u/Vegetable_Buy_7560

There are few sober moments in life that radically change a person’s outlook on themselves, specifically in the way taking psychedelics might. One of them, I believe, is getting cuckolded for the first time. One way or another, the neurons inside your head are about to be rearranged.

Like taking a serious psychedelic, the results aren’t guaranteed. When a man is subjected to that indignity and it’s not in his nature to find a perverse pleasure in it, then the event becomes naturally traumatic, even in retrospect. Plenty of men have pressured their accommodating wives into this lifestyle, only to find their masculinity and self-worth the victim of it.

As a Bull, I view introducing new couples to this lifestyle a little like how I view handing someone a psychedelic that they’ve never tried before. I know they’re probably going to have a good time, but on the rare chance that something complicates the night, I know I have to assume some responsibility. It’s my job to at least create the safe environment that would be conducive to a “good trip”. In this sense, there’s almost something shamanistic about being a good Bull. You can’t just dispense the drug, you have to dose it carefully based on the couple’s tolerance.

*(Yes, my cock is the drug.)*

Sometimes, this sense of responsibility compels me to alert the cuck before I know a point of no return is crossed. I’ve bent wives over my knee and fingered them while telling their husbands to consider what happens next very carefully. As they watched my finger-tips gradually start to glisten, I let them think real hard about this choice. Once my cock is inside her, the nature of their relationship will change forever. Now’s the last chance to get cold feet.

I’ve felt it necessary to remind them that the image of their wife on her knees is going to pop into their head sometimes when they kiss her on the lips, and that’ll never go away. That’s a stain they’ll just have to live with. Before I do that, I want the cuck to look me in my eyes and tell me that he understands what kind of man he is, and what kind of man I am. I want to know he’s ready to face this truth and not back done from it.

The final test comes at the end, though. When the sex is over, and the wife is laying there spent and exhausted, with my cum slowly drying on her face. The first time a woman indulges this fantasy, I don’t think it’s uncommon for her to suddenly feel a wave of dread when it’s all over. A worry that they’ll become somehow perceived as tainted, or a fear that they’ve committed a real act of betrayal, or just a concern that they’ve jeopardized their relationship. While I’m fishing around the room for my clothes and getting dressed, I want to see the cuck reassure his wife that she has nothing to feel guilty about.

I’d tell him to make out with her, like he did the first night he realized that she loved him back. Show her that he’ll still worship her, even while her face is glazed with warm cum. I don’t care if the cuck has already decided that this will be a onetime thing that will never be repeated. Loving her in this moment is his responsibility.

And then, probably after putting my jeans on, I’d tell the husband to start eating his wife out. Let her lay there, catching her breath, while he reminds her that she’s his everything. By the time I put my shoes on and was ready to leave, I’d want her to know that her husband isn’t the kind of beta cuck who’s going to take his insecurities out on her later. I’ll make him show her that he accepts the reality he’s just been shown, even if it means having to ignore the taste of my load. When I close the bedroom door and leave, I want to know that everyone learnt what they needed to from this trip.

There are few sober moments in life that radically change a person’s outlook on themselves, specifically in the way taking psychedelics might. One of them, I believe, is getting cuckolded for the first time. One way or another, the neurons inside your head are about to be rearranged.

Like taking a serious psychedelic, the results aren’t guaranteed. When a man is subjected to that indignity and it’s not in his nature to find a perverse pleasure in it, then the event becomes naturally traumatic, even in retrospect. Plenty of men have pressured their accommodating wives into this lifestyle, only to find their masculinity and self-worth the victim of it.

As a Bull, I view introducing new couples to this lifestyle a little like how I view handing someone a psychedelic that they’ve never tried before. I know they’re probably going to have a good time, but on the rare chance that something complicates the night, I know I have to assume some responsibility. It’s my job to at least create the safe environment that would be conducive to a “good trip”. In this sense, there’s almost something shamanistic about being a good Bull. You can’t just dispense the drug, you have to dose it carefully based on the couple’s tolerance.

(Yes, my cock is the drug.)

Sometimes, this sense of responsibility compels me to alert the cuck before I know a point of no return is crossed. I’ve bent wives over my knee and fingered them while telling their husbands to consider what happens next very carefully. As they watched my finger-tips gradually start to glisten, I let them think real hard about this choice. Once my cock is inside her, the nature of their relationship will change forever. Now’s the last chance to get cold feet.

I’ve felt it necessary to remind them that the image of their wife on her knees is going to pop into their head sometimes when they kiss her on the lips, and that’ll never go away. That’s a stain they’ll just have to live with. Before I do that, I want the cuck to look me in my eyes and tell me that he understands what kind of man he is, and what kind of man I am. I want to know he’s ready to face this truth and not back done from it.

The final test comes at the end, though. When the sex is over, and the wife is laying there spent and exhausted, with my cum slowly drying on her face. The first time a woman indulges this fantasy, I don’t think it’s uncommon for her to suddenly feel a wave of dread when it’s all over. A worry that they’ll become somehow perceived as tainted, or a fear that they’ve committed a real act of betrayal, or just a concern that they’ve jeopardized their relationship. While I’m fishing around the room for my clothes and getting dressed, I want to see the cuck reassure his wife that she has nothing to feel guilty about.

I’d tell him to make out with her, like he did the first night he realized that she loved him back. Show her that he’ll still worship her, even while her face is glazed with warm cum. I don’t care if the cuck has already decided that this will be a onetime thing that will never be repeated. Loving her in this moment is his responsibility.

And then, probably after putting my jeans on, I’d tell the husband to start eating his wife out. Let her lay there, catching her breath, while he reminds her that she’s his everything. By the time I put my shoes on and was ready to leave, I’d want her to know that her husband isn’t the kind of beta cuck who’s going to take his insecurities out on her later. I’ll make him show her that he accepts the reality he’s just been shown, even if it means having to ignore the taste of my load. When I close the bedroom door and leave, I want to know that everyone learnt what they needed to from this trip.

This was originally written for my FetLife account, which should be obvious, but I wanted to post it to Reddit too. I apologize for any funkiness that resulted from cutting-and-pasting.

I’m partly sharing it here because of the lengths I go to expressing my own “Bull psychology”.

INTRODUCTION

I know the length of this post will seem absurd and unnecessary to most who’ve dared to click on it, but given the delicate nature of this kink and how nuanced the lifestyle can be, I figured I ought to be thorough about my proposal. But before we delve into all that, let me introduce myself, so you have some idea of who’s on the other side of your screen right now.

I’m 33 years old. Six-foot-one, with an athletic build. I have dirty blond hair, handsome features and blue/green eyes. An ex once told me that I looked like a mix of Robert Pattinson and Elijah Wood, and every other girl I’ve mentioned that to since has nodded her head and said “yeah, that sounds about right”. I’m decently hung, about seven inches. (Friends-only pics are available on my profile.)

I became a Dom (who moonlights as a Bull) in my late teens, early twenties. Since then, this aspect of my personality has been continually cultivated and refined by experience. At this point in my life, my dominant-side has become fully incorporated into who I really am, and no longer feels like a performance, or like a mask that can simply be taken off. It’s just, me.

Over the past decade-plus spent here on FetLife, I’ve posted versions of this ad dozens of times, always offering to provide an inexperienced couple with “a thorough education”. I’ve had plenty of successful encounters, but perhaps just as importantly, these ads lead me to having exponentially more conversations with nervous couples.

Even when they ultimately got cold feet — which happened fairly frequently, as you can imagine — spending my time talking to these couples about their fantasy began to feel like I was conducting research. That was my education in the psychology of cuckolding, I suppose. I’d like to think this exposure has given me strong intuitions when it comes to navigating the anxieties that many new couples bring to the table, as well as a power to articulate the nuances of their fantasies.

After a certain point, those ads I was posting devolved into a Frankenstein monstrosity of cut-and-pasted text, until the end result read a little like it was written by a delirious AI. I figured, maybe it was about time that I rewrote my proposition from scratch — y’know, now that I’m not in my twenties anymore. Hopefully, I’ve learned a couple things since then.

This… “Revised & Updated edition” of my ad is probably going to end up a sprawling wall-of-text. So be it. My intention is to write something that a couple could read together in bed, engrossed in the same way they might be if they were sharing a piece of erotica that resonated with them. So, settle in. Like with all stages of this process, let’s take it slow and savour it.

In the past, when writing these ads, I never managed to adequately articulate what my attraction to this kink was. Maybe that lack of self-awareness has been a blind-spot for me. Let’s start there, then.

PART ONE: LIKE A VIRGIN

I’ve never had that much interest in couples who’ve already established a comfortability with this taboo; or at least, with couples who’re already active in the lifestyle. I’ll admit, I find the prospect boring. No matter how attractive the wife may be, the notion of fucking her in-front of an audience that’s merely bemused by the sight of her with another man sounds painfully awkward to me. There may be exceptions, of course; but I’ve come to understand myself enough to know that it’s — at least in part — the taboo of “violating” a pre-existing relationship that motivates me.

I want the first time my cock dangles in-front of her face to empty the room of oxygen. Without that element of palpable transgression, this kink doesn’t offer me much that regular sex couldn’t. For this reason, I avoid so-called Stags/Vixens, or any other couple who feels overtly “empowered” by this kink. Nothing against that particular demographic, but it doesn’t excite me personally. Removing the shame from a kink rarely makes it more liberating, I’m afraid.

This is why I’ve always gravitated strongly towards couples with little or no prior experience with cuckolding (beyond whatever fantasies they’ve shared with each other, of course). There’s something about being the first person to penetrate the intimate bubble of a married or committed relationship that’s particularly satisfying as a Bull. Even the seemingly trivial stages of modern courtship become intensified under these heightened circumstances (like sexting for the first time before bed, knowing there’s a curious third-party potentially rubber-necking our conversation).

When the dynamic works, it can feel like consensual infidelity, with all the electricity of risky sex and none of the danger. I want the wife to feel like she’s lost in the thralls of a powerful, all-consuming affair. This discovery should feel destabilizing for the couple in a way that’s intoxicating, like discovering drugs for the first time in your teens.
Dabbling with psychedelic drugs for the first time is probably an apt metaphor, especially for any couple who’ve been monogamous for a long time. I’ve seen the dizzy, delirious look in their eyes the first time I unpack my cock and all of this suddenly becomes real.

PART TWO: THE MIND-FUCK

Now would probably be a fine opportunity to talk about the emotional risk that’s inherent to cuckolding and how I mitigate it, since I won’t be shy later on about describing how intense exploring this territory for the first time can be.
One of the qualities that makes me a uniquely qualified Bull — in my own estimations, anyway — is my emotional awareness. Aside from being able to read the room, I’m good at being able to detect the often subtle difference between the fantasy and genuine discomfort. That line gets blurry sometimes, but I’ve been successful at navigating it in the past.

And the times that I haven’t been so successful, well, I think I did a good job of smoothing over hurt feelings after the fact. When dealing with such a volatile kink, these things happen; I take them in stride and I never escalate the situation. As long as no one involved has malicious intentions, “messy” is the worst it can ever get, and a little mess is a part of life.

But cuckolding is certainly a mind-fuck, above all else. That’s why I think it’s important to have a good understanding of what makes someone tick, before you go fucking with their head — and potentially, with their relationship too. That’s why I opt to take things slow to begin with. Once I have that foundation of familiarity established, I’ve found that I’m able to explore more intense fantasies or scenarios, without fearing as much about any undue regret or unpleasantness for the couple. Without that familiarity or understanding, the likelihood of me saying or doing something that genuinely upsets someone or crosses a line increases, simply because of the delicate nature of this kink. And besides, sometimes it’s best to approach this kink the same way you’d boil a proverbial frog: bit-by-bit, so no one gets freaked out.

