u/CardiologistLow9036

"what the fuck? Who actually wants to be friendzoned?" I'll be straight with you, it's a kink thing, but it can be more than that too. I'm looking for someone I can actually get to know and like as a friend first, who's into some freaky shit which I'll explain later down the line.

Non-freaky me: I'm into MMA, videogames and art, not huge into music but looking to get in, I enjoy getting outdoors and I struggle to find a way to describe myself without putting myself to sleep, it's an exciting life to me okay? Jokes aside I enjoy getting into the weeds of any art I consume whether it's comics, videogames, TV shows and anime, that's my main hobby.

Freaky me: here's the fun part, I'm into a very specific type of thing, basically I'm a virgin and I really enjoy speaking to sexually active women who are out of my league and being teased for the fact, tell me about your lives, your dates, the sexy details therein, I guess you could call it a cuck thing but it's not quite that. The difference is hard to articulate though. And of course I'm into all things femdom but that's not really what this post is about, still if you're interested I won't say no. TL;DR, tease the shit out of me for not being the type of guy you'd see sexually and basically just keep me around as a kind of virgin jester/pet.

Looks wise I'm 5'3, I have nice abs, a nice jawline, my face is more often described as cute than hot, I've got brown soft hair and big ol' blue eyes, I wear glasses and I'm white if you care.

I wanna say that I do not genuinely see myself as a lesser human being for being a virgin, I just had a relationship like the one I'm describing once and have been yearning like you couldn't believe ever since. That said, it's fun to talk about it that way.

As for what I'm looking for, I honestly can't even get too specific here, be really pretty, be interested in more than the kink stuff, be willing to share at least 1 sfw face/ body pic so I can tell you're out of my league. I'll oblige of course. Please no "Dracula talk" as I like to call it. "Is mistresses boy ready to be punished?" YEAUCH 🤢. Just be yourself and if you like me we can just go from there. Tell me your interests, hobbies, who you are outside of the sex stuff goes a long way towards making the sex(adjacent?) stuff really sting. Also I really like voice calls (sfw ones(and nsfw ones but unfortunately I don't live alone)) and streaming the super hard bullet hell games I play, talking about random bullshit at god knows when o'clock at night, and sharing my art with people. Hell even if you're not interested in the rest please drop by so I can show you what I drew last night.

All that combined with being someone you can freely share your sex life with, who will be on their knees for you with no expectations of it ever going further is the most sycinct explanation of what I offer that I can produce. If you got this far, leave a short intro as your first message and we can go from there.

There's a lot I didn't mention in this post because I super secretly deep down want you to ask me about it (note to self, delete this part so that they don't think you're an oddball who can't carry a conversation without being asked some random bullshit every few seconds)

"what the fuck? Who actually wants to be friendzoned?" I'll be straight with you, it's a kink thing, but it can be more than that too. I'm looking for someone I can actually get to know and like as a friend first, who's into some freaky shit which I'll explain later down the line.

Non-freaky me: I'm into MMA, videogames and art, not huge into music but looking to get in, I enjoy getting outdoors and I struggle to find a way to describe myself without putting myself to sleep, it's an exciting life to me okay? Jokes aside I enjoy getting into the weeds of any art I consume whether it's comics, videogames, TV shows and anime, that's my main hobby.

Freaky me: here's the fun part, I'm into a very specific type of thing, basically I'm a virgin and I really enjoy speaking to sexually active women who are out of my league and being teased for the fact, tell me about your lives, your dates, the sexy details therein, I guess you could call it a cuck thing but it's not quite that. The difference is hard to articulate though. And of course I'm into all things femdom but that's not really what this post is about, still if you're interested I won't say no. TL;DR, tease the shit out of me for not being the type of guy you'd see sexually and basically just keep me around as a kind of virgin jester/pet.

Looks wise I'm 5'3, I have nice abs, a nice jawline, my face is more often described as cute than hot, I've got brown soft hair and big ol' blue eyes, I wear glasses and I'm white if you care.

I wanna say that I do not genuinely see myself as a lesser human being for being a virgin, I just had a relationship like the one I'm describing once and have been yearning like you couldn't believe ever since. That said, it's fun to talk about it that way.

As for what I'm looking for, I honestly can't even get too specific here, be really pretty, be interested in more than the kink stuff, be willing to share at least 1 sfw face/ body pic so I can tell you're out of my league. I'll oblige of course. Please no "Dracula talk" as I like to call it. "Is mistresses boy ready to be punished?" YEAUCH 🤢. Just be yourself and if you like me we can just go from there. Tell me your interests, hobbies, who you are outside of the sex stuff goes a long way towards making the sex(adjacent?) stuff really sting. Also I really like voice calls (sfw ones(and nsfw ones but unfortunately I don't live alone)) and streaming the super hard bullet hell games I play, talking about random bullshit at god knows when o'clock at night, and sharing my art with people. Hell even if you're not interested in the rest please drop by so I can show you what I drew last night.

All that combined with being someone you can freely share your sex life with, who will be on their knees for you with no expectations of it ever going further is the most sycinct explanation of what I offer that I can produce. If you got this far, leave a short intro as your first message and we can go from there.

There's a lot I didn't mention in this post because I super secretly deep down want you to ask me about it (note to self, delete this part so that they don't think you're an oddball who can't carry a conversation without being asked some random bullshit every few seconds)

"what the fuck? Who actually wants to be friendzoned?" I'll be straight with you, it's a kink thing, but it can be more than that too. I'm looking for someone I can actually get to know and like as a friend first, who's into some freaky shit which I'll explain later down the line.

Non-freaky me: I'm into MMA, videogames and art, not huge into music but looking to get in, I enjoy getting outdoors and I struggle to find a way to describe myself without putting myself to sleep, it's an exciting life to me okay? Jokes aside I enjoy getting into the weeds of any art I consume whether it's comics, videogames, TV shows and anime, that's my main hobby.

Freaky me: here's the fun part, I'm into a very specific type of thing, basically I'm a virgin and I really enjoy speaking to sexually active women who are out of my league and being teased for the fact, tell me about your lives, your dates, the sexy details therein, I guess you could call it a cuck thing but it's not quite that. The difference is hard to articulate though. And of course I'm into all things femdom but that's not really what this post is about, still if you're interested I won't say no. TL;DR, tease the shit out of me for not being the type of guy you'd see sexually and basically just keep me around as a kind of virgin jester/pet.

Looks wise I'm 5'3, I have nice abs, a nice jawline, my face is more often described as cute than hot, I've got brown soft hair and big ol' blue eyes, I wear glasses and I'm white if you care.

I wanna say that I do not genuinely see myself as a lesser human being for being a virgin, I just had a relationship like the one I'm describing once and have been yearning like you couldn't believe ever since. That said, it's fun to talk about it that way.

As for what I'm looking for, I honestly can't even get too specific here, be really pretty, be interested in more than the kink stuff, be willing to share at least 1 sfw face/ body pic so I can tell you're out of my league. I'll oblige of course. Please no "Dracula talk" as I like to call it. "Is mistresses boy ready to be punished?" YEAUCH 🤢. Just be yourself and if you like me we can just go from there. Also I really like voice calls (sfw ones(and nsfw ones but unfortunately I don't live alone)) and streaming the super hard bullet hell games I play, and I really want someone to share my art with. Hell even if you're not interested in the rest please drop by so I can show you what I drew last night.

