So ive been debating about getting into chastity for a while and decided to pull the trigger! Been caged for a week, only removing it for showers and other stuff, but been quite addicted to being caged. Anyone felt the same when begin the chastity process? Been loving it so far!
So my wife and I engage in chastity frequently and for long periods. Sometimes just a week, other times it can be up to a month.
I really enjoy the control and humiliation. She likes the thought that she has full control and the way it changes me mentally to be more subservient.
Recently on a trip away where we were going clubbing and we planned for her to make out and dance with some guys. I had the idea to have the two keys for the chastity cage on hoops on her ears.
Long story short, it was great and she loved it. She thinks it looks really hot having the keys there. So much so that she wants to wear them whenever I'm caged for outing with friends or any sort of outing that I am also caged.
Question is that what are the odds that friends figure out that I'm caged as the keys are quite distinct? We never mix this stuff with friends or family. But she really like the look of them and I like the risk of public exposure. But I don't want it to actually happen.
I (42M) am way hornier and kinkier than my lovely wife (45F) of 16 years. The best solution I'm able to come up with, is save many of the kinkier tasks for myself. She has a tolerance for somethings, but just isn't enthusiastic, and really doesn't get chastity.
I love chastity and use it with her at times, mostly as a way to edge if I'm giving her a long sensual massage, or maybe out during a date night dinner which just keeps me laser focused on her and having a positive night because I cannot get the sex portion of the night out of my mind. It puts me in such an erotic headspace.
Otherwise, it's mostly me self-locking which makes me impossible horny.
I'd love to hear from other penis having individuals that don't have the key-holder dynamic. I want to hear what I am missing out on and what I should be doing that I'm not today. I want to do more, just need the ideas.
P.S. I'm getting a chastity belt today to keep it a little more snug, and cannot wait to take delivery and get locked.
Are there actually couples where both partners are locked? Even without any D/S dynamic like mutual keyholding or when the dominant person hold both keys. I can think of a role play or denial on agreement to make the intimacy stronger.
I found only one article about it where a couple decided to be both locked for 30 days as a part of a contest. Not sure if I can link it here. The interesting part they discussed was it may lead to a frustration that they can spend the nights together, just without the intercourse. For me it is more like a dream :-)
How do u selflocked yourself for month I mean 14 days Is possible but its already hard ( included cleaning ) u always Find a reason to take it off . Its far aways u will find a way its in a box u will find a way. what is the way that the keys is available only for emergency and weekly big cleaning without a KH? Please help ❤️
Hi everyone,
I thought I’d introduce myself and share how I ended up here.
I’m a guy in my early 50s from Australia, married to an amazing woman who has become my Keyholder. We’ve always had a very open and honest relationship, and over the years we’ve become increasingly comfortable talking about fantasies, kinks and the things that genuinely strengthen our relationship.
The interesting thing is that for us, chastity wasn’t originally about kink at all.
The catalyst was that I realised my masturbation and porn habits had gradually become something I wasn’t happy with. They were becoming excessive, to the point that they were reducing my desire and arousal for the person I actually wanted most, my wife. I wanted to change that.
At the same time, my libido has always been naturally higher than hers, and as we’ve gotten older the gap has become even more noticeable. I found myself wanting sexual stimulation far more often than she did. Chastity seemed like a way to solve both problems. It gives her genuine agency over our sexual relationship while allowing me to enjoy the anticipation, denial and mental stimulation without constantly chasing orgasm.
We’re only on Day 3, so we’re complete beginners.
At the moment, my wife unlocks me each evening before bed so I can shower, sleep comfortably and check that everything is healthy. The cage goes straight back on in the morning. That routine is working really well for both of us while we learn.
We’re treating this as a four-week trial. At the end, we’ll sit down together and honestly discuss what’s working, what isn’t, and whether we want to continue full-time, use chastity intermittently, or take it in a different direction. Neither of us feels locked into an outcome. We’re simply curious to see what it does for our relationship.
What has surprised me most isn’t the physical side, it’s how comfortable I feel wearing the cage. I expected it to feel restrictive, but instead I find myself enjoying the denial, the constant reminder of our dynamic, and the knowledge that my orgasms are no longer entirely my decision.
It has also removed a lot of the pressure I felt to perform. Like most men my age, erections aren’t quite what they were twenty years ago, and somehow being caged has taken that pressure away. It allows me to focus much more on her, and intimacy feels more relaxed and enjoyable for both of us.
What has surprised me even more is how quickly my wife has embraced being my Keyholder.
I honestly thought I’d be the one driving most of this because it was initially my idea. Instead, she’s started taking ownership of the dynamic in ways I never expected. She’s begun teasing me throughout the day, building anticipation, and reminding me that my pleasure is now something she controls rather than something I simply take for myself.
Today she even called me during the day and instructed me to use a prostate toy she’d bought for me while I remained locked. What struck me wasn’t the instruction itself, but the confidence with which she gave it. For the first time, I realised she wasn’t just going along with my idea, she was genuinely stepping into the Keyholder role and discovering what she enjoys about it.