PART THREE: PROVIDER-TYPE-BULL

When talking with couples who are curious about this lifestyle, I’ve often been asked some variation of the question: why do you do this? Like my motives are somehow impenetrable and utterly shrouded in mystery. They ask: what do you get out of it? The answer is probably obvious: “I want my ego stroked while I enjoy pussy that doesn’t belong to me”. But of course, that’s only part of the truth, or this post would be a lot shorter.

I get a rush out of applying my dominant-streak to an entire marriage, that’s a given; but, besides being able to indulge in an extreme power-dynamic that feels oddly natural to me, I also enjoy the responsibility that being a Bull puts on me. I like knowing that a couple’s sex-life hinges on me continuing to deliver, making sure each encounter is memorable in a way that keeps them on their toes. And I like being the instigator of new experiences, the reason fantasies are fulfilled. Largely, I view my role as a Bull as being the engine that powers a couple’s self-discovery.

PART FOUR: A POT BOILING OVER

Often times, my attraction to cuckolding overlaps with my attraction to women who’ve been sexually neglected and/or frustrated. I know it sounds strange to admit this, but there you go. There’s just something about a woman whose needs have been boiling over, like a pot someone forgot was left on the stove. That type of repressed yearning for sexual connection always seems to make a woman stand out to me. I guess I’m just a sucker for a housewife with an itch that no one’s scratched.

When I meet these women, I find what they crave the most is a man who isn’t passive about his approach to sex. A man whose domination might allow her to flourish sexually, a man who can make her feel alive, drunk on her own feelings. Earlier, I wrote that I “aim to make the wife feel like she’s lost in the thralls of a powerful, all-consuming affair”. That prospect appeals the most to the women I’m describing. They would never cheat on their husband or significant other, but they still yearn for another man, even in the abstract, faceless sense. To these women, I’m often seen as the remedy to the proverbial Seven Year Itch, perhaps even as a substitute for a regrettable affair. Whether it’s because her husband is unable or unwilling to satisfy her, either way, she’s reached that boiling point and she needs me.

It’s not merely the idea of getting strange cock that makes them feel like a woman in the desert, dying of thirst, finally being offered a glass of cold water, it’s everything else that comes along with it:

Having an excuse to dress up, being able to look in the mirror and see herself through a pair of eyes that excites her. Being able to restore the power her sexuality once seemed to have, before being nullified by the ordinary and predictable. Going out on dates, getting to experience the sensation of feeling butterflies in her stomach again. Getting fingered while waiting for our Uber after dinner, wondering when the last time she felt this dangerous was.
There’s another common “Hotwife” archetype that I’ve encountered, who doesn’t crave an outlet for intimacy and belated self-discovery, so much as she gets-off on witnessing and participating in her husband’s emasculation. I’ll talk about this desire later on, but for now, I just wanted to acknowledge it.

PART FIVE: FIRST BABY STEPS

Before meeting for the first time, I like to chat with both parties separately, so I can gauge their expectations and alleviate any individual concerns they may have. The only exception I have to this would be if the husband wished to have no presence during our encounters (besides potentially having a pic sent to their phone afterward, or awkwardly waving when he picks his wife up outside my place). If that’s going to be the extent of their participation, then I don’t need any contact with the other party; he can just be a ring on her finger to me and I’ll just be the smell of cock on her breath to him. But if all parties wish to be present, then I prefer to have some prior connection before meeting.

Especially when the couple is anxious about taking the first step, this chatting phase has me functioning as a sort-of middle-man, almost like a perverse type of couple’s therapist. This initial back-and-forth has been a good means for me to establish a healthy sense of authority early on, which proves helpful later, if we do decide to meet. Serves as groundwork, I suppose; by the time we meet, it’ll already feel natural addressing me as your Bull.

This approach also gives both the wife and her cuck a separate safe place to express themselves. That part is often important for the would-be cuck, because they may have boundaries or insecurities that they don’t want to voice in-front of their wife. I’m an asshole — I mean, that’s why I’ve made a hobby out of fucking other men’s wives, let’s be honest — but still, I like to be as sensitive as I can about these things.

PART SIX: A BEDROOM BULLY

That was true, by the way; I mean the part about me being “an asshole”. If I’m given permission, I can be a world-class bully. I’ll insult a man to his face and let him listen to the love of his life giggle along with her mouth full of cock. I’m not shy about emasculating other men, so long as it’s been asked of me first.

A lot of married women are attracted to the taboo nature of male hierarchy. They enjoy seeing their husbands put in their place and they get off on being the prop used to do it. And a lot of married men fantasize about seeing their wife fucked in a way that renders them sexually obsolete. Often, these two seem to end up married, and it’s a combination that allows the bully in me to thrive.

That aspect of cuckolding — the emasculation factor, I guess we could call it — is not necessary for this dynamic to interest me, but humiliation is something that I’ve developed a talent for. I’m good at constructing artful scenarios to make a point of someone’s embarrassment or sexual inferiority.

This “talent” of mine manifests in different ways, depending entirely on the disposition of the couple in question. In this sense, my domination is as much a reflection of the couple receiving it as it is of me. Or, maybe it’s a little like that Carl Jung quote:

“The meeting of two three personalities is like the contact of two three chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both all are transformed.”

All this is to say, when a couple is inviting of that side of me, I’m happy to oblige them; but it’s very much an opt-in kinda thing.

But, sure. If a wife asked me to stop by while her husband was working, I would probably let him know I was there by leaving behind cum stains on his side of the bed. I’m not above rubbing salt in that wound, just for the sake of it. Because at the end of the day, I know the indignity of sleeping in that bed afterward will probably do more to electrify their sex-life than buying another vibrator or dildo ever could. For some men, receiving a handjob from their wife while they listen to her sheepishly recount her night with me, that’d be more satisfying than whatever sex they were having before we’d met.

I’m not bisexual in any tangible, actionable sense of the word, even though I am more than capable of getting off on the power dynamics that arise from cuckolding another man. That said, I’m also not particularly self-conscience about myself or my sexuality. I’m comfortable enough letting another man stare at my cock with the same transfixed expression that his wife is, I don’t really care. In that sense, I’m able to embrace the quasi-bisexuality that cuckolding implies. Receiving a thank you text for an amazing night along with a picture of her husband cleaning up after me.

Still, I have very little interest in traditional MFM threesomes. I’m not the kind of guy you share a woman with. If that were to happen, it would be with a couple that I had been cuckolding for a significant amount of time, and even then, there would likely be stipulations or a lot of alcohol involved. Most of the time, cucks are regulated to being audience members.

If a couple desired that I indulged in that “emasculation factor” to the extreme, I would be willing to order a cuck to clean-up after me, or other actions that blurred that line, even though it’s not something that I’ve really done in the past. If the dynamic we forged called for it though, I wouldn’t be reluctant to escalate things that far. As I’ve already said, I enjoy being a bully, so yeah, I’ll watch another man’s horrified reaction the first time he tastes my cum dribbling out of his wife’s cunt. I’d probably do a lot worse, if the right couple allowed me to push their boundaries far enough.

PART SEVEN: BEHIND THE CURTAIN

Before I wrap this up, I want to share a little more about myself, mostly for the benefit of the hypothetical wife reading this post.

I live alone; it’s just me, myself and a cat. I rent a cozy penthouse in a quiet neighbourhood somewhere near Oakridge. (This does mean I’m able to host; but still, if a hotel-room would be more conducive to the vibe, I’m happy to make those arrangements for us. I’m reluctant to invite cucks I haven’t met before over to my apartment, I’ll be honest; but their wife is more than welcome to stay the night.)

There’s one reason why you might prefer my place, though. In my bedroom, there’s a large IKEA locker, crowned with houseplants. Inside it, you’ll find a considerable BDSM collection, hanging in ordered rows from hooks, like how I imagine John Wick’s arsenal is displayed. (I don’t know if John Wick really stores his guns that way, because I haven’t seen the film, but that’s the image I want you to imagine; that, except, y’know, the BDSM version).

I do love film, but instead of finally watching John Wick, these days, I’m more likely to watch some sleazy Italian film from the 70’s, the kind that are about a nun who gets whipped as punishment for their sexual fantasies, or a cheating housewife consumed by her own infidelity, or something elegantly tasteless like that. If there’s a rainy weekday afternoon that I need to kill, you’ll probably find me hiding away at the theatre, watching some old Ingmar Bergman movie.

“Elegantly tasteless” might also be a good description of my decor, too. Looking around my apartment, it wouldn’t be difficult to deduce that I had many eclectic interests. Just by glancing over the spines poking out of my overstuffed bookcases, you’d be able to figure out a lot about what preoccupies me. From dozens of books on philosophy, to a small occult library with grimoires printed in the 1800’s, to a collection of 1950’s pulp-fiction. I’m a weird person, and my living-space makes no attempt to downplay that.

I read a lot, but I write more. Writing has always been a compulsion for me, be it fiction, non-fiction, screenplays, excessively long FetLife posts, whatever. In the past, I’ve used this compulsion to write personalized erotica for couples, letting them use my creativity as a vehicle to explore their fantasies. This can sometimes be a detached way for them to explore various dynamics with me, sampling each through fiction, seeing what excites them the most. I’m sure reading these stories in bed together isn’t terrible foreplay for them, either.

But, that’s been plenty about me. Next, let’s talk about some of the specifics behind my proposal, then I’ll conclude this epic by telling you what to do if you’re curious about taking me up on it.

PART EIGHT: THE PROPOSAL

When it comes to finding a couple, I’m flexible about their ages. From early 20’s upward, all ages are welcome. If there were an ideal couple for me, they would be married, in their middle 40’s. But for me, it matters more that they have a stable, committed relationship. And beyond that, I’m far more interested in how unique our chemistry might be.

I’ve never cucked a couple that was significantly younger than me, but I will admit, there’s a perverse appeal to the idea of it. It’d probably be the one scenario that would bring out the Big Brother type of Bull in me. Teaching a middle-aged man how to fuck his woman is a fool’s errand, but I’d be more likely to take that mentor-like approach with a younger cuck.

I’m looking for a couple who are interested in the potential of pursuing a long-term arrangement, but I’m also willing to talk about one-off encounters. Who knows, sometimes you fuck around and you find out, and what was meant to be a one-night experiment turns into writing me a Christmas card thanking me for a year of blowing her back out. I’m happy to let things develop organically, without expectations. Life is more interesting when you’re willing to see where it takes you. If nothing else, I’m an excuse for couples to realize their marriage doesn’t have to be boring.

I like the idea of spoiling a couple. If it’s their anniversary, I’d offer to take them out to dinner, treat them, just to spend the rest of the night fucking the wife like I was the one celebrating putting a ring on her finger. (It honestly wouldn’t be the first time a man has thanked me for flipping the bill while his wife expressed her gratitude on her knees.) I’m the kind of Bull who’d surprise a wife with a new set of lingerie to wear, just because the novelty of fucking her in the lingerie she’d worn on her honeymoon had faded. I’d even take a couple on a weekend trip with me, just to take advantage of our connecting-rooms in the middle of the night. A reason why I prefer the prospect of a long-term relationship with a couple is because I think it would enable me to indulge in these kinds of scenarios much easier, especially something like taking a couple with me on vacation.

PART NINE: WHAT NOW?

If any of the unhinged ramblings above resonated with you, the next step is as simple as sending me a DM.

From my experience, most couples who are new to this kink are awfully shy, and that’s okay. If you’re not sure what to say, you can just say hello. Let me know your ages, how long you’ve been together and that you’re curious about the potential of having a Bull, then I’ll take it from there.

If you’re less shy, feel free to tell me more about yourselves and what kind of fantasies have lead you here. If you want a prompt, you can tell me which part of this post stuck out to you the most and why.

Regardless, I’m looking forward to hearing from you. Don’t be scared, sending a DM could be the best decision you’ve made in a long time. Life doesn’t have to be boring.

This was originally written for my FetLife account, which should be obvious, but I wanted to post it to Reddit too. I apologize for any funkiness that resulted from cutting-and-pasting.

