u/Sad-Balance8195

Does anyone have any funny or Embarrassing stories being caught masterbating????

Im in my 50s and have been masterbating since I was around 14 and only been caught twice

Let me share my stories:

1st Time I was around 19 and I worked 3rd shift so I used to get home around 800am well this was one Saturday Morning got home after a Friday night shift I get home jump into the shower then go into my room totally not knowing what was happening downstairs apparently my Aunts came over to hang out with my Mom witch they do on Weekends alot but anyways i go into my room laying on my bed butt naked start jerking off because I was kinda Horny because there were two girls in the qc department who are hot and like to flirt with me soo im jacking off thinking about them getting close really close just about to cum when my aunt bust into my room asking me if I want some pancakes she literally stood there and watched me finish!!! She said clean yourself up amd come and eat!!!! I dont think she ever told anyone but she used to hustle my ball about it for years!!!!

The 2nd time was after I was already married I had my kids well my wife had to go out with the kids ro a party or something so I had the house to myself so im in my bedroom jacking away I had an amazing time came all over myself im lying in bed with jizz all over my belly and chest the door to the room was open because no one was supposed to be there i look up and my Mother in Law is standing in the doorway im like shocked and embarrassed im like omg!!! How long have you been there she was like long enough!!! I didn't know what to say she was just like looks like my daughter isn't taking care of thqt for you!!!! I was ummmm nope!! She was like to bad!!! We literally had like a conversation for like 5 minutes or so about how my wife isn't giving me enough sex as im butt naked covered in my own cum!!! She eventually was ok ill let you clean up talk to you later!!! I was ummmm ok!!!

Was literally the craziest thing and once in a while she'd ask me ohhhh hey how's things going ya know?!?! Im like ummm good!!!

Crazy!!!

Anyone else have crazy stories!?!?

50 [M4F]

is my girl out there

ONLINE ONLY

Hello everyone

I'm here looking for the one!! I'm looking for someone consistent someone who will send more than one or 2 messages an hour someone who may want to stick around past one hour one day on month maybe more I'm looking for someone who is genuine, honest and trustworthy looking for someone i can share inside jokes with tell random things to someone who wants to get to know me for me because I think I'm a pretty good and funny person well thats what I've been told anyway IDK someone who I can send a message to in the middle of the night so they see it first thing in the morning someone i can sneak away from a family event and say hi to and shes actually interested in what's happening

Someone who's going to get excited when there notifications go off!!!

About me I'm married father of 3 been married over 30 years but things are good but not good if that makes sense a little bit about me im bald yes not by choice I have brown eyes im 5 10 I work out so im in pretty good shape not perfect but not a dad bod either I like in New England EST I love running sports,movies streaming TV Shows and i love pro wrestling (please don't tell me its fake what are you going to tell me there's no Santa next)

Not looking to change anyone's situation or myown

But maybe this is the part that turns ladies off but I ha e to be honest this is Reddit a d yes im here for the other stuff to Flirting leading to other intimate things, pictures and videos but but all in time and whe. Your comfortable id NEVER ask anyone to anything they dont want to do

Hopefully that covers the basics

Hopefully this wasn't to long

If this sounds interesting to you DM me

Im here!!!!

​

Is my girl out there

ONLINE ONLY

Hello everyone

I'm here looking for the one!! I'm looking for someone consistent someone who will send more than one or 2 messages an hour someone who may want to stick around past one hour one day on month maybe more I'm looking for someone who is genuine, honest and trustworthy looking for someone i can share inside jokes with tell random things to someone who wants to get to know me for me because I think I'm a pretty good and funny person well thats what I've been told anyway IDK someone who I can send a message to in the middle of the night so they see it first thing in the morning someone i can sneak away from a family event and say hi to and shes actually interested in what's happening

Someone who's going to get excited when there notifications go off!!!