There's a lot I didn't mention in this post because I super secretly deep down want you to ask me about it (note to self, delete this part so that they don't think you're an oddball who can't carry a conversation without being asked some random bullshit every few seconds)

​

"what the fuck? Who actually wants to be friendzoned?" I'll be straight with you, it's a kink thing, but it can be more than that too. I'm looking for someone I can actually get to know and like as a friend first, who's into some freaky shit which I'll explain later down the line.

Non-freaky me: I'm into MMA, videogames and art, not huge into music but looking to get in, I enjoy getting outdoors and I struggle to find a way to describe myself without putting myself to sleep, it's an exciting life to me okay? Jokes aside I enjoy getting into the weeds of any art I consume whether it's comics, videogames, TV shows and anime, that's my main hobby.

Freaky me: here's the fun part, I'm into a very specific type of thing, basically I'm a virgin and I really enjoy speaking to sexually active women who are out of my league and being teased for the fact, tell me about your lives, your dates, the sexy details therein, I guess you could call it a cuck thing but it's not quite that. The difference is hard to articulate though. And of course I'm into all things femdom but that's not really what this post is about, still if you're interested I won't say no. TL;DR, tease the shit out of me for not being the type of guy you'd see sexually and basically just keep me around as a kind of virgin jester/pet.

Looks wise I'm 5'3, I have nice abs, a nice jawline, my face is more often described as cute than hot, I've got brown soft hair and big ol' blue eyes, I wear glasses and I'm white if you care.

I wanna say that I do not genuinely see myself as a lesser human being for being a virgin, I just had a relationship like the one I'm describing once and have been yearning like you couldn't believe ever since. That said, it's fun to talk about it that way.

As for what I'm looking for, I honestly can't even get too specific here, be really pretty, be interested in more than the kink stuff, be willing to share at least 1 sfw face/ body pic so I can tell you're out of my league. I'll oblige of course. Please no "Dracula talk" as I like to call it. "Is mistresses boy ready to be punished?" YEAUCH 🤢. Just be yourself and if you like me we can just go from there. Also I really like voice calls (sfw ones(and nsfw ones but unfortunately I don't live alone)) and streaming the super hard bullet hell games I play, and I really want someone to share my art with. Hell even if you're not interested in the rest please drop by so I can show you what I drew last night.

There's a lot I didn't mention in this post because I super secretly deep down want you to ask me about it (note to self, delete this part so that they don't think you're an oddball who can't carry a conversation without being asked some random bullshit every few seconds)

​

I hesitate to say "friend with benefits" outright because I feel like that has connotations of throwaway sex and friends you only message when you're horny, that's not what I'm after. I'm looking for an actual good friend that I can relate to and have fun with as well as have \*fun\* with if you catch my drift, but the one comes before the other, not the other way round.

Non-freaky me: I'm into MMA, videogames and art, not huge into music but looking to get in, I enjoy getting outdoors and I struggle to find a way to describe myself without putting myself to sleep, it's an exciting life to me okay? Jokes aside I enjoy getting into the weeds of any art I consume whether it's comics, videogames, TV shows and anime, that's my main hobby I guess, diving deep into the stuff I enjoy. I also do oc lore stuff though I've kind of fallen off the wagon where that's concerned, still if anyone's keen to have a yap sesh I have more than enough material. Of course this is related to my drawing, I'm in desperate need of someone to show my art to, hell even if the rest of this doesn't appeal do drop by so I can show you what I drew last night.

Freaky me: the fun part, I'm into your pretty standard femdom fare purely because I haven't had many chances to step outside of it, but the main thing I wanna do in bed is something new, obviously not something surprising, I'm big on informed consent but this is a vast and deep world and I feel like getting my hair wet. That said here's the list of things that I'm already into: edging, ass stuff that isn't pegging, ass stuff that is pegging, spanking, gfd, degradation, not sure how to describe this but like being brought to a point where I'm desperate and then being patronised for it, giving head, bondage, blindfolding, choking, ct(CBT without the b, that shit really hurts ;-;), feet, and regular sex with me on bottom, you don't have to whip out the toolkit to have a good time. Generally I'm around 65% into the gentle side of things and 35% into the not so gentle side, obviously to try and quantify something like that is insane but just to give a rough idea.

Limits: gore, scat, vomit all that stuff, iceplay (learned that one the hard way) sounding with things that were not made for sounding (you don't wanna know), forced bi, and pushing after I say no to anything, more will probably come up as we go.

I also wanted to put a section on the non-sex physical interaction side of things, I'm a complete and absolute cuddleslut, I could stop there honestly but it bears saying that it really is a big one for me, I like having my hair stroked, laying in laps and chests and all sorts. I do like back tickles, only issue being that I have a giant chemical burn on my back, now the origin of that chemical burn is not something I'm willing to disclose, but more to the point I only like back scratches if you can dodge the burn.

Looks wise I'm 5'3, I have nice abs, a nice jawline, my face is more often described as cute than hot, I've got brown soft hair and big ol' blue eyes, I wear glasses and I'm white if you care. My build is athletic but I'm an endurance athlete so it's more on the skinny side.

As for what I'm looking for, I honestly can't even get too specific here, be really pretty, be interested in more than the kink stuff(and of course, be into the kink stuff too), be willing to share at least 1 sfw face/ body pic off the bat so I can tell what you look like. I'll oblige of course. Please no "Dracula talk" as I like to call it. "Is mistresses boy ready to be punished?" YEAUCH 🤢. Just be yourself and if you like me we can just go from there. Also I really like voice calls (sfw ones(and nsfw ones but unfortunately I don't live alone)) and streaming the super hard bullet hell games I play, cheer me on though them and my heart is yours. It's really important to me that you're able to voice/video call off the bat! My number 1 limit is existing purely as a wall of text. It's really important to me that I can hear you laugh, and see your face light up, different expressions, texting is good fun but it's way too limited for me to actually grow to like someone with texting alone and then the odd call here and there.

I mentioned that I couldn't get too specific and that's cause I don't really have a "type", I have like 20 types, I don't have any racial preferences, I won't ask for specific facial features or height or asset size or anything, not because I'm willing to settle for some inferior version of a perfect woman, but because I find different features and heights and indeed asset sizes pretty for different reasons, all I ask is that you be generally in shape and hygienic, if you're my kind of person I'll most likely start swooning eventually regardless of looks.

Location is important, UK based gets priority of course, but I'm willing to travel to cheap countries so long as you're willing to host, countries like Finland, Spain, Germany don't cost a lot plane ticket wise so if you're not in the UK don't fret, but yeah do check how viable a trip to your country is beforehand since I'm not interested in purely online. That said, THIS HAS GOT TO START ONLINE. My number one fear with anyone I meet on Reddit is that they're gonna kill me viciously when I meet them irl, as such the getting to know each other period is gonna have to happen online, doesn't have to be long, maybe a week of calls and text chats, just not "hey I live in such and such, let's skip the formalities and get to know each other in person", call me paranoid but fuck to the no.

If you like what you see, then leave a message that leads with your ASL, covers most of the same ground as this post here, and has like your favourite club penguin celebrity at the end so I know you read this far, actually that might be too niche. If you don't know any club penguin celebrities then just put the word "Gary" in there somewhere.

