship is intense by nature so it can't help be some kind of relationship.

This being Pride Month I again state my intention to put my heterosexual side of my sexuality to the side and concentrate on my homosexual tendencies. I kind of like this because it takes the pressure off certain things and it focuses my attention on things that have been needing attention for a long time. Maybe to help myself out I'll try out the "I am gay" hat for size until the end of the month. Yup, until June 30 I wanna hold hands with and kiss and do it with just guys, and girls and boobs and yonis don't make sense to me. This is scarier to admit to than bisexuality. At least with that I still have a tie to societally approved attraction to the opposite sex and I have the luxury of omission of talking about my attraction to the same sex. to make me appear "normal." This way right off the bat I'm a queer. If I can live through that hopefully that will build some character and resilience in me, if not some people skills.

So until the end of the month, I'm gay, I'm a homosexual, I'm attracted sexually, romantically and intimately to members of my own sex only, and I like track lighting lol.

As far as the guys I would like to have in my life, there are many. Many. Among the many I would like to have at least a few steadies...boyfriends, partners, whatever you wanna call them. At least one anyways, one that I would be really close with. Maybe even one I would...love.

Maybe even one I would...marry?

This Pride Month and all these years and years of questioning are forcing me to consider the person I am with for the rest of my life, the woman of my dreams, might not even be a woman, and that is perfectly fine. The way my life is going it's within the realm of possibility it could wind up like that. In my head I've had all kinds of heart pounding gay fantasies that I think correspond to the real world at least somewhat, but I've actually never even kissed a guy, so in practice I don't really know what to expect.

Even what I have written has gone off course from what I intended. I wanted to write about what kind of so called primary boyfriend I would like. I wanted to describe what kind of relationship I would like to have with him. But I guess I needed to write all of that anyways both because it just needed to be stated and to sort of put into perspective what I'm looking for in a boyfriend. Of course this is all theoretical. I realize life has a way of changing things around and things might work out in ways no one might've ever expected.

I would like someone old enough to be my father. I'm looking for some kind of wisdom from life experience. I've struggled so long with my sexuality and I need someone who is able, and willing, to help me make sense of it and embrace it, maybe someone who has had similar struggles. But I would also like to draw on other wisdom. I know there are other things in life that are not related directly or at all but are still important to consider.

I can't wait to meet you. Maybe we even already know each other. Maybe we will meet in an interesting way. Either way I know for a fact it will happen if it hasn't and I know you and I will notice a cosmic connection with each other. Each time we meet it will become clearer. This will feel a bit weird to me at first. I'm not used to feeling this with a man. But with time and your wisdom this will become normal to me, though there will be some sexual tension. I won't really know where this will be going, but I won't be too concerned.

When an intimate relationship is about to start, no matter how long it lasts...a night, a week, several decades...usually it starts with a spontaneous kiss. This will happen with you and me. I know you will be a great kisser. I know I will immensely enjoy our first kiss, and it will lead to our nudity before we know it!

This will probably be my first homosexual experience. You will know or at least assume it would be best if I feel close and comfortable with you, and to do that you will keep kissing me. I will not complain. My brain will be swimming in ecstasy as our tongues dance and our male flesh rubs against each other. I will be totally into you.

After this frenzy I will know I'm ready. I will take you by the hand with a desperate look in my eyes and take you to the bedroom. I will lie down on the bed, drag you on top of me, and whisper in your ear, "Make me gay." It has come to this, from my early 20s when post nut clarity made me ashamed and regretful I had ever considered questioning my hangups, to now, totally choosing to give up the ultimate control of what society has drilled into my head as the correct masculinity, giving up control of my body and my soul to you, another man, but in doing so affirming who I truly am and therefore my freedom. Make me gay. This command liberates me.

The sweet kisses continue. Our erections seem to dance in time with our tongues. The weight of your body on mine makes me feel so secure, and special. You make the effort to tear away from me to make preparations to take my male to male virginity. My legs feel so natural on your shoulders. I look deep in your eyes and smile. When you enter me I fall in love with you and know you and I will always be together.