INTRODUCTION

I know the length of this post will seem absurd and unnecessary to most who’ve dared to click on it, but given the delicate nature of this kink and how nuanced the lifestyle can be, I figured I ought to be thorough about my proposal. But before we delve into all that, let me introduce myself, so you have some idea of who’s on the other side of your screen right now.

I’m 33 years old. Six-foot-one, with an athletic build. I have dirty blond hair, handsome features and blue/green eyes. An ex once told me that I looked like a mix of Robert Pattinson and Elijah Wood, and every other girl I’ve mentioned that to since has nodded her head and said “yeah, that sounds about right”. I’m decently hung, about seven inches. (Friends-only pics are available on my profile.)

I became a Dom (who moonlights as a Bull) in my late teens, early twenties. Since then, this aspect of my personality has been continually cultivated and refined by experience. At this point in my life, my dominant-side has become fully incorporated into who I really am, and no longer feels like a performance, or like a mask that can simply be taken off. It’s just, me.

Over the past decade-plus spent here on FetLife, I’ve posted versions of this ad dozens of times, always offering to provide an inexperienced couple with “a thorough education”. I’ve had plenty of successful encounters, but perhaps just as importantly, these ads lead me to having exponentially more conversations with nervous couples.

Even when they ultimately got cold feet — which happened fairly frequently, as you can imagine — spending my time talking to these couples about their fantasy began to feel like I was conducting research. That was my education in the psychology of cuckolding, I suppose. I’d like to think this exposure has given me strong intuitions when it comes to navigating the anxieties that many new couples bring to the table, as well as a power to articulate the nuances of their fantasies.

After a certain point, those ads I was posting devolved into a Frankenstein monstrosity of cut-and-pasted text, until the end result read a little like it was written by a delirious AI. I figured, maybe it was about time that I rewrote my proposition from scratch — y’know, now that I’m not in my twenties anymore. Hopefully, I’ve learned a couple things since then.

This… “Revised & Updated edition” of my ad is probably going to end up a sprawling wall-of-text. So be it. My intention is to write something that a couple could read together in bed, engrossed in the same way they might be if they were sharing a piece of erotica that resonated with them. So, settle in. Like with all stages of this process, let’s take it slow and savour it.

In the past, when writing these ads, I never managed to adequately articulate what my attraction to this kink was. Maybe that lack of self-awareness has been a blind-spot for me. Let’s start there, then.

PART ONE: LIKE A VIRGIN

I’ve never had that much interest in couples who’ve already established a comfortability with this taboo; or at least, with couples who’re already active in the lifestyle. I’ll admit, I find the prospect boring. No matter how attractive the wife may be, the notion of fucking her in-front of an audience that’s merely bemused by the sight of her with another man sounds painfully awkward to me. There may be exceptions, of course; but I’ve come to understand myself enough to know that it’s — at least in part — the taboo of “violating” a pre-existing relationship that motivates me.

I want the first time my cock dangles in-front of her face to empty the room of oxygen. Without that element of palpable transgression, this kink doesn’t offer me much that regular sex couldn’t. For this reason, I avoid so-called Stags/Vixens, or any other couple who feels overtly “empowered” by this kink. Nothing against that particular demographic, but it doesn’t excite me personally. Removing the shame from a kink rarely makes it more liberating, I’m afraid.

This is why I’ve always gravitated strongly towards couples with little or no prior experience with cuckolding (beyond whatever fantasies they’ve shared with each other, of course). There’s something about being the first person to penetrate the intimate bubble of a married or committed relationship that’s particularly satisfying as a Bull. Even the seemingly trivial stages of modern courtship become intensified under these heightened circumstances (like sexting for the first time before bed, knowing there’s a curious third-party potentially rubber-necking our conversation).

When the dynamic works, it can feel like consensual infidelity, with all the electricity of risky sex and none of the danger. I want the wife to feel like she’s lost in the thralls of a powerful, all-consuming affair. This discovery should feel destabilizing for the couple in a way that’s intoxicating, like discovering drugs for the first time in your teens.
Dabbling with psychedelic drugs for the first time is probably an apt metaphor, especially for any couple who’ve been monogamous for a long time. I’ve seen the dizzy, delirious look in their eyes the first time I unpack my cock and all of this suddenly becomes real.

PART TWO: THE MIND-FUCK

Now would probably be a fine opportunity to talk about the emotional risk that’s inherent to cuckolding and how I mitigate it, since I won’t be shy later on about describing how intense exploring this territory for the first time can be.
One of the qualities that makes me a uniquely qualified Bull — in my own estimations, anyway — is my emotional awareness. Aside from being able to read the room, I’m good at being able to detect the often subtle difference between the fantasy and genuine discomfort. That line gets blurry sometimes, but I’ve been successful at navigating it in the past.

And the times that I haven’t been so successful, well, I think I did a good job of smoothing over hurt feelings after the fact. When dealing with such a volatile kink, these things happen; I take them in stride and I never escalate the situation. As long as no one involved has malicious intentions, “messy” is the worst it can ever get, and a little mess is a part of life.

But cuckolding is certainly a mind-fuck, above all else. That’s why I think it’s important to have a good understanding of what makes someone tick, before you go fucking with their head — and potentially, with their relationship too. That’s why I opt to take things slow to begin with. Once I have that foundation of familiarity established, I’ve found that I’m able to explore more intense fantasies or scenarios, without fearing as much about any undue regret or unpleasantness for the couple. Without that familiarity or understanding, the likelihood of me saying or doing something that genuinely upsets someone or crosses a line increases, simply because of the delicate nature of this kink. And besides, sometimes it’s best to approach this kink the same way you’d boil a proverbial frog: bit-by-bit, so no one gets freaked out.

PART THREE: PROVIDER-TYPE-BULL

When talking with couples who are curious about this lifestyle, I’ve often been asked some variation of the question: why do you do this? Like my motives are somehow impenetrable and utterly shrouded in mystery. They ask: what do you get out of it? The answer is probably obvious: “I want my ego stroked while I enjoy pussy that doesn’t belong to me”. But of course, that’s only part of the truth, or this post would be a lot shorter.

I get a rush out of applying my dominant-streak to an entire marriage, that’s a given; but, besides being able to indulge in an extreme power-dynamic that feels oddly natural to me, I also enjoy the responsibility that being a Bull puts on me. I like knowing that a couple’s sex-life hinges on me continuing to deliver, making sure each encounter is memorable in a way that keeps them on their toes. And I like being the instigator of new experiences, the reason fantasies are fulfilled. Largely, I view my role as a Bull as being the engine that powers a couple’s self-discovery.

PART FOUR: A POT BOILING OVER

Often times, my attraction to cuckolding overlaps with my attraction to women who’ve been sexually neglected and/or frustrated. I know it sounds strange to admit this, but there you go. There’s just something about a woman whose needs have been boiling over, like a pot someone forgot was left on the stove. That type of repressed yearning for sexual connection always seems to make a woman stand out to me. I guess I’m just a sucker for a housewife with an itch that no one’s scratched.

When I meet these women, I find what they crave the most is a man who isn’t passive about his approach to sex. A man whose domination might allow her to flourish sexually, a man who can make her feel alive, drunk on her own feelings. Earlier, I wrote that I “aim to make the wife feel like she’s lost in the thralls of a powerful, all-consuming affair”. That prospect appeals the most to the women I’m describing. They would never cheat on their husband or significant other, but they still yearn for another man, even in the abstract, faceless sense. To these women, I’m often seen as the remedy to the proverbial Seven Year Itch, perhaps even as a substitute for a regrettable affair. Whether it’s because her husband is unable or unwilling to satisfy her, either way, she’s reached that boiling point and she needs me.

It’s not merely the idea of getting strange cock that makes them feel like a woman in the desert, dying of thirst, finally being offered a glass of cold water, it’s everything else that comes along with it:

Having an excuse to dress up, being able to look in the mirror and see herself through a pair of eyes that excites her. Being able to restore the power her sexuality once seemed to have, before being nullified by the ordinary and predictable. Going out on dates, getting to experience the sensation of feeling butterflies in her stomach again. Getting fingered while waiting for our Uber after dinner, wondering when the last time she felt this dangerous was.
There’s another common “Hotwife” archetype that I’ve encountered, who doesn’t crave an outlet for intimacy and belated self-discovery, so much as she gets-off on witnessing and participating in her husband’s emasculation. I’ll talk about this desire later on, but for now, I just wanted to acknowledge it.

PART FIVE: FIRST BABY STEPS

Before meeting for the first time, I like to chat with both parties separately, so I can gauge their expectations and alleviate any individual concerns they may have. The only exception I have to this would be if the husband wished to have no presence during our encounters (besides potentially having a pic sent to their phone afterward, or awkwardly waving when he picks his wife up outside my place). If that’s going to be the extent of their participation, then I don’t need any contact with the other party; he can just be a ring on her finger to me and I’ll just be the smell of cock on her breath to him. But if all parties wish to be present, then I prefer to have some prior connection before meeting.

Especially when the couple is anxious about taking the first step, this chatting phase has me functioning as a sort-of middle-man, almost like a perverse type of couple’s therapist. This initial back-and-forth has been a good means for me to establish a healthy sense of authority early on, which proves helpful later, if we do decide to meet. Serves as groundwork, I suppose; by the time we meet, it’ll already feel natural addressing me as your Bull.

This approach also gives both the wife and her cuck a separate safe place to express themselves. That part is often important for the would-be cuck, because they may have boundaries or insecurities that they don’t want to voice in-front of their wife. I’m an asshole — I mean, that’s why I’ve made a hobby out of fucking other men’s wives, let’s be honest — but still, I like to be as sensitive as I can about these things.

PART SIX: A BEDROOM BULLY

That was true, by the way; I mean the part about me being “an asshole”. If I’m given permission, I can be a world-class bully. I’ll insult a man to his face and let him listen to the love of his life giggle along with her mouth full of cock. I’m not shy about emasculating other men, so long as it’s been asked of me first.

A lot of married women are attracted to the taboo nature of male hierarchy. They enjoy seeing their husbands put in their place and they get off on being the prop used to do it. And a lot of married men fantasize about seeing their wife fucked in a way that renders them sexually obsolete. Often, these two seem to end up married, and it’s a combination that allows the bully in me to thrive.

That aspect of cuckolding — the emasculation factor, I guess we could call it — is not necessary for this dynamic to interest me, but humiliation is something that I’ve developed a talent for. I’m good at constructing artful scenarios to make a point of someone’s embarrassment or sexual inferiority.

This “talent” of mine manifests in different ways, depending entirely on the disposition of the couple in question. In this sense, my domination is as much a reflection of the couple receiving it as it is of me. Or, maybe it’s a little like that Carl Jung quote:

“The meeting of two three personalities is like the contact of two three chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both all are transformed.”

All this is to say, when a couple is inviting of that side of me, I’m happy to oblige them; but it’s very much an opt-in kinda thing.

But, sure. If a wife asked me to stop by while her husband was working, I would probably let him know I was there by leaving behind cum stains on his side of the bed. I’m not above rubbing salt in that wound, just for the sake of it. Because at the end of the day, I know the indignity of sleeping in that bed afterward will probably do more to electrify their sex-life than buying another vibrator or dildo ever could. For some men, receiving a handjob from their wife while they listen to her sheepishly recount her night with me, that’d be more satisfying than whatever sex they were having before we’d met.

I’m not bisexual in any tangible, actionable sense of the word, even though I am more than capable of getting off on the power dynamics that arise from cuckolding another man. That said, I’m also not particularly self-conscience about myself or my sexuality. I’m comfortable enough letting another man stare at my cock with the same transfixed expression that his wife is, I don’t really care. In that sense, I’m able to embrace the quasi-bisexuality that cuckolding implies. Receiving a thank you text for an amazing night along with a picture of her husband cleaning up after me.

Still, I have very little interest in traditional MFM threesomes. I’m not the kind of guy you share a woman with. If that were to happen, it would be with a couple that I had been cuckolding for a significant amount of time, and even then, there would likely be stipulations or a lot of alcohol involved. Most of the time, cucks are regulated to being audience members.