About me I'm Married father of 2 been married over 30 years but things are good but not good if that makes sense a little bit about me im bald yes not by choice I have brown eyes im 5 10 I work out so im in pretty good shape not perfect but not a dad bod either I like in New England EST I love running sports,movies streaming TV Shows and i love pro wrestling (please don't tell me its fake what are you going to tell me there's no Santa next)

Not looking to change anyone's situation or myown

But maybe this is the part that turns ladies off but I ha e to be honest this is Reddit a d yes im here for the other stuff to Flirting leading to other intimate things, pictures and videos but but all in time and whe. Your comfortable id NEVER ask anyone to anything they dont want to do

Hopefully that covers the basics

Hopefully this wasn't to long

If this sounds interesting to you DM me

Im here!!!!

M50 is my girl out there

Looking ONLINE ONLY

Hello everyone

I'm here looking for the one!! I'm looking for someone consistent someone who will send more than one or 2 messages an hour someone who may want to stick around past one hour one day on month maybe more I'm looking for someone who is genuine, honest and trustworthy looking for someone i can share inside jokes with tell random things to someone who wants to get to know me for me because I think I'm a pretty good and funny person well thats what I've been told anyway IDK someone who I can send a message to in the middle of the night so they see it first thing in the morning someone i can sneak away from a family event and say hi to and shes actually interested in what's happening

Someone who's going to get excited when there notifications go off!!!

About me I'm 50s married been married over 30 years but sexless for 2 and the sex was going down hill for the last 5 years im bald yes not by choice I have brown eyes im 5 10 I work out so im in pretty good shape not perfect but not a dad bod either I like in New England EST I love running sports,movies TV Shows and Pro Wrestling (dont tell me its fake are you going to tell me there's no Santa next)

Not looking to change anyone's situation or myown

But maybe this is the part that turns ladies off but I ha e to be honest this is Reddit a d yes im here for the other stuff to Flirting talking dirty leading to sexting and pictures and videos but but all in time and whe. Your comfortable id NEVER ask anyone to anything they dont want to do

Hopefully that covers the basics

Hopefully this wasn't to long

If this sounds interesting to you DM me

Im here!!!!

M50 is my girl out there

Looking ONLINE ONLY

Not opposed to moving to another app if things progress to that point

Hello everyone

I'm here looking for the one!! I'm looking for someone consistent someone who will send more than one or 2 messages an hour someone who may want to stick around past one hour one day on month maybe more I'm looking for someone who is genuine, honest and trustworthy looking for someone i can share inside jokes with tell random things to someone who wants to get to know me for me because I think I'm a pretty good and funny person well thats what I've been told anyway IDK someone who I can send a message to in the middle of the night so they see it first thing in the morning someone i can sneak away from a family event and say hi to and shes actually interested in what's happening

Someone who's going to get excited when there notifications go off!!!

About me I'm married been married over 30 years but sexless for 2 and the sex was going down hill for the last 5 years im bald yes not by choice I have brown eyes im 5 10 I work out so im in pretty good shape not perfect but not a dad bod either I like in New England EST I love running sports,movies,streaming tv shows and Pro Wrestling (dont tell me its fake are you going to tell me there's no Santa next)

Not looking to change anyone's situation or my own

But maybe this is the part that turns ladies off but I ha e to be honest this is Reddit a d yes im here for the other stuff to Flirting talking dirty leading to sexting and pictures and videos but but all in time and whe. Your comfortable id NEVER ask anyone to anything they dont want to do

Hopefully that covers the basics

Hopefully this wasn't to long

If this sounds interesting to you DM me

Im here!!!!

M50 is my girl out there

Looking ONLINE ONLY

Hello everyone

I'm here looking for the one!! I'm looking for someone consistent someone who will send more than one or 2 messages an hour someone who may want to stick around past one hour one day on month maybe more I'm looking for someone who is genuine, honest and trustworthy looking for someone i can share inside jokes with tell random things to someone who wants to get to know me for me because I think I'm a pretty good and funny person well thats what I've been told anyway IDK someone who I can send a message to in the middle of the night so they see it first thing in the morning someone i can sneak away from a family event and say hi to and shes actually interested in what's happening

Someone who's going to get excited when there notifications go off!!!