Fortunately your kissing is a good indication of what you're like in bed. It feels great, and because it's you I feel great doing it with you. We spend our time watching our faces contort in pleasure and kissing. I'm mumbling various things I'm not completely aware of. When you cum I pull your head close to mine and kiss. This makes me cum and we kiss some more.

Things are now different. I now have your sperm inside my body and I'm so proud to have it. We cuddle up to each other and tell each other how much we enjoyed this. We joke about being boyfriends now...which might actually be true. But in a more serious tone I thank you for making my first time very enjoyable and helping me accept who I am. We drift to sleep in each other's arms to wake up the next morning to more kisses, lovemaking, breakfast, kisses and lovemaking.

I will have other sexual partners of the same sex. I might even have ones I love. But I will always love you. Even though our relationship will start with sex, and it will be fun, it will also be the means to an end, and bring you and me closer together, especially since this kind of sex was for the longest time problematic for me and you will solve it and make it beautiful.

This being Pride Month I again state my intention to put my heterosexual side of my sexuality to the side and concentrate on my homosexual tendencies. I kind of like this because it takes the pressure off certain things and it focuses my attention on things that have been needing attention for a long time. Maybe to help myself out I'll try out the "I am gay" hat for size until the end of the month. Yup, until June 30 I wanna hold hands with and kiss and do it with just guys, and girls and boobs and yonis don't make sense to me. This is scarier to admit to than bisexuality. At least with that I still have a tie to societally approved attraction to the opposite sex and I have the luxury of omission of talking about my attraction to the same sex. to make me appear "normal." This way right off the bat I'm a queer. If I can live through that hopefully that will build some character and resilience in me, if not some people skills.

So until the end of the month, I'm gay, I'm a homosexual, I'm attracted sexually, romantically and intimately to members of my own sex only, and I like track lighting lol.

As far as the guys I would like to have in my life, there are many. Many. Among the many I would like to have at least a few steadies...boyfriends, partners, whatever you wanna call them. At least one anyways, one that I would be really close with. Maybe even one I would...love.

Maybe even one I would...marry?

This Pride Month and all these years and years of questioning are forcing me to consider the person I am with for the rest of my life, the woman of my dreams, might not even be a woman, and that is perfectly fine. The way my life is going it's within the realm of possibility it could wind up like that. In my head I've had all kinds of heart pounding gay fantasies that I think correspond to the real world at least somewhat, but I've actually never even kissed a guy, so in practice I don't really know what to expect.

Even what I have written has gone off course from what I intended. I wanted to write about what kind of so called primary boyfriend I would like. I wanted to describe what kind of relationship I would like to have with him. But I guess I needed to write all of that anyways both because it just needed to be stated and to sort of put into perspective what I'm looking for in a boyfriend. Of course this is all theoretical. I realize life has a way of changing things around and things might work out in ways no one might've ever expected.

I would like someone old enough to be my father. I'm looking for some kind of wisdom from life experience. I've struggled so long with my sexuality and I need someone who is able, and willing, to help me make sense of it and embrace it, maybe someone who has had similar struggles. But I would also like to draw on other wisdom. I know there are other things in life that are not related directly or at all but are still important to consider.

I can't wait to meet you. Maybe we even already know each other. Maybe we will meet in an interesting way. Either way I know for a fact it will happen if it hasn't and I know you and I will notice a cosmic connection with each other. Each time we meet it will become clearer. This will feel a bit weird to me at first. I'm not used to feeling this with a man. But with time and your wisdom this will become normal to me, though there will be some sexual tension. I won't really know where this will be going, but I won't be too concerned.

When an intimate relationship is about to start, no matter how long it lasts...a night, a week, several decades...usually it starts with a spontaneous kiss. This will happen with you and me. I know you will be a great kisser. I know I will immensely enjoy our first kiss, and it will lead to our nudity before we know it!

This will probably be my first homosexual experience. You will know or at least assume it would be best if I feel close and comfortable with you, and to do that you will keep kissing me. I will not complain. My brain will be swimming in ecstasy as our tongues dance and our male flesh rubs against each other. I will be totally into you.