If a couple desired that I indulged in that “emasculation factor” to the extreme, I would be willing to order a cuck to clean-up after me, or other actions that blurred that line, even though it’s not something that I’ve really done in the past. If the dynamic we forged called for it though, I wouldn’t be reluctant to escalate things that far. As I’ve already said, I enjoy being a bully, so yeah, I’ll watch another man’s horrified reaction the first time he tastes my cum dribbling out of his wife’s cunt. I’d probably do a lot worse, if the right couple allowed me to push their boundaries far enough.

PART SEVEN: BEHIND THE CURTAIN

Before I wrap this up, I want to share a little more about myself, mostly for the benefit of the hypothetical wife reading this post.

I live alone; it’s just me, myself and a cat. I rent a cozy penthouse in a quiet neighbourhood somewhere near Oakridge. (This does mean I’m able to host; but still, if a hotel-room would be more conducive to the vibe, I’m happy to make those arrangements for us. I’m reluctant to invite cucks I haven’t met before over to my apartment, I’ll be honest; but their wife is more than welcome to stay the night.)

There’s one reason why you might prefer my place, though. In my bedroom, there’s a large IKEA locker, crowned with houseplants. Inside it, you’ll find a considerable BDSM collection, hanging in ordered rows from hooks, like how I imagine John Wick’s arsenal is displayed. (I don’t know if John Wick really stores his guns that way, because I haven’t seen the film, but that’s the image I want you to imagine; that, except, y’know, the BDSM version).

I do love film, but instead of finally watching John Wick, these days, I’m more likely to watch some sleazy Italian film from the 70’s, the kind that are about a nun who gets whipped as punishment for their sexual fantasies, or a cheating housewife consumed by her own infidelity, or something elegantly tasteless like that. If there’s a rainy weekday afternoon that I need to kill, you’ll probably find me hiding away at the theatre, watching some old Ingmar Bergman movie.

“Elegantly tasteless” might also be a good description of my decor, too. Looking around my apartment, it wouldn’t be difficult to deduce that I had many eclectic interests. Just by glancing over the spines poking out of my overstuffed bookcases, you’d be able to figure out a lot about what preoccupies me. From dozens of books on philosophy, to a small occult library with grimoires printed in the 1800’s, to a collection of 1950’s pulp-fiction. I’m a weird person, and my living-space makes no attempt to downplay that.

I read a lot, but I write more. Writing has always been a compulsion for me, be it fiction, non-fiction, screenplays, excessively long FetLife posts, whatever. In the past, I’ve used this compulsion to write personalized erotica for couples, letting them use my creativity as a vehicle to explore their fantasies. This can sometimes be a detached way for them to explore various dynamics with me, sampling each through fiction, seeing what excites them the most. I’m sure reading these stories in bed together isn’t terrible foreplay for them, either.

But, that’s been plenty about me. Next, let’s talk about some of the specifics behind my proposal, then I’ll conclude this epic by telling you what to do if you’re curious about taking me up on it.

PART EIGHT: THE PROPOSAL

When it comes to finding a couple, I’m flexible about their ages. From early 20’s upward, all ages are welcome. If there were an ideal couple for me, they would be married, in their middle 40’s. But for me, it matters more that they have a stable, committed relationship. And beyond that, I’m far more interested in how unique our chemistry might be.

I’ve never cucked a couple that was significantly younger than me, but I will admit, there’s a perverse appeal to the idea of it. It’d probably be the one scenario that would bring out the Big Brother type of Bull in me. Teaching a middle-aged man how to fuck his woman is a fool’s errand, but I’d be more likely to take that mentor-like approach with a younger cuck.

I’m looking for a couple who are interested in the potential of pursuing a long-term arrangement, but I’m also willing to talk about one-off encounters. Who knows, sometimes you fuck around and you find out, and what was meant to be a one-night experiment turns into writing me a Christmas card thanking me for a year of blowing her back out. I’m happy to let things develop organically, without expectations. Life is more interesting when you’re willing to see where it takes you. If nothing else, I’m an excuse for couples to realize their marriage doesn’t have to be boring.

I like the idea of spoiling a couple. If it’s their anniversary, I’d offer to take them out to dinner, treat them, just to spend the rest of the night fucking the wife like I was the one celebrating putting a ring on her finger. (It honestly wouldn’t be the first time a man has thanked me for flipping the bill while his wife expressed her gratitude on her knees.) I’m the kind of Bull who’d surprise a wife with a new set of lingerie to wear, just because the novelty of fucking her in the lingerie she’d worn on her honeymoon had faded. I’d even take a couple on a weekend trip with me, just to take advantage of our connecting-rooms in the middle of the night. A reason why I prefer the prospect of a long-term relationship with a couple is because I think it would enable me to indulge in these kinds of scenarios much easier, especially something like taking a couple with me on vacation.

PART NINE: WHAT NOW?

If any of the unhinged ramblings above resonated with you, the next step is as simple as sending me a DM.

From my experience, most couples who are new to this kink are awfully shy, and that’s okay. If you’re not sure what to say, you can just say hello. Let me know your ages, how long you’ve been together and that you’re curious about the potential of having a Bull, then I’ll take it from there.

If you’re less shy, feel free to tell me more about yourselves and what kind of fantasies have lead you here. If you want a prompt, you can tell me which part of this post stuck out to you the most and why.

Regardless, I’m looking forward to hearing from you. Don’t be scared, sending a DM could be the best decision you’ve made in a long time. Life doesn’t have to be boring.

This was originally written for my FetLife account, which should be obvious, but I wanted to post it to Reddit too. I apologize for any funkiness that resulted from cutting-and-pasting.

**INTRODUCTION**

I know the length of this post will seem absurd and unnecessary to most who’ve dared to click on it, but given the delicate nature of this kink and how nuanced the lifestyle can be, I figured I ought to be thorough about my proposal. But before we delve into all that, let me introduce myself, so you have some idea of who’s on the other side of your screen right now.

I’m 33 years old. Six-foot-one, with an athletic build. I have dirty blond hair, handsome features and blue/green eyes. An ex once told me that I looked like a mix of Robert Pattinson and Elijah Wood, and every other girl I’ve mentioned that to since has nodded her head and said “yeah, that sounds about right”. I’m decently hung, about seven inches. *(Friends-only pics are available on my profile.)*

I became a Dom *(who moonlights as a Bull)* in my late teens, early twenties. Since then, this aspect of my personality has been continually cultivated and refined by experience. At this point in my life, my dominant-side has become fully incorporated into who I really am, and no longer feels like a performance, or like a mask that can simply be taken off. It’s just, *me*.

Over the past decade-plus spent here on FetLife, I’ve posted versions of this ad dozens of times, always offering to provide an inexperienced couple with “a thorough education”. I’ve had plenty of successful encounters, but perhaps just as importantly, these ads lead me to having exponentially more conversations with nervous couples.

Even when they ultimately got cold feet — *which happened fairly frequently, as you can imagine* — spending my time talking to these couples about their fantasy began to feel like I was conducting research. That was my education in the psychology of cuckolding, I suppose. I’d like to think this exposure has given me strong intuitions when it comes to navigating the anxieties that many new couples bring to the table, as well as a power to articulate the nuances of their fantasies.

After a certain point, those ads I was posting devolved into a Frankenstein monstrosity of cut-and-pasted text, until the end result read a little like it was written by a delirious AI. I figured, maybe it was about time that I rewrote my proposition from scratch — y’know, now that I’m not in my twenties anymore. Hopefully, I’ve learned a couple things since then.

This… “Revised & Updated edition” of my ad is probably going to end up a sprawling wall-of-text. So be it. My intention is to write something that a couple could read together in bed, engrossed in the same way they might be if they were sharing a piece of erotica that resonated with them. So, settle in. Like with all stages of this process, let’s take it slow and savour it.

In the past, when writing these ads, I never managed to adequately articulate what my attraction to this kink was. Maybe that lack of self-awareness has been a blind-spot for me. Let’s start there, then.

**PART ONE:** ***LIKE A VIRGIN***

I’ve never had that much interest in couples who’ve already established a comfortability with this taboo; or at least, with couples who’re already active in the lifestyle. I’ll admit, I find the prospect boring. No matter how attractive the wife may be, the notion of fucking her in-front of an audience that’s merely bemused by the sight of her with another man sounds painfully awkward to me. There may be exceptions, of course; but I’ve come to understand myself enough to know that it’s — *at least in part* — the taboo of “violating” a pre-existing relationship that motivates me.

I want the first time my cock dangles in-front of her face to empty the room of oxygen. Without that element of palpable transgression, this kink doesn’t offer me much that regular sex couldn’t. For this reason, I avoid so-called Stags/Vixens, or any other couple who feels overtly “empowered” by this kink. Nothing against that particular demographic, but it doesn’t excite me personally. Removing the shame from a kink rarely makes it more liberating, I’m afraid.

This is why I’ve always gravitated strongly towards couples with little or no prior experience with cuckolding *(beyond whatever fantasies they’ve shared with each other, of course)*. There’s something about being the first person to penetrate the intimate bubble of a married or committed relationship that’s particularly satisfying as a Bull. Even the seemingly trivial stages of modern courtship become intensified under these heightened circumstances *(like sexting for the first time before bed, knowing there’s a curious third-party potentially rubber-necking our conversation).*

When the dynamic works, it can feel like consensual infidelity, with all the electricity of risky sex and none of the danger. I want the wife to feel like she’s lost in the thralls of a powerful, all-consuming affair. This discovery should feel destabilizing for the couple in a way that’s intoxicating, like discovering drugs for the first time in your teens.
Dabbling with psychedelic drugs for the first time is probably an apt metaphor, especially for any couple who’ve been monogamous for a long time. I’ve seen the dizzy, delirious look in their eyes the first time I unpack my cock and all of this suddenly becomes real.

**PART TWO:** ***THE MIND-FUCK***

Now would probably be a fine opportunity to talk about the emotional risk that’s inherent to cuckolding and how I mitigate it, since I won’t be shy later on about describing how intense exploring this territory for the first time can be.
One of the qualities that makes me a uniquely qualified Bull — *in my own estimations, anyway* — is my emotional awareness. Aside from being able to read the room, I’m good at being able to detect the often subtle difference between the fantasy and genuine discomfort. That line gets blurry sometimes, but I’ve been successful at navigating it in the past.

And the times that I haven’t been so successful, well, I think I did a good job of smoothing over hurt feelings after the fact. When dealing with such a volatile kink, these things happen; I take them in stride and I never escalate the situation. As long as no one involved has malicious intentions, “messy” is the worst it can ever get, and a little mess is a part of life.

But cuckolding is certainly a mind-fuck, above all else. That’s why I think it’s important to have a good understanding of what makes someone tick, before you go fucking with their head — and potentially, with their relationship too. That’s why I opt to take things slow to begin with. Once I have that foundation of familiarity established, I’ve found that I’m able to explore more intense fantasies or scenarios, without fearing as much about any undue regret or unpleasantness for the couple. Without that familiarity or understanding, the likelihood of me saying or doing something that genuinely upsets someone or crosses a line increases, simply because of the delicate nature of this kink. And besides, sometimes it’s best to approach this kink the same way you’d boil a proverbial frog: bit-by-bit, so no one gets freaked out.

**PART THREE: PROVIDER-TYPE-BULL**

When talking with couples who are curious about this lifestyle, I’ve often been asked some variation of the question: *why do you do this?* Like my motives are somehow impenetrable and utterly shrouded in mystery. They ask: *what do you get out of it?* The answer is probably obvious: “I want my ego stroked while I enjoy pussy that doesn’t belong to me”. But of course, that’s only part of the truth, or this post would be a lot shorter.