About me I'm married been married over 30 years but sexless for 2 and the sex was going down hill for the last 5 years im bald yes not by choice I have brown eyes im 5 10 I work out so im in pretty good shape not perfect but not a dad bod either I like in New England ET I love running sports,movies and sleeping!!!

Not looking to change anyone's situation or myown

But maybe this is the part that turns ladies off but I ha e to be honest this is Reddit a d yes im here for the other stuff to Flirting talking dirty leading to sexting and pictures and videos but but all in time and whe. Your comfortable id NEVER ask anyone to anything they dont want to do

Hopefully that covers the basics

Hopefully this wasn't to long

If this sounds interesting to you DM me

Im here!!!!

M50 is my girl out there

Im looking ONLINE ONLY

Hello everyone

I'm here looking for the one!! I'm looking for someone consistent someone who will send more than one or 2 messages an hour someone who may want to stick around past one hour one day on month maybe more I'm looking for someone who is genuine, honest and trustworthy looking for someone i can share inside jokes with tell random things to someone who wants to get to know me for me because I think I'm a pretty good and funny person well thats what I've been told anyway IDK someone who I can send a message to in the middle of the night so they see it first thing in the morning someone i can sneak away from a family event and say hi to and shes actually interested in what's happening

Someone who's going to get excited when there notifications go off!!!

About me I'm married been married over 30 years but sexless for 2 and the sex was going down hill for the last 5 years im bald yes not by choice I have brown eyes im 5 10 I work out so im in pretty good shape not perfect but not a dad bod either I like in New England ET I love running sports,movies and sleeping!!!

Not looking to change anyone's situation or myown

But maybe this is the part that turns ladies off but I ha e to be honest this is Reddit a d yes im here for the other stuff to Flirting talking dirty leading to sexting and pictures and videos but but all in time and whe. Your comfortable id NEVER ask anyone to anything they dont want to do

Hopefully that covers the basics

Hopefully this wasn't to long

If this sounds interesting to you DM me

Im here!!!!

*notabot

50 [M4F] is my girl out there? ONLINE ONLY

Hello everyone

I'm here looking for the one!! I'm looking foe someone consistent someone who will send more than o e or 2 messages an hour someone who may want to stick around past one hour one day on month maybe more I'm looking for someone who is genuine, honest and trustworthy looking for someone i can share inside jokes with tell random things to someone who wants to get to know me for me because I think I'm a pretty good and funny person well thats what I've been told anyway IDK???

Someone who's going to get excited when there notifications go off!!!

About me I'm married been married over 30 years but sexless for 2 and the sex was going down hill for the last 5 years im bald yes not by choice I have brown eyes im 5 10 I work out so im in pretty good shape not perfect but not a dad bod either I like in New England ET I love Disney, sports,movies and sleeping!!!

But maybe this is the part that turns ladies off but I ha e to be honest this is Reddit a d yes im here for the other stuff to Flirting talking dirty leading to sexting and pictures and videos but but all in time and whe. Your comfortable id NEVER ask anyone to anything they dont want to do

Hopefully that covers the basics

Hopefully this wasn't to long

If this sounds interesting to you DM me

Im here!!!!

*notabot

​

50s (Male) Looking for a solid chatting partner

from New England

Married guy in a sexless marriage and ignored

Hello

Looking for a solid chatting partner someone who wants to stick around past 5 messages something more than one day one week or even one month people on Reddit suck! people here are either flakes ghosts you get board with you after awhile and stop returning your messages looking to sell you something or they want to give you or want you to give them nudes after 5 messages!!! I'm not about that !!

I'm not going to lie I'm here for the Same reason 75 to 85% of people are here the SEX!!! yes yes i want all the things i want someone to sext with someone to talk dirty with someone i can tell secrets and Fantasys to i have many someone who i can have inappropriate sexual conversations with but its more than just that i want to get to k ow someone id like someone honest genuine and trustworthy someone who isn't going to hurt me after thwy gwt me involved or get hurt if I dont messages you back in 5 minutes life and things happen i am in a married household or i disagree with something they may have said or a difference of opinion id like someone that I could have inside jokes with someone who i can send a message to in the middle of the night so they see it first thing in the morning someone who is going to get excited or smile when there notifications go off

Just looking to be myself and someone who will except that

Just looking for a solid women to get to know and see where it goes who will give me a chance??