There's a lot I didn't mention in this post because I secretly want you to ask me about it later (delete this bit before posting so that they don't think you're a freewheeling oddball who can't carry a conversation without being asked some random bullshit every 5 seconds) so do drop by, hope to hear from some of you!

​

I hesitate to say "friend with benefits" outright because I feel like that has connotations of throwaway sex and friends you only message when you're horny, that's not what I'm after. I'm looking for an actual good friend that I can relate to and have fun with as well as have fun with if you catch my drift, but the one comes before the other, not the other way round.

Non-freaky me: I'm into MMA, videogames and art, not huge into music but looking to get in, I enjoy getting outdoors and I struggle to find a way to describe myself without putting myself to sleep, it's an exciting life to me okay? Jokes aside I enjoy getting into the weeds of any art I consume whether it's comics, videogames, TV shows and anime, that's my main hobby I guess, diving deep into the stuff I enjoy. I also do oc lore stuff though I've kind of fallen off the wagon where that's concerned, still if anyone's keen to have a yap sesh I have more than enough material. Of course this is related to my drawing, I'm in desperate need of someone to show my art to, hell even if the rest of this doesn't appeal do drop by so I can show you what I drew last night.

Freaky me: the fun part, I'm into your pretty standard femdom fare purely because I haven't had many chances to step outside of it, but the main thing I wanna do in bed is something new, obviously not something surprising, I'm big on informed consent but this is a vast and deep world and I feel like getting my hair wet. That said here's the list of things that I'm already into: edging, ass stuff that isn't pegging, ass stuff that is pegging, spanking, gfd, degradation, not sure how to describe this but like being brought to a point where I'm desperate and then being patronised for it, giving head, bondage, blindfolding, choking, ct(CBT without the b, that shit really hurts ;-;), feet, and regular sex with me on bottom, you don't have to whip out the toolkit to have a good time. Generally I'm around 65% into the gentle side of things and 35% into the not so gentle side, obviously to try and quantify something like that is insane but just to give a rough idea.

Limits: gore, scat, vomit all that stuff, iceplay (learned that one the hard way) sounding with things that were not made for sounding (you don't wanna know), forced bi, and pushing after I say no to anything, more will probably come up as we go.

I also wanted to put a section on the non-sex physical interaction side of things, I'm a complete and absolute cuddleslut, I could stop there honestly but it bears saying that it really is a big one for me, I like having my hair stroked, laying in laps and chests and all sorts. I do like back tickles, only issue being that I have a giant chemical burn on my back, now the origin of that chemical burn is not something I'm willing to disclose, but more to the point I only like back scratches if you can dodge the burn.

Looks wise I'm 5'3, I have nice abs, a nice jawline, my face is more often described as cute than hot, I've got brown soft hair and big ol' blue eyes, I wear glasses and I'm white if you care. My build is athletic but I'm an endurance athlete so it's more on the skinny side.

As for what I'm looking for, I honestly can't even get too specific here, be really pretty, be interested in more than the kink stuff(and of course, be into the kink stuff too), be willing to share at least 1 sfw face/ body pic off the bat so I can tell what you look like. I'll oblige of course. Please no "Dracula talk" as I like to call it. "Is mistresses boy ready to be punished?" YEAUCH 🤢. Just be yourself and if you like me we can just go from there. Also I really like voice calls (sfw ones(and nsfw ones but unfortunately I don't live alone)) and streaming the super hard bullet hell games I play, cheer me on though them and my heart is yours. It's really important to me that you're able to voice/video call off the bat! My number 1 limit is existing purely as a wall of text. It's really important to me that I can hear you laugh, and see your face light up, different expressions, texting is good fun but it's way too limited for me to actually grow to like someone with texting alone and then the odd call here and there.

I mentioned that I couldn't get too specific and that's cause I don't really have a "type", I have like 20 types, I don't have any racial preferences, I won't ask for specific facial features or height or asset size or anything, not because I'm willing to settle for some inferior version of a perfect woman, but because I find different features and heights and indeed asset sizes pretty for different reasons, all I ask is that you be generally in shape and hygienic, if you're my kind of person I'll most likely start swooning eventually.

Location is important, UK based gets priority of course, but I'm willing to travel to cheap countries so long as you're willing to host, countries like Finland, Spain, Germany don't cost a lot plane ticket wise so if you're not in the UK don't fret, but yeah do check how viable a trip to your country is beforehand since I'm not interested in purely online. That said, THIS HAS GOT TO START ONLINE. My number one fear with anyone I meet on Reddit is that they're gonna kill me viciously when I meet them irl, as such the getting to know each other period is gonna have to happen online, doesn't have to be long, maybe a week of calls and text chats, just not "hey I live in such and such, let's skip the formalities and get to know each other in person", call me paranoid but fuck to the no.

If you like what you see, then leave a message that leads with your ASL, covers most of the same ground as this post here, and has like your favourite club penguin celebrity at the end so I know you read this far, actually that might be too niche. If you don't know any club penguin celebrities then just put the word "Gary" in there somewhere

There's a lot I didn't mention in this post because I secretly want you to ask me about it later (delete this bit before posting so that they don't think you're a freewheeling oddball who can't carry a conversation without being asked some random bullshit every 5 seconds) so do drop by, hope to hear from some of you!

​

"what the fuck? Who actually wants to be friendzoned?" I'll be straight with you, it's a kink thing, but it can be more than that too. I'm looking for someone I can actually get to know and like as a friend first, who's into some freaky shit which I'll explain later down the line.

Non-freaky me: I'm into MMA, videogames and art, not huge into music but looking to get in, I enjoy getting outdoors and I struggle to find a way to describe myself without putting myself to sleep, it's an exciting life to me okay? Jokes aside I enjoy getting into the weeds of any art I consume whether it's comics, videogames, TV shows and anime, that's my main hobby.

Freaky me: here's the fun part, I'm into a very specific type of thing, basically I'm a virgin and I really enjoy speaking to sexually active women who are out of my league and being teased for the fact, tell me about your lives, your dates, the sexy details therein, I guess you could call it a cuck thing but it's not quite that. The difference is hard to articulate though. And of course I'm into all things femdom but that's not really what this post is about, still if you're interested I won't say no. TL;DR, tease the shit out of me for not being the type of guy you'd see sexually and basically just keep me around as a kind of virgin jester/pet.

Looks wise I'm 5'3, I have nice abs, a nice jawline, my face is more often described as cute than hot, I've got brown soft hair and big ol' blue eyes, I wear glasses and I'm white if you care.

I wanna say that I do not genuinely see myself as a lesser human being for being a virgin, I just had a relationship like the one I'm describing once and have been yearning like you couldn't believe ever since. That said, it's fun to talk about it that way.

As for what I'm looking for, I honestly can't even get too specific here, be really pretty, be interested in more than the kink stuff, be willing to share at least 1 sfw face/ body pic so I can tell you're out of my league. I'll oblige of course. Please no "Dracula talk" as I like to call it. "Is mistresses boy ready to be punished?" YEAUCH 🤢. Just be yourself and if you like me we can just go from there. Also I really like voice calls (sfw ones(and nsfw ones but unfortunately I don't live alone)) and streaming the super hard bullet hell games I play, and I really want someone to share my art with. Hell even if you're not interested in the rest please drop by so I can show you what I drew last night.