That moment made me realise that chastity isn’t simply about preventing masturbation and orgasms. It’s about anticipation, connection, trust, and giving her agency over an aspect of our relationship that had ostensibly been mine to control. I feel incredibly fortunate that she’s not only willing to try this, but seems to be genuinely enjoying the role herself.
I’m here to learn from people with more experience than me. I’m interested in the psychology of chastity, how long-term dynamics evolve, what works, what doesn’t, and how other couples have found it has changed their relationships over months and years.
One question for those of you who have been doing this for a while: have you ever told close friends or family? My instinct is to keep this private, but I do have one very close male friend I’ve considered confiding in. At the same time, I’m conscious that once you tell someone you can’t untell them, and I’d hate for it to become gossip within our wider friendship group. I’d be interested to hear how others have approached that.
Looking forward to learning from all of you.
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TL;DR: Married Australian guy in his early 50s, currently on Day 3 of a four-week chastity trial with my wife as Keyholder. We started primarily to reduce masturbation and porn, improve intimacy, and better manage our mismatched libidos. So far we’re both surprised by how much we’re enjoying it, especially how naturally my wife has embraced the Keyholder role. I’m here to learn from couples with more experience and hear how chastity has evolved in your relationships.
Hi all!
After many years of interest I 27F have finally gotten my BF 29M a cage! Being new to key holding I don’t want to put too much stress on him and make him not enjoy it. Is there a rule of thumb for beginner lock up times, newbie tasks, etc? Any tips and tricks would be appreciated as we explore! He seems super interested I just don’t want to push too hard or make a mistake. Thanks!
We returned from vacation yesterday. It was a great week off, but getting back home was extremely exhausting. I only got 3 hours of sleep the night before we started very early in the morning. When we finally arrived home yesterday evening, I still had to prepare a lot for work today and - again - only got four hours of sleep. I was obviously locked for the last few days, and couldn't even think of any any form of play session or release.
So when I came back from work this evening, I found her vibrator in our bed. I just quickly asked her if she had masturbated and she smiled and said yes. I didn't comment on it, since I don't want to make her feel bad. However, I feel a little hurt. She could have told me to pleasure her yesterday and I would have done it eagerly. Or she could at least have sent me a picture or dropped me a quick message to tease me.
I don't even really know how I feel right now tbh. I'm aroused by the thought of her making herself cum. But I'm also envyous because I couldn't be part of it. Then, I want to feel happy for her that she can enjoy herself so openly, but at the same time I feel exlucded that she wouldn't even have told me about it.
I have strangely never felt this way and this is the first time in our five years of chastity play that her masturbating makes me feel kind of sad (?). I absolutely don't want to confront her about it, since I absolutely don't want her to feel bad in any way for masturbating. Even if I would just talk about my feelings. I don't even really know what I expect from posting here. Maybe somebody has ever experienced the same and might tell me, what I'm feeling? :D
Sidenote: She hates it, when I have masturbated in the past and it's one of the reasons why we practice chastity (amongst many others). I consider it a win-win-situation, since it's playing into my fetish. I have completely stopped masturbating a few years ago. She, however, can do as she wants and I often encourage her to pleasure herself.
For me its an anchor that also shows my inadequacy and my discipline or my will for everyone who sees it.
whats your take? just a fetish stuff or something deeper?
I noticed that most people who arent serious about actually being long term are in a frustration loop of wanting to be caged- you wear a cage for a week or two- cant stand frustration,lack of orgasm, or addiction goes into the overdrive-you unlock cum and either relock or leave it for a while-you get disencouraged and then you are primed for failure next time. i should find some discord groups for chastity maybe? that way when i feel weak then i can talk with some people who will encourage you to go on and cheer when you sucseed??
So I've been practicing now for roughly 4 months. I have never been worried about my size, but I've found that my favorite cage is my small nub cage. I feel it wears best for work. Restrictive to erections with the elastic strap. And just really blocks out feeling at all. I am struggling with erections still at night, but mainly because I'm a stomach sleeper. But after I shower I'm the morning and before I cage back up, it's just kinda shriveled and sucked up.b kinda messing with me a little bit. Is this a normal phenomenon or feeling. Sometimes I kinda chuckle at it, while others I feel a little self pity.47m here.
I have been dealing with a dwindling sex life in my marriage, recently resulting in a dead bedroom. My husband has shared his issues and we are trying to work through them, but there isn't a quick fix to anything. In the meantime, I am exploring chastity and how it can help me reclaim my power and self confidence despite the dead bedroom situation.
Today is Day 2. Yesterday I wore my cable style belt for 7.5 hrs. I was shocked at how quickly my mindset changed to be incredibly aroused and even experienced a heightened sense of submission. I am naturally sexually submissive and this was ramped up to an 11 while I was wearing my belt yesterday. I played a bit with it on as well, teasing and denying myself in the afternoon. I was happy and somewhat light hearted when I was done. My husband even noticed that I was in a happier mood.
I am wearing it again today and am very curious to see how wearing it regularly impacts my fantasies, sexual play, and general mindset.
He may have put me into chastity by not wanting to engage in sex with me, but I can still have fun with that marital chastity on my own.