u/Objective-Leek-1414

I (m33) feel like my wife (f27) loves me very much. We have a lot of fun together and do dates and spend lots of time enjoying our childless years. Together for about 6 years now. But I have stopped feeling truly sexually desired.

It’s hard to explain because it’s not really a sex DRIVE issue, I don’t necessarily mind the lower frequency- I just would like that once a week average to feel like something besides “wifely duty 3-minute missionary sex in the same damn bed”

I’ve talk with her many times about ideas for trying new things, new positions, new locations, role play, toys etc…she used to be *slightly* more receptive to these types of ideas though she has always rarely been fully sexually expressive with her energy towards me. It sometimes comes out when drunk, and she used to have quite a bit more, relatively.

It stems from a lot, and I’m not looking to solve all the things she has said she wants to work through, nor can I, those are her journey.

I’m just tired of having chore sex I guess. Love her to death, but it creates such an itch for me when I am engaged sexually so infrequently. I’m not even saying that in the sense that it needs to be penetration every time either. I would settle for some passionate kissing or even a handjob where she doesn’t seem bored. I’ve brought all this up, idk what to do anymore

Tl;dr I’ve worked up the confidence to post my dick on Reddit but not much else in an effort to satisfy my sexual attention void, wondering if this is “unchristian”

I (m33) have a much higher sex drive than my wife (f27) so I find myself craving sexual attention but have no desire to cheat. Her drive has steadily declined since our wedding day.

I watch porn on occasion but refrain from actually masturbating to it (not sure why but somehow that makes it “less bad” in my brain).

My wife shows me little to no interest in my body until the moment we have sex (once a week average) though insisting she finds me physically attractive. I take care of myself and just don’t feel I get appreciated sexually.

Anyway I’ve searched for outlets that would satisfy that a little more that wouldn’t be cheating. Not sure where it leaves me? We’ve had several discussions around sex, she always brushes me off or says she’s stressed but then will not give specifics on how to help and usually just ends up in me doing a ton of household chores to help despite working full time. Not a criticism of her I just don’t know what else to do

My wife and I have only done one, years ago. I want to do more but would like it to not be boring and one angle across the room but also that doesn’t require buying a bunch of lighting and a new camera lol

She’s also really shy so she has to be just in the perfect mindset when the stars align

I (m31) waited until marriage because I grew up in a pretty strict Catholic household. I resisted any opportunities I had, and I had some good ones all through HS and college, all for the hope of “one day you’ll have the best sex ever with whoever you marry”

I met a girl during a study abroad program who was also from the state I grew up, Protestant (f29) and fell in love, we decided not to wait for marriage, the sex was good, and we got married a few years later.

Now 3 years in we’ve faded into what I’d call “vanilla” sex. I’m pretty hypersexual and have lots of stuff on my bucket list, but I’m finding my wife is progressively less interested in anything but missionary and me finishing inside a condom. No blowjobs, hell rarely let’s me even eat her out.

She doesn’t have any interest in trying my new kinks or hearing me out about them. And I think they’re fairly tame-things like pegging, anal (even just a finger) or even facials. She wants none of it. It may stem from insecurity or just genuine lack of interest I haven’t been able to truly answer, that really isn’t important to this post though, because

What I just can’t help, is the recurring thought that *I wished I had just had fun when I could’ve*…like I waited all these years, all those lonely nights, for THIS?

It’s not a dead bedroom or anything and I love my wife don’t get me wrong, but I can’t help but think I wished I would’ve indulged-even just a little in my younger years. This really wasn’t what I was “promised” by my worldview. I only have myself to blame I suppose

Thanks for listening

Talking maybe a 2-3x times a year when I say occasional

If so, what was the reception like?

I (m31) have recurring anal fissures now over the course of years and it’s so frustrating. I went to a colorectal surgeon months ago who told me “everything looks great, you don’t need surgery”

I’ll have periods of time where I’m fine for a few weeks but then one day its either a bad shit or a toy and it relapses. I don’t know if it’s the same tear or new ones but I need advice.

I have tried nifedipine ointment and this usually clears it up. But I’m looking for longer term solutions

After months of trying off and on (m31)

It took a few hours of getting progressively turned on. Had porn on and vibrator on my prostate laying on my side with my knees up. Cuck porn for some reason worked for me lol

I think what was different this time is I accepted I didn’t “have” to orgasm. It took about 10 minutes when I felt a build up and this time I just breathed through it instead of tensing.

Weirdly I wasn’t even hard. I also feel like I didn’t cum a lot of volume. Honestly it was slightly underwhelming given some people’s descriptions of how it feels. Maybe that’s just a beginner one!

Anyway, exciting new world.

Straight male (m31) have been playing around with putting things in my ass to try to get a prostate/anal orgasm for a few months now.

Today I was watching porn and had my anal vibrator in for about 10 or 15 minutes when I started to notice some pleasurable, but very slight, spasms just around my sphincter/anus area. It didn’t go beyond this and it didn’t feel intensely pleasurable, just mildly nice. I had good amount of precum leaking too. Any ideas on how to break through the plateau?

Is this an beginnings of an anal orgasm or something else?