I get a rush out of applying my dominant-streak to an entire marriage, that’s a given; but, besides being able to indulge in an extreme power-dynamic that feels oddly natural to me, I also enjoy the responsibility that being a Bull puts on me. I like knowing that a couple’s sex-life hinges on me continuing to deliver, making sure each encounter is memorable in a way that keeps them on their toes. And I like being the instigator of new experiences, the reason fantasies are fulfilled. Largely, I view my role as a Bull as being the engine that powers a couple’s self-discovery.

**PART FOUR: A POT BOILING OVER**

Often times, my attraction to cuckolding overlaps with my attraction to women who’ve been sexually neglected and/or frustrated. I know it sounds strange to admit this, but there you go. There’s just something about a woman whose needs have been boiling over, like a pot someone forgot was left on the stove. That type of repressed yearning for sexual connection always seems to make a woman stand out to me. I guess I’m just a sucker for a housewife with an itch that no one’s scratched.

When I meet these women, I find what they crave the most is a man who isn’t passive about his approach to sex. A man whose domination might allow her to flourish sexually, a man who can make her feel alive, drunk on her own feelings. Earlier, I wrote that I “aim to make the wife feel like she’s lost in the thralls of a powerful, all-consuming affair”. That prospect appeals the most to the women I’m describing. They would never cheat on their husband or significant other, but they still yearn for another man, even in the abstract, faceless sense. To these women, I’m often seen as the remedy to the proverbial *Seven Year Itch*, perhaps even as a substitute for a regrettable affair. Whether it’s because her husband is unable or unwilling to satisfy her, either way, she’s reached that boiling point and she needs me.

It’s not merely the idea of getting strange cock that makes them feel like a woman in the desert, dying of thirst, finally being offered a glass of cold water, it’s everything else that comes along with it:

*Having an excuse to dress up, being able to look in the mirror and see herself through a pair of eyes that excites her. Being able to restore the power her sexuality once seemed to have, before being nullified by the ordinary and predictable. Going out on dates, getting to experience the sensation of feeling butterflies in her stomach again. Getting fingered while waiting for our Uber after dinner, wondering when the last time she felt this dangerous was.*
There’s another common “Hotwife” archetype that I’ve encountered, who doesn’t crave an outlet for intimacy and belated self-discovery, so much as she gets-off on witnessing and participating in her husband’s emasculation. I’ll talk about this desire later on, but for now, I just wanted to acknowledge it.

**PART FIVE: FIRST BABY STEPS**

Before meeting for the first time, I like to chat with both parties separately, so I can gauge their expectations and alleviate any individual concerns they may have. The only exception I have to this would be if the husband wished to have no presence during our encounters *(besides potentially having a pic sent to their phone afterward, or awkwardly waving when he picks his wife up outside my place)*. If that’s going to be the extent of their participation, then I don’t need any contact with the other party; he can just be a ring on her finger to me and I’ll just be the smell of cock on her breath to him. But if all parties wish to be present, then I prefer to have some prior connection before meeting.

Especially when the couple is anxious about taking the first step, this chatting phase has me functioning as a sort-of middle-man, almost like a perverse type of couple’s therapist. This initial back-and-forth has been a good means for me to establish a healthy sense of authority early on, which proves helpful later, if we do decide to meet. Serves as groundwork, I suppose; by the time we meet, it’ll already feel natural addressing me as your Bull.

This approach also gives both the wife and her cuck a separate safe place to express themselves. That part is often important for the would-be cuck, because they may have boundaries or insecurities that they don’t want to voice in-front of their wife. I’m an asshole — *I mean, that’s why I’ve made a hobby out of fucking other men’s wives, let’s be honest* — but still, I like to be as sensitive as I can about these things.

**PART SIX: A BEDROOM BULLY**

That was true, by the way; I mean the part about me being “an asshole”. If I’m given permission, I can be a world-class bully. I’ll insult a man to his face and let him listen to the love of his life giggle along with her mouth full of cock. I’m not shy about emasculating other men, so long as it’s been asked of me first.

A lot of married women are attracted to the taboo nature of male hierarchy. They enjoy seeing their husbands put in their place and they get off on being the prop used to do it. And a lot of married men fantasize about seeing their wife fucked in a way that renders them sexually obsolete. Often, these two seem to end up married, and it’s a combination that allows the bully in me to thrive.

That aspect of cuckolding — *the emasculation factor, I guess we could call it* — is not necessary for this dynamic to interest me, but humiliation is something that I’ve developed a talent for. I’m good at constructing artful scenarios to make a point of someone’s embarrassment or sexual inferiority.

This “talent” of mine manifests in different ways, depending entirely on the disposition of the couple in question. In this sense, my domination is as much a reflection of the couple receiving it as it is of me. Or, maybe it’s a little like that Carl Jung quote:

“The meeting of two three personalities is like the contact of ~~two~~ three chemical substances: if there is any reaction, ~~both~~ all are transformed.”

All this is to say, when a couple is inviting of that side of me, I’m happy to oblige them; but it’s very much an opt-in kinda thing.

But, sure. If a wife asked me to stop by while her husband was working, I would probably let him know I was there by leaving behind cum stains on his side of the bed. I’m not above rubbing salt in that wound, just for the sake of it. Because at the end of the day, I know the indignity of sleeping in that bed afterward will probably do more to electrify their sex-life than buying another vibrator or dildo ever could. For some men, receiving a handjob from their wife while they listen to her sheepishly recount her night with me, that’d be more satisfying than whatever sex they were having before we’d met.

I’m not bisexual in any tangible, actionable sense of the word, even though I am more than capable of getting off on the power dynamics that arise from cuckolding another man. That said, I’m also not particularly self-conscience about myself or my sexuality. I’m comfortable enough letting another man stare at my cock with the same transfixed expression that his wife is, I don’t really care. In that sense, I’m able to embrace the quasi-bisexuality that cuckolding implies. Receiving a thank you text for an amazing night along with a picture of her husband cleaning up after me.

Still, I have very little interest in traditional MFM threesomes. I’m not the kind of guy you share a woman with. If that were to happen, it would be with a couple that I had been cuckolding for a significant amount of time, and even then, there would likely be stipulations or a lot of alcohol involved. Most of the time, cucks are regulated to being audience members.

If a couple desired that I indulged in that “emasculation factor” to the extreme, I would be willing to order a cuck to clean-up after me, or other actions that blurred that line, even though it’s not something that I’ve really done in the past. If the dynamic we forged called for it though, I wouldn’t be reluctant to escalate things that far. As I’ve already said, I enjoy being a bully, so yeah, I’ll watch another man’s horrified reaction the first time he tastes my cum dribbling out of his wife’s cunt. I’d probably do a lot worse, if the right couple allowed me to push their boundaries far enough.

**PART SEVEN: BEHIND THE CURTAIN**

Before I wrap this up, I want to share a little more about myself, mostly for the benefit of the hypothetical wife reading this post.

I live alone; it’s just me, myself and a cat. I rent a cozy penthouse in a quiet neighbourhood somewhere near Oakridge. *(This does mean I’m able to host; but still, if a hotel-room would be more conducive to the vibe, I’m happy to make those arrangements for us. I’m reluctant to invite cucks I haven’t met before over to my apartment, I’ll be honest; but their wife is more than welcome to stay the night.)*

There’s one reason why you might prefer my place, though. In my bedroom, there’s a large IKEA locker, crowned with houseplants. Inside it, you’ll find a considerable BDSM collection, hanging in ordered rows from hooks, like how I imagine John Wick’s arsenal is displayed. *(I don’t know if John Wick really stores his guns that way, because I haven’t seen the film, but that’s the image I want you to imagine; that, except, y’know, the BDSM version)*.

I do love film, but instead of finally watching John Wick, these days, I’m more likely to watch some sleazy Italian film from the 70’s, the kind that are about a nun who gets whipped as punishment for their sexual fantasies, or a cheating housewife consumed by her own infidelity, or something elegantly tasteless like that. If there’s a rainy weekday afternoon that I need to kill, you’ll probably find me hiding away at the theatre, watching some old Ingmar Bergman movie.

“Elegantly tasteless” might also be a good description of my decor, too. Looking around my apartment, it wouldn’t be difficult to deduce that I had many eclectic interests. Just by glancing over the spines poking out of my overstuffed bookcases, you’d be able to figure out a lot about what preoccupies me. From dozens of books on philosophy, to a small occult library with grimoires printed in the 1800’s, to a collection of 1950’s pulp-fiction. I’m a weird person, and my living-space makes no attempt to downplay that.

I read a lot, but I write more. Writing has always been a compulsion for me, be it fiction, non-fiction, screenplays, excessively long FetLife posts, whatever. In the past, I’ve used this compulsion to write personalized erotica for couples, letting them use my creativity as a vehicle to explore their fantasies. This can sometimes be a detached way for them to explore various dynamics with me, sampling each through fiction, seeing what excites them the most. I’m sure reading these stories in bed together isn’t terrible foreplay for them, either.

But, that’s been plenty about me. Next, let’s talk about some of the specifics behind my proposal, then I’ll conclude this epic by telling you what to do if you’re curious about taking me up on it.

**PART EIGHT: THE PROPOSAL**

When it comes to finding a couple, I’m flexible about their ages. From early 20’s upward, all ages are welcome. If there *were* an ideal couple for me, they would be married, in their middle 40’s. But for me, it matters more that they have a stable, committed relationship. And beyond that, I’m far more interested in how unique our chemistry might be.

I’ve never cucked a couple that was significantly younger than me, but I will admit, there’s a perverse appeal to the idea of it. It’d probably be the one scenario that would bring out the Big Brother type of Bull in me. Teaching a middle-aged man how to fuck his woman is a fool’s errand, but I’d be more likely to take that mentor-like approach with a younger cuck.

I’m looking for a couple who are interested in the potential of pursuing a long-term arrangement, but I’m also willing to talk about one-off encounters. Who knows, sometimes you fuck around and you find out, and what was meant to be a one-night experiment turns into writing me a Christmas card thanking me for a year of blowing her back out. I’m happy to let things develop organically, without expectations. Life is more interesting when you’re willing to see where it takes you. If nothing else, I’m an excuse for couples to realize their marriage doesn’t have to be boring.

I like the idea of spoiling a couple. If it’s their anniversary, I’d offer to take them out to dinner, treat them, just to spend the rest of the night fucking the wife like I was the one celebrating putting a ring on her finger. (It honestly wouldn’t be the first time a man has thanked me for flipping the bill while his wife expressed her gratitude on her knees.) I’m the kind of Bull who’d surprise a wife with a new set of lingerie to wear, just because the novelty of fucking her in the lingerie she’d worn on her honeymoon had faded. I’d even take a couple on a weekend trip with me, just to take advantage of our connecting-rooms in the middle of the night. A reason why I prefer the prospect of a long-term relationship with a couple is because I think it would enable me to indulge in these kinds of scenarios much easier, especially something like taking a couple with me on vacation.

**PART NINE: WHAT NOW?**

If any of the unhinged ramblings above resonated with you, the next step is as simple as sending me a DM.

From my experience, most couples who are new to this kink are awfully shy, and that’s okay. If you’re not sure what to say, you can just say hello. Let me know your ages, how long you’ve been together and that you’re curious about the potential of having a Bull, then I’ll take it from there.

If you’re less shy, feel free to tell me more about yourselves and what kind of fantasies have lead you here. If you want a prompt, you can tell me which part of this post stuck out to you the most and why.

Regardless, I’m looking forward to hearing from you. Don’t be scared, sending a DM could be the best decision you’ve made in a long time. Life doesn’t have to be boring.

This was originally written for my FetLife account, which should be obvious, but I wanted to post it to Reddit too. I apologize for any funkiness that resulted from cutting-and-pasting.

**INTRODUCTION**

I know the length of this post will seem absurd and unnecessary to most who’ve dared to click on it, but given the delicate nature of this kink and how nuanced the lifestyle can be, I figured I ought to be thorough about my proposal. But before we delve into all that, let me introduce myself, so you have some idea of who’s on the other side of your screen right now.