After this frenzy I will know I'm ready. I will take you by the hand with a desperate look in my eyes and take you to the bedroom. I will lie down on the bed, drag you on top of me, and whisper in your ear, "Make me gay." It has come to this, from my early 20s when post nut clarity made me ashamed and regretful I had ever considered questioning my hangups, to now, totally choosing to give up the ultimate control of what society has drilled into my head as the correct masculinity, giving up control of my body and my soul to you, another man, but in doing so affirming who I truly am and therefore my freedom. Make me gay. This command liberates me.

The sweet kisses continue. Our erections seem to dance in time with our tongues. The weight of your body on mine makes me feel so secure, and special. You make the effort to tear away from me to make preparations to take my male to male virginity. My legs feel so natural on your shoulders. I look deep in your eyes and smile. When you enter me I fall in love with you and know you and I will always be together.

Fortunately your kissing is a good indication of what you're like in bed. It feels great, and because it's you I feel great doing it with you. We spend our time watching our faces contort in pleasure and kissing. I'm mumbling various things I'm not completely aware of. When you cum I pull your head close to mine and kiss. This makes me cum and we kiss some more.

Things are now different. I now have your sperm inside my body and I'm so proud to have it. We cuddle up to each other and tell each other how much we enjoyed this. We joke about being boyfriends now...which might actually be true. But in a more serious tone I thank you for making my first time very enjoyable and helping me accept who I am. We drift to sleep in each other's arms to wake up the next morning to more kisses, lovemaking, breakfast, kisses and lovemaking.

I will have other sexual partners of the same sex. I might even have ones I love. But I will always love you. Even though our relationship will start with sex, and it will be fun, it will also be the means to an end, and bring you and me closer together, especially since this kind of sex was for the longest time problematic for me and you will solve it and make it beautiful.

This being Pride Month I again state my intention to put my heterosexual side of my sexuality to the side and concentrate on my homosexual tendencies. I kind of like this because it takes the pressure off certain things and it focuses my attention on things that have been needing attention for a long time. Maybe to help myself out I'll try out the "I am gay" hat for size until the end of the month. Yup, until June 30 I wanna hold hands with and kiss and do it with just guys, and girls and boobs and yonis don't make sense to me. This is scarier to admit to than bisexuality. At least with that I still have a tie to societally approved attraction to the opposite sex and I have the luxury of omission of talking about my attraction to the same sex. to make me appear "normal." This way right off the bat I'm a queer. If I can live through that hopefully that will build some character and resilience in me, if not some people skills.

So until the end of the month, I'm gay, I'm a homosexual, I'm attracted sexually, romantically and intimately to members of my own sex only, and I like track lighting lol.

As far as the guys I would like to have in my life, there are many. Many. Among the many I would like to have at least a few steadies...boyfriends, partners, whatever you wanna call them. At least one anyways, one that I would be really close with. Maybe even one I would...love.

Maybe even one I would...marry?

This Pride Month and all these years and years of questioning are forcing me to consider the person I am with for the rest of my life, the woman of my dreams, might not even be a woman, and that is perfectly fine. The way my life is going it's within the realm of possibility it could wind up like that. In my head I've had all kinds of heart pounding gay fantasies that I think correspond to the real world at least somewhat, but I've actually never even kissed a guy, so in practice I don't really know what to expect.

Even what I have written has gone off course from what I intended. I wanted to write about what kind of so called primary boyfriend I would like. I wanted to describe what kind of relationship I would like to have with him. But I guess I needed to write all of that anyways both because it just needed to be stated and to sort of put into perspective what I'm looking for in a boyfriend. Of course this is all theoretical. I realize life has a way of changing things around and things might work out in ways no one might've ever expected.

I would like someone old enough to be my father. I'm looking for some kind of wisdom from life experience. I've struggled so long with my sexuality and I need someone who is able, and willing, to help me make sense of it and embrace it, maybe someone who has had similar struggles. But I would also like to draw on other wisdom. I know there are other things in life that are not related directly or at all but are still important to consider.