There's a lot I didn't mention in this post because I super secretly deep down want you to ask me about it (note to self, delete this part so that they don't think you're an oddball who can't carry a conversation without being asked some random bullshit every few seconds)

"Isn't everyone in here looking for someone?" LET ME LIVE! let's see YOU come up with a compelling title okay ;-;. humour aside, this post is on the longer side because nothing is sexier than attention span, but also my bad I totally suck at condensing things down.

Non-freaky me: I'm into MMA, videogames and art, not huge into music but looking to get in, I enjoy getting outdoors and I struggle to find a way to describe myself without putting myself to sleep, it's an exciting life to me okay? Jokes aside I enjoy getting into the weeds of any art I consume whether it's comics, videogames, TV shows and anime, that's my main hobby I guess, diving deep into the stuff I enjoy. I also do oc lore stuff though I've kind of fallen off the wagon where that's concerned, still if anyone's keen to have a yap sesh I have more than enough material. Of course this is related to my drawing, I'm in desperate need of someone to show my art to, hell even if the rest of this doesn't appeal do drop by so I can show you what I drew last night.

Freaky me: the fun part, I'm into your pretty standard femdom fare purely because I haven't had many chances to step outside of it, but the main thing I wanna do in bed is something new, obviously not something surprising, I'm big on informed consent but this is a vast and deep world and I feel like getting my hair wet. That said here's the list of things that I'm already into: edging, ass stuff that isn't pegging, ass stuff that is pegging, spanking, gfd, degradation, not sure how to describe this but like being brought to a point where I'm desperate and then being patronised for it, giving head, bondage, blindfolding, choking, ct(CBT without the b, that shit really hurts ;-;), feet, and regular sex with me on bottom, you don't have to whip out the toolkit to have a good time!

Limits: gore, scat, vomit all that stuff, iceplay (learned that one the hard way) sounding with things that were not made for sounding (you don't wanna know), forced bi, and pushing after I say no to anything, more will probably come up as we go.

Looks wise I'm 5'3, I have nice abs, a nice jawline, my face is more often described as cute than hot, I've got brown soft hair and big ol' blue eyes, I wear glasses and I'm white if you care. My build is athletic but I'm an endurance athlete so it's more on the skinny side.

As for what I'm looking for, I honestly can't even get too specific here, be really pretty, be interested in more than the kink stuff(and of course, be into the kink stuff too), be willing to share at least 1 sfw face/ body pic off the bat so I can tell what you look like. I'll oblige of course. Please no "Dracula talk" as I like to call it. "Is mistresses boy ready to be punished?" YEAUCH 🤢. Just be yourself and if you like me we can just go from there. Also I really like voice calls (sfw ones(and nsfw ones but unfortunately I don't live alone)) and streaming the super hard bullet hell games I play, cheer me on though them and my heart is yours. It's really important to me that you're able to voice/video call off the bat! My number 1 limit is existing purely as a wall of text. It's really important to me that I can hear you laugh, and see your face light up, different expressions, texting is good fun but it's way too limited for me to actually grow to like someone with texting alone and then the odd call here and there.

I mentioned that I couldn't get too specific and that's cause I don't really have a "type", I have like 20 types, and most of those types came about when I met someone new and found myself stricken, I don't have any racial preferences, I won't ask for specific facial features or height or asset size or anything, not because I'm willing to settle for some inferior version of a perfect woman, but because I find different features and heights and indeed asset sizes pretty for different reasons, all I ask is that you be generally in shape and hygienic, if you're my kind of person I'll most likely start simping eventually.

Location is important, UK based gets priority of course, but I'm willing to travel to cheap countries so long as you're willing to host, countries like Finland, Spain, Germany don't cost a lot plane ticket wise so if you're not in the UK don't fret, but yeah do check how viable a trip to your country is beforehand since I'm not interested in purely online. That said, THIS HAS GOT TO START ONLINE. My number one fear with anyone I meet on Reddit is that they're gonna kill me viciously when I meet them irl, as such the getting to know each other period is gonna have to happen online, doesn't have to be long, maybe a week of calls and text chats, just not "hey I live in such and such, let's skip the formalities and get to know each other in person", call me paranoid but fuck to the no.

If you like what you see, then leave a message that leads with your ASL, covers most of the same ground as this post here, and has like your favourite club penguin celebrity at the end so I know you read this far, actually that might be too niche. If you don't know any club penguin celebrities then just put the word "Gary" in there somewhere

There's a lot I didn't mention in this post because I secretly want you to ask me about it later (delete this bit before posting so that they don't think you're a freewheeling oddball who can't carry a conversation without being asked some random bullshit every 5 seconds) so do drop by, hope to hear from some of you!

​

"Isn't everyone in here looking for someone?" LET ME LIVE! let's see YOU come up with a compelling title okay ;-;. humour aside, this post is on the longer side because nothing is sexier than attention span, but also my bad I totally suck at condensing things down.

Non-freaky me: I'm into MMA, videogames and art, not huge into music but looking to get in, I enjoy getting outdoors and I struggle to find a way to describe myself without putting myself to sleep, it's an exciting life to me okay? Jokes aside I enjoy getting into the weeds of any art I consume whether it's comics, videogames, TV shows and anime, that's my main hobby I guess, diving deep into the stuff I enjoy. I also do oc lore stuff though I've kind of fallen off the wagon where that's concerned, still if anyone's keen to have a yap sesh I have more than enough material. Of course this is related to my drawing, I'm in desperate need of someone to show my art to, hell even if the rest of this doesn't appeal do drop by so I can show you what I drew last night.

Freaky me: the fun part, I'm into your pretty standard femdom fare purely because I haven't had many chances to step outside of it, but the main thing I wanna do in bed is something new, obviously not something surprising, I'm big on informed consent but this is a vast and deep world and I feel like getting my hair wet. That said here's the list of things that I'm already into: edging, ass stuff that isn't pegging, ass stuff that is pegging, spanking, gfd, degradation, not sure how to describe this but like being brought to a point where I'm desperate and then being patronised for it, giving head, bondage, blindfolding, choking, ct(CBT without the b, that shit really hurts ;-;), feet, and regular sex with me on bottom, you don't have to whip out the toolkit to have a good time!

Limits: gore, scat, vomit all that stuff, iceplay (learned that one the hard way) sounding with things that were not made for sounding (you don't wanna know), forced bi, and pushing after I say no to anything, more will probably come up as we go.

Looks wise I'm 5'3, I have nice abs, a nice jawline, my face is more often described as cute than hot, I've got brown soft hair and big ol' blue eyes, I wear glasses and I'm white if you care. My build is athletic but I'm an endurance athlete so it's more on the skinny side.

As for what I'm looking for, I honestly can't even get too specific here, be really pretty, be interested in more than the kink stuff(and of course, be into the kink stuff too), be willing to share at least 1 sfw face/ body pic off the bat so I can tell what you look like. I'll oblige of course. Please no "Dracula talk" as I like to call it. "Is mistresses boy ready to be punished?" YEAUCH 🤢. Just be yourself and if you like me we can just go from there. Also I really like voice calls (sfw ones(and nsfw ones but unfortunately I don't live alone)) and streaming the super hard bullet hell games I play, cheer me on though them and my heart is yours. It's really important to me that you're able to voice/video call off the bat! My number 1 limit is existing purely as a wall of text. It's really important to me that I can hear you laugh, and see your face light up, different expressions, texting is good fun but it's way too limited for me to actually grow to like someone with texting alone and then the odd call here and there.