I’m 33 years old. Six-foot-one, with an athletic build. I have dirty blond hair, handsome features and blue/green eyes. An ex once told me that I looked like a mix of Robert Pattinson and Elijah Wood, and every other girl I’ve mentioned that to since has nodded her head and said “yeah, that sounds about right”. I’m decently hung, about seven inches. *(Friends-only pics are available on my profile.)*

I became a Dom *(who moonlights as a Bull)* in my late teens, early twenties. Since then, this aspect of my personality has been continually cultivated and refined by experience. At this point in my life, my dominant-side has become fully incorporated into who I really am, and no longer feels like a performance, or like a mask that can simply be taken off. It’s just, *me*.

Over the past decade-plus spent here on FetLife, I’ve posted versions of this ad dozens of times, always offering to provide an inexperienced couple with “a thorough education”. I’ve had plenty of successful encounters, but perhaps just as importantly, these ads lead me to having exponentially more conversations with nervous couples.

Even when they ultimately got cold feet — *which happened fairly frequently, as you can imagine* — spending my time talking to these couples about their fantasy began to feel like I was conducting research. That was my education in the psychology of cuckolding, I suppose. I’d like to think this exposure has given me strong intuitions when it comes to navigating the anxieties that many new couples bring to the table, as well as a power to articulate the nuances of their fantasies.

After a certain point, those ads I was posting devolved into a Frankenstein monstrosity of cut-and-pasted text, until the end result read a little like it was written by a delirious AI. I figured, maybe it was about time that I rewrote my proposition from scratch — y’know, now that I’m not in my twenties anymore. Hopefully, I’ve learned a couple things since then.

This… “Revised & Updated edition” of my ad is probably going to end up a sprawling wall-of-text. So be it. My intention is to write something that a couple could read together in bed, engrossed in the same way they might be if they were sharing a piece of erotica that resonated with them. So, settle in. Like with all stages of this process, let’s take it slow and savour it.

In the past, when writing these ads, I never managed to adequately articulate what my attraction to this kink was. Maybe that lack of self-awareness has been a blind-spot for me. Let’s start there, then.

**PART ONE:** ***LIKE A VIRGIN***

I’ve never had that much interest in couples who’ve already established a comfortability with this taboo; or at least, with couples who’re already active in the lifestyle. I’ll admit, I find the prospect boring. No matter how attractive the wife may be, the notion of fucking her in-front of an audience that’s merely bemused by the sight of her with another man sounds painfully awkward to me. There may be exceptions, of course; but I’ve come to understand myself enough to know that it’s — *at least in part* — the taboo of “violating” a pre-existing relationship that motivates me.

I want the first time my cock dangles in-front of her face to empty the room of oxygen. Without that element of palpable transgression, this kink doesn’t offer me much that regular sex couldn’t. For this reason, I avoid so-called Stags/Vixens, or any other couple who feels overtly “empowered” by this kink. Nothing against that particular demographic, but it doesn’t excite me personally. Removing the shame from a kink rarely makes it more liberating, I’m afraid.

This is why I’ve always gravitated strongly towards couples with little or no prior experience with cuckolding *(beyond whatever fantasies they’ve shared with each other, of course)*. There’s something about being the first person to penetrate the intimate bubble of a married or committed relationship that’s particularly satisfying as a Bull. Even the seemingly trivial stages of modern courtship become intensified under these heightened circumstances *(like sexting for the first time before bed, knowing there’s a curious third-party potentially rubber-necking our conversation).*

When the dynamic works, it can feel like consensual infidelity, with all the electricity of risky sex and none of the danger. I want the wife to feel like she’s lost in the thralls of a powerful, all-consuming affair. This discovery should feel destabilizing for the couple in a way that’s intoxicating, like discovering drugs for the first time in your teens.
Dabbling with psychedelic drugs for the first time is probably an apt metaphor, especially for any couple who’ve been monogamous for a long time. I’ve seen the dizzy, delirious look in their eyes the first time I unpack my cock and all of this suddenly becomes real.

**PART TWO:** ***THE MIND-FUCK***

Now would probably be a fine opportunity to talk about the emotional risk that’s inherent to cuckolding and how I mitigate it, since I won’t be shy later on about describing how intense exploring this territory for the first time can be.
One of the qualities that makes me a uniquely qualified Bull — *in my own estimations, anyway* — is my emotional awareness. Aside from being able to read the room, I’m good at being able to detect the often subtle difference between the fantasy and genuine discomfort. That line gets blurry sometimes, but I’ve been successful at navigating it in the past.

And the times that I haven’t been so successful, well, I think I did a good job of smoothing over hurt feelings after the fact. When dealing with such a volatile kink, these things happen; I take them in stride and I never escalate the situation. As long as no one involved has malicious intentions, “messy” is the worst it can ever get, and a little mess is a part of life.

But cuckolding is certainly a mind-fuck, above all else. That’s why I think it’s important to have a good understanding of what makes someone tick, before you go fucking with their head — and potentially, with their relationship too. That’s why I opt to take things slow to begin with. Once I have that foundation of familiarity established, I’ve found that I’m able to explore more intense fantasies or scenarios, without fearing as much about any undue regret or unpleasantness for the couple. Without that familiarity or understanding, the likelihood of me saying or doing something that genuinely upsets someone or crosses a line increases, simply because of the delicate nature of this kink. And besides, sometimes it’s best to approach this kink the same way you’d boil a proverbial frog: bit-by-bit, so no one gets freaked out.

**PART THREE: PROVIDER-TYPE-BULL**

When talking with couples who are curious about this lifestyle, I’ve often been asked some variation of the question: *why do you do this?* Like my motives are somehow impenetrable and utterly shrouded in mystery. They ask: *what do you get out of it?* The answer is probably obvious: “I want my ego stroked while I enjoy pussy that doesn’t belong to me”. But of course, that’s only part of the truth, or this post would be a lot shorter.

I get a rush out of applying my dominant-streak to an entire marriage, that’s a given; but, besides being able to indulge in an extreme power-dynamic that feels oddly natural to me, I also enjoy the responsibility that being a Bull puts on me. I like knowing that a couple’s sex-life hinges on me continuing to deliver, making sure each encounter is memorable in a way that keeps them on their toes. And I like being the instigator of new experiences, the reason fantasies are fulfilled. Largely, I view my role as a Bull as being the engine that powers a couple’s self-discovery.

**PART FOUR: A POT BOILING OVER**

Often times, my attraction to cuckolding overlaps with my attraction to women who’ve been sexually neglected and/or frustrated. I know it sounds strange to admit this, but there you go. There’s just something about a woman whose needs have been boiling over, like a pot someone forgot was left on the stove. That type of repressed yearning for sexual connection always seems to make a woman stand out to me. I guess I’m just a sucker for a housewife with an itch that no one’s scratched.

When I meet these women, I find what they crave the most is a man who isn’t passive about his approach to sex. A man whose domination might allow her to flourish sexually, a man who can make her feel alive, drunk on her own feelings. Earlier, I wrote that I “aim to make the wife feel like she’s lost in the thralls of a powerful, all-consuming affair”. That prospect appeals the most to the women I’m describing. They would never cheat on their husband or significant other, but they still yearn for another man, even in the abstract, faceless sense. To these women, I’m often seen as the remedy to the proverbial *Seven Year Itch*, perhaps even as a substitute for a regrettable affair. Whether it’s because her husband is unable or unwilling to satisfy her, either way, she’s reached that boiling point and she needs me.

It’s not merely the idea of getting strange cock that makes them feel like a woman in the desert, dying of thirst, finally being offered a glass of cold water, it’s everything else that comes along with it:

*Having an excuse to dress up, being able to look in the mirror and see herself through a pair of eyes that excites her. Being able to restore the power her sexuality once seemed to have, before being nullified by the ordinary and predictable. Going out on dates, getting to experience the sensation of feeling butterflies in her stomach again. Getting fingered while waiting for our Uber after dinner, wondering when the last time she felt this dangerous was.*
There’s another common “Hotwife” archetype that I’ve encountered, who doesn’t crave an outlet for intimacy and belated self-discovery, so much as she gets-off on witnessing and participating in her husband’s emasculation. I’ll talk about this desire later on, but for now, I just wanted to acknowledge it.

**PART FIVE: FIRST BABY STEPS**

Before meeting for the first time, I like to chat with both parties separately, so I can gauge their expectations and alleviate any individual concerns they may have. The only exception I have to this would be if the husband wished to have no presence during our encounters *(besides potentially having a pic sent to their phone afterward, or awkwardly waving when he picks his wife up outside my place)*. If that’s going to be the extent of their participation, then I don’t need any contact with the other party; he can just be a ring on her finger to me and I’ll just be the smell of cock on her breath to him. But if all parties wish to be present, then I prefer to have some prior connection before meeting.

Especially when the couple is anxious about taking the first step, this chatting phase has me functioning as a sort-of middle-man, almost like a perverse type of couple’s therapist. This initial back-and-forth has been a good means for me to establish a healthy sense of authority early on, which proves helpful later, if we do decide to meet. Serves as groundwork, I suppose; by the time we meet, it’ll already feel natural addressing me as your Bull.

This approach also gives both the wife and her cuck a separate safe place to express themselves. That part is often important for the would-be cuck, because they may have boundaries or insecurities that they don’t want to voice in-front of their wife. I’m an asshole — *I mean, that’s why I’ve made a hobby out of fucking other men’s wives, let’s be honest* — but still, I like to be as sensitive as I can about these things.

**PART SIX: A BEDROOM BULLY**

That was true, by the way; I mean the part about me being “an asshole”. If I’m given permission, I can be a world-class bully. I’ll insult a man to his face and let him listen to the love of his life giggle along with her mouth full of cock. I’m not shy about emasculating other men, so long as it’s been asked of me first.

A lot of married women are attracted to the taboo nature of male hierarchy. They enjoy seeing their husbands put in their place and they get off on being the prop used to do it. And a lot of married men fantasize about seeing their wife fucked in a way that renders them sexually obsolete. Often, these two seem to end up married, and it’s a combination that allows the bully in me to thrive.

That aspect of cuckolding — *the emasculation factor, I guess we could call it* — is not necessary for this dynamic to interest me, but humiliation is something that I’ve developed a talent for. I’m good at constructing artful scenarios to make a point of someone’s embarrassment or sexual inferiority.

This “talent” of mine manifests in different ways, depending entirely on the disposition of the couple in question. In this sense, my domination is as much a reflection of the couple receiving it as it is of me. Or, maybe it’s a little like that Carl Jung quote:

“The meeting of two three personalities is like the contact of ~~two~~ three chemical substances: if there is any reaction, ~~both~~ all are transformed.”

All this is to say, when a couple is inviting of that side of me, I’m happy to oblige them; but it’s very much an opt-in kinda thing.

But, sure. If a wife asked me to stop by while her husband was working, I would probably let him know I was there by leaving behind cum stains on his side of the bed. I’m not above rubbing salt in that wound, just for the sake of it. Because at the end of the day, I know the indignity of sleeping in that bed afterward will probably do more to electrify their sex-life than buying another vibrator or dildo ever could. For some men, receiving a handjob from their wife while they listen to her sheepishly recount her night with me, that’d be more satisfying than whatever sex they were having before we’d met.

I’m not bisexual in any tangible, actionable sense of the word, even though I am more than capable of getting off on the power dynamics that arise from cuckolding another man. That said, I’m also not particularly self-conscience about myself or my sexuality. I’m comfortable enough letting another man stare at my cock with the same transfixed expression that his wife is, I don’t really care. In that sense, I’m able to embrace the quasi-bisexuality that cuckolding implies. Receiving a thank you text for an amazing night along with a picture of her husband cleaning up after me.

Still, I have very little interest in traditional MFM threesomes. I’m not the kind of guy you share a woman with. If that were to happen, it would be with a couple that I had been cuckolding for a significant amount of time, and even then, there would likely be stipulations or a lot of alcohol involved. Most of the time, cucks are regulated to being audience members.