I can't wait to meet you. Maybe we even already know each other. Maybe we will meet in an interesting way. Either way I know for a fact it will happen if it hasn't and I know you and I will notice a cosmic connection with each other. Each time we meet it will become clearer. This will feel a bit weird to me at first. I'm not used to feeling this with a man. But with time and your wisdom this will become normal to me, though there will be some sexual tension. I won't really know where this will be going, but I won't be too concerned.

When an intimate relationship is about to start, no matter how long it lasts...a night, a week, several decades...usually it starts with a spontaneous kiss. This will happen with you and me. I know you will be a great kisser. I know I will immensely enjoy our first kiss, and it will lead to our nudity before we know it!

This will probably be my first homosexual experience. You will know or at least assume it would be best if I feel close and comfortable with you, and to do that you will keep kissing me. I will not complain. My brain will be swimming in ecstasy as our tongues dance and our male flesh rubs against each other. I will be totally into you.

After this frenzy I will know I'm ready. I will take you by the hand with a desperate look in my eyes and take you to the bedroom. I will lie down on the bed, drag you on top of me, and whisper in your ear, "Make me gay." It has come to this, from my early 20s when post nut clarity made me ashamed and regretful I had ever considered questioning my hangups, to now, totally choosing to give up the ultimate control of what society has drilled into my head as the correct masculinity, giving up control of my body and my soul to you, another man, but in doing so affirming who I truly am and therefore my freedom. Make me gay. This command liberates me.

The sweet kisses continue. Our erections seem to dance in time with our tongues. The weight of your body on mine makes me feel so secure, and special. You make the effort to tear away from me to make preparations to take my male to male virginity. My legs feel so natural on your shoulders. I look deep in your eyes and smile. When you enter me I fall in love with you and know you and I will always be together.

Fortunately your kissing is a good indication of what you're like in bed. It feels great, and because it's you I feel great doing it with you. We spend our time watching our faces contort in pleasure and kissing. I'm mumbling various things I'm not completely aware of. When you cum I pull your head close to mine and kiss. This makes me cum and we kiss some more.

Things are now different. I now have your sperm inside my body and I'm so proud to have it. We cuddle up to each other and tell each other how much we enjoyed this. We joke about being boyfriends now...which might actually be true. But in a more serious tone I thank you for making my first time very enjoyable and helping me accept who I am. We drift to sleep in each other's arms to wake up the next morning to more kisses, lovemaking, breakfast, kisses and lovemaking.

I will have other sexual partners of the same sex. I might even have ones I love. But I will always love you. Even though our relationship will start with sex, and it will be fun, it will also be the means to an end, and bring you and me closer together, especially since this kind of sex was for the longest time problematic for me and you will solve it and make it beautiful.

Again I wanna say Happy Pride Month to everyone celebrating it. I hope everyone has a feeling of happiness and liberation.

In keeping with the idea of taking the time to celebrate Pride, aside from making an extra effort this month to look for my first sexual experience with a guy, I've also decided to focus on embracing and nurturing my homosexual desires. It's an appropriate and probably practical time of the year to do this, and it might be something I need to do for myself. I can't see it hurting me. I've struggled with these feelings for so long, and for no good reason whatsoever. It's now time to make big steps. I so look forward to have many guys walk with me on what I've called my gay slut journey. But I hope at least a few of them turn out to be lifelong friends.

Again I wanna say Happy Pride Month to everyone celebrating it. I hope everyone has a feeling of happiness and liberation.

In keeping with the idea of taking the time to celebrate Pride, aside from making an extra effort this month to look for my first sexual experience with a guy, I've also decided to focus on embracing and nurturing my homosexual desires. It's an appropriate and probably practical time of the year to do this, and it might be something I need to do for myself. I can't see it hurting me. I've struggled with these feelings for so long, and for no good reason whatsoever. It's now time to make big steps. I so look forward to have many guys walk with me on what I've called my gay slut journey. But I hope at least a few of them turn out to be lifelong friends.