I mentioned that I couldn't get too specific and that's cause I don't really have a "type", I have like 20 types, and most of those types came about when I met someone new and found myself stricken, I don't have any racial preferences, I won't ask for specific facial features or height or asset size or anything, not because I'm willing to settle for some inferior version of a perfect woman, but because I find different features and heights and indeed asset sizes pretty for different reasons, all I ask is that you be generally in shape and hygienic, if you're my kind of person I'll most likely start simping eventually.

Location is important, UK based gets priority of course, but I'm willing to travel to cheap countries so long as you're willing to host, countries like Finland, Spain, Germany don't cost a lot plane ticket wise so if you're not in the UK don't fret, but yeah do check how viable a trip to your country is beforehand since I'm not interested in purely online. That said, THIS HAS GOT TO START ONLINE. My number one fear with anyone I meet on Reddit is that they're gonna kill me viciously when I meet them irl, as such the getting to know each other period is gonna have to happen online, doesn't have to be long, maybe a week of calls and text chats, just not "hey I live in such and such, let's skip the formalities and get to know each other in person", call me paranoid but fuck to the no.

If you like what you see, then leave a message that leads with your ASL, covers most of the same ground as this post here, and has like your favourite club penguin celebrity at the end so I know you read this far, actually that might be too niche. If you don't know any club penguin celebrities then just put the word "Gary" in there somewhere

There's a lot I didn't mention in this post because I secretly want you to ask me about it later (delete this bit before posting so that they don't think you're a freewheeling oddball who can't carry a conversation without being asked some random bullshit every 5 seconds) so do drop by, hope to hear from some of you!

"what the fuck? Who actually wants to be friendzoned?" I'll be straight with you, it's a kink thing, but it can be more than that too. I'm looking for someone I can actually get to know and like as a friend first, who's into some freaky shit which I'll explain later down the line.

Non-freaky me: I'm into MMA, videogames and art, not huge into music but looking to get in, I enjoy getting outdoors and I struggle to find a way to describe myself without putting myself to sleep, it's an exciting life to me okay? Jokes aside I enjoy getting into the weeds of any art I consume whether it's comics, videogames, TV shows and anime, that's my main hobby.

Freaky me: here's the fun part, I'm into a very specific type of thing, basically I'm a virgin and I really enjoy speaking to sexually active women who are out of my league and being teased for the fact, tell me about your lives, your dates, the sexy details therein, I guess you could call it a cuck thing but it's not quite that. The difference is hard to articulate though. And of course I'm into all things femdom but that's not really what this post is about, still if you're interested I won't say no. TL;DR, tease the shit out of me for not being the type of guy you'd see sexually and basically just keep me around as a kind of virgin jester/pet.

Looks wise I'm 5'3, I have nice abs, a nice jawline, my face is more often described as cute than hot, I've got brown soft hair and big ol' blue eyes, I wear glasses and I'm white if you care.

I wanna say that I do not genuinely see myself as a lesser human being for being a virgin, I just had a relationship like the one I'm describing once and have been yearning like you couldn't believe ever since. That said, it's fun to talk about it that way.

As for what I'm looking for, I honestly can't even get too specific here, be really pretty, be interested in more than the kink stuff, be willing to share at least 1 sfw face/ body pic so I can tell you're out of my league. I'll oblige of course. Please no "Dracula talk" as I like to call it. "Is mistresses boy ready to be punished?" YEAUCH 🤢. Just be yourself and if you like me we can just go from there. Also I really like voice calls (sfw ones(and nsfw ones but unfortunately I don't live alone)) and streaming the super hard bullet hell games I play, and I really want someone to share my art with. Hell even if you're not interested in the rest please drop by so I can show you what I drew last night.

There's a lot I didn't mention in this post because I super secretly deep down want you to ask me about it (note to self, delete this part so that they don't think you're an oddball who can't carry a conversation without being asked some random bullshit every few seconds)

"what the fuck? Who actually wants to be friendzoned?" I'll be straight with you, it's a kink thing, but it can be more than that too. I'm looking for someone I can actually get to know and like as a friend first, who's into some freaky shit which I'll explain later down the line.

Non-freaky me: I'm into MMA, videogames and art, not huge into music but looking to get in, I enjoy getting outdoors and I struggle to find a way to describe myself without putting myself to sleep, it's an exciting life to me okay? Jokes aside I enjoy getting into the weeds of any art I consume whether it's comics, videogames, TV shows and anime, that's my main hobby.

Freaky me: here's the fun part, I'm into a very specific type of thing, basically I'm a virgin and I really enjoy speaking to sexually active women who are out of my league and being teased for the fact, tell me about your lives, your dates, the sexy details therein, I guess you could call it a cuck thing but it's not quite that. The difference is hard to articulate though. And of course I'm into all things femdom but that's not really what this post is about, still if you're interested I won't say no. TL;DR, tease the shit out of me for not being the type of guy you'd see sexually and basically just keep me around as a kind of virgin jester/pet.

Looks wise I'm 5'3, I have nice abs, a nice jawline, my face is more often described as cute than hot, I've got brown soft hair and big ol' blue eyes, I wear glasses and I'm white if you care.

I wanna say that I do not genuinely see myself as a lesser human being for being a virgin, I just had a relationship like the one I'm describing once and have been yearning like you couldn't believe ever since. That said, it's fun to talk about it that way.

As for what I'm looking for, I honestly can't even get too specific here, be really pretty, be interested in more than the kink stuff, be willing to share at least 1 sfw face/ body pic so I can tell you're out of my league. I'll oblige of course. Please no "Dracula talk" as I like to call it. "Is mistresses boy ready to be punished?" YEAUCH 🤢. Just be yourself and if you like me we can just go from there. Also I really like voice calls (sfw ones(and nsfw ones but unfortunately I don't live alone)) and streaming the super hard bullet hell games I play, and I really want someone to share my art with. Hell even if you're not interested in the rest please drop by so I can show you what I drew last night.

There's a lot I didn't mention in this post because I super secretly deep down want you to ask me about it (note to self, delete this part so that they don't think you're an oddball who can't carry a conversation without being asked some random bullshit every few seconds)

​

intro paragraphs suck to write, I've been looking far and wide in what they call the "real world" for a good while now, and unfortunately everyone I can find is just a bit too 30+ years old. As such I'm on reddit, against my better judgement, looking for a \\\*checks notes\\\* special someone?

I am: Not gonna pretend to be more interesting than I am, I lead a pretty ordinary life, my work is pretty mundane (gardening) but at least I get outside and I get some good workouts depending on the job. I love drawing! I will totally draw diagrams of things we should do, I have a bunch of oc stuff, if you're a listener type we can definitely talk about it for hours on end, I draw my own reaction images. I draw. Number 1 passion is BJJ, been doing it for about 4 years now, good stuff, used to do MMA before I realised that being hit in the head sucks actually. I'm very into videogames, specifically old school stuff, I'm like the videogame equivalent of a film buff who thinks movies peaked in the 20s. Maybe more like the 60s kinda snes-ps2 + a lot of indie games, including 2 player puzzle games (wink-wink-nudge-nudge). I'm also big on nature, I like to feed birds and especially squirrels in the park, I'm trying to make friends with this one squirrel but he's being a real tsundere about it. I have a bunch of squirrel pics if you wanna see. I've also been getting into cooking, purely out of necessity but regardless, I can whip up something nice probably?