If a couple desired that I indulged in that “emasculation factor” to the extreme, I would be willing to order a cuck to clean-up after me, or other actions that blurred that line, even though it’s not something that I’ve really done in the past. If the dynamic we forged called for it though, I wouldn’t be reluctant to escalate things that far. As I’ve already said, I enjoy being a bully, so yeah, I’ll watch another man’s horrified reaction the first time he tastes my cum dribbling out of his wife’s cunt. I’d probably do a lot worse, if the right couple allowed me to push their boundaries far enough.

**PART SEVEN: BEHIND THE CURTAIN**

Before I wrap this up, I want to share a little more about myself, mostly for the benefit of the hypothetical wife reading this post.

I live alone; it’s just me, myself and a cat. I rent a cozy penthouse in a quiet neighbourhood somewhere near Oakridge. *(This does mean I’m able to host; but still, if a hotel-room would be more conducive to the vibe, I’m happy to make those arrangements for us. I’m reluctant to invite cucks I haven’t met before over to my apartment, I’ll be honest; but their wife is more than welcome to stay the night.)*

There’s one reason why you might prefer my place, though. In my bedroom, there’s a large IKEA locker, crowned with houseplants. Inside it, you’ll find a considerable BDSM collection, hanging in ordered rows from hooks, like how I imagine John Wick’s arsenal is displayed. *(I don’t know if John Wick really stores his guns that way, because I haven’t seen the film, but that’s the image I want you to imagine; that, except, y’know, the BDSM version)*.

I do love film, but instead of finally watching John Wick, these days, I’m more likely to watch some sleazy Italian film from the 70’s, the kind that are about a nun who gets whipped as punishment for their sexual fantasies, or a cheating housewife consumed by her own infidelity, or something elegantly tasteless like that. If there’s a rainy weekday afternoon that I need to kill, you’ll probably find me hiding away at the theatre, watching some old Ingmar Bergman movie.

“Elegantly tasteless” might also be a good description of my decor, too. Looking around my apartment, it wouldn’t be difficult to deduce that I had many eclectic interests. Just by glancing over the spines poking out of my overstuffed bookcases, you’d be able to figure out a lot about what preoccupies me. From dozens of books on philosophy, to a small occult library with grimoires printed in the 1800’s, to a collection of 1950’s pulp-fiction. I’m a weird person, and my living-space makes no attempt to downplay that.

I read a lot, but I write more. Writing has always been a compulsion for me, be it fiction, non-fiction, screenplays, excessively long FetLife posts, whatever. In the past, I’ve used this compulsion to write personalized erotica for couples, letting them use my creativity as a vehicle to explore their fantasies. This can sometimes be a detached way for them to explore various dynamics with me, sampling each through fiction, seeing what excites them the most. I’m sure reading these stories in bed together isn’t terrible foreplay for them, either.

But, that’s been plenty about me. Next, let’s talk about some of the specifics behind my proposal, then I’ll conclude this epic by telling you what to do if you’re curious about taking me up on it.

**PART EIGHT: THE PROPOSAL**

When it comes to finding a couple, I’m flexible about their ages. From early 20’s upward, all ages are welcome. If there *were* an ideal couple for me, they would be married, in their middle 40’s. But for me, it matters more that they have a stable, committed relationship. And beyond that, I’m far more interested in how unique our chemistry might be.

I’ve never cucked a couple that was significantly younger than me, but I will admit, there’s a perverse appeal to the idea of it. It’d probably be the one scenario that would bring out the Big Brother type of Bull in me. Teaching a middle-aged man how to fuck his woman is a fool’s errand, but I’d be more likely to take that mentor-like approach with a younger cuck.

I’m looking for a couple who are interested in the potential of pursuing a long-term arrangement, but I’m also willing to talk about one-off encounters. Who knows, sometimes you fuck around and you find out, and what was meant to be a one-night experiment turns into writing me a Christmas card thanking me for a year of blowing her back out. I’m happy to let things develop organically, without expectations. Life is more interesting when you’re willing to see where it takes you. If nothing else, I’m an excuse for couples to realize their marriage doesn’t have to be boring.

I like the idea of spoiling a couple. If it’s their anniversary, I’d offer to take them out to dinner, treat them, just to spend the rest of the night fucking the wife like I was the one celebrating putting a ring on her finger. (It honestly wouldn’t be the first time a man has thanked me for flipping the bill while his wife expressed her gratitude on her knees.) I’m the kind of Bull who’d surprise a wife with a new set of lingerie to wear, just because the novelty of fucking her in the lingerie she’d worn on her honeymoon had faded. I’d even take a couple on a weekend trip with me, just to take advantage of our connecting-rooms in the middle of the night. A reason why I prefer the prospect of a long-term relationship with a couple is because I think it would enable me to indulge in these kinds of scenarios much easier, especially something like taking a couple with me on vacation.

**PART NINE: WHAT NOW?**

If any of the unhinged ramblings above resonated with you, the next step is as simple as sending me a DM.

From my experience, most couples who are new to this kink are awfully shy, and that’s okay. If you’re not sure what to say, you can just say hello. Let me know your ages, how long you’ve been together and that you’re curious about the potential of having a Bull, then I’ll take it from there.

If you’re less shy, feel free to tell me more about yourselves and what kind of fantasies have lead you here. If you want a prompt, you can tell me which part of this post stuck out to you the most and why.

Regardless, I’m looking forward to hearing from you. Don’t be scared, sending a DM could be the best decision you’ve made in a long time. Life doesn’t have to be boring.

This was originally written for my FetLife account, which should be obvious, but I wanted to post it to Reddit too. I apologize for any funkiness that resulted from cutting-and-pasting.

INTRODUCTION

I know the length of this post will seem absurd and unnecessary to most who’ve dared to click on it, but given the delicate nature of this kink and how nuanced the lifestyle can be, I figured I ought to be thorough about my proposal. But before we delve into all that, let me introduce myself, so you have some idea of who’s on the other side of your screen right now.

I’m 33 years old. Six-foot-one, with an athletic build. I have dirty blond hair, handsome features and blue/green eyes. An ex once told me that I looked like a mix of Robert Pattinson and Elijah Wood, and every other girl I’ve mentioned that to since has nodded her head and said “yeah, that sounds about right”. I’m decently hung, about seven inches. (Friends-only pics are available on my profile.)

I became a Dom (who moonlights as a Bull) in my late teens, early twenties. Since then, this aspect of my personality has been continually cultivated and refined by experience. At this point in my life, my dominant-side has become fully incorporated into who I really am, and no longer feels like a performance, or like a mask that can simply be taken off. It’s just, me.

Over the past decade-plus spent here on FetLife, I’ve posted versions of this ad dozens of times, always offering to provide an inexperienced couple with “a thorough education”. I’ve had plenty of successful encounters, but perhaps just as importantly, these ads lead me to having exponentially more conversations with nervous couples.

Even when they ultimately got cold feet — which happened fairly frequently, as you can imagine — spending my time talking to these couples about their fantasy began to feel like I was conducting research. That was my education in the psychology of cuckolding, I suppose. I’d like to think this exposure has given me strong intuitions when it comes to navigating the anxieties that many new couples bring to the table, as well as a power to articulate the nuances of their fantasies.

After a certain point, those ads I was posting devolved into a Frankenstein monstrosity of cut-and-pasted text, until the end result read a little like it was written by a delirious AI. I figured, maybe it was about time that I rewrote my proposition from scratch — y’know, now that I’m not in my twenties anymore. Hopefully, I’ve learned a couple things since then.

This… “Revised & Updated edition” of my ad is probably going to end up a sprawling wall-of-text. So be it. My intention is to write something that a couple could read together in bed, engrossed in the same way they might be if they were sharing a piece of erotica that resonated with them. So, settle in. Like with all stages of this process, let’s take it slow and savour it.

In the past, when writing these ads, I never managed to adequately articulate what my attraction to this kink was. Maybe that lack of self-awareness has been a blind-spot for me. Let’s start there, then.

PART ONE: LIKE A VIRGIN

I’ve never had that much interest in couples who’ve already established a comfortability with this taboo; or at least, with couples who’re already active in the lifestyle. I’ll admit, I find the prospect boring. No matter how attractive the wife may be, the notion of fucking her in-front of an audience that’s merely bemused by the sight of her with another man sounds painfully awkward to me. There may be exceptions, of course; but I’ve come to understand myself enough to know that it’s — at least in part — the taboo of “violating” a pre-existing relationship that motivates me.

I want the first time my cock dangles in-front of her face to empty the room of oxygen. Without that element of palpable transgression, this kink doesn’t offer me much that regular sex couldn’t. For this reason, I avoid so-called Stags/Vixens, or any other couple who feels overtly “empowered” by this kink. Nothing against that particular demographic, but it doesn’t excite me personally. Removing the shame from a kink rarely makes it more liberating, I’m afraid.

This is why I’ve always gravitated strongly towards couples with little or no prior experience with cuckolding (beyond whatever fantasies they’ve shared with each other, of course). There’s something about being the first person to penetrate the intimate bubble of a married or committed relationship that’s particularly satisfying as a Bull. Even the seemingly trivial stages of modern courtship become intensified under these heightened circumstances (like sexting for the first time before bed, knowing there’s a curious third-party potentially rubber-necking our conversation).

When the dynamic works, it can feel like consensual infidelity, with all the electricity of risky sex and none of the danger. I want the wife to feel like she’s lost in the thralls of a powerful, all-consuming affair. This discovery should feel destabilizing for the couple in a way that’s intoxicating, like discovering drugs for the first time in your teens.
Dabbling with psychedelic drugs for the first time is probably an apt metaphor, especially for any couple who’ve been monogamous for a long time. I’ve seen the dizzy, delirious look in their eyes the first time I unpack my cock and all of this suddenly becomes real.

PART TWO: THE MIND-FUCK

Now would probably be a fine opportunity to talk about the emotional risk that’s inherent to cuckolding and how I mitigate it, since I won’t be shy later on about describing how intense exploring this territory for the first time can be.
One of the qualities that makes me a uniquely qualified Bull — in my own estimations, anyway — is my emotional awareness. Aside from being able to read the room, I’m good at being able to detect the often subtle difference between the fantasy and genuine discomfort. That line gets blurry sometimes, but I’ve been successful at navigating it in the past.

And the times that I haven’t been so successful, well, I think I did a good job of smoothing over hurt feelings after the fact. When dealing with such a volatile kink, these things happen; I take them in stride and I never escalate the situation. As long as no one involved has malicious intentions, “messy” is the worst it can ever get, and a little mess is a part of life.

But cuckolding is certainly a mind-fuck, above all else. That’s why I think it’s important to have a good understanding of what makes someone tick, before you go fucking with their head — and potentially, with their relationship too. That’s why I opt to take things slow to begin with. Once I have that foundation of familiarity established, I’ve found that I’m able to explore more intense fantasies or scenarios, without fearing as much about any undue regret or unpleasantness for the couple. Without that familiarity or understanding, the likelihood of me saying or doing something that genuinely upsets someone or crosses a line increases, simply because of the delicate nature of this kink. And besides, sometimes it’s best to approach this kink the same way you’d boil a proverbial frog: bit-by-bit, so no one gets freaked out.

PART THREE: PROVIDER-TYPE-BULL

When talking with couples who are curious about this lifestyle, I’ve often been asked some variation of the question: why do you do this? Like my motives are somehow impenetrable and utterly shrouded in mystery. They ask: what do you get out of it? The answer is probably obvious: “I want my ego stroked while I enjoy pussy that doesn’t belong to me”. But of course, that’s only part of the truth, or this post would be a lot shorter.