I don't do pictures or videos

Not at first maybe after a little while if we cable build trust you and we make a solid connection

If any of this sounds interesting let me know!!!

Lets talk

Im here!!

\*notabot~

​

50s (Male) Looking for a solid chatting partner

from New England

Married guy in a sexless marriage and Horny

Hello

Looking for a solid chatting partner someone who wants to stick around past 5 messages something more than one day one week or even one month people on Reddit suck! people here are either flakes ghosts you get board with you after awhile and stop returning your messages looking to sell you something or they want to give you or want you to give them nudes after 5 messages!!! I'm not about that !!

I'm not going to lie I'm here for the Same reason 75 to 85% of people are here the SEX yes i want all the things i want someone to sext with someone to talk dirty with someone i can tell secrets and Fantasys to i have many someone who i can have inappropriate sexual conversations with but its more than just that i want to get to k ow someone id like someone honest genuine and trustworthy someone who isn't going to hurt me after thwy gwt me involved or get hurt if I dont messages you back in 5 minutes life and things happen i am in a married household or i disagree with something they may have said or a difference of opinion id like someone that I could have inside jokes with someone who i can send a message to in the middle of the night so they see it first thing in the morning someone who is going to get excited or smile when there notifications go off

Just looking to be myself and someone who will except that

Would live to get to know a Nice woman

Just looking for some adult conversations fun and inappropriate behavior!!!

I don't do pictures or videos

Not at first maybe after a little while if we cable build trust you and we make a solid connection

If any of this sounds interesting let me know!!!

Lets talk

Im here!!

*notabot

Looking for a solid chatting partner

My Situation

So here is my current situation I love to be able to hear any thoughts or advice or just general comments but please be nice

So I'm married been married for over 30 years to an an amazing women she is amazing in every way she literally checks all the boxes except one yup you guessed it in the bedroom!!!! Let me just say she is over 50 we both are and she is on Medications now that kill any sex drive she may have had remaining the menopause didn't kill she has literally desire at all as for me im in good shape im fit I work out i eat right I have regular doctors visits honestly at my age my doctor tells me I literally couldn't be healthier and ill say im hornier than ever as well im so fn Horny im probably more horney now than when i was in my 20s and 30s and we haven't had sex in 2 years!!!

We went from sometimes sex to a little sex to no sex over the last 4 or 5 years!!

I had to make a decision at that point do I leave!?!

Do i leave my Life my family my house everything it took over 30 years to build over Sex!?!?!

I mean yes would i be happy with some slut girlfriend who sucks me off and bends over backwards so I fan fuck her!!!! But is that worth living in a shitty ass apartment having no money and destroying my family!?!? Soooo i took the other road ive decided to stay and just not have sex with my wife!!!

Ha ha I said im bot having sex with my wife doesn't mean I bot having any sex sooooo what did i do I turned to the only thing i could do masterbating!!!!

I stared masterbating more and just enjoying my body and exploring myself literally I had some amazing experiences over the last two years (and if anyone wants to hear them DM me and I can share)

And looking forward to seeing what's ahead i ha e gotten into sex toys some ive never done i having a better time with sex than ive had in many many years when it comes to masterbating you can do it whenever wherever and however you want there is bo getting someone else in the mood you dont have to worry about satisfiing anyone els but yourself you dont have to cuddle with you hand or sex toy believe it or not im happy it is tough sometimes but I het through it this was long enough if anyone wants more details or talk to happy to just DM me other than that

Thoughts???

Comments??

Talk to me????

​

50s (Male) Looking for a solid chatting partner

from New England

Married guy in a sexless marriage and Horny

Hello

Looking for a solid chatting partner someone who wants to stick around past 5 messages looking for more than one day one week or one month people on Reddit suck! people here are either flakes ghosts you get board with you after awhile looking to sell you something or they want to give you or want you to give them nudes after 5 messages!!! I'm not about that !!