As far as me as a romantic/meta-sexual partner goes. I'm a sub, shocker, as far as non sex interaction goes I'm into being little spooned, backpacked, being told what to do in small ways (that shit has me especially weak) laying in ones lap and having my hair stroked for hours. Talking about random nonsense, and licking the top of fingernails. I'm extremely talkative and just a little clingy, I'm the type that will always let you know if i have to stop texting for a given amount of time and will hope that you do the same, I love yapping and listening and having back and forth conversations, something smooth to end this paragraph.

honestly I don't have very strict "type" or "preference" be generally in shape, shower regularly, speak decent English... That's kinda it? No racial preferences, no preference for height, facial features asset size blah blah, I actually really do love different features differently, no one is better than the other to me, like shorter than me is great, taller than me is great for different reasons, like I love them both, if I had my way the perfect girl would be like a xylophone that I can stretch and squish to my whims sex stuff:

sex wise I tend to be a sub as well, double shocker. I'm big on pleasure being a two way street, and mutual enjoyment. And consent, to a degree that I imagine some people might find a little overbearing? If you don't understand the phrase "consent is sexy" then scram! I say this because I do have a kink list, but everything on it goes out the window if you're not into it.

edging, chastity(but not permanent pr even slightly long term, it just doesn't work with the schedule) CT (no b, I learned that one the hard way, well maybe a little bit of b, we'll see as we go along), humiliation, degradation, bondage, idk the me for this but being tied up and teased for incredibly extended periods of time, giving head,

and probably a lot more, I'm really open to new and crazy shit so don't be afraid to float anything.

limits, there's a few: gore scat vomit all that stuff, raceplay of ANY kind, forced bi, iceplay (learned that the hard way), trying to subtly (it's never subtle btw) ween me on to things that you know I'm not into, ageplay. CNC.

THIS HAS GOT TO START ONLINE

My number 1 concern with anyone I meet on Reddit is that they're gonna kill me viciously when I meet them, as such a good few weeks/ a month or so getting familiar with each other over the net is gonna be required. I'm also very open to online relationship so long as it eventually gets brought into the real world, countries like Finland and Spain or Germany are easy to travel to for me so if you're not in the UK or nearby don't fret too much.

Final stretch: Lead with your ASL, and a decent sized intro, must be able to share sfw pics/video call off the bat just so we can see and hear each other.

Misc: I'm 5'3 (I know, I know), have a sharp jawline, with a niced toned body, twinky with a healthy dose of muscle more endurance athlete than bodybuilder, abs, and so forth, I have a deep ish voice with a funky accent. Brown soft hair, glasses. I really like spending extended periods of time on call even if we don't say anything, I have several scars and cuts on my body, the biggest being on my back and I'd prefer if questions about these were kept to a minimum.

Send a message, be chilled out please, if I see one "are you looking for a mistress" I'm gonna get full on 1950s work whistle angry, lead with your asl and then a decent sized intro that's as formal/informal as you like, so long as you cover the basics, be willing to send sfw pics (I'll do the same ofc). And be willing and able to voice call off the bat, I'm pretty pants at texting so VC/voice notes are where it's at for me.

no older than 26

mention your favourite club penguin celebrity or something idk so that I know you made it to the end, if you don't know any then just put the word "gary" somewhere in there.

Edit: and for the love of god, my name is not Gary, if I see one more DM that opens with "hi Gary!!! ✨✨" Crimes will be committed

​

"what the fuck? Who actually wants to be friendzoned?" I'll be straight with you, it's a kink thing, but it can be more than that too. I'm looking for someone I can actually get to know and like as a friend first, who's into some freaky shit which I'll explain later down the line.

Non-freaky me: I'm into MMA, videogames and art, not huge into music but looking to get in, I enjoy getting outdoors and I struggle to find a way to describe myself without putting myself to sleep, it's an exciting life to me okay? Jokes aside I enjoy getting into the weeds of any art I consume whether it's comics, videogames, TV shows and anime, that's my main hobby.

Freaky me: here's the fun part, I'm into a very specific type of thing, basically I'm a virgin and I really enjoy speaking to sexually active women who are out of my league and being teased for the fact, tell me about your lives, your dates, the sexy details therein, I guess you could call it a cuck thing but it's not quite that. The difference is hard to articulate though. And of course I'm into all things femdom but that's not really what this post is about, still if you're interested I won't say no. TL;DR, tease the shit out of me for not being the type of guy you'd see sexually and basically just keep me around as a kind of virgin jester/pet.

Looks wise I'm 5'3, I have nice abs, a nice jawline, my face is more often described as cute than hot, I've got brown soft hair and big ol' blue eyes, I wear glasses and I'm white if you care.

I wanna say that I do not genuinely see myself as a lesser human being for being a virgin, I just had a relationship like the one I'm describing once and have been yearning like you couldn't believe ever since. That said, it's fun to talk about it that way.

As for what I'm looking for, I honestly can't even get too specific here, be really pretty, be interested in more than the kink stuff, be willing to share at least 1 sfw face/ body pic so I can tell you're out of my league. I'll oblige of course. Please no "Dracula talk" as I like to call it. "Is mistresses boy ready to be punished?" YEAUCH 🤢. Just be yourself and if you like me we can just go from there. Also I really like voice calls (sfw ones(and nsfw ones but unfortunately I don't live alone)) and streaming the super hard bullet hell games I play, and I really want someone to share my art with. Hell even if you're not interested in the rest please drop by so I can show you what I drew last night.

There's a lot I didn't mention in this post because I super secretly deep down want you to ask me about it (note to self, delete this part so that they don't think you're an oddball who can't carry a conversation without being asked some random bullshit every few seconds)

​

"what the fuck? Who actually wants to be friendzoned?" I'll be straight with you, it's a kink thing, but it can be more than that too. I'm looking for someone I can actually get to know and like as a friend first, who's into some freaky shit which I'll explain later down the line.

Non-freaky me: I'm into MMA, videogames and art, not huge into music but looking to get in, I enjoy getting outdoors and I struggle to find a way to describe myself without putting myself to sleep, it's an exciting life to me okay? Jokes aside I enjoy getting into the weeds of any art I consume whether it's comics, videogames, TV shows and anime, that's my main hobby.

Freaky me: here's the fun part, I'm into a very specific type of thing, basically I'm a virgin and I really enjoy speaking to sexually active women who are out of my league and being teased for the fact, tell me about your lives, your dates, the sexy details therein, I guess you could call it a cuck thing but it's not quite that. The difference is hard to articulate though. And of course I'm into all things femdom but that's not really what this post is about, still if you're interested I won't say no. TL;DR, tease the shit out of me for not being the type of guy you'd see sexually and basically just keep me around as a kind of virgin jester/pet.

Looks wise I'm 5'3, I have nice abs, a nice jawline, my face is more often described as cute than hot, I've got brown soft hair and big ol' blue eyes, I wear glasses and I'm white if you care.

I wanna say that I do not genuinely see myself as a lesser human being for being a virgin, I just had a relationship like the one I'm describing once and have been yearning like you couldn't believe ever since. That said, it's fun to talk about it that way.

