21 [M4F] #Online A real connection! (The text is long, and I'm a needy person. I think it's good to warn you so that no one feels like I "stole" their time.)
I don't know exactly what kind of dynamic I'm looking for; right now I just want to get to know someone.
First of all, I swear I'm an interesting person to talk to, I reply promptly, sometimes I send very long messages, and I'm someone who shows a lot of interest in conversations. Even if the rest doesn't interest you, can we at least talk? Is that okay? Anyway, let's go:
Honestly, I'm a boring, depressed person with poor social skills. I don't find happiness in almost anything, only in being useful. I want to be useful, I want to feel useful, to feel validated. I need attention, and I'm an idiot for writing this thinking someone will read all this crap and be interested. This is almost a rant, haha.
before I dive in headfirst, I want us to be able to talk so I can create a sense of security or comfort for you. Or else, I hope you'll actually blackmail me, start dominating me without me even realizing it, and then when I do realize it, there will be no going back. There's some information about me, along with some photos, on my profile. But I'm a solitary and talkative person, ask me anything, I'll answer almost everything.
Ideally, the person I'm looking for would be:
- Someone with toxic, controlling, perhaps manipulative traits.
- Someone willing to talk about various subjects, and who isn't too lazy to respond.
- Someone willing to, if we get along well, take this more seriously.
- Someone who doesn't mind my displays of affection.
"People no longer have time to get to know anything. They buy everything ready-made in stores. But since there are no stores that sell friends, people no longer have friends. If you want a friend, tame me." - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
(Yes, I want to be your slave, object, bitch, anything you desire that diminishes me to a position inferior to yours. We don't need to be friends for this, but I would love it if we were.)
Now about me:
Well, I'll warn you upfront that I'm terrible at talking about myself, so finding that strange is normal. It's simply my inability to express myself properly.
- I don't want pity or mercy. I don't have rigid limits, only flexible ones, but I ask that more extreme fetishes like feminization in public be introduced more slowly so I can get used to it (optional). Anyone who wants to know more about my fetishes, ask me privately.
- I'm quite nerdy, and I enjoy various academic subjects.
- I am autistic, but it's a low degree and I received the diagnosis late, it doesn't influence anything. But if you want, you can use that against me at some point.
- Sometimes I may withdraw because I isolate myself, I do this to regulate myself sometimes. Don't let me do that, try to have me around.
- I have depression, I take medication and I'm seeking help, but I'm sinking deeper and deeper. I don't feel like eating, going out, nothing. I feel incredibly alone. I just wanted someone to like me, to find me useful, to miss me if I disappeared. So, I want to create bonds with you, not just be a slave, although I will be that too. Bully me, humiliate me, degrade me, make me feel like my purpose in life is to make you happy, maybe then I'll feel like I have a purpose.
- I'm insecure, needy, and clingy. If I like you and feel like you're going to abandon me, I'll be desperate. Just tell me to shut up and calm down, that would help.
- I have my problems, and I don't want a psychologist. I want someone who at most understands them, but if necessary uses them against me, and is there for me.
If you enjoy philosophy and politics, these are the main topics I like to discuss:
- Nietzsche
- Bauman
- Schopenhauer
- Sartre
- Simone de Beauvoir
- Descartes
- Marx
- John Locke
- Cuban guerrillas
- Latin American guerrillas
- Chinese, Russian and Vietnamese revolutions
- Physics, thermodynamics, string theory, general relativity, etc.
- I've been working a bit on a thesis of mine about some things that Marx and Nietzsche say, and I believe they complement each other; I can talk more about that later.
- Attack on Titan and its ethical and moral complexities, as well as its idea of freedom.
- Fullmetal Alchemist and its physical and chemical applications and differences from reality.
My main Kinks
- Dacryphilia
- Bondage
- Impact play
- Anal
- Deepthroat
- Training
- Degradation/humiliation/dehumanization
- Micromanagement
- Demonstration of affection
- Bully
If you're interested, send me a DM with your name, age, gender, country where you live, what interested you in this, and things like that. Feel free to ask me anything you want. Honestly, I don't care at all about appearance or age, I just want to feel less alone.
If you don't have photos on your profile, and you're not willing to show any, don't expect me to trust you so quickly; To me, you're still just a person like a hundred thousand other people; I don't need you, and you, in turn, don't need me either. But if you tame me, we will need each other, you will be unique in the world for me, and I will be unique in the world for you, and forever yours, with no way to escape. I will be trapped by my own will to remain with you (and probably by blackmail, and some other constraints).
I know it seems like a lot, but it's worth it. I hope you understand that I still have a life, and that I will strive to be available as much as possible, but that I won't always be able to. I swear I'm worth it.
Me: myself, just me
There are more photos of me on my profile.