I'm not going to lie I'm here for the Same reason 75 to 85% of people are here the SEX yes i want all the things i want someone to sext with someone to talk dirty with someone i can tell secrets and Fantasys to and I have many someone who i can have inappropriate sexual conversations with but its more than just that i want to get to k ow someone id like someone honest genuine and trustworthy someone who isn't going to hurt me after they get me involved or get hurt if I dont messages you back in 5 minutes life and things happen i do have a married and full household or i disagree with something they may have said or a difference of opinion id like someone that I could have inside jokes with someone who i can send a message to in the middle of the night so they see it first thing in the morning someone who is going to get excited or smile when there notifications go off

Someone who i can be myself with

Just looking for some adult conversations fun and inappropriate behavior!!!

I don't do pictures or videos

Not at first maybe after a little while and we build some trust you and make a solid connection

If any of this sounds interesting let me know!!!

Lets talk

Im here!!

*notabot

​

50s (Male) Looking for a solid chatting partner

from New England

Married guy in a sexless marriage and Horny

Hello

Looking for a solid chatting partner someone who wants to stick around past 5 messages something more than one day one week one month people on Reddit suck! people here are either flakes ghost you or get board with you after awhile or looking to sell you something or they want to give you or want you to give them nudes after 5 messages!!! I'm not about that !!

I'm not going to lie I'm here for the Same reason 75 to 85% of people are here the SEX yes i want all the things i want someone to sext with someone to talk dirty with someone i can tell secrets and Fantasys to i ha e alot someone who i can have inappropriate sexual conversations with but its more than just that i want to get to k ow someone id like someone honest genuine and trustworthy someone who isn't going to hurt me after they get me involved or get hurt if I dont messages you back in 5 minutes life and things happen I do have a married household or i disagree with something they may have said or a difference of opinion id like someone that I could have inside jokes with someone who i can send a message to in the middle of the night so they see it first thing in the morning someone who is going to get excited or smile when there notifications go off

Just looking for some adult conversations fun and inappropriate behavior!!!

I don't do pictures or videos

Not at first maybe after a little while if I feel I can trust you and we make a solid connection

If any of this sounds interesting let me know!!!

Lets talk

Im here!!

*notabot

​

50s (Male) Looking for a solid chatting partner

from New England

Married guy in a sexless marriage and Horny

Hello

Looking for a solid chatting partner someone who wants to stick around past 5 messages something more than one day one week one month people on Reddit sucks people here are either flakes ghosts you or gwt bord with you after awhile looking to sell you something or they want to give you or want you to give them nudes after 5 messages!!! I'm not about that !!

I'm not going to lie I'm here for the Same reason 75 to 80% of people are here the SEX yes i want all the things i want someone to sext with someone to talk dirty with someone i can tell secrets and Fantasys to someone who i can have inappropriate sexual conversations with but its more than just that i want to get to k ow someone id like someone honest genuine and trustworthy someone who isn't going to hurt me after thwy gwt me involved or get hurt if I dont messages you back in 5 minutes life and things happen or i disagree with something they may have said or a difference of opinion id like someone that I could have inside jokes with someone who i can send a message to in the middle of the night so they see it first thing in the morning someone who is going to get excited or smile when there notifications go off

Just looking for some adult conversations fun and inappropriate behavior!!!

I don't do pictures or videos

Not at first maybe after a little while if I feel I can trust you and we make a solid connection

If any of this sounds interesting let me know!!!

Lets talk

Im here!!

\*notabot

M50[M4F]

50s (Male) Looking for a solid chatting partner

from New England

Married guy in a sexless marriage and Horny

Hello

Looking for a solid chatting partner someone who wants to stick around past 5 messages something more than one day one week one month people on Reddit sucks people here are either flakes ghosts you or gwt bord with you after awhile looking to sell you something or they want to give you or want you to give them nudes after 5 messages!!! I'm not about that !!