As for what I'm looking for, I honestly can't even get too specific here, be really pretty, be interested in more than the kink stuff, be willing to share at least 1 sfw face/ body pic so I can tell you're out of my league. I'll oblige of course. Please no "Dracula talk" as I like to call it. "Is mistresses boy ready to be punished?" YEAUCH 🤢. Just be yourself and if you like me we can just go from there. Also I really like voice calls (sfw ones(and nsfw ones but unfortunately I don't live alone)) and streaming the super hard bullet hell games I play, and I really want someone to share my art with. Hell even if you're not interested in the rest please drop by so I can show you what I drew last night.

There's a lot I didn't mention in this post because I super secretly deep down want you to ask me about it (note to self, delete this part so that they don't think you're an oddball who can't carry a conversation without being asked some random bullshit every few seconds)

​

intro paragraphs suck to write, I've been looking far and wide in what they call the "real world" for a good while now, and unfortunately everyone I can find is just a bit too 30+ years old. As such I'm on reddit, against my better judgement, looking for a \\\\\\\*checks notes\\\\\\\* special someone?

I am: Not gonna pretend to be more interesting than I am, I lead a pretty ordinary life, my work is pretty mundane (gardening) but at least I get outside and I get some good workouts depending on the job. I love drawing! I will totally draw diagrams of things we should do, I have a bunch of oc stuff, if you're a listener type we can definitely talk about it for hours on end, I draw my own reaction images. I draw. Number 1 passion is BJJ, been doing it for about 4 years now, good stuff, used to do MMA before I realised that being hit in the head sucks actually. I'm very into videogames, specifically old school stuff, I'm like the videogame equivalent of a film buff who thinks movies peaked in the 20s. Maybe more like the 60s kinda snes-ps2 + a lot of indie games, including 2 player puzzle games (wink-wink-nudge-nudge). I'm also big on nature, I like to feed birds and especially squirrels in the park, I'm trying to make friends with this one squirrel but he's being a real tsundere about it. I have a bunch of squirrel pics if you wanna see. I've also been getting into cooking, purely out of necessity but regardless, I can whip up something nice probably?

As far as me as a romantic/meta-sexual partner goes. I'm a sub, shocker, as far as non sex interaction goes I'm into being little spooned, backpacked, being told what to do in small ways (that shit has me especially weak) laying in ones lap and having my hair stroked for hours. Talking about random nonsense, and licking the top of fingernails. I'm extremely talkative and just a little clingy, I'm the type that will always let you know if i have to stop texting for a given amount of time and will hope that you do the same, I love yapping and listening and having back and forth conversations, something smooth to end this paragraph.

honestly I don't have very strict "type" or "preference" be generally in shape, shower regularly, speak decent English... That's kinda it? No racial preferences, no preference for height, facial features asset size blah blah, I actually really do love different features differently, no one is better than the other to me, like shorter than me is great, taller than me is great for different reasons, like I love them both, if I had my way the perfect girl would be like a xylophone that I can stretch and squish to my whims sex stuff:

sex wise I tend to be a sub as well, double shocker. I'm big on pleasure being a two way street, and mutual enjoyment. And consent, to a degree that I imagine some people might find a little overbearing? If you don't understand the phrase "consent is sexy" then scram! I say this because I do have a kink list, but everything on it goes out the window if you're not into it.

edging, chastity(but not permanent pr even slightly long term, it just doesn't work with the schedule) CT (no b, I learned that one the hard way, well maybe a little bit of b, we'll see as we go along), humiliation, degradation, bondage, idk the me for this but being tied up and teased for incredibly extended periods of time, giving head,

and probably a lot more, I'm really open to new and crazy shit so don't be afraid to float anything.

limits, there's a few: gore scat vomit all that stuff, raceplay of ANY kind, forced bi, iceplay (learned that the hard way), trying to subtly (it's never subtle btw) ween me on to things that you know I'm not into, ageplay. CNC.

THIS HAS GOT TO START ONLINE

My number 1 concern with anyone I meet on Reddit is that they're gonna kill me viciously when I meet them, as such a good few weeks/ a month or so getting familiar with each other over the net is gonna be required. I'm also very open to online relationship so long as it eventually gets brought into the real world, countries like Finland and Spain or Germany are easy to travel to for me so if you're not in the UK or nearby don't fret too much.

Final stretch: Lead with your ASL, and a decent sized intro, must be able to share sfw pics/video call off the bat just so we can see and hear each other.

Misc: I'm 5'3 (I know, I know), have a sharp jawline, with a niced toned body, twinky with a healthy dose of muscle more endurance athlete than bodybuilder, abs, and so forth, I have a deep ish voice with a funky accent. Brown soft hair, glasses. I really like spending extended periods of time on call even if we don't say anything, I have several scars and cuts on my body, the biggest being on my back and I'd prefer if questions about these were kept to a minimum.

Send a message, be chilled out please, if I see one "are you looking for a mistress" I'm gonna get full on 1950s work whistle angry, lead with your asl and then a decent sized intro that's as formal/informal as you like, so long as you cover the basics, be willing to send sfw pics (I'll do the same ofc). And be willing and able to voice call off the bat, I'm pretty pants at texting so VC/voice notes are where it's at for me.

no older than 26

mention your favourite club penguin celebrity or something idk so that I know you made it to the end, if you don't know any then just put the word "gary" somewhere in there.

so I get that guys often have trouble making posts that are actually appealing to women who are into friendzoning, that being the case I thought I might ask for some notes on a post of my own that I plan to submit to r4r, maybe some others, I'm not sure if this place is quite right for personals? but if it is then yeah I guess here too. Anyone who's keen to help me out here just send a dm cuz I really wanna get this right. Obviously women preferred just cuz they tend to know what they're looking for, guys are welcome too but you'd better bloody well have some credentials to your name

"what the fuck? Who actually wants to be friendzoned?" I'll be straight with you, it's a kink thing, but it can be more than that too. I'm looking for someone I can actually get to know and like as a friend first, who's into some freaky shit which I'll explain later down the line.

Non-freaky me: I'm into MMA, videogames and art, not huge into music but looking to get in, I enjoy getting outdoors and I struggle to find a way to describe myself without putting myself to sleep, it's an exciting life to me okay? Jokes aside I enjoy getting into the weeds of any art I consume whether it's comics, videogames, TV shows and anime, that's my main hobby.

Freaky me: here's the fun part, I'm into a very specific type of thing, basically I'm a virgin and I really enjoy speaking to sexually active women who are out of my league and being teased for the fact, tell me about your lives, your dates, the sexy details therein, I guess you could call it a cuck thing but it's not quite that. The difference is hard to articulate though. And of course I'm into all things femdom but that's not really what this post is about, still if you're interested I won't say no. TL;DR, tease the shit out of me for not being the type of guy you'd see sexually and basically just keep me around as a kind of virgin jester/pet.

Looks wise I'm 5'3, I have nice abs, a nice jawline, my face is more often described as cute than hot, I've got brown soft hair and big ol' blue eyes, I wear glasses and I'm white if you care.

I wanna say that do not genuinely see myself as a lesser human being for being a virgin, I just had a relationship like the one I'm describing once and have been yearning like you couldn't believe ever since. That said, it's fun to talk about it that way.

