r/Metoidioplasty

the closer it gets to my surgery the less excited i feel. i know that i want this surgery. i know that my life will be better after this surgery. i know that i absolutely cannot deal with having the body i have right now forever. and i used to be excited! for so long i was looking forward to meta and thinking about what things would be like after i was healed but its like now that my surgery is getting closer all i can think about is the fear.

every time i think about meta i can just feel this like. Despair settle over me. i want what this surgery can give me but i Dont Want This Surgery. im scared of the pain, im scared of not healing right, im scared of what my results will look like, im scared of ruining the things i already like about my dick, im scared of needing help with things that i want to be private. ive had surgery before and its always been so easy, even when other people said it wouldnt be, so i want to tell myself that thisll be easy too! but i know itll be different.

other people talk about being in pain for weeks like its something you just endure and it sucks but its fine, but ive never been in pain like that. i dont know how to deal with that. i dont know if i Can deal with that.

i keep trying to tell myself that no matter how badly i heal or how much i hate my results, it'll be better than having a Hole in me that isnt supposed to be there. and i really believe thats true. but for some reason it just isnt making me feel better anymore.

and whats worse is that all of the fear of surgery is mixed up with some of the worst genital dysphoria ive ever felt. i thought leading up to surgery my dysphoria would get better--thats what it was like for top surgery! but instead its so much worse. i think about it all the time and instead of focusing on the fact that itll be over soon all i can focus on is how much i hate it and how gross i feel. my sex drive is like gone, i just cant make myself enjoy anything that involves my body anymore. things that i used to feel mostly good about have become uncomfortable. things that i used to feel a little weird about have become intolerable.

its like theres no way to think about it thats positive. the wait is too short, because im terrified, but the wait is also too long, because im miserable. i need it to just be over with already so i can stop worrying about all of it, but theres no way to make that happen. i have to just sit and wait with the terror and the misery until my surgery. and then ill have to just sit and wait with the pain and the worry until i'm healed. and any happiness that might come after feels so far away that i cant even look forward to it because all the bad stuff is standing in the way.

So I am a way off of getting metoidioplasty but I was wondering. My dick is pretty untethered and mobile, there is about 6cm between my urethra meatus and the tip of my glans (when stretched). I know that often for ul, the surgeon has to cut the urethral plate and add extra material (buccal/labial/vaginal) so your urethra is extended and your dick can be "tubularized". But if you already have a long urethral plate, is this still necessary? Or can they make less cuts/modifications of the area and therefore have a much easier recovery?

Also, if anyone has reccomendations or links to videos showing the process of surgery (as in surgery actually being performed) that would be really helpful. I am trying to learn as much as possible for in the future, and also cause I find it really interesting. Thanks

pre-op, asking out of curiosity and i guess for reference later--how do you position a catheter in underwear so that it isn't uncomfortable/pulling on anything? ive tried to imagine it but i just cant picture any way to make it work short of literally cutting a hole in the underwear, which surely most people arent doing?? are they way more flexible than i think and its just easy to bend it however?

my urethral opening is going to end up between my penis and scrotum and im just like.. the tube has to go some direction after it comes out of my body.... where could it possibly go......

hi all! i have an upcoming mons resection in about a week (might have to b rescheduled) and wanted to do an excision of the “outer” skin after having already got simple meta. i’m scheduled for a mons resection and not a monsplasty? theyre saying an excision of the outer parts is not included in a mons resection, i thought there was a difference between a mons resection and a monsplasty?

i'm going to be getting a hysto, wondering if it would be possible to get vnectomy and then later meta with uL, or if i need to wait to have vnectomy until meta for any reason?

i tried searching through to find the answer, but i didn't see anything, please link another post if you know of one.

I'm being discharged from the hospital and the doctor told me to shave for 2 weeks so the hairs won't irritate my skin. But I already have 2 weeks of hair growth, won't shaving just irritate it further?

Did any of you keep shaving after surgery? Do you regret it?

I knew I wanted surgery by 16, I just didn't know what yet. I dove into research, planning, dreaming.

At 25, I am 5 years post top, 4 days from hysto/ooph, 5 months from pannulectomy consult, & 2 meta consults deep. I would guess I am a year to year & half from meta.

I decided long ago that I couldn't handle the constraints of phallo- Medicaid, a dwindling savings account, a condition that makes healing hard, an intolerance to discomfort, it adds up.

Meta is no cakewalk either, but it always seemed more manageable/feasible for me.

I know there's always the far off pipe-dream of getting phallo done later, but I don't foresee that.

I have tried very hard to find a rational excuse to make peace with this- "I'm a bottom/nonbinary anyway..." or "I will enjoy maintaining sensation..." Or I try to talk myself out of it all together because I fear I will be unhappy.

It can be heartbreaking to look at wonderful phallo/meta results or a beautiful cis penis.

To add insult, I have tiny bottom growth & it's buried. My first consult even said I was too small for her to UL.

I do hope when I finally get my meta I will be able to be happy with it or at least tolerate it like I did for my disappointing top surgery.

My surgeon even asked me what was important. I told him I could tolerate anything at this point. It will be better than the alternative, but not what I dream of.

I am about a week out surgery, and I got everything. The meta, the balls, the UL, got rid of the extra hole, ya know, the works

I figured since everything kinda hurts right now, it would be a turn off. But hormones go wild man. But I don't wanna risk any complications. What do I do?

hi!

I just wanted to post that I’m 2 days post op from getting a Metoidioplasty, hysterectomy, vaginectomy, and a scrotoplasty all done in one surgery at Mayo Clinic, which took about 9 hours but I’m back home now and settled!

So far I’m very much loving the results of what they did, and the care I received . everyone was so kind and supportive at Mayo, my team was fantastic and everyone along the way was super kind and gender affirming.

I was a bit hesitant about getting this surgery done at Mayo because I just didn’t see any results from anyone else but they did a great job with everything.

if everyone has any questions I would love to help, still super groggy but just very happy with the care I got.

I primarily get off through grinding and putting a lot of pressure on my dick pre op. Have any of you required this to get off pre op and either were still able to lay on your stomach and grind post op or are able to get off another way post op? I plan on having balls and don’t want to crush them.