I'm not going to lie I'm here for the Same reason 75 to 80% of people are here the SEX yes i want all the things i want someone to sext with someone to talk dirty with someone i can tell secrets and Fantasys to someone who i can have inappropriate sexual conversations with but its more than just that i want to get to k ow someone id like someone honest genuine and trustworthy someone who isn't going to hurt me after thwy gwt me involved or get hurt if I dont messages you back in 5 minutes life and things happen or i disagree with something they may have said or a difference of opinion id like someone that I could have inside jokes with someone who i can send a message to in the middle of the night so they see it first thing in the morning someone who is going to get excited or smile when there notifications go off

Just looking for some adult conversations fun and inappropriate behavior!!!

I don't do pictures or videos

Not at first maybe after a little while if I feel I can trust you and we make a solid connection

If any of this sounds interesting let me know!!!

Lets talk

Im here!!

*notabot

My Situation

So here is my current situation I love to be able to hear any thoughts or advice or just general comments but please be nice

So I'm married been married for over 30 years to an an amazing women she is amazing in every way she literally checks all the boxes except one yup you guessed it in the bedroom!!!! Let me just say she is over 50 we both are and she is on Medications now that kill any sex drive she may have had remaining the menopause didn't kill she has literally desire at all as for me im in good shape im fit I work out i eat right I have regular doctors visits honestly at my age my doctor tells me I literally couldn't be healthier and ill say im hornier than ever as well im so fn Horny im probably more horney now than when i was in my 20s and 30s and we haven't had sex in 2 years!!!

We went from sometimes sex to a little sex to no sex over the last 4 or 5 years!!

I had to make a decision at that point do I leave!?!

Do i leave my Life my family my house everything it took over 30 years to build over Sex!?!?!

I mean yes would i be happy with some slut girlfriend who sucks me off and bends over backwards so I fan fuck her!!!! But is that worth living in a shitty ass apartment having no money and destroying my family!?!? Soooo i took the other road ive decided to stay and just not have sex with my wife!!!

Ha ha I said im bot having sex with my wife doesn't mean I bot having any sex sooooo what did i do I turned to the only thing i could do masterbating!!!!

I stared masterbating more and just enjoying my body and exploring myself literally I had some amazing experiences over the last two years (and if anyone wants to hear them DM me and I can share)

And looking forward to seeing what's ahead i ha e gotten into sex toys some ive never done i having a better time with sex than ive had in many many years when it comes to masterbating you can do it whenever wherever and however you want there is bo getting someone else in the mood you dont have to worry about satisfiing anyone els but yourself you dont have to cuddle with you hand or sex toy believe it or not im happy it is tough sometimes but I het through it this was long enough if anyone wants more details or talk to happy to just DM me other than that

Thoughts???

Comments??

Talk to me????

​

50s (Male) Looking for a solid chatting partner

from New England

Married guy in a sexless marriage and Horny

Hello

Looking for a solid chatting partner someone who wants to stick around past 5 messages maybe even more than a day a week a month people herr on Reddit suck!!!! people here are either fake theyvlose intrest or ghost you or there looking to sell you something or give you or want you to give nudes after 5 messages!!! I'm not about all that !!

I'm not going to lie i here on Reddit for pretty much the same reason 75 to 85% of the people are here for the sex so yes i want all the things that come along with that sexting talking dirty telling secrets and Fantasys hacing inappropriate sexual conversations but with that I'd also like to get to know someone who is honest genuine and trustworthy someone who isn't going to hurt me in the end or get hurt if I dont messages you back in 5 minutes or disagree with something they may have said or have a difference of opinion looking for some to send messages to in the middle of the night so they see them first thing in the morning or tell them I'm thinking about them when were not talking I want some to get excited when there notifications go off

I'm looking for someone who can match me and vibe with me

Just looking for some adult conversations fun and inappropriate behavior!!!

I don't do pictures or videos

Not at first maybe after a little while if we make a solid connection and vibe

If any of this sounds interesting let me know!!!

Lets talk

Im here!!

*notabot