As for what I'm looking for, I honestly can't even get too specific here, be really pretty, be interested in more than the kink stuff, be willing to share at least 1 sfw face/ body pic so I can tell you're out of my league. I'll oblige of course. Please no "Dracula talk" as I like to call it. "Is mistresses boy ready to be punished?" YEAUCH 🤢. Just be yourself and if you like me we can just go from there. Also I really like voice calls (sfw ones(and nsfw ones but unfortunately I don't live alone)) and streaming the super hard bullet hell games I play, and I really want someone to share my art with. Hell even if you're not interested in the rest please drop by so I can show you what I drew last night.

There's a lot I didn't mention in this post because I super secretly deep down want you to ask me about it (note to self, delete this part so that they don't think you're an oddball who can't carry a conversation without being asked some random bullshit every few seconds)

​

intro paragraphs suck to write, I've been looking far and wide in what they call the "real world" for a good while now, and unfortunately everyone I can find is just a bit too 30+ years old. As such I'm on reddit, against my better judgement, looking for a \*checks notes\* special someone?

I am: Not gonna pretend to be more interesting than I am, I lead a pretty ordinary life, my work is pretty mundane (gardening) but at least I get outside and I get some good workouts depending on the job. I love drawing! I will totally draw diagrams of things we should do, I have a bunch of oc stuff, if you're a listener type we can definitely talk about it for hours on end, I draw my own reaction images. I draw. Number 1 passion is BJJ, been doing it for about 4 years now, good stuff, used to do MMA before I realised that being hit in the head sucks actually. I'm very into videogames, specifically old school stuff, I'm like the videogame equivalent of a film buff who thinks movies peaked in the 20s. Maybe more like the 60s kinda snes-ps2 + a lot of indie games, including 2 player puzzle games (wink-wink-nudge-nudge). I'm also big on nature, I like to feed birds and especially squirrels in the park, I'm trying to make friends with this one squirrel but he's being a real tsundere about it. I have a bunch of squirrel pics if you wanna see. I've also been getting into cooking, purely out of necessity but regardless, I can whip up something nice probably?

As far as me as a romantic/meta-sexual partner goes. I'm a sub, shocker, as far as non sex interaction goes I'm into being little spooned, backpacked, being told what to do in small ways (that shit has me especially weak) laying in ones lap and having my hair stroked for hours. Talking about random nonsense, and licking the top of fingernails. I'm extremely talkative and just a little clingy, I'm the type that will always let you know if i have to stop texting for a given amount of time and will hope that you do the same, I love yapping and listening and having back and forth conversations, something smooth to end this paragraph.

honestly I don't have very strict "type" or "preference" be generally in shape, shower regularly, speak decent English... That's kinda it? No racial preferences, no preference for height, facial features asset size blah blah, I actually really do love different features differently, no one is better than the other to me, like shorter than me is great, taller than me is great for different reasons, like I love them both, if I had my way the perfect girl would be like a xylophone that I can stretch and squish to my whims sex stuff:

sex wise I tend to be a sub as well, double shocker. I'm big on pleasure being a two way street, and mutual enjoyment. And consent, to a degree that I imagine some people might find a little overbearing? If you don't understand the phrase "consent is sexy" then scram! I say this because I do have a kink list, but everything on it goes out the window if you're not into it.

edging, chastity(but not permanent pr even slightly long term, it just doesn't work with the schedule) CT (no b, I learned that one the hard way, well maybe a little bit of b, we'll see as we go along), humiliation, degradation, bondage, idk the me for this but being tied up and teased for incredibly extended periods of time, giving head,

and probably a lot more, I'm really open to new and crazy shit so don't be afraid to float anything.

limits, there's a few: gore scat vomit all that stuff, raceplay of ANY kind, forced bi, iceplay (learned that the hard way), trying to subtly (it's never subtle btw) ween me on to things that you know I'm not into, ageplay. CNC.

THIS HAS GOT TO START ONLINE

My number 1 concern with anyone I meet on Reddit is that they're gonna kill me viciously when I meet them, as such a good few weeks/ a month or so getting familiar with each other over the net is gonna be required. I'm also very open to online relationship so long as it eventually gets brought into the real world, countries like Finland and Spain or Germany are easy to travel to for me so if you're not in the UK or nearby don't fret too much.

Final stretch: Lead with your ASL, and a decent sized intro, must be able to share sfw pics/video call off the bat just so we can see and hear each other.

Misc: I'm 5'3 (I know, I know), have a sharp jawline, with a niced toned body, twinky with a healthy dose of muscle more endurance athlete than bodybuilder, abs, and so forth, I have a deep ish voice with a funky accent. Brown soft hair, glasses. I really like spending extended periods of time on call even if we don't say anything, I have several scars and cuts on my body, the biggest being on my back and I'd prefer if questions about these were kept to a minimum.

Send a message, be chilled out please, if I see one "are you looking for a mistress" I'm gonna get full on 1950s work whistle angry, lead with your asl and then a decent sized intro that's as formal/informal as you like, so long as you cover the basics, be willing to send sfw pics (I'll do the same ofc). And be willing and able to voice call off the bat, I'm pretty pants at texting so VC/voice notes are where it's at for me.

no older than 26

mention your favourite club penguin celebrity or something idk so that I know you made it to the end, if you don't know any then just put the word "gary" somewhere in there.

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Title says it all really.

I'm looking for a kind of "unequal friendship" with a woman with an active sex life who likes to make fun of men who she'd never give a chance otherwise.

In the long term I'm looking for someone who'd be into teasing me for being a virgin while going out and doing whatever they want, kind of like a cuck but more like a pet virgin that you make fun of here and there while you go out here and there and have your real fun, letting me into just a slice of your exciting life. And ofc I'm into all things femdom if that's your thing as well

I don't wanna spoil all my shortcomings, but I'm a quickshot, not had my first kiss yet, closest I ever got was being stepped on, and ofc, it's on the smaller side... See if anyone can guess how small it is in their first message.

Physically I'm 5'2, athletic physique, nice abs, brown hair, I'm white if you care.

Lead with your ASL, I'll send as many photos as you ask me for, I would like at least one sfw pic just to see if you're hot. If you are then I'll literally be completely subservient to you.

When I was a teenager my friend introduced me to this beautiful girl, she was a ginger, taller than me and of course it didn't take long for me to develop a crush. for whatever reason took a liking to me, at the time I met her she was hooking up with this other guy and would take every opportunity to bring it up. At the time I just thought she was oblivious, and of course I played along but inside I was dying, I wasn't really into all this at the time you see.

The more we knew eachother the more she would divulge, texts about how she's going out to a Halloween party and was gonna make out with all the boys there, she'd tell me when she was going on dates and how they were. Again, all before I properly knew about friendzoning.

The most painful was when she gave me a phone call literally right after hooking up with her guy friend, she was breathless and complained to me about how now her clothes are stained and her parents were gonna notice. I'm not proud to say that I pumped it to photos of her after the conversation. She also sent me a picture of her covered in hickeys after describing a night of sex with her new boyfriend. All while I was at home. Alone, it was torture at the time.

But in retrospect I see what she was doing and I'm honestly greatful for the memories, I only wish I could find someone so perfect in the present. We ended up drifting apart when she got a serious boyfriend and we just didn't talk anymore, I still think about her all the time though, even though she probably never thinks about me. Now all I want is for someone to friendzone and cuck me the same way she did. And make no mistake she definitely took pleasure in it, which again, I didn't realise at the time.

Appreciate what you have betas, that's the moral here. Don't end up like me, desperately searching for something like what what I had right in front of me for almost a year and coming up short.