I get a rush out of applying my dominant-streak to an entire marriage, that’s a given; but, besides being able to indulge in an extreme power-dynamic that feels oddly natural to me, I also enjoy the responsibility that being a Bull puts on me. I like knowing that a couple’s sex-life hinges on me continuing to deliver, making sure each encounter is memorable in a way that keeps them on their toes. And I like being the instigator of new experiences, the reason fantasies are fulfilled. Largely, I view my role as a Bull as being the engine that powers a couple’s self-discovery.

PART FOUR: A POT BOILING OVER

Often times, my attraction to cuckolding overlaps with my attraction to women who’ve been sexually neglected and/or frustrated. I know it sounds strange to admit this, but there you go. There’s just something about a woman whose needs have been boiling over, like a pot someone forgot was left on the stove. That type of repressed yearning for sexual connection always seems to make a woman stand out to me. I guess I’m just a sucker for a housewife with an itch that no one’s scratched.

When I meet these women, I find what they crave the most is a man who isn’t passive about his approach to sex. A man whose domination might allow her to flourish sexually, a man who can make her feel alive, drunk on her own feelings. Earlier, I wrote that I “aim to make the wife feel like she’s lost in the thralls of a powerful, all-consuming affair”. That prospect appeals the most to the women I’m describing. They would never cheat on their husband or significant other, but they still yearn for another man, even in the abstract, faceless sense. To these women, I’m often seen as the remedy to the proverbial Seven Year Itch, perhaps even as a substitute for a regrettable affair. Whether it’s because her husband is unable or unwilling to satisfy her, either way, she’s reached that boiling point and she needs me.

It’s not merely the idea of getting strange cock that makes them feel like a woman in the desert, dying of thirst, finally being offered a glass of cold water, it’s everything else that comes along with it:

Having an excuse to dress up, being able to look in the mirror and see herself through a pair of eyes that excites her. Being able to restore the power her sexuality once seemed to have, before being nullified by the ordinary and predictable. Going out on dates, getting to experience the sensation of feeling butterflies in her stomach again. Getting fingered while waiting for our Uber after dinner, wondering when the last time she felt this dangerous was.
There’s another common “Hotwife” archetype that I’ve encountered, who doesn’t crave an outlet for intimacy and belated self-discovery, so much as she gets-off on witnessing and participating in her husband’s emasculation. I’ll talk about this desire later on, but for now, I just wanted to acknowledge it.

PART FIVE: FIRST BABY STEPS

Before meeting for the first time, I like to chat with both parties separately, so I can gauge their expectations and alleviate any individual concerns they may have. The only exception I have to this would be if the husband wished to have no presence during our encounters (besides potentially having a pic sent to their phone afterward, or awkwardly waving when he picks his wife up outside my place). If that’s going to be the extent of their participation, then I don’t need any contact with the other party; he can just be a ring on her finger to me and I’ll just be the smell of cock on her breath to him. But if all parties wish to be present, then I prefer to have some prior connection before meeting.

Especially when the couple is anxious about taking the first step, this chatting phase has me functioning as a sort-of middle-man, almost like a perverse type of couple’s therapist. This initial back-and-forth has been a good means for me to establish a healthy sense of authority early on, which proves helpful later, if we do decide to meet. Serves as groundwork, I suppose; by the time we meet, it’ll already feel natural addressing me as your Bull.

This approach also gives both the wife and her cuck a separate safe place to express themselves. That part is often important for the would-be cuck, because they may have boundaries or insecurities that they don’t want to voice in-front of their wife. I’m an asshole — I mean, that’s why I’ve made a hobby out of fucking other men’s wives, let’s be honest — but still, I like to be as sensitive as I can about these things.

PART SIX: A BEDROOM BULLY

That was true, by the way; I mean the part about me being “an asshole”. If I’m given permission, I can be a world-class bully. I’ll insult a man to his face and let him listen to the love of his life giggle along with her mouth full of cock. I’m not shy about emasculating other men, so long as it’s been asked of me first.

A lot of married women are attracted to the taboo nature of male hierarchy. They enjoy seeing their husbands put in their place and they get off on being the prop used to do it. And a lot of married men fantasize about seeing their wife fucked in a way that renders them sexually obsolete. Often, these two seem to end up married, and it’s a combination that allows the bully in me to thrive.

That aspect of cuckolding — the emasculation factor, I guess we could call it — is not necessary for this dynamic to interest me, but humiliation is something that I’ve developed a talent for. I’m good at constructing artful scenarios to make a point of someone’s embarrassment or sexual inferiority.

This “talent” of mine manifests in different ways, depending entirely on the disposition of the couple in question. In this sense, my domination is as much a reflection of the couple receiving it as it is of me. Or, maybe it’s a little like that Carl Jung quote:

“The meeting of two three personalities is like the contact of two three chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both all are transformed.”

All this is to say, when a couple is inviting of that side of me, I’m happy to oblige them; but it’s very much an opt-in kinda thing.

But, sure. If a wife asked me to stop by while her husband was working, I would probably let him know I was there by leaving behind cum stains on his side of the bed. I’m not above rubbing salt in that wound, just for the sake of it. Because at the end of the day, I know the indignity of sleeping in that bed afterward will probably do more to electrify their sex-life than buying another vibrator or dildo ever could. For some men, receiving a handjob from their wife while they listen to her sheepishly recount her night with me, that’d be more satisfying than whatever sex they were having before we’d met.

I’m not bisexual in any tangible, actionable sense of the word, even though I am more than capable of getting off on the power dynamics that arise from cuckolding another man. That said, I’m also not particularly self-conscience about myself or my sexuality. I’m comfortable enough letting another man stare at my cock with the same transfixed expression that his wife is, I don’t really care. In that sense, I’m able to embrace the quasi-bisexuality that cuckolding implies. Receiving a thank you text for an amazing night along with a picture of her husband cleaning up after me.

Still, I have very little interest in traditional MFM threesomes. I’m not the kind of guy you share a woman with. If that were to happen, it would be with a couple that I had been cuckolding for a significant amount of time, and even then, there would likely be stipulations or a lot of alcohol involved. Most of the time, cucks are regulated to being audience members.

If a couple desired that I indulged in that “emasculation factor” to the extreme, I would be willing to order a cuck to clean-up after me, or other actions that blurred that line, even though it’s not something that I’ve really done in the past. If the dynamic we forged called for it though, I wouldn’t be reluctant to escalate things that far. As I’ve already said, I enjoy being a bully, so yeah, I’ll watch another man’s horrified reaction the first time he tastes my cum dribbling out of his wife’s cunt. I’d probably do a lot worse, if the right couple allowed me to push their boundaries far enough.

PART SEVEN: BEHIND THE CURTAIN

Before I wrap this up, I want to share a little more about myself, mostly for the benefit of the hypothetical wife reading this post.

I live alone; it’s just me, myself and a cat. I rent a cozy penthouse in a quiet neighbourhood somewhere near Oakridge. (This does mean I’m able to host; but still, if a hotel-room would be more conducive to the vibe, I’m happy to make those arrangements for us. I’m reluctant to invite cucks I haven’t met before over to my apartment, I’ll be honest; but their wife is more than welcome to stay the night.)

There’s one reason why you might prefer my place, though. In my bedroom, there’s a large IKEA locker, crowned with houseplants. Inside it, you’ll find a considerable BDSM collection, hanging in ordered rows from hooks, like how I imagine John Wick’s arsenal is displayed. (I don’t know if John Wick really stores his guns that way, because I haven’t seen the film, but that’s the image I want you to imagine; that, except, y’know, the BDSM version).

I do love film, but instead of finally watching John Wick, these days, I’m more likely to watch some sleazy Italian film from the 70’s, the kind that are about a nun who gets whipped as punishment for their sexual fantasies, or a cheating housewife consumed by her own infidelity, or something elegantly tasteless like that. If there’s a rainy weekday afternoon that I need to kill, you’ll probably find me hiding away at the theatre, watching some old Ingmar Bergman movie.

“Elegantly tasteless” might also be a good description of my decor, too. Looking around my apartment, it wouldn’t be difficult to deduce that I had many eclectic interests. Just by glancing over the spines poking out of my overstuffed bookcases, you’d be able to figure out a lot about what preoccupies me. From dozens of books on philosophy, to a small occult library with grimoires printed in the 1800’s, to a collection of 1950’s pulp-fiction. I’m a weird person, and my living-space makes no attempt to downplay that.

I read a lot, but I write more. Writing has always been a compulsion for me, be it fiction, non-fiction, screenplays, excessively long FetLife posts, whatever. In the past, I’ve used this compulsion to write personalized erotica for couples, letting them use my creativity as a vehicle to explore their fantasies. This can sometimes be a detached way for them to explore various dynamics with me, sampling each through fiction, seeing what excites them the most. I’m sure reading these stories in bed together isn’t terrible foreplay for them, either.

But, that’s been plenty about me. Next, let’s talk about some of the specifics behind my proposal, then I’ll conclude this epic by telling you what to do if you’re curious about taking me up on it.

PART EIGHT: THE PROPOSAL

When it comes to finding a couple, I’m flexible about their ages. From early 20’s upward, all ages are welcome. If there were an ideal couple for me, they would be married, in their middle 40’s. But for me, it matters more that they have a stable, committed relationship. And beyond that, I’m far more interested in how unique our chemistry might be.

I’ve never cucked a couple that was significantly younger than me, but I will admit, there’s a perverse appeal to the idea of it. It’d probably be the one scenario that would bring out the Big Brother type of Bull in me. Teaching a middle-aged man how to fuck his woman is a fool’s errand, but I’d be more likely to take that mentor-like approach with a younger cuck.

I’m looking for a couple who are interested in the potential of pursuing a long-term arrangement, but I’m also willing to talk about one-off encounters. Who knows, sometimes you fuck around and you find out, and what was meant to be a one-night experiment turns into writing me a Christmas card thanking me for a year of blowing her back out. I’m happy to let things develop organically, without expectations. Life is more interesting when you’re willing to see where it takes you. If nothing else, I’m an excuse for couples to realize their marriage doesn’t have to be boring.

I like the idea of spoiling a couple. If it’s their anniversary, I’d offer to take them out to dinner, treat them, just to spend the rest of the night fucking the wife like I was the one celebrating putting a ring on her finger. (It honestly wouldn’t be the first time a man has thanked me for flipping the bill while his wife expressed her gratitude on her knees.) I’m the kind of Bull who’d surprise a wife with a new set of lingerie to wear, just because the novelty of fucking her in the lingerie she’d worn on her honeymoon had faded. I’d even take a couple on a weekend trip with me, just to take advantage of our connecting-rooms in the middle of the night. A reason why I prefer the prospect of a long-term relationship with a couple is because I think it would enable me to indulge in these kinds of scenarios much easier, especially something like taking a couple with me on vacation.

PART NINE: WHAT NOW?

If any of the unhinged ramblings above resonated with you, the next step is as simple as sending me a DM.

From my experience, most couples who are new to this kink are awfully shy, and that’s okay. If you’re not sure what to say, you can just say hello. Let me know your ages, how long you’ve been together and that you’re curious about the potential of having a Bull, then I’ll take it from there.

If you’re less shy, feel free to tell me more about yourselves and what kind of fantasies have lead you here. If you want a prompt, you can tell me which part of this post stuck out to you the most and why.

Regardless, I’m looking forward to hearing from you. Don’t be scared, sending a DM could be the best decision you’ve made in a long time. Life doesn’t have to be boring.

I’m 6’1”, blond with blue eyes and hung. Don’t be shy.

6’1”, blond with blue eyes and hung.

I’m 6’1”, blond with blue eyes and hung. Don’t be shy.

Six-foot-two, blond with blue eyes and hung.

MSend me a DM and I’ll take it from there.

Send me a DM and I’ll take it from there.

I honestly didn’t think it would be so easy. I was there for two, three nights before I met my first couple. Stumbled into them at a Karaoke bar that was Elvis themed. Ended up fucking the wife with my shoes on, standing on the takiyama mats. I was there for three weeks total and I barely went 48 hours without pussy